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henryahoy
Reviews
Falling for Figaro (2020)
No, Bad Actually
The key to an enjoyable rom-com, no matter how escapist, are likeable characters. Millie is not likable. I know she's following her dream so I am supposed to root for her, but my god she learnt nothing on her journey. Who the hell has the money to quit their job, stay in a room in a pub for a year at 45 pounds a night (16,000 pounds!!!) plus lesson fees & meals? There wasn't a singing coach anywhere in London, you know - where the theatres are!! But even if you set that aside, I hoped when she explained to the Scottish locals that her high paying, supportive environment job "wasn't fulfilling" & the supportive boyfriend she left in London she'd learn something about how lucky she was, but nope. She goes from zero to contest finalist without ever overcoming anything, learning anything, sacrifing anything. She got what she wanted because she had the money to buy it, that's the lesson for all us losers. I love Hugh Skinner, I watched this largely because he was in it but if his character had turned out to be a serial killer I would not have been surprised. Why is he so surly & miserable? Why does he fall for Millie? Their interactions are all barbed & then they're making out & then he's proposing? PROPOSING??? She's an entitled cheater & he's a secret serial killer, this was not a pleasant relationship to watch. But Scotland is just so damned beautiful it salvaged some enjoyment, and the pub owner is so charming he also helps claw this back from the void. Give him a sequel where he gets the girl. He was lovely.
Scandal (2012)
The world has changed a lot since 2012
If this had had an end game from episode 1 and only had 3, maybe 4 tight seasons I think it would have been fantastic. That first season of 7 episodes is so tight it's genuinely compelling. But the next season is a rambling 22 episodes so the core story has to make room for twists and turns to provide more plot to pad the season. After a couple of years of that, the core story - what happens when a president is torn between what he sees as his duty vs his actual dream of a simple life with the woman he loves - that story drowns in the melodrama of having to fill 22 episodes.
Also, I get that some stories are iconic and they have a place in the viewers heart that can't be reached by changing social standards. I love Indiana Jones & I know it's problematic but my 1980's self doesn't care. I started watching Scandal in 2023 & this strong woman Olivia Pope seems always to be either yelling orders, on the verge of tears, letting people who have threatened & betrayed her back into her life for more drama. This is not a woman I would want to be friends with. I understand she is other people's Indiana Jones, but I met her in 2023 sooo, I see a woman who needs some friends and a holiday.
The chemistry with President Fitz holds the show together. The Season 1 set up was so powerful I invested in that relationship.
But Fitz is actually a bit of a tool by modern standards.
1. His any outbursts at his wife, the demeaning way he talks to her & mocks her intelligence & disregards her counsel?? I don't like Mellie but my god she is brilliant & equal to him in every professional way
2. He slept with a campaign advisor and then a White House staffer while married with kids
3. He's jealous, spies on Olivia, gets angry, is always making a move on her even when she says no, if he sees her at functions he stares at her like a serial killer & all this is framed as passion. In 2023 we know this kind of "passion" ends with a dead woman and a man saying 'look what you made me do'.
4. I don't think he's very good at his job. We're told he's brilliant but I don't recall much brilliant presidenting.
Tony Goldwyn is just so goddam charismatic he sold it. And Kerry Washington is such a powerhouse she sold it. But in real life I don't think Fitz or Olivia would be people you'd want to have to deal with.
I think the story really worked when it was against a backdrop of episodic adventures for Olivia Popes firm but once the plot became swamped by conspiracies and intrigue and spies and betrayals there was just too much plot and the core story didn't survive that.
Almighty Thor (2011)
Do I have Covid? Was this a fever dream? Do I need a doctor or was this the crime against humanity and art I think it was?
I'm about 30 minutes in and Oh My God. The chick from The Mummy is in it, not the librarian, the other one. It's Norse mythology and she's Venezuelan. And the dude who took Johnny Depp's job on 21 Jump St 40 years ago is also in it. He looks like his crack dealer is threatening to start cutting off his toes. The budget for this hellscape was $200,000 so he can't have been paid much, but you know, bills. It has the feel of a fan film but the fandoms switched projects because these idiots don't know what the hell they are acting out. There is the best scene I've ever seen in my life though where to portray a medieval village under attack they have literally, I kid you not, drawn a village on a piece of cardboard and there are little bits of real fire burning through it. Like the people who made the TV show Merlin are looking at this and going "Man, that is sh#t". So bad. Just sooo bad. You are going to question what you are doing with your life when it's over. It will haunt you.
Christmas in the Highlands (2019)
Bad. Very bad.
People are complaining about the English accents but that's actually pretty accurate because the aristocracy don't speak with a Scottish accent, that's for the peasants. So, apart from that just a few things:
1. A stupid, stupid story
2. Who did their makeup? I swear they shot this in one day because Blaire's makeup never changes and looks like the makeup she arrived in to the shoot.
3. Who did their hair? Please invest in some leave in moisturiser. Why did Blaire's boss have hair on day 2 that looked like she'd just pulled herself up from sleeping under the desk?
4. Who did the lighting? There are YouTube channels with better production values.
5. What was with the long chocolate shop promo in the middle?
6. Why did the lead actress hold her body and head at such unnatural angles so often?
7. Why did the director let her say everything with that snarky twinge of sarcasm? Why in god's name would that guy fall in love with this?
8. And Alistair is not the Earl, his father is the Earl. He will not be Earl until his father dies.
9. And for what reason does the housekeeper care about Blaire? Was the housekeeper pranking Blaire when she gave her that ex-rental blue dress? It didn't fit her and the nude coloured material was a different colour from her skin.
I think we all hung in there to see Scotland and they needed much, much more Scotland to make this worth it.