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Balnyetnikoff
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Reviews
Futurama: The Prince and the Product (2023)
What was that?!
I am sorry- I am a long time fan of futurama, but this was one was just terrible.
Not funny at all. Each "toy" vignette was annoying, irrelevant, predictable, and generally stupid. I found myself looking forward to the ending and not caring at all about the main plot.
Although the characters have been fairly one dimensional for a while now, they are now just caricatures of themselves whittled down to just a few dumb catchphrases.
It was a struggle to finish and in general makes me very worried for the future of the show. If they are this out of ideas, why bother to bring it back in the first place?
Black Mirror: Beyond the Sea (2023)
Dumb and not worthy of Black Mirror
What used to be one of my favorite shows for it's interesting stories, good writing, and believable (and usually smart) characters, is now one of my least favorite episodes I have seen on any show ever.
First, it makes zero sense at all. Send the real human to space, but leave the replicas on Earth? Why? The exact opposite is the only thing that makes sense.
Then, an astronaut stays in orbit after his family is slaughtered? No way.
Then, this same guy slaughters his partner's family for zero reason and with zero warning.
Obviously they forgot how to write for this show.
Shock value and violence plus random technology doesn't equal a good sci fi show.
So disappointed.
Lightyear (2022)
Boring
I saw this in the theater with my 6 year old. She fell asleep and I almost did too...boring, nonsensical, inconsistent, and worst of all, not funny. What was the point?
Should have been free to watch on Disney plus.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Meh
This show has some good moments, but man, it is so dull. Everyone moves in slow motion and acts in bizarre nonsensical ways. Is it a western? If so, it is a bad parody. Is it SciFi? Kind of, in a copy/paste sort pf way. Just too weak overall to be worth watching.
Eternals (2021)
Boring and tedious
I hate to say it, but I might be done with Marvel movies. Apart from Spiderman, every new movie or show seems to be seriously lacking. Very disappointing and it makes me think the future of marvel is mediocre. Wooden acting, pointless and completely illogical and unrealistic (even for a "super hero" movie). I just couldn't care about any of the characters or the plot.
Moonfall (2022)
What??
The biggest mystery is how they convinced any of the cast to show up. This was hot garbage. It wasn't even the normal type of Emmerich bad- it was bootleg made for TV in China by people who copy/pasted footage from movies. What a joke. Can I please get a refund of my $5.99 rental?
The Cuphead Show! (2022)
Trash. Should not be advertised as a kids' show
Why is this allowed in the "child and family" section? This is seriously inappropriate garbage.
Netflix trash strikes again. Satanic images and death being the focus is considered ok for little kids?
Turning Red (2022)
Really boring and annoying
Literally the very first Disney movie that all of my kids couldn't finish watching...not sure who the target audience is, but there is minimal broad appeal, zero humor, and nothing much happening at all.
Sad excuse for a Disney film.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Bloated and stupid
I watched this in preparation to see the new Spider-Man movie...and wow, this was awful.
About 45 mins too long, incredibly stupid dialogue and plot points. No one acts like a normal human would in almost any situation. The writers and the director must have an incredibly low opinion of human kind if this is how they think people act.
I regret that I had to pay $4 to rent this.
The Green Knight (2021)
Miserable trash
What the hell? I cannot understand what is wrong with film studios. Trash film after trash film.
Unfortunately casting as well as a stupid overall film.
Foundation (2021)
Stupid and boring
Offensive to even call it "foundation."
This show is tedious. The show is lacking focus. The show is nothing like the book.
But, if you want woke in space, then sure.
Trash and a serious waste of potential.
Dune (2021)
It could have been so much better
I really wanted to love this movie. Dune is my favorite Sci-fi novel and this movie is beautiful (to watch). BUT, the writing misses so much. There was so much subtlety that was missed. The entire point about stillsuit discipline and the massive importance of water is given lip service, but then ignored repeatedly. The whole introduction of Paul into the freman society was poorly done (we didn't seem to care at all about killing Jamis- no "giving water to the dead").
Dune is about layers and subtlety and intrigue and this movie bare scratched the surface. If it was for the amazing cinematography and awesome feel to the movie I would have given it a 5, which breaks my heart as I have been looking forward to this movie for 2 years.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
This movie is devastatingly awful. The 10s are almost all fake!
It is rare for a movie to be so offensively bad that it actually damages the culture of a nation, but congrats space jam, you have achieved lows beyond my lowest expectations.
If I could give it zero stars I would.
Despicable.
P. S. Why is it that 99/100 of the 10 star reviews have only reviewed that movie? Super fake attempt by "someone" to improve the rating on here!
Elementary: The Price of Admission (2019)
Cool any time coins are part of a show
Interesting episode- especially with the artifacts and coins scene. As a numismatic fan I like any time coins come up!
The Twilight Zone (2019)
Weak
It tried soooo hard to capture the feel o the original and ended up feeling like an amateur student film trying to copy the style of something better. Wooden and unentertaining in every episode. Sad because I was genuinely excited about this as a huge fan of the original
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Not worth it
I really wanted to like it- I even made it about 3/4 though the episodes, but I just couldn't make myself finish it. Unbelievably boring and cheesy.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Worst Spider-Man yet
No idea how anyone would rate this highly...so predictable, terrible music, dumb plot.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Not a kids movie
This movie is dark, disturbing, and honestly kind of offensive. Filled throughout with horrifying images , this is not a kids movie. Trash.
Mulan (2020)
So stupid
This movie is utterly unbearable. The fake Chinese mysticism, the ridiculous story, and the horrible acting all make this one of the worst movies I have seen all year.
The Witches (2020)
Why?!
Casting, acting, pacing, all wrong. Another ruined movie. Chris Rock is terrible.
The only reason it got 2 stars was that it had some good songs.
Mickey and the Roadster Racers: Guru Goofy/Breakfast and Bungled (2017)
Offensive
While most episodes are just "not good" - this one is actively offensive.
Is goofy a Buddhist now? Why is this being shoved into kids faces? "Guru goofy" should have resulted in this show being cancelled.
Unreal.