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Reviews
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
It already has me hyped for the next trilogy in the series!
I just got home from watching this and it was superb.
The story is great (which is expected when it comes to these movies) and it does a great job at connecting the audience with the new protagonist now that we no longer have Caesar. I'd be lying if I said I went in fully excited to get to know and love a new main character because Caesar was incredible but I can see the little seeds being planted throughout the film that will make Noa an excellent addition to the planet of the apes universe.
The cinematography is brilliant and so are the actors/actress. They really gave life to the characters.
I usually don't mention sound in my reviews but with recent films lacking a good balance this seemed balanced really well, I didn't find myself asking "what did he just say". I wouldn't recommend going to the IMAX to watch it though as it's not really enhanced for the IMAX and the seats are usually less comfortable compared to the normal showings (Vue)
Civil War (2024)
WOW! I was not expecting that
What can I say, I'm a simple man I saw a movie advertised about civil war and instantly got excited. I went in expecting nothing but carnage and a gta lobby on the big screen but I was met with an emotional journey and a cinematic masterpiece.
I won't lie though I was totally caught off guard and I'm not sure if I was ready to experience the themes and messages it highlighted so I think I will definitely have to give it a second watch to fully take it all in and absorb what I'm watching.
That being said the acting is brilliant all around and I can definitely see some awards being handed out for every actor involved. The cinematography is amazing too, there are some great shots to take in... Literally.
Festival of the Living Dead (2024)
Did AI write this script?
I absolutely hated this film, the premise and the setting was great and it could've been something amazing to kick off the resurgence of the night of the living dead universe but it fell short.
The characters are so unlikeable that it's hard to root for anyone in the film, they all seem to hate eachother too which kept me asking "why are they even together?" And whether or not the script was written by the AI prompt "stupid gen z kids try to survive a zombie attack and add fu**ing into every other sentence"
Honestly it was really bad and I'm kinda annoyed I wasted my time watching it when I should've known better.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
Awesome
Maybe I'm just nostalgic for a time I didn't exist in but I absolutely loved this film but that could probably be because I love anything set in the 80's, it seemed like a great decade to be alive.
I loved the vibe of the films and the comedy aspects and I'm hoping this amounts to more and more films in the same settings release.
The cast was great and all played their parts well, Kathryn Newton stood out as Lisa and had me rooting for her throughout the movie.
Lisa Frankenstein has now been put into my Halloween movie rotation and I'll look forward to watching it every year.
Here's hoping we get a sequel and many more.
Bob Marley: One Love (2024)
Turtle bay version of Bob Marley
You know what I can't say I didn't enjoy it because obviously it was full of absolute bangers made by Bob Marley but I gotta say it was really hollow and it only really focused on his music. It seems as though they left a lot out from his personal life and especially his beliefs and message he wanted to put out into the world which is really a weird thing to do as his character mentions it throughout the film.
This makes it seem like the writers of the film didn't even understand his message and just wanted a quick bob Marley cash grab which is a shame because Bob Marley is so much more than his music.
The Deep House (2021)
Ending knocked off a few starts tbh
What can I say about the deep house...
It's different I guess, it isn't your standard haunted house flick but how good would it have been if it wasn't set underwater? Probably really bad tbh. I'm not even going to mention how they totally missed the ball by making it a full found footage film I reckon it would've been much better if they just stuck to that formula.
The lead actor was so annoying and his acting was so monotone and basic. I dunno if I should blame him for the script so I'm going to blame them both lol.
Now the reason why I dropped the stars is because after sitting through all that the ending was just so unsatisfying. All that for her to just to die and not get revenge on Pierre? And even worse we get a post credit scene with him doing the same thing to another group like they're going to make a sequel? Yeah I wish I didn't waste my time on this at all. Great premise but poorly executed.
Night Swim (2024)
Amityville pool lol
I dunno why this is getting so much hate? Sure it isn't scary but let's be honest horror movies aren't scary unless you're an actual child or have lived a very sheltered life because let's face it life is way scarier than a film could ever be and films serve a great purpose to take us away from it all and in my opinion it did a pretty good job at that.
