christinedesler Reviews

May (2002)

Remarkable...

[7 June 2004]

I don't know really how to say this movie is good or bad. It's a very cheesy film in a great many ways, and many would figure it was bad. It's like someone who doesn't understand Broadway theatre trying to critique it. That's what I've seen done here to this movie. People who don't understand black comedy mixed with horror ... It's not a movie that takes itself completely seriously.

The movie struck me as interesting because of the supposedly plain jane main character, May, who has had no friends her entire life growing up, except for this doll that her mother made her. Yet she isn't even allowed to touch the doll, so when she grows up she has no attachments, no social skills, and is most definately unable to have normal interactions with others because of her lack of physical detachment as well as her emotional ones. Then of course the typical happens. She becomes obsessed with this one man - actually his hands! She knows so little about how a relationship works that her confused mind is easily manipulated and confused by a movie he shows her, and she takes this movie as truth and what should be... that's how I took it anyways. Then the girl is betrayed, again and again by different people in her life. She loses her only friend, and then goes pschyco!

I do have to say one thing, though. I completely do not understand the ending, and I wished that they had extended the plot at least five minutes further. I don't know if the girl went completely nuts for the ending to occur (I mean obviously she's a maniac but is what we see on screen really happening in the last thirty seconds or is it her imagination?)

I don't know why people keep saying this is some sort of a Frankenstein rip-off. Victor Frankenstein was out to create a better breed of human. A creature that would not grow ill, get sick, or die. May, however, merely wants to create herself one perfect life-sized doll out of the perfect PARTS of imperfect people ... sewing the parts together and not once trying to bring it to life herself. By the end of the movie, she has clearly lost it. I mean, the girl talked to her toy doll the whole movie so she was never really all there anyways.

Anywho, all in all a great little movie if you can get past it's little idiosyncracies and quirks. The movie is not for those who might not have unstable minds! Yet still, I'd reccomend anyone to at least give it a chance. The acting is pretty decent for a B movie, much more than some Full Moon movies - and I LOVE Full Moon films! Sorry for rambling everybody! I hope you enjoy it and if you don't - that's your business! Ok? Tata!

Return (I) (1985)

Oh WOW!

[17 August 2003]

Ok, so it ISN'T movie of the year! But this short film is absolutely ASTONISHING! I wish I could explain it! I simply find it one of the greatest little movies in the world! The girl finds out a shrink of some sort has regressed this hunk of a guy into a past life, her grandfather's!!!!! She wants to unravel the truth about his past life, and romance ensues! Talk about wonderful confusion! Watch it!

Maytime (1937)

Nelson never fails.

[28 April 2003]

The first time I ever heard the name Nelson Eddy was in a Michael Crawford In Concert CD. Since then I have seen "The Phantom of the Opera" in which his starred... but I didn't recognize him as a performer in the least... not until I saw this movie. "Maytime" is my all time favorite movie with Jeanette McDonald and Nelson Eddy. It's closely followed by "New Moon", and I have seen a couple others. Yet "Maytime" has more going for it than just the heart throb known as Nelson Eddy!

The plot is simple. Girl has fiance. Girl meets new guy. Girl falls in love but marries first guy. Years pass. Girl and guy meet again ... and the rest will be history to only those whom have seen it! I could never give away the ending. All I can say is that the music in this movie is absolutely amazing, and I always come so terribly close to crying. I'm not a cryer, so to say I get CLOSE is a good sign. I have bawled to it before!

John Barrymore, Drew's grandfather <?> is a wonderful anti-villain. He's a good guy who just happens to be a terrible protagonist, and he does something so horrible that you hope his Niccolai Nazaroth burns in hellfire for eternity. Yet he's such a terrific 'villain'. The one and only thing I have against this film is that it's in b&w. I wish beyond all wishing that it were in color, so I could see his gorgeous eyes and blonde hair!

Believe me, this is a good movie.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Finally, a modern horror movie that works.

