drtturner Reviews

Dismissed (2017)

Nice guilty pleasure thriller that could've helped itself with a more apt title

[6/10 · 27 December 2017]

This straight to video film has the feel of an artsy, indie film moreso than a TV movie or a major big budget release. I credit the tension of the protagonist and antagonist taking place pretty much in a vacuum and the reoccurring underscore music as creating this smaller film vibe. It mirrors the quiet film Joshua moreso than the jump scared filled, loud Esther. .. I mean Orphan. I actually would say this is 7 out of 10 but gave it a lower score in commemoration of the film's main plot. The villain creates a memorable charter who perfectly combines the ying and yang of masculine yet feminine, disarming yet frosty. At 1 point he sports the Dicaprio hairstyle circa Titanic. Just like we discovered that a little girl can be deadly, the main character here shows that a slim waisted, teen lad is not to be triffled with either. Very clean cut like the leader in the movie The Purge or the rich son in American Horror Story Freak Show. Those types make for great villians. Ask opponents of late Hall of Fame Pro Wrestler Roddy Piper. This movie was a wonderful guilty pleasure.

The Fundamentals of Caring (2016)

A bit too cute for its own good.

[6/10 · 10 August 2016]

Movies like Good Will Hunting, Me Before You and The "Intouchables", this would have its work cut out for it, but rather than shy away and gain new ground it seemed content to go down the now hackneyed path unabashedly. Part of my complaint comes from the boy who from the very onset does his thing followed by what is supposed to be a disarming smile. A smile that we see time and time again and most notably surrounded by awkward feces changing jokes, awkward, unless you are into that sort of thing. So the problem is unlike Damon's portrayal in GWH or other characters in similar films it all happens so fast that it seems forced. The character and I dare say the actor portraying him built up little to no cache yet we are supposed to ride and die with this stranger from the opening scene. While his smile may or may not have been genuine, it was presumptive in its notion that all viewers are on board. My being able to predict most outcomes in this 30 seconds before the twist did not help matters.

Animal Kingdom (2016–2022)

Guilty pleasure for men. Ab eye candy for ladies. Misleading title like Original

[5 April 2016]

I found a really good guilty pleasure miniseries but it may be on hiatus until June. It's about a trailer trash like clan with an orphaned teen who comes to live with his rotten older cousins. First he is put off by their brutish Addams family/Beverly Hillbilly ways, but must be something in the dna and water because soon he is acting out just as poorly as the rest. Shawn Hatosy, now older plays an ex con and I think patriarch of the family. Ellen Barkin plays the Matriarch. You ladies will like the eye candy of the 3 redneck brothers and their baby cousin always walking around with two stitches of clothes showing their high metabolism abs. Anyway......World's worst title. Animal Kingdom. I almost turned three times because it sounds like Animal Planet...a quiet show about the safari.

Baggage Claim (2013)

It could be entertaining

[28 September 2013]

Baggage Claim stars Paula Paxson, aka Robin Thicke's wife, as an unlucky in love clock ticking bachlorette who decides to revisit all her exes with comedic effect. An all star cast of leading guy types from Taye Diggs to Trey Songz making her decision difficult. I guess it's a chick flick where audience members can debate which guy they would take with each scene introducing 1 upmanship. I kind of think that since one joke is in the ensemble cast being eye candy after eye candy, they should have inserted a few more cameos to drive home the point and not come down flat. L.L. Cool J, Leon, Cuba Gooding jr and Anthony Anderson are examples of guys whose dockets seem free enough to have been included to put this movie over the top and give it the ridiculous volume that it seemed to be going for.

The Obama Effect (2012)

No go.

[3/10 · 19 July 2012]

"The Obama Effect" movie review Errrrfh...... No. After years of dry wit and the straight man to a sillier brother on TV's Roc, Mr. Dutton pretty much solidifies the idea that comedy is not his forte, not even dramatic comedy. His strongest suit are strong, believable characters that show vulnerability in the midst of great obstacles as was the case when he played a Detective in Secret Window, an astronaut in Aliens 3 and a bus driver in Get on the Bus. In this latest movie's attempt at humor, he and the film come across as Goofy, sometimes by nudge nudge design and sadly more often by happen stance. A top rate impersonation of the incumbent President that is helped by slick shadow filming is wasted in this venture. These cameos show what could have been. Dutton spends a bulk of the time in front of the camera as well as behind it, but honestly he is not a leading man. In the aforementioned films where he was utilized best, he was in and out as less is more. Dutton is not the only eye sore. Katt Williams does a minute and thirty second political monologue that falls flat and appears a minute and fifteen seconds too long. There is a cheap and cheesy Boxing subplot that seems tacked on giving the film a definite made for TV feel. Not even a good made for TV feel, but rather one of those fringe low budget cable stations. The premise of a major film that speaks of Barack Obama sounds promising. Pass on this one as this is not it.

Thomasine & Bushrod (1974)

It is Blaxploitation, but nothing wrong with that.

[27 August 2011]

Amazing how you can see a movie, not think of it for a decade or even 2, but then remember some parts. The ending was so special and I called it right before it happened making me think I saw it years ago. My claim that it is blaxploitation comes in way of looking at the clown white sheriff and looking at how our 2 heroes can ride in a car that goes 4 miles per hour and escape all bullets as if mythical characters, a trademark of blaxploitation super hero films. Even though Glenn Thurman is in this one, the film would have had a bigger push, following and lasting impact had a James Earl Jones or Rosie Grier been secured in the lead role. As it stands, the actors involved did an admirable job.