The film itself isn't even too bad either with that being said it kinda felt like an Amityville type of film. It's paced well too, it doesn't feel rushed or like it drags on it's a great way to kill an hour and a half if you feel like doing so.
The Jester (2023)
I just watched this for free and I still feel scammed
Honestly what in the ever loving flip was that? Whoever wrote this film should never ever ever and I can't express this enough EVER step foot in a writers room again. It was terrible. I mean it was so bad I can't even give it extra stars for the kills that were somewhat good because the rest of the film was just bad. It's a cheap knock off Terrifier and that's pushing it because it couldn't touch it with a 1000ft barge pole. Honestly don't waste your time
Don't even get me started on the acting either. They literally killed off the only person who can actually act in the first five minutes.
I didn't pay a penny to watch this film but I feel absolutely scammed. I honestly would have rather spent my time staring at a wall doing absolutely nothing than wasting my time with this absolute rubbish. I'd give it a 0 if I could.
Napoleon (2023)
Didn't wanna believe it was that bad but not was I wrong
I finally got round to watching Napoleon after putting it off for a while after hearing nothing but bad things about it. I decided to give it a shot anyway since I tend to like most films people don't but I wish I didn't waste my time.
I turned it off after the first hour because it just wasn't interesting at all then I ended up watching thebrest of it the next day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the action scenes when they occured but it's was too too little too late and I just wanted the film to be over.
Let's not even talk about the historical inaccuracy in the film because that's a whole different can of worms.
The best thing about this film is that you get to see Vanessa Kirby looking stunning in every shot she's in but it's definitely not worth sitting through the two and half hours.
Thanksgiving (2023)
I mean it's alright I guess but these reviews have to be fake because it ain't that good
Seriously are any of these high scores reviews even real? I saw the high rating on IMDb and I can't lie I was hopeful because a horror getting such high marks is pretty rare especially when it comes to a slasher so I decided to watch it and boy was I disappointed.
Don't get me wrong it isn't that bad it's just really generic and obvious, the kills are pretty decent but that's about it. Maybe it's an American thing and me being a Brit just doesn't understand the hype of thanksgiving and black Friday.
I don't think it deserves more than a four and k felt a little generous and bumped that up from a three. I'd say only watch if you haven't got anything else to watch.
Wonka (2023)
Great film for the holidays
If like me you've spent the last I don't know thirty plus years of your life watching Charlie and the chocolate factory during the Christmas period you'll really enjoy this.
It's obviously really different from the original but it still manages to capture the vibe and keep you engaged throughout with little Easter eggs, songs and it's many hilarious moments.
I'm a sucker for a good holiday movie and that's what this felt like, it outshines the Depp remake by miles and serves as a perfect addition to the wonka universe.
I'd definitely recommend this one especially as a family movie. It might have just made its way onto my yearly Christmas watchlist.
Silent Night (2023)
Generic action movie but make it *silent*
Honestly I knew from the beginning I wasn't going to like this film, I could tell it was going to overuse shots to try and tell a story and it may sound good and unique on paper but it was boring. It just doesn't work with such a weak storyline, especially when the protagonist is so dislikeable.
I understand it was meant to be a little spin on silent movies but the story was way too generic for me to care and the action scenes weren't even all that good especially after making us wait until half the film was over for it to kick in.
We just get weird stares and no one communicating which gets a little frustrating to watch. I definitely wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
Exhibit A (2007)
Hidden gem
I have no idea how I came about to watching this movie, I just found it tucked away deep in my watchlist and decided to give it a go as I had that found footage itch that needed scratching and wow I gotta say this has got to be one of the best ones I've ever seen.
This is horror done right, it felt so real that by the end I was sat there in disbelief to what I was watching. The acting is superb and of course being from Yorkshire it immersed me almost instantly with the dialogue and familiar setting.
I can't recommend this enough especially if you enjoy watching found footage movies. It now has a permanent spot in my top ten found footage films .
