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dove22309
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The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
But why'd they have to make her so ugly?
First off, the whole movie might just hit a Razzies grand slam for 2008. This film easily achieves Worst "Actress" for Paris Hilton, but the horrible support of the main actor Joel Moore on her side, the no-brainer screenplay, the childish script (if you look in the quotes section, see if it feels like the way ACTUAL human beings would normally talk), and the horribly wrong direction is not helping her out. It's horrible to see that this movie was accepted to be taken on to be a movie.
The Premise is simple: A guy (Moore) chases the girl of his dreams from kindergarten (Hilton), and finds her just as stunning, and single, as he could have ever dreamed. Well, not entirely single, as she still has the same friend from kindergarten (Larkin), who is hideously ugly. Hideously. Disgustingly. Hell-Hole. Frigging. Ugly! Jesus! All the money it must have took to make 100% sure that Larkin was going to be the most vomit inducing creature must have been half the cost of the movie. The other half must have been Hilton's salary, as, there is nothing else that possibly could have cost money, as the movie really has nothing to offer. Don't get me wrong, though, Paris Hilton's "Acting" doesn't even deserve the time and energy it takes to pull out a check. Before I get off on a tangent (or is it too late), it sickens me to see that hideous creature co-starring this mess.
Well anyway, as it turns out, Moore has to find a guy to go out with Larkin, because Hilton swore that she wouldn't ever date again until her friend has a date too. And, oh-so surprisingly, Moore starts to develop feelings for Larkin despite the ugliness(!!!!!) of her skin. Don't blame me for the horrible predictable screenplay, as anyone with eyes could see that something like this would happen. Of course, normally a moral is at least enough from saving a movie to be a 2 instead of a 1, but the true showing of Moore's character's true liking for the "Nottie" is after her surgery and transformation. It implies to all young girls that they NEED to be that perfect ten in order to be looked gracefully upon society. That is a horrible thing to engrave into a girls mind.
AND THEY HAD TO MAKE HER SO FREAKING UGLY! It's torture staring at the screen with that freakish wreak up there. And half the movie is gross out gags making fun of her. It isn't even like Norbit's make-up department, which made a black man believably Asian. Instead, it enhances unbelievability, as no one would ever be that ugly. Normally, I look for ANYTHING to give in order to prevent a 1 star vote. This includes Acting, Special Effects, Costumes, Dialog, even one fresh joke. But this movie deserves what I give it, the worst possible grade ever. I wish there was a Zero out of Ten, as this movie gives me and my eyes nothing but pain.