[25 March 2003]

Some reviews on this site completely bomb the movie, yet many others like myself see it for what it really is. We go from two sisters completely obsessed with each other, and death, to being complete opposites... one domineering and mocking... the other one just clinging to the past and what her sister used to be like. If you've read the summary, you already know it's mostly because one of them gets bitten by a WEREwolf and turns into a complete sex-and-flesh-hungry maniac! Well, anyways, I thought that this movie was absolutely great. The girl who played "Brigette" was amazing, and I'm glad to see she's still in movies other than "It" and the Farah Faucette movie (That was her, wasn't it?)... Although some things are completely out of it -- I personally didn't like the rauncy werewolves -- it makes a lot of ethical sense. It talks about coming-of-age through menstruation... about drugs... about folklore ... about family... generation gaps... sex. It is a movie about anything and everything, and I think it's absolutely hilarious that "Ginger" passes on the werewolf 'virus' through sex with another guy who starts pee-ing blood in High School, and walks around with a red blotch on his pants! It was funny! The stereotypical -- but very known in EVERY high school -- princess popular bitch is absolutely ... bitchy! Anyways, before I start making even LESS sense, this is a good movie -- but rent it and decide for yourself!

Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001 Video)

An all right movie if it stands by itself

[10 March 2003]

I mostly wanted to respond to a review to this movie I just read. I'm a fan of the first movie. I have it on DVD, and never tire of it at all. Yet the review to this movie I just read completely bashed it and said it has no scares in it. I've been watching horror for MOST of my 20 years, and this movie gave me the creeps. Then again, I DID deliberately wait until 11 at night to watch it in the dark, so that added to the atmosphere. But it's not without it's horrific charm. Maybe it isn't a great Children of the Corn movie -- God knows the Second one stinks in comparison to the first, and the fourth one is pretty good. Yet this movie still stands a chance at good reviews if you don't compare it.

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

A terrific movie!

[12 January 2003]

I've just read another review that says Dudley Moore wasn't an incredibly likable character, and I have to completely disagree! I have watched this movie nearly every single year... as I have the VHS, and it's one of the most terrific X-mas movies out there -- other than "Christmas Story", "A christmas Carol" (any version), and "The Night they Saved Christmas". I've watched this since I was a very little girl, and I always loved the character Joe. I think I might have had the tiniest crush on him, even! The man who plays Santa is amazingly wonderful, and he's definately the type of guy that a kid would just love to leap onto the lap of... and to take comfort and confidence in. As this Santa befriends a young homeless boy who has absolutely nothing and no one else... until both he and Santa meet the daughter of an extrodinarily rich and disasterously greedy culprit of a businessman ... of course he's the grandfatherly figure we all dream of having! He's beyond any other Santa I've ever EVER seen -- he even beats Mickey Rooney (though Granted Mickey was only Santa in those lovely little 'cartoons'.)

Anyhow, this is a great movie with a beautiful soundtrack, great actors, nice though not particularly wonderful sets, effects that were passable for the year they were made, and most definately a touching and memorable plot. It's for all ages, and I definately reccomend it.

Puss in Boots (1988)

Christopher Walken singing and dancing!?!?

[6 January 2003]

Now don't get me wrong, I loved this movie as a child. I remember even being impressed by the songs "You're looking at a happy cat", and "Go to sleep, my friend", both sung by Christopher Walken. I was even impressed by the singing. I know a LOT better know as an adult, but I still watch the movie. It's terrifying yet wonderul to watch if you're a child, and it's a true classic!

Snow White (1987)

marvelous version!

[6 January 2003]

This story most closely depicts the origional Grimm Farie Tale as we know it. It has the apple, the corsett, and the comb! It has the seven little men, it has snow white, it has the hunter, it has the father... it's only missing one SINGLE tiny thing... the fact that Snow White's MOTHER, and not her STEP mother, is the one that wanted her dead. Then again, that's EVERY version that I've ever seen... unless the Disney version was the right way there. Don't remember. Anyhow, my favorite part of the movie is "Billy Barty". He is in SO MANY of my movies, I can pick out his voice like THAT. *Snaps*. Sure, he's only one of 7 adorable men, but still... and a couple of the songs are so precious. Not the absolutely best of the Cannon Films, but one of my long time favs.