Follow the Dead (2020)
I feels scammed
What even was this film? I found it on Amazon prime and thought I'd check the reviews before giving it a watch and the majority of them are positive. Well they're obviously all written by people involved in the film because it totally sucked!
I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch it and decided to give it another go because of the reviews but it was just so bad. The acting is terrible, it literally sounds like they're reading a script as they act and it's barely even a zombie movie. Like what is the plot of the film? I watched it with two other people and they have no idea what the film is about.
TL:DR - watch shaun of the dead because this ain't it.
Kids vs. Aliens (2022)
So disappointed
What did I just watch? Seriously, this has to be the worst film I've watched this year and that's saying something as I've watched over 100. Did AI write this script? The dialogue was so corny and the plotline was just plain stupid. How can they get it so wrong after the short on VHS was so good?
It was so bad at times I was questioning if the whole film was actually a homemade movie being made by the children in the film which probably would've been a way better plot tbh. The script felt like it was written for a Nickelodeon Halloween film and the writers just threw in a whole heap of cursing and added a smidge of blood to pass it as an adults horror film. I have no idea how they managed to mess up this bad after Siren was quite enjoyable.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Where was the storyline?
If films were about visuals alone this would be at least a 9 but they're not, this film imo totally lacks substance so I think I was pretty generous with my rating of 6.
I found myself falling asleep at least three times throughout the first hour because honestly it was so boring to me, I kinda woke back up once it started to kick in properly but even then the storyline barely held my attention and I don't think I cared about what will happen to the characters at all. The twists were way too predictable and I guessed what they would be near the beginning which is probably why I fell asleep. That being said the acting was decent and the animatronics were pretty cool.
The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
Terrible
I don't know why they needed to give us another exorcist film but I was kinda excited for it, more fool me because I let the trailer give me hope.
It started out really well, I loved the atmosphere and the way it built up the story, it drew me in pretty good but then it somehow fell flat as soon as it should have started getting good. They spent too much time focusing on the parents than they did on the actual possessed children which makes no sense since there was no big revelation from any of them that altered the story in anyway.
They decided to totally skip over the hauntings and possessed activity and give us absolutely nothing. If it was a standalone film I wouldn't be too bothered by it but I'm sick of these new sequels being so bad that it totally disrespects the classic. They even threw in an OG cast member that added nothing to plot and disrespected her which was really annoying.
Sumotherhood (2023)
Not as good as the first but still hilarious
Anuvahood is an absolute classic and I knew it would be hard to top so although I had high expectations for this film I'd be lying if I said I said I didn't love it.
I was a little disappointed at first that it wasn't a sequel but that feeling quickly left after a few minutes because this film had me in stitches from the get go.
There are a few moments that I feel did need to be cut (the whole police part near the end being the main one) but overall it's a decent watch thati can definitely see myself watching again just for the fun of it.
Hopefully we get some more movies in this universe because they're really enjoyable.
Appendage (2023)
I absolutely loved it because I could relate to it.
Let me start by saying I had no idea this movie even existed nor what it was about, I just randomly watched it and I came out in pieces.
At first glance I thought it was going to be another "it's all in your head" standard metaphorical type of films about mental health which had me double guessing everything throughout the whole film but not was I wrong (kind)
Appendage gave me a great glimpse into my own struggles as someone who has dissociative ptsd, depression and anxiety. I applaud the writer/s because there were so many times I had to pause the film and reflect on my own personal internal battles I have with myself every single day and for the first time in what seems like forever I felt like I was understood, seen and accepted. I may receive unhelpful responses because I gave it such a high score but to me this was more than a horror movie this was a reflection of my life.
This is the first time I've watched a film that I feel I can fully relate to and I implore everyone to watch it.
It Lives Inside (2023)
Pretty decent but nothing special. Borderline meh tbh
My low opinion on the movie is probably most likely because I went in with high hopes after seeing it advertised in the cinema so many times in the last month so I was pretty excited to watch it but it kinda fell flat.
