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Superlove999
Reviews
American Honey (2016)
The Cannes Jury Prize? Seriously?
I just don't get it.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I was this baffled over the Grand-Canyon-sized gap between a movie's rave reviews and my own experience viewing it. Granted, the on-the-road scenery was pretty to look at, but everything else was so laughably bad. Not one character, event, or line of dialogue rang true, and there were points where I actually felt insulted by being expected to believe what was happening on screen. Here are my major complaints:
- Say what you will about Shia LaBeouf - at least he demonstrates an ability to convey different emotions through facial expressions and vocal inflections. That's kind of an important quality for an actor. Unfortunately Sasha Lane didn't get that memo. The movie was nearly three hours long, and I can count on one hand the number of times her facial expression changed. Casting a block of wood as Star would have been a more economical choice, with virtually identical results.
- Here's how the adventure begins: Star is walking along the street, she sees a guy pressing his buttcheeks against the window of a passing van, and BOOM, she's instantly drawn into following them. That's supposed to be a believable precipitating incident? She's entranced by buttcheeks in a moving car?
- The character Crystal actually says the film's title on screen within the first 15 minutes. The only way it could have been more on-the-nose is if she looked directly into the camera and winked.
- Would it have KILLED Andrea Arnold to do some research on what it's actually like to work a door-to-door job? As someone who's worked as a canvasser, I can unequivocally say that not one magazine-selling interaction in this movie was remotely believable. According to this movie, people just LOVE when strange youngsters interrupt their day to show up on their property (dressed like total slobs in this case), selling them things they don't want and didn't ask for... especially rich people! They'll always invite you right in, and never assume you're about to rob them or case their home for a burglary! They're fine with you copping an attitude and talking back to them when you're inside their home!They'd love it if you appear out of nowhere and start following them up their driveway! They'd be totally cool with you playing around with their outdoor decor right in front of their faces! Most of all, they'd certainly never call the cops on you, not even if you're smoking weed or brandishing a deadly weapon on the sidewalk in broad daylight! Yep.
- I'll just give one specific example of one of the many non-reality-based scenes in the movie: So, Star is picked up by a car full of older cowboy types and brought to their house for a barbecue. Total strangers pick up some random girl they've never met, and just bring her right into their home to hang out (with no obvious ulterior motive). This was completely ridiculous, but as soon as Jake shows up with his gun to steal the car, it was catapulted to outright absurd. I mean, come on... a group of older caucasian gentlemen in middle America who are all wearing matching white cowboy hats - these are the kinds of dudes who probably keep a gun next to the toilet "just in case." In what alternate universe would they have NOT been packing heat, and NOT have shot Jake dead in a nanosecond? There were probably 100 more believable ways that this scene could have played out, but the one that actually happens just left me shaking my head.
- There were multiple parts where we could have seen the character depth/development that was so sorely lacking from this movie, but it was just one missed opportunity after another. Take the scene where Jake shows Star all the jewelry he's been "collecting" (i.e. stealing) over the years. This could have very easily been a catalyst for an argument between the characters about morals, or economic inequality, or the American value of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps," which would have been a perfect way to actually build the characters and make them seem like real people. Instead, there was nothing. It's difficult to feel invested in bland, unsympathetic characters in a movie that doesn't give you one good reason to care about them.
- I was waiting for the whole "Star getting into cars with strange men" motif to take a scary turn, which would have been super predictable but at least interesting. It never did. Not once. This isn't just unrealistic - it makes for an unbelievably boring movie. Again, so much potential for character development/conflict/new lessons learned, but every opportunity was completely wasted.
- While we're on the car thing: Okay, Star is constantly jumping into vehicles with strangers, including an actual trucker who says he's running late... and then once the particular scene is over, she's magically back with her group of sales associates all hunky dory. HOW DID SHE KEEP GETTING BACK TO THE GROUP???
What exactly was the point of this movie? What conflicts were resolved? What did the characters learn? How did they change or grow? To reiterate my original point, I just. Do. Not. Get it.
If you disliked this movie as much as I did, check out Tina Hassannia's review of it in Canada's National Post. You'll feel less alone.
The Blind Side (2009)
A made-for-TV movie that somehow wandered into the "Best Picture" category
This movie could have been interesting. We could have learned all about the issues Michael Oher had to overcome in order to get to where he is today. We could have viewed his struggles up close, seen accounts of his rough past, and caught deep insight into his personality for an intimate portrait of the obstacles that too many American children face.
Instead, the plot of "The Blind Side" went something like this: Lee Ann Tuohy is a wonderful person who does wonderful things. And some more wonderful things. And continues to do nothing but wonderful, wonderful things without any sort of real conflict, internal or otherwise. As a commenter on the message boards brilliantly put it, Michael Oher was a supporting character in his own damn story. "The Blind Side" was so self-righteous and self-congratulatory, it made me nauseous.
I could probably type forever about the problems I had with this movie, but for the sake of brevity, here are some points:
- Why didn't the screenwriter take advantage of the MYRIAD of engaging topics that could have been explored in this movie? And I don't just mean race (although I was quite disappointed by it not actually being addressed). What about the kinds of psychological issues that adopted kids face all the time? Abandonment issues? Problems adjusting to the family dynamic? Survivor's Guilt? And did anyone in the rest of the Tuohey family experience apprehension about having a complete stranger stay in their house? Was there jealousy? Sibling rivalry? Oh wait, exploring those kinds of issues would have taken time away from showcasing what a wonderful, wonderful person Leigh Ann was.
