paul-2878 Reviews

The Royal Bodyguard (2011–2012)

so very sad

[1/10 · 3 January 2012]

Watching David Jason on The One Show recently, he was congratulated on his ability to spot a great script; one that produced a character the British public would take to their hearts such as Del Boy, Granville, Pop Larkin, Frost and the like. When asked if The Royal Bodyguard would follow suit he seemed almost embarrassed and gave a rather mumbling response inferring that he hoped so.

Clearly he knew what has become clear to all after just two episodes. This is quite possibly the lamest, least funny, most predictable and generally cringe-worthy "comedy" i have ever had the misfortune to suffer. The first episode was dire. More out of curiosity than anything else we gave the second episode a viewing; if anything it was even worse than the first. The thought of another four episodes is sheer purgatory and they will be avoided at all costs.

It is so very sad that one of our most cherished and respected actors in the fields of both comedy and drama finds himself as the central figure in such banal rubbish. I sincerely hope that he finds another, more suitable vehicle to banish all memories of The Royal Bodyguard to the scrapheap...............and soon. It would be a terrible shame for this shambles to to be remembered as his final offering.

The oft repeated Fools and Horses episodes never looked so good. Mind you, On The Buses looks good compared to this tripe!

Apocalypto (2006)

Just enjoy the adventure

[9/10 · 9 January 2007]

Why are some people so obsessed with historical accuracy or the deep messages the film is trying (or not) to portray? This is just a damn good adventure yarn and should not be treated as anything else.

From the opening scene i was totally engrossed in the film. The fact that there were no major stars in the cast and also that it was subtitled instead of using accented English made it far more realistic, and the two hours or more simply flew by.

The atmosphere builds and builds, and the last 40 minutes or so are breathtakingly relentless as the picture nears its climax. It would have been easy to tone down the violence and make this a 15, or even a 12, but somehow that would have detracted from the spectacle as a whole; having said that, it is nowhere near as violent or gruesome as some have made out and i would certainly not class it as gratuitous in any way - instead it just gives the viewer a rather more extreme take on the hero v villains scenario which is really the core of the entire adventure.

Just go and enjoy Apocalypto for what it is. If you are looking for deep cultural enlightenment then you are wasting your time, but if you want good, honest, edge-of-the-seat entertainment with a decent spattering of blood and guts then it will be right up your street.