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Reviews
The Prince (2014)
Bruce Willis yells "Daddy!"
This is poorly written, poorly directed and poorly acted. If it wasn't for the f-bombs I would have thought it was a Christian movie trying to be mainstream. I knew it would be bad from the first 5 minutes as movies that have constant generic music are usually b grade films. I give it 1 star just for Bruce Willis yelling "Daddy!"
Event Horizon (1997)
Damn good sci-fi horror!
What an under-rated film. Overall the movie holds up over time. The blend of practical effects and cgi hold up decently. Obviously it is a bit dated but it doesn't scream 90's cgi and is used sparingly. There are a few story moments that feel like dated cliches, however I didn't find they detracted from the movie. This was a great sci-horror and I'm really disappointed that the studio forced Paul Anderson to cut 30 minutes out. The chaos and madness is glimpsed but never fully entered into. I guess test audiences were p*ssy's and it's too bad that we will never get the proper directors cut this movie deserves. Movie was great, the trivia is interesting, and the renaissance artwork used as inspiration is beautifully chaotic. If you like this movie give Disney's Blackhole a watch.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Not THAT bad...Alien: Final Destination
Here me out. I love the original Alien. It's one of my all time favourite films. On the other hand I was extremely disappointed with Prometheus. So when it came to Covenant I had heard all the negative press it received and I went into it with extremely low expectations. As an Alien film this is horrendous. However, if you treat this as a Final Destination film it's enjoyable. The characters are insufferable, ALL OF THEM! So instead of complaining to my wife the whole movie I decided to enjoy each death. Think about it, they survived the flare at the beginning and then the rest of the film is just death catching up with them. This way you can watch the film without cringing at all the stupid decisions people make. In the Final Destination films the stupidity is what makes it charming. Honestly though it had a few moments that were ok, but all in all it was an average sci fi movie with Alien slapped onto it. Michael Fassbender is stupendous and the only reason worth watching the movie. Ridley Scott needs to retire with his wealth and stop ruining this beloved franchise.
Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)
All style no substance...
I never go into a RE movie expecting substance, so the fact that I'm even complaining about the lack of substance shows how sad this one is. It's pretty to look at but that's it. I can't believe that they gave the fans more of the video game characters they love, as well as scenes that feel like an in game boss battle, and somehow it's an overall worse film than any of the ones before it...I literally forgot what the plot was more than once and the whole thing is as basic as possible.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
Better than people give it credit for!
Ok, hear me out. I'm a big fan of RE 1 and 2, but RE 3 fell flat for me. RE: Afterlife combined the mystery of the first and the cheesy nature of the second. I admit this is far from a masterpiece but it is more enjoyable than Extinction which took itself too seriously. There were a few moments which left me yelling "What?!" at the TV, however that is part of the fun. Have a few drinks and laugh at the outrageous nature of this movie. I was thankful that the fixed the issues of number 3 by immediately killing off the clones and removing her lame ass x-men powers. The worst aspect of the movie was Chris Redfield. I was so excited to finally have him on screen and they decided to go with Wentworth?!? His acting was quite good, I was just hoping he would have at least been jacked instead of super skinny. All in all this was lots of fun for a laugh. Don't take it seriously and it's really enjoyable.
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
Resident Evil: Xmen? Not bad, but not good either.
I looooved the first Resident Evil movie. The second one was some good cheesy fun. Extinction on the other hand? It left me confused. I was expecting the same cheesiness as #2, and while the acting was ham and over the top the more serious tone of the movie put it in a weird state that left me unsure of what to feel. It wasn't so bad I wanted to turn it off but it wasn't good enough to want to it watch again. I did like the shift to post apocalyptic mad max vibes though. It keeps it fresh that the first 3 movies all feel unique in their tone.
I also enjoyed the double kukri scene and the beginning of the birds scene which surprisingly captured the errieeness and terror of Hitchcock.
The mutant powers didn't fit in my opinion and the clones were super lame but the most egregious thing was the over the top make up. Why?!? If it was a "so bad it's good" movie I could forgive it, but they appeared to take themselves too seriously. Alice was constantly caked with foundation to the point she looked airbrushed, not to mention the younger girl as well. I am surprisingly still giving this a 7 as RE one and RE two were fresh in my mind so I may be unfairly giving this a low rating if I give it a 6.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Zombie killing cheese at its best!
The first Resident Evil movie surprised me with its mystery/thriller aspect and more serious tone. I loved it. Resident Evil 2 on the other hand is what I was expecting from the first. It's complete and utter cheese. It's so bad it's good. It's cliche, it's hokey, it's everything I thought it would be. While I wish it had followed more closely to the tone of the first film I cannot help but be thankful that this is the direction it took. If you know what you're getting yourself into than there is nothing to complain about. Valentine looks like a cosplay of a video game character. The action is over the top and the acting is ham. The cgi is a huge step up from movie 2 years previous. However, what I am most thankful for the the kick ass practical effects for Nemisis. Brilliant! Every step is heavy, you can feel the danger every time he's on screen, a proper killing machine. This is the type of movie to enjoy with a few drinks and some friends.
Resident Evil (2002)
I'm shocked by how much I enjoyed this!
I know the series as a whole gets a lot of hate, but I believe this movie as an individual film is bloody brilliant! After nearly 20 years I couldn't remember a damn thing about it, so I had the joy of watching it for the "first" time all over again. It has intrigue, suspense, terror, action and mystery. I was prepared for a fun, silly, early 2000's cheesy action movie and was surprised to find much more than that.
The only thing that loses it for me is the very dated cgi. You lose the terror in those scenes. Every time they cut back to practical effects it's much better.