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Reviews
The Offer (2022)
Awesome story, laughably anachronistic dialogue
Imagine watching a movie set during the revolutionary war, and you find the story riveting. And you are really invested in the characters. And then suddenly a soldier takes out a Bic disposable razor to shave. And then suddenly you remember that it's just a movie, and that somebody missed the memo on making the movie appear to truly be set in revolutionary war times. That's what it felt like listening to the dialogue in, "The Offer".
"Love you", "love you more"
"Are we good?", "We're good"
"You got this!"
"No worries"
"We'll that was two hours of my life I'll never get back"
None of the jargon/idioms above were spoken in the early 70s. But when you watch 'the offer', you'll hear these words and other modern jargon just like it, peppered throughout every conversation. It's distracting. It's also really lazy. It's poor writing.
Having said that, the story is awesome. Matthew Goode steals every scene he is in. And if you loved "the godfather", this is 'must viewing'.
Severance (2022)
An utterly brilliant premise
How did we make it all the way to 2023 until someone finally came up with this premise, which brings with it infinite possibilities for creative brilliance? In all of those episodes of the twilight zone, Outer limits, and The X-Files, I can't believe that nobody ever stumbled upon this idea! The creators and writers of Severance didn't only come up with the idea, but they explore it brilliantly. The story and the writing is smart and nuanced. And while only one season is now in the books, I feel comfortable in saying at this point that the story never gets overly convoluted.
Take a series like, "Lost", that began with a brilliant premise, but then seemed to get carried away with itself, and overly complex, almost circular. Indigent. But Severence is never indulgent. And the writer seem to know where they are going. Nothing seems to be there for shock value.
I watched the first season in a day. And now I can't believe I need to wait a year for the second. It's going to be murder. This show is absolutely brilliant.
Physical: 100 (2023)
Massively overproduced and horribly edited
The show could have been really good. Instead, it is ruined in production and editing. The endless use of continual slow motion replay becomes absolutely nauseating. If in the middle of a competition, anyone does anything remotely interesting, you are then going to see that same thing repeated three times, once at full speed, and twice in slow motion, all from different angles.
You also can't watch one competition without continual camera shots of the other contestants, watching with their incessant commentaries, gasps, encouragement and applause. And after and before every bout, we have to hear snippets of interviews from all of the contestants, sharing with us their words of wisdom and commentaries about each other.
I really wanted to like this. The show has a great premise. And it could've been great. But finally in the middle of the third episode, I called it quits. I just couldn't stand the slow motion replays anymore.
Pepsi, Where's My Jet? (2022)
Boring and overly long
I made it a third of the way through the second episode, and just couldn't take it anymore. So I stopped watching, pulled up Wikipedia, and found out what happened.
Why do I need re-created footage of this kid doing his paper route when he was 10 years old (seriously, they did that!) Why do I need a lesson on how a Harrier jet operates, or an interview with a Harrier jet pilot? Or interview footage with the guys mother? Why? Why? Why? This whole thing could've been done in 45 minutes. But for some reason they feel they needed to stretch it out, endlessly.
It's boring. A direct result of adding all of that filler.
Chariots of Fire (1981)
Brilliant, and if you don't get it, that's on you
Simply brilliant, and beautifully done. It's rare to find a book or a movie quite like this, featuring two competing protagonist, both of whose characters are wonderfully developed, and both of whom create in the viewer genuine admiration, and the desire to see then achieve their dreams. Even when the dreams of one might necessarily conflict with the dreams of the other. I watched this movie as a teenager and I was bored. I watch it now, and I'm simply transfixed. I am amazed that this movie only has a rating of 7.1 out of 10 on IMDb. If you don't appreciate it, if you're bored, look harder. And if you're still bored, blame yourself, not the movie. Remember what Carrie Fisher's character said in, "when Harry Met Sally". Not everyone can have good taste.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Continual gut punches of ideological messaging
It starts with such promise; Interesting characters and story, wonderful foreboding. But the creators just couldn't help themselves, they had to push fundamental staples of progressive orthodoxy to the fore.
Pay close attention to the blind religious adherents (to Christianity of course), whose will and actions can and will be bent and shaped in the service of evil. And then there is the fiercely devout Christian whose ill intent and malice is cloaked behind a veneer of piety. And It's not a coincidence that the character who endlessly quotes scripture truly represents evil incarnate. But alas, there is good to be found, chiefly in the heroic Muslim, a victim of persecution and racism, who nevertheless proves himself to be courageous and virtuous. Naturally the creators figured out a way to weave into the story a gripping and heartbreaking story of post 9/11 anti-Muslim bigotry, because well, they just had to.
In truth I really enjoyed this series through the first 4 episodes, after which point the ideological messaging started to feel like a sledgehammer swung repeatedly into my gut. It became unwatchable.