Sleeping Beauty (1987)

Good movie

[6 January 2003]

Now I can't imagine Kitty from "Cocoon" as being Rosebud anymore, she just barely seems like the same woman... but this is a pretty good film. I loved it as a kid, and the Red Fairy ... needless to say... scared the bejeezus out of me. The prince in the end has such a small role that it's pathetic -- but I love the little people. This version I dislike the most out of the Cannon Tales as an adult, but I still adored them as a child.

Rumpelstiltskin (1987)

Amy Irving sings????

[6 January 2003]

Not really *LOL* but I do like her opening song. The rest kind've stink, and only Billy Barty is really good in it... but he's good in everything! Definately for children. They'll love it! If you have children, and you aren't sure whether the story is too scary for them or not, just sit with them in your arms and let them bury their face in your shoulder. They'll never need you to sit with them again!

Red Riding Hood (1987)

Great musical, awesome acting!

[6 January 2003]

Remember Craig T. Nelson, folks? "Polgergiest"? What about Isabella Rosilini? "Merlin" "Death Becomes her". And how about the wonderful lady who plays Linette in this story? I have her "Little Princess" film -- very long but fun. Anyhow, I thought this movie was just the bomb. I loved every single song. "Green in the Blue", "Night..." "A man without a heart", "Good Little Girls"... I just loved them ALL! "You should never talk to strangers" is my favorite song, and absolutely the moral of the whole story. I think everyone does a marvellous acting job. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

Hansel and Gretel (1987)

Great Movie

[6 January 2003]

I think this is a great movie from the Cannon Theatre... but you might want to keep it away from extremely young kids. it scared me so badly that even today, at 19, I have to fast forward through scenes. There are things that just scar you ... ya know? Grizelda the Witch was more terrifying than the Witch of the West in "Wizard of Oz". All around, a very good farie tale, but not my favorite out of the series.

Beauty and the Beast (1987)

My favorite!

[6 January 2003]

I have always loved Farie Tales, and this is my all time favorite, and I have them all. "The Frog Prince" with Aileen Quinn and Helen Hunt. "Puss N' Boots" with Christopher Walken. "Hansel and Gretel", "Rumplestiltskin", "Snow White", "Sleeping Beauty", "Pinnochio". A couple of those are done by Farie Tale Theatre, but I love the Cannon tales more than anything on earth. With Rebecca de Mornay singing, I never would have imagined she could btw, it's astounding. The cinametogrophy is great, and the script is wonderful. I'm 19, and even my father willingly watches this with me. He says, and I agree, that it just seems so real... and he's not that kind of guy at all!!! John Savage is the most terrific beast I could imagine... other than in the French movie "Beaute et Le Bete" or whatever it's called *lol*. It's an even better version than the Disney Cartoon, which is also one of my favorites. I hope that whoever sees this film on sale buys it (and sends it to me, I need a not worn out one!!!) and cherishes it forever!

The Convent (2000)

Not worth finishing...

[4 January 2003]

Usually I don't try and tell people NOT to see a movie. We all have different tastes, and someone might actually like a film I hate. I already saw a review title which gave this movie a good vibe. In my opinion they are WRONG. I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't warn you about how incredibly disappointed you'd be!!!!!!! Lousy special effects, a bad script, a crappy story line... and the fact that you can't even recognize David Gunn..... that just was too much to handle!!!!! The plotline could've worked if they just hadn't totally BLOWN it from the very beginning... seriously... I only rented it because David Gunn was in it, and he turned out to have such a bad role that it made me run into the bathroom and bow to the porcelain god. He was far better in "Vampire Journals". Then again, he was the hero in that movie. In this one he's a fasletto-ed nobody who thinks he's somebody! Seriously, stay away from this movie!

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Nice and Cool!

