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Reviews
Immaculate (2024)
Suspiria/Rosemary's Baby
If you have seen either of the films in this title you have seen this movie. It's a blend of both films in a new age telling Nun-horror. As eerie and unsettling as it is, it's a blatant copy of both Suspiria and Rosemary's Baby. More so, Suspiria even down to the Goblin-esque soundtrack and the all female in a controlled location with a secret sect running the dark confines of convent. We throw in the nursing home aesthetics to add jump scares, because becoming old and senile is frightening. The Rosemary feeling you get is from the being a pregnant woman carrying the devil's spawn, and a religious group of whatever form holding you hostage. It maybe ok for youthful horror addicts just looking for a scare but it's been done and it's frankly boring.
Punk's Dead: SLC Punk 2 (2016)
Punk is Dead if Machine Gun Kelly is in it.
Enough said for this observation, this movie loses sight of what the original was even about. And the director/writer did the first one. This is a clear cash grab opportunity. The fact that the recent generation of phone drones don't know how to do a proper musical or cultural shift in retaliation of a clear attempt to control our ways of thinking and speech really goes to show you that, much like the title says, Punk truly is dead and I weep for the now old punkers grasping for any meaningful attempt to spark a change in any walk of life in this messed up world. Machine Gun Kelly.....really?! What's wrong with people?
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
It's Ok but...
With all the nods to the original flick it checked the "oh are some die hard fans out there still?" Block. But, the story was boring in parts, and the scares were downright boring. Let's do full tilt on the next one please, don't dumb it down or soften it for new generations. They kept some camp in there, and gore effects were great. But some of this could've been done so much better. The mom character felt held back and trying to make here more menacing came off stale in my opinion. Which again, solely my opinion. I loved the original 3 and at first was apprehensive to the "remake" but it was glorious. This was just kinda eh.
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Dreams in the Witch House (2022)
Great Effects but ruined the story.
If you are an avid Lovecraft reader, as I am. The you will be as confused on this episode being called "Dreams in the Witch House" Does it have a Witch? Yes. Does it have a rodent with a man's face? Yes. But other than the names of characters that's about it. No geometric studies of an odd room, that opens a door way to another dimension as the story goes. What you get is a chopped up story of a lost twin and drug use to another dimension. The scene in the church carries on way too long and honestly has no substance to the rest of the story. It's not a bad story but it shouldn't carry the moniker of the Lovecraft tale. If you've never read the story it will be a great episode but it fell flat.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Trey Songz?
I'm sorry but anytime you put a pop star/rapper in movies they end up failing. I'm sure directors fight it tooth and nail to not include them in films but are probably overturned by money hungry execs. Either way, look at the past with rappers turned actors. Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection, horrible movie devoid of any plot. Redman in Seed of Chucky, we'll all Child's Play films suck so no help there. Ice-T in Leprechaun hahaha no. LL Cool J didn't do bad in his minor role but without him in the film it wouldn't have been noticed in Halloween H20. Just stop this, it's never a good idea.
The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)
Didn't Welles do this already?
Remembering the rollout cart with VCR and large Sony tv from my high school years, this seemed vaguely familiar. It's a decent adaptation for those who have never seen the Orson Welles version but seems like we've done this before and didn't need to go through it again. Michael Fassbender stars in an updated version as well and portrayed Macbeth flawlessly. This seems like a pet project that automatically is deemed "picture of the year" due to a Coen being attached to it. The film was beautiful and well acted but just seems like we are still regurgitating old ideas to cater to a new audience of lazy movie goers.
Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman (2021)
Ted Bundy Lifetime Movie?
That's exactly how this movie feels, and then I guess to support woke culture they make a female investigator. Nothing wrong there, but it's not reality. Just stick to the truth the events of Bundy's killing spree do not need to be embellished for the sake of appeasing collections of unimaginative people.