Netflix will tell you EXACTLY what today's heroes and villains look like, and sound like, what you must revere, and what you must fear. Kinda like The Bible does. Religion.
Crime Scene: The Times Square Killer (2021)
Standard political fare with an unwanted history lesson to boot
Just sooooo much gratuitous commentary on the adjudication of rape cases, and violence against women, and the stigma associated with 'sex workers' (if you say 'prostitute' you are part of the problem), and sexism, and all the other bad 'isms' that are required for inclusion in documentaries these days. And it's a seemingly interminable history lesson about the history of Times Square, a history that's given twice as much time as the story of the actual serial killer, which this documentary purports to be about !
I had hoped to learn about a terrible serial killer that I had previously known nothing about. While I did, I also came away feeling like I had just sat through one of those awful HR videos that's required viewing these days. Just know that the same people who are churning out sexual harassment / diversity videos probably churned this thing out. It's more a political statement than a serial killer doc.
The Ripper (2020)
Must EVERY documentary have a social justice angle?
The incompetence of the police here was and is well documented. The story is horrifying, and riveting. There is no lack of material for an excellent documentary. And yet this one was, well, ridiculous.
The ripper only became what he was - a butcher of women - because he was reared in a society where misogyny was acceptable. No, seriously! You'll hear that.
The police were helpless. And they admitted as much. The head of the investigation candidly told women not to go out alone at night, that they would be unsafe if they did. Shocking honesty! Police were actually admitting that they couldn't protect women. And yet somehow this is sexist! The police were sexist. They were sexist to say this. No, really.
The police were convinced that the ripper hunted prostitutes. That he hated prostitutes. No, this is an oversimplification, say the critics, Rather, he preyed on women who were out alone at night, and it just so happened that the majority of these were prostitutes. So this oversimplification was sexist too. No, really.
But their supposed sexism was in no way tied to their incompetence. They were married to a theory regarding the geographic location and speaking accent of the ripper which was flatly wrong. They were horribly tunnel visioned, and their one dimensional thinking cost innocent women their lives! That should be enough for a documentary. But not today. Today I suppose if you want to get a documentary made you need some kind of social justice angle. If you can't (or won') tie in racism, or sexism, or some other in vogue ism, you may as well not even bother.
Gallipoli (1981)
cliched, but utterly brilliant, and moving
Movie snobs might have some issues with Gallipoli, as the 2 main protagonists are classic cinematic archetypes, and of course naturally perfect foils; the gullible romantic consumed with dreams of nobility and gallantry, determined to live his life by a rigid moral code, and the selfish ne'er do well, oppositely and naturally consumed only by thoughts of self. Frank (Mel Gibson) is a talented sprinter who cares little about anything but himself, but after losing a race to the immensely talented Archie (Mark Lee), the two form a friendship. The young and romantic Archie convinces Frank to enlist in the military, and both men ultimately find themselves on the bloody battlefield of Gallipoli in Turkey.
While Archie is blinded by his passion before he arrives on the battlefield, the senseless carnage he witnesses quickly disabuses him of any notions of battlefield gallantry. He knows his fate. Again, this is a bit formulaic, there's no real suspense here. This is a film with a blunt message.
So it's formulaic and predictable. And an additional problem is that it's not historically accurate, as the role of the British commanders in sending Australian troops over the top in the trenches of Gallipoli to nearly certain death is greatly exaggerated. But, it's still absolutely wonderful. Because the development of the characters is amazing, because you do are about Archie and Frank, and because the score is perfect. But mainly because of Archie. So deluded is young Archie in the beginning of the film that he seems to expect that the Kaiser himself will be marching divisions of german troops through the outback if every able-bodied young man doesn't quickly join up to do his part to stop him. He dutifully repeats propaganda without questioning it. And when he finally has a battlefield epiphany, its's too late.
Sure, there are hundreds of anti-war movies. And many are similar. But this one is one of the very best.
The Vow (2020)
Laughably long, endless filler...
The first 3 episodes are good, fascinating at times, and then of course disturbing as the camera lens focuses on the way NXVIM preys on women. And the hook is then set. And the viewer wants a resolution, and to know how the perpetrators are brought to justice, and how the victims find some peace, Not so fast. Because now begins then endless filler, and extraneous interviews and factoids. It just goes and goes and goes. The same points are made repeatedly by the same people, and then again by other people. I've never spend so much times watching people in a a documentary sitting at their laptops, or talking on the phone with each other. But the documentary producers seem so proud that they actually have film of the people at both ends of these numerous and interminable phone calls, that they feel the need to show us all of the people talking on the call. You'll be so bored you might start crying. And you'll only stop when it ends. This should be 4 or 5 episodes, tops. It's 9.