[27 December 2002]

Gah!!! This movie was the total BOMBSHELL I never expected it would be! Go see it NOW!!!! It is so awesome! I only have one complaint about it ---- NOT ENOUGH GANDALF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow... there's plenty of the Creature Gollum to substitute. He's definately my favorite character. Who would have thought a plot so grim could be made so funny? It's a movie that leaves your sides aching at parts. The Comedy relief is definately needed at some points, and it's such a stress reliever. As I said, Gollum is my favorite. I can't help it. He has the funniest part. He sings, talks to his "evil" side, and argues about how Sam and Frodo shouldn't ruin a rodent by putting it in a stew. "Give it to me raw" he says somewhere in there. And why not? He is a creature after all!

In all seriousness, go see the movie!!!!!!!

Red Dragon (2002)

Soooooo cool!

[10/10 · 5 October 2002]

"Man Hunter" was a total bombshell. A total fluke. Red Dragon is the exact opposite! I'm sure I may be a little biased. I saw both "Silence of the lambs" and "hannibal" before I saw "Man hunter", and the fact that Anthony Hopkins is in this one certainly had something to do with my insistency on seeing this movie opening weekend *Grins*

This movie has everything the first one didn't. Top-rate acting, a true feeling of suspense, and just more LECTER!!!!!!!!!

There are such funny parts. Such as Hannibal trying to make a joke about what is in some certain food he's made fot the board of the Philamonic orchestra... and then of course in the end where doctor Chilton tells Hannibal he has a certain female visitor. Oh, I hope that everyone goes out and loves it as much as I did! The adds were right. I didn't have high hopes for this movie, but seeing it with another Lecterfile certainly helped me a bit. It was so much more than I expected, I am more than pleasantly surprised.

Legend (1985)

Wow - what a cut!

[29 September 2002]

I just bought the directors cut last night! It is so spectacular -- although I am so used to the Tangerine Dream score that the alternate one was a vague disappointment. Oh it didn't disturb me -- the music itself. It was when music was MISSING ALTOGETHER for certain parts of the movie where the Tangerine Dream score added to the atmosphere was the disappointment. The only REAL disappointment in the original score was the difference between the scores in the "Dancing Dress" Scene. That was IT!!!!!

Out of the different movie openings, I like the "Mother Night" Monologue far more than Tim's other monologue. Yet that's about all that's really different. Blix sounds different in it too so it's odd and throws you off, but not big time. The part that I really liked was where -- in the directors cut -- Lily asks Jack to teach her Rabbit. She seems so ... I don't know the word of it! But it's a great deal of fun! She's just snappy! At least her voice is. I can't believe she's only fifteen.

If you have the chance to see the directors cut, I think it would be an intense experience for the fans out there. This movie kicks butt no matter which version you look at. Give it a try!!!!

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

"Gina..."

[20 September 2002]

I noticed a lot of reviewers had quotes from the movie for titles. Anyway......

I just saw this movie for the second time. It still scars the be-jesus out of me. I'm sorry, it wasn't half as scary as the first time I saw it.... it was the very first movie I deliberately rented out of the horror movie section of my video rental store. (I owned and watched others but didn't know they were horror at the time). For a 9 year old kid to watch ROLD is terrifying. At 19, maybe it's just remembering how terrified I was. Yet I usually don't watch movies about zombies and brains and stuff. Vampires, sure. But Vampires are sensual! The second one I couldn't watch at all, just because of the memories, and the third one had little reminiscince to this movie, and was good but not terrifyingly scary.

This is one of the greatest scary movies I've seen ...... although I haven't seen many of the 'classics'. Most people tell me something is a classic and I think otherwise. But I'll give them a chance too.

Anyway this movie kicks butt!

The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Cute...

[25 July 2002]

I rented this movie last night because I finally found the official website for "Dance of the Vampires" ... the Musical that Michael Crawford will be starring in come November (2002). I already read the summary on that website, but I wanted to know more of the plot, so I went to rent "Fearless" with high hopes. Although I can't say I'm disappointed, I guess I can just say it didn't entirely live up to my expectations.