- There's a very brief part in the film where Michael runs into his estranged brother. They embrace for a long time, but we don't hear anything they say to each other. Then he disappears, never to be mentioned again for the rest of the movie. What gives? What was his story? Why hadn't Michael seen him in so long? Where was he living? Would they ever see each other again? And what about the rest of Michael's background? We're only given vague details and momentary flashes. Why don't we actually get to learn about him, his past and his personality? Oh wait, that would have taken time away from showcasing what a wonderful, wonderful person Leigh Ann was.
- Okay, one of my biggest pet peeves in film is when little kids talk like adults. As far as I'm concerned, S.J. gets the brass ring in that department. He was seriously one of the most annoying creatures I've ever, ever seen on a movie screen. I wanted to punch him in the throat the second he delivered his first spoken line.
- I understand the concept of suspended disbelief. And if this movie had been a bit better, I would have been able to do just that. But come on, do they expect me to believe that Michael's poverty-stricken drug-addicted mother was not only lucid and coherent, but had perfect alabaster-white teeth? And really, a bunch of armed-to-the-teeth gang members living in the projects were intimidated into silence by a rich white lady? Are you kidding me?
And since it's fresh in my mind...
- When compared to the caliber of performances of the other actresses, I can't believe the academy gave Sandra Bullock the Best Actress Oscar. What a joke.
Long story short (too late), stay away. Unless you enjoy vomiting.
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)
Huge disappointment
I finally saw this movie. After all the great reviews I've read/heard, I must say I'm unbelievably disappointed.
First of all, I couldn't believe how one-dimensional the characters were - they seemed like plot points rather than actual people. Wild and Crazy Idgy is wild and crazy, Shy and Submissive Ruth is shy and submissive, Mean Abusive Husband is mean and abusive. The characterizations seemed to go no further than that...how am I supposed to sympathize/identify with these people when they have no depth at all? What's worse, this movie was so predictable and contrived, and I feel like I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as each scene began. The way they kept getting that shot of the cauldron and everyone kept mentioning how good the barbecue was after Mean Abusive Husband was missing? Come ON, a post-it note could figure out what was going on. And is it wrong that I almost laughed at the cliché, tear-jerky, practically-required-by-law death toward the end?
I'm not here to only complain - I must say that I found the segments with Evelyn to be very engaging, much more interesting than the flashbacks. Maybe this would have been better if it were two different movies?
No, it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but I really don't think it deserves all the rave reviews it has on this site. Plus I think I'm extra resentful of the fact that, just because I'm a woman, I'm expected to fall hook line and sinker for this kind of dull mediocrity.
Gummo (1997)
I feel like I should've hated it.
Like most other people on this board, the "you either love it or hate it" feedback from this movie is exactly what had me so curious to see it. Well, it is now 24 hours after my first-time viewing, and I'm proud to say I stand firmly with Werner Herzog and Gus Van Sant in the "love it" camp.
Actually, scratch that - "love" is probably not the right word to use in this situation. "Gummo" isn't exactly a movie I'd pop in on a rainy Sunday, or hang up its movie poster in my living room, or quote with my friends during a late night at my local pub. But I'll say this: this movie deeply affected me. I haven't been able to think of anything else all day long; "Gummo" won't give me a moment's rest. I still can't get those completely bizarre (and sometimes downright horrifying) images out of my head...Dot moving in slow-motion with the crappy recording of the girls singing in the background...Bunny Boy shivering on the overpass...the dog impaled on top of the house...the girl tossing things into a pool of water while a distorted voice-over describes being raped...and of course the famous "spaghetti scene"...this stuff will probably stick with me for years, if not decades. (Plus I haven't been able to stop singing that "Cock A Doodle Doo" song.)
Was there a plot? Nope. Character development? Not really. Enthralling dialogue? Yeah, right. Those are usually my deal-breakers when it comes to movies...so why did I think "Gummo" was so freakin' brilliant? I'm still not 100% sure. What I do know is, like I said, it stuck with me. It kept me completely engaged, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, for the entire 90 minutes. Even with virtually no character development, every single person on screen made me FEEL something. Empathy, or pity, or just morbid voyeuristic curiosity? I really don't know. But my emotional response was off the charts, which is more than I can say for most of the "critically acclaimed" movies of recent memory. It's completely thrown me for a loop, in terms of what I usually expect to see in a film, as well as what I usually expect to LIKE in a film. Well done, Mr. Korine...I can't wait for "Mister Lonely".
Hard Candy (2005)
Worst movie I've seen all year.
I'd heard from several sources that this movie was great, and the first five-ten minutes had me really intrigued. Unfortunately it was all downhill from there. There was absolutely no character development - I didn't know a damn thing about Jeff or Hayley, so how could I sympathize with either of them? The dialogue was laughable at best - the pretentious "I'm going to break you down psychologically" garbage gets really old REALLY quickly. Also, I spent every second after Jeff wakes up tied to the chair wondering when something, anything, was going to happen. Nothing did.
Oh yeah, and what exactly was Hayley "getting revenge" on him for? He didn't do anything to her. Since when is having photos of models in one's house a castrate-able offense?
Stay away from this movie.