I already knew from the start it was going to be one of those run of the mill "embrace your heritage" type of films so I wasn't too bothered about the obvious plotline that was going to follow but I feel like they really missed theark with the scares, I would be lying if I said it was all bad though because there were some parts that were a little chilling.
The "monster" imo should have been left unseen because it seriously looked like something from an 80's horror film and it took away the whole seriousness of the movie for me. And can we please lose the "stupid child/teenager" trope from horrors, it's a lazy device used to push the plot and it doesn't work whatsoever in this movie because I know for a fact she would have told her parents what happened from the get go whether she was "proud" of her heritage or not.
I gave it a generous 5 because they managed to capture how dramatic south Asian parents are which to me was quite hilarious and authentic.
No One Will Save You (2023)
So good!
This film is great! I would've gladly paid to watch this in the cinema if I was given the chance.
The design and animation of the aliens is probably some of the best I've ever seen in a movie. The way they move is so horrifyingly amazing. Let's not forget the sound, I hate the sound quality in most modern movies as it just sounds dull or too low for most of the film and then too loud during action scenes but the sound quality of this movie is superb. It's perfectly balanced. The story isn't typical either, I was expecting some bs drama with a whole lot of filler from outside sources but it's straight to the point and doesn't interrupt or take us away from the story. Honestly I hope they release it in the cinema so I can go watch it again.
Heart of Stone (2023)
Did AI write this script?!
First off I'm just going to totally ignore Gal Gadot and the way she delivers her lines as I just put it down to her having an accent and I'm used to it by now but looking past her horrible delivery the whole film just felt like someone typed "write a film about AI helping the world and some random bad guys want to take control of it, oh and add a lot of action scenes" into CHATGPT and called it a day. Literally none of the scenes felt human, the way they interacted with each other just felt off.
I would have gave it a one star rating but being a gal gadot fan and liking some of the action scenes I decided on a very generous 2.
Barbie (2023)
Now I am become Barbie Girl, the enjoyer of Barbie worlds
I have been waiting for this to release for so long and I finally got to watch it today. I absolutely loved it! It was fun, it had Margot Robbie (and extra stuff for Tarantino's out there if you know what I mean) And it had some absolute bangers! What more could you want from a new summer classic?
Honestly the depth of the story ain't there but what do you expect from a film about a Barbie? Lol I'll probably go back and watch it again tbh and I'll probably purchase it once it releases on blu ray as I did rather enjoy it (seriously my mouth hurts from smiling and laughing) there are some touching moments where Robbie really shines I just wish there were a little more because as everyone I absolutely adore Margot and her films.
Anyway Barbie is a blast. It's a definite recommend on my list.
Oppenheimer (2023)
WOW
I'm not gonna lie and say I was 100% excited for Oppenheimer because I wasn't at first, I remember seeing the trailer in the cinema and thinking "yeah I'm gonna watch that one day" anyway the whole Barbenheimer thing happened and my hype grew for the film (more for Barbie if I'm being honest) but I just left the cinema and wow.
It is a masterpiece, it's so well crafted that it didn't even feel as though I was sat there for three hours, I watched it in IMAX and I feel as though you need to in order to fully appreciate Oppenheimer. The sound is mixed so we'll (which is usually the opposite when it comes to a Nolan film) and the performances of every character is marvellous.
Asteroid City (2023)
I have no idea what I watched but I loved it
I went in to this showing with absolutely no idea what I was going to watch and tbh I left feeling the exact same way. Saying that I rather enjoyed the film but it's hard to explain why, if that makes any sense?
The performances were great and the visuals were pretty decent but I'm not sure if it was enough to make up for the lack of substance or plot. However it was really enjoyable. Maybe I'm just a sucker for food dialogue and a pretty face (Scarlett Johansson & we can't forget Margot Robbie no matter how small her role is)
Overall I give it an 8 I was a little torn between that and a 7 but since I wasn't disappointed in the film I decided to raise the score. I'll probably watch it again once it releases on blu ray.