I knew it was going to be comedy -- and I'm not much for comedy. Yet the ideas these people had for comedy were, for the most part, mild and vague, and to me there wasn't much slapstick. I liked that the most, that there wasn't disgusting slapstick. There were simply real good and funny moments where I said "Figures" or "Typical"... I can only say that I wish I could see a more dramatic version of the story... and hopefully if I go see the musical, it will suit my tastes better.

But on the whole, I truly did like the movie. I thought that the Count was well played (Michael will still do better, I say! *lol*) ... and the character of his son was funny. I haven't seen too many movies that came out in the 60's, but I was surprised that they would have a more homosexual character like that... then again, I'm always surprised when Hollywood makes teeny risks like that.

The Lost Boys (1987)

One of the ultimate vampire flicks

[9 May 2002]

This is without a doubt one of THE greatest Vampire movies of all time!

Forgive me, but I am speaking from the point of view of a young woman... but how could you ever get any hotter than this? Young, hot little men with fangs... and for God's sake! Kiefer Kiefer Kiefer! My ultimate favorite vampire (outside of the Anne Rice series at least) in the world! I don't like giving away much of this movie. But it was well plotted, it's funny, and it's about VAMPIRES!! How could anyone go wrong? Especially with a great soundtrack!

Manhunter (1986)

The book would probably be better but the movie is horrible

[6 May 2002]

I saw this movie not too long ago. I have to give credit to the film for the fact that I saw both Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal before hand, and so naturally I was exceedingly unhappy with the Hannibal in this movie. The plot wasn't even what I'd been lead to believe.

(To me - for some simillarities are uncanny except for the obvious things) Silence of the Lambs couldn't have been more simillar if two different people had written the story. I don't think that I liked the acting, and I certainly disliked the plot. Still, I'll see the remake with Anthony when it's out. I'll give the plot another chance. But not the man who played Lector.

Once Upon a Forest (1993)

One word -- no two words -- MICHAEL CRAWFORD

[10 March 2002]

I have to say it... the only reason I have this movie (or should I say the only reason I KEEP this movie) is because Michael Crawford does a characters voice in it... and he SINGS!!!!!!!! *Giggles* Alright so I'm not going to talk about the movie to bash it or praise it because it's a kids movie and it should be up to them to review this movie properly. They are the target audience, after all.

But how can you go wrong? Anyone who is touched by music as remotely hard as I am would have tears at least slightly threatening them during his song. needless to say, I love MC, and that is why I would recommend this movie - but hye, I'm bias!

Audrey Rose (1977)

A stunning movie that has to grow on you.

[7/10 · 25 February 2002]

I think that Audrey Rose is a spectacular little movie that for very vague reasons has little resemblances to "the Exorcist". A girl with problems that her parents don't want to accept - at least, not at first. Then there's Anthony Hopkin's and his character... very believable and tragic. How often does one see Anthony playing a character who is most of the time showing his grief for losing his family (which of course has faded in the light of his new beliefs). I'm trying not to give too much of the movie away... but this movie has the most interesting 'trial' I've ever seen!!!! If I think of more, I may need to post again sometime.

The Phantom of the Opera (1998)

A fun gross out

[13 September 2001]

I believe that this version of Phantom of the Opera is one of the most unique ideas I've seen -- and believe me, I've seen a lot. I had to special order this movie just to satisfy my curiosity about it!

Phantom of the Opera - with Julian Sands - is a remarkable movie, despite it's outrageous amount of downfalls such as cheesy script. Yet there are several very good points which I will not get into at the moment. I adore the costumes for this movie - such as the overweight Carlotta's dresses. If a smaller woman were wearing the same style dress, it would look like it belonged on a Goddess...

Yes, Phantom of the Opera has it's major downfalls such as a lousy script, completely needless gore, and even over-dramatized scenes. Yet one of the only reasons I bought this film - other than the fact that it was titled Phantom of the Opera - was because of Julian Sands. It isn't his fault that he got a lousy script for a film that could've been done better.

I recommend that if you have not seen Julian Sands in any of his other films, then watch Warlock, Gothic, or any other number of his films. He is a spectacular actor when given the chance... and cute too!