patrickbivona Reviews

Dark Harvest (2023)

Made Zero Sense

[2/10 · 10 March 2024]

This movie made zero sense. Part Pumpkinhead, part The Purge set in the 1960's. This film was trying to be too many things at once, which just made it confusing and dull.

The setting in the 1960's failed terribly with bad wardrobes and set design. The acting is OK at best, except the adults...they were all absolutely terrible. This movie isn't even fun for being a bad horror movie, it's just plain bad.

The only thing decent was the Sawtooth Jack creature itself. Even if it is a ripoff of Pumpkinhead.

If you are looking for a newer creature horror movie, go watch Barbarian. Do kot waste your time on this garbage.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

I Canceled Netflix

[2/10 · 26 December 2023]

WOW!! This was awful! A complete ripoff of Star Wars: A New Hope.

This dumpster fire of a movie had zero character development, the storyline was a joke, and some of the worst acting I have seen in a long time. The only saving grace was the SFX.

But the none of the characters are likable, and even the villains are boring, ripping off WWII soldiers.

I like a lot of Sci-Fi movies, even bad ones are a least entertaining, but this is almost unwatchable. Zach Snyder has already ruined the DC Universe, and now he is trying to ruin Sci-Fi altogether. It was because of this dumpster fire of a movie, that I cancelled my Netflix account. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

What Did You Expect?

[6/10 · 30 August 2023]

If you know the story of how/why this movie was made, then there should be no surprise as to how cheesy this movie is. It's a cheap throwback/slasher movie....that's it! If you are expecting Freddy, Jason or Myers, with a decent plot and acting, then go watch those movies. This is literally a turn your brain off and watch some gore kind of movie. If you like old school slasher movies, than this is at least worth a watch. Yes, it's dumb. Yes, there is pointless nudity, Yes, the acting is bad. But so were 99% of the slasher movies from the 70's and 80's. It's just a fun/dumb popcorn movie, nothing more.

Hellraiser (2022)

Very Good Reboot

[7/10 · 9 October 2022]

If you are a fan of the original Hellraisers (1-2), you will not be disappointed. Even with an updated story, Hellraiser does not stray too far from the original, keeping the same dark atmosphere and not taking too many liberties. This new Hellraiser actually gives a little (albeit slightly different) more information about the puzzle box. It keeps you engaged pretty much the entire film without cheap jump scares or something totally over the top that is not needed. If you go into this film hoping for something completely different, you will be disappointed. However if you are looking for a good reboot and a good Hellraiser raiser film worthy of the the first two, you will be pleasantly surprised.

Resident Evil (2022)

Nope..

[3/10 · 23 July 2022]

VERY unlikable characters, terrible storylines, and even worse acting. This might be just as bad as 2021 movie. Do not waste your time. Way to kill a franchise, Netflix.

Julia (2022–2023)

HBO Changed The Story for Added Drama

[4/10 · 29 May 2022]

If anyone has read Julia's autobiography and then watched this garbage, they will immediately notice the untrue, added drama that was put in. If it weren't for Lancashire's very good performance, this would be absolutely unwatchable for anyone that is a long time fan of Julia Child.

X (II) (2022)

WOW... That was terrible.

[3/10 · 22 May 2022]

A really bad, drawn out storyline. Nothing happens until the last 30 minutes. There is nothing interesting about the characters, nor are any of them likeable. I do not recommend.

Eternals (2021)

Terrible

[3/10 · 22 January 2022]

The special effects do not make up for the awful acting, bad storyline and once again....awful acting. On top of that, it's really boring as well. Easily the worst of the Marvel movies.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

Man that sucked

[3/10 · 1 January 2022]

Terrible writing, acting, makeup and sooo boring. I really was not expecting too much, but I was at least expecting some entertainment. Just a huge letdown. Watch/rewatch the Milla Jovovich version instead, you'll be much happier.

Candyman (2021)

Absolute Garbage

[2/10 · 19 September 2021]

Not even close to the original. How can you screw up a plot from a remake? Do not waste your time, watch or rewatch the original instead.

Malignant (I) (2021)

So Bad....So terribly bad

[2/10 · 11 September 2021]

The writing is just god awful, and the acting is even worse. To top it all off....it's really boring too. P.s. Big rip-off of Steven King's The Dark Half.

The Devil Below (2021)

Terrible!!

[2/10 · 3 July 2021]

It's so bad, it's not even laughable. All around terrible; writing, acting, makeup.. Don't watch this unless you want to become really stupid.

Spiral (2021)

Chris Rock is terrible.

[6/10 · 5 June 2021]

It's an OK Saw movie, predictable but worth a watch...if you can get past Rock's acting. It's not the same without Jigsaw.

Fargo: East/West (2020) Season 4, Episode 9

A pointless mess

[3/10 · 15 January 2021]

An extremely boring and messy episode, just like most of season 4. They could have taken this episode and turned it into an additional 5 minutes added to episodes 7 or 9. Side note; Rabbi has an accent, then he doesn't, then he does, then he doesn't.

Breach (IV) (2020)

Not as bad as the reviews.

[5/10 · 20 December 2020]

It's a B-movie... what do people expect? If you like Ghosts of Mars or Pandorum, this is pretty much a rip off of those. It's entertaining enough. Yes, there are things that don't make sense, but it's a Scifi movie, they don't have to. And Bruce Willis has never been a good actor, so again... what do people expect?!

Slasher (2016–2023)

Entertaining, but terrible writing and acting.

[7/10 · 16 October 2020]

The slasher/gore factor keeps it entertaining. However the writing is so bad, it's almost comical. The acting is actually worse than the writing. The story for season 1 isn't anything original, and actually is what hurts the acting. But... if you like slashers, turn your brain off and enjoy.

The Terror of Hallow's Eve (2017)

Great potential, terrible payoff

[5/10 · 16 May 2020]

It's just entertaining enough to keep you watching. It doesn't have good payoffs like a good slasher should.

Underwater (2020)

Holy Cloverfield rip-off!!!

[3/10 · 11 April 2020]

ZERO character development. Terrible acting (which was expected). But a complete and total rip-off of Cloverfield....under water.

Knives Out (2019)

Meh... it's ok.

[6/10 · 28 February 2020]

Nothing spectacular. The acting is good, the story is ok. It's fine, not great. I'd rather watch Clue.

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)

Messy, cheap and boring.

[3/10 · 2 February 2020]

Bad writing and the story loses focus very quickly. If that was not bad enough, it's also very boring.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Well... that was disappointing

[4/10 · 25 November 2019]

Great cast, good acting, but SO BORING. An absolute pointless storyline that goes nowhere.

Doom: Annihilation (2019)

What a waste...zombies?

[3/10 · 10 November 2019]

A bad combination/rip off of Alien and Resident Evil. Bad acting, writing and directing. Don't pay to see this movie, wait until it's free.

American Horror Story: Camp Redwood (2019) Season 9, Episode 1

If you're going to rip off other shows, do it right.

[3/10 · 24 October 2019]

I know everyone is trying to do some type of Stranger Things, 80s style.. but this is awful. Ripping off classic slasher films (badly) and terrible writting, which makes the actors bad (which they are not). I can't tell if this is supposed to be campy or serious or both. Either way, it's bad.

3 from Hell (2019)

Zzzzz From Hell

[4/10 · 20 October 2019]

Nothing new or original. Just a boring, retread of a story. At keast the acting is decent.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Sooooo Boring.

[2/10 · 13 October 2019]

Easily the worst of the Annabelle movies. So boring and cliche. Just an utter disappointment.