trustyourforce Reviews

Terror Train (2022)

Lazy and Unnecessary

[1/10 · 24 October 2022]

The original is a pretty standard slasher beyond its gimmick and predictable villain. I always thought the magic thing was weird. At least they got David Copperfield.

This is one is basically the same. The first 90% is one for one. The only difference is the final twist which you can figure out because they stole it from another classic slasher movie.

They just added the most blatant, cheap modernizations possible: a more diverse cast, social media, selfies, dropping trendy terms like "polyamorous", "snowflake", "canceled" etc...

The "Boy Who Cried Wolf" thing doesn't work after the 5th time.

Slumber Party Massacre (2021)

I don't know whom this movie is for.

[1/10 · 9 September 2022]

The original was one of the better slashers to during the big flood of slashers in the 70s/80s.

They sort of over corrected when they modernized this. I don't if they were trying to be meta like Scream. For example they tried to subvert the "male gaze" troupe but ended up making it oddly homoerotic.

The daughter of a previous final girl gets with her friends to set up a trap to get the original Driller Killer by faking a stereotypical slasher movie set up. Which could've been a good twist if handled better or not in a remake, like Jason Goes to Hell. But then there's a twist of the killer's mom avenging his death but I had stopped caring before that.

This could've worked if it was an original movie or at least done with much more subtlety.

This seems to have similar issues to the movies such as the most recent Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

If you want a horror remake/reboot done right check out Evil Dead or the newest Halloween movies (not Rob Zombie's).

The Runner (I) (2022)

Not a movie. Not horror.

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

Apparently Shudder has gotten looser with its definition of horror movie.

It's basically a long music video that cuts to documentary/behind the scenes with some band no one has ever heard of.

The last 5 minutes are some awkward white kid singing and dancing in front of the camera.

Frightvision (2020)

Knockoff knockoff Elvira

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

Horrible effects, bad acting, terrible stories.

They couldn't even get a set for their Elvira wannabe. She just sits in front of a curtain. She also can't pick a country for her accent.

Housewife (II) (2017)

Shock over story

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

Another movie where I don't know what the plot was. Seriously, it was just trying to be shocking instead of actually telling a story. Another terrible Lovecraft attempt.

Hunted (IV) (2020)

Mixed messages

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

This movie seems to have an identity crisis. Half of it is over the top feminism and fighting toxic masculinity. The other half is a more traditional (bad) horror movie. The end result won't please anyone.

Dogtooth (2009)

This movie is just as f-ed up as people say it is

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

I read the reviews about how messed up this movie is. I wish I had heeded the warnings. I can't unsee this movie. Stay away unless you're an indie arthouse nut.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Arthouse dreck

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

It's painfully slow and full of itself. It could've been a good movie if remade. Fast forward to see Scarlett Johansson naked and move on with your life.

Root Cause (2019)

A movie by people who think they understand science

[1/10 · 12 July 2022]

This is a bunch of holistic pseudoscience bs. Get your medical advice from credible real medical professionals. By the way, I'm not a dentist so I'm not part of some conspiracy to discredit this movie.

Private Lessons (1981)

I felt like I was going to get arrested watching this

[1/10 · 8 July 2022]

The kid supposed to be 15 but he looks and sounds like he's 12. It also seems like he came up with the plot. Someone is trying to blackmail the maid into committing pedophilia to get back at his boss or something, I don't know.

Harvest Lake (2016)

My mistake: ignoring the bad reviews

[1/10 · 8 July 2022]

90% of this movie is people taking about sex and having sex but not in a good way. The horror part starts with 10 minutes left with some boob shaped fruit that brainwashes people. Then the 5 people dive into the bottom of the lake and have sex a lovecraftian monster. And that's it. There's zero explanation of anything and zero reason to watch this.

The Curse of La Patasola (2022)

Don't bother

[2/10 · 8 July 2022]

The first 30 minutes are about how horrible two of the characters are and how much they hate each other. But for some reason they want to cheat on their partners. Instead of setting the movie in Latin America, they had to find a way to shoehorn in this legend. I don't even really remember what happened once the movie actually got to the horror part.

Us (II) (2019)

Overrated

[2/10 · 7 July 2022]

This movie has some good points: the overall idea is good, the final twist is good and there are a few good freaky moments. But it's too long, the pacing is horrible, some plot points are way over explained while others aren't explained at all. Sorry I didn't understand all of the deep symbolism. Calling Jordan Peele a "horror master" is quite the over exaggeration.

Cemetery Man (1994)

100% style over substance

[1/10 · 7 July 2022]

This movie prioritizes being stylish over having an actual plot. People seem to be pretentious about this movie being "art". I guess the plot revolves around this guy killing zombies in an Italian cemetery while chasing this woman who keeps getting reincarnated or has a bunch of identical siblings or something. He has this Quasimodo like assistant who falls in love with the zombified head of a girl. There's a lot of just weird moments and dialogue. The movie ends with the plot twist from St. Elsewhere.

Homewrecker (I) (2019)

I believe this was an attempt at a black comedy

[1/10 · 1 August 2021]

I've seen the main actress in some very good horror movies. This is not one of them. The villain is neither scary nor entertaining. This music is bizarre and distracting. The characters make so many stupid decisions. I watched it on the Shudder app which seems to have picked up a habit of deleting bad reviews. It's not even worth watching to make fun of.