Jeopardy! (1983– )

My favorite game show of all time has finally jumped the shark

[10/10 · 14 February 2011]

I guess it is good news that I lived to the ripe age that I now have seen something I thought I would never see and that is a terrible Jeopardy episode.

Jumping the Shark is a term that came from the show Happy Days when Fonzi took his motor cycle into the water for a dare devil feat. Referring to that show and all since that time, it generally signifies when a show has run out of ideas, gotten stale and uses a last ditch effort to recessitate itself, but instead comes across trivial and trite. Jeopardy was a game show that was immune to such a failing. It was foolproof in that College and Celebrity week only added to it. Now Watson, replete with spattered vignettes about his birth mark the death of the show's winning streak. The computer has a hackneyed name of Watson and the personality of my netbook. To make matters worst, he gives us the displeasure of watching our past likable champions look like oafs in a surreal event. Like exploited children, they don't even look happy to be there. Oh well.

Halloween (2007)

Destroyed a classic. Okay on it's own. 8 mile meets Dahmer? Why Zombie?

[6/10 · 3 September 2007]

This film would be average if it was a stand alone, but by hacking into a classic it shows a blatant disregard for what John Carpenter envisioned. I do not understand the psychology of Zombie who felt it necessary to neatly and tidily explain away Michael's evil. The beauty of the original was that those of us who had nice homes could harbor an innocent enough quiet child who one day snaps for no apparent reason. Instead we get an eminem 8 mile Dysfunctional family and a Kiss Rock and Roll fan Momma's Boy turned serial killer. Zombie then wants it both ways, super explaining and justifying earlier actions and later moving to a cold blooded killer who goes after those who seek to help him and then gong back again to caring about family, thus as confusing and inconsistent as I've just described. This movie ignores the fact that in the original, we saw older, seemingly stable parent get out of the car in the opening scene. This is ignored and an unstable family i inserted.

The Challenge (1990 Video)

Very well done. Doomination at it's most simplistic yet finest

[17 June 2007]

Jeanna fine portrays a tough tomboy who seems incapable of taming. She has up all her defenses against the Dominatrix who she can't stand. Zara white comes in and plays sort of a good witch who makes love to the tough girl and surprisingly gets to her lighter side. Soon a dirty old drunk, in fact the one that Jeanna tormented earlier comes in to have his way with the now restrained bad girl. Jeanna realistically pleads that she would rather deal with the Dominatrix than the homeless guy. She gets her wish. All the women in this film are at their peak. They are all quite pretty. There is plenty of shiny black leather. If this is not a Bruce 7 film, it certainly has the feel of one. The End.

To All My Friends on Shore (1972 TV Movie)

If ever there was a movie in need of title to do it more justice, this is it.

[9 November 2006]

To all my friends at the shore conjures up all kinds of images of People sailing, which as one comedienne said is not so popular with the brothers after our ancestors first boat trip, Frank Sinatra singing at the casino which is by the shore, Dinah Shore and an odd assortment of other things, none of which would be popular in the inner city. This gritty and well done movie needed a better title. I can not think of a movie thats title did it such an injustice. The title comes from the final words that Cosby says to his son in jest...and it was not even an accurate exact quote. There are topics of Sickle Cell Anemia, Man and Boy (he already took that title) and ghetto that are never alluded to by such an inept title. At least the weak Taxi Driver title actually was named after the star's profession. This older film surprisingly has Cosby moments where he educates his family on the deadly disease and when he schools his son on yesterday, today and tomorrow people which is both poetic and theoretical. I'll leave it to the ladies to comment, but Cosby is leading man Denzel-like in a time that predates that icon. He is fit and trim with a wardrobe that fluctuates from a youthful jeans and muscle sweatshirt to a white collar and tie, hinting at the sense of style he would later show on his hit show.

The Chumscrubber (2005)

Illistrates eroticism, Middle age despair, and teenage angst better than American Beauty

[7 November 2006]

Note from the start that I never saw the appeal of American Beauty. I never was a fan of that film. This movie, that I caught on a pay channel, reminded me of it with its quick wit and young character's woos juxapositioned against the adult family member's worries with the two overlapping quite often. The K.D. Lange soft butch lesbian looking leather jacket wearing bad GUY gets the most mileage out of HIS jimmy dean rebel role, stealing just about every scene that he is in. The Director is weirdly unconventional in allowing a couple 0f the characters to refer to the kidnapped boy as "really tiny" which is....weird. The kidnapped is a 13 year old who is small even for a Freshman. Both the children and the adults use wit and the audience is given credit for understanding between the lines. This script is not dumbed down like much of the fare released these days. Overall, a quite interesting film.

Bogard (1975)

We should start a blaxploitation movie watcher club

[15 October 2006]

I actually bested an earlier writer's bargain by buying this brand new in a shrink wrap for $1 at a dollar store. I regret that the cover art is a close up face pic that is generic and close up to where he looks like anybody else with an Afro and full mustache. I much more prefer the super hero pic that is sported on this page. The movie was middling, not as stellar as Shaft, Truck Turner and Superfly, but certainly above Fred Williamson's Joashua AKA Black Rider, which had it's potential retarded by one of the most inept music scores of all time. Black Fist has a competent soundtrack moving from a Liza Minelli/ Barbara Streisand sound alike crooning an opening homage to the lead character then moving to lush instrumentals with violins that would have made Barry White proud. The lead star looks familiar. In my case, I recently saw him in Burt Reynold's Stick, but I was surprised to find that he has only treaded on notoriety playing in many TV shows. He is somewhat similar to the guy who played on WXRP in Cinncinatti as well as The Brother from the Love Boat, which also makes him seem familiar. I thought his hero was decent with the exception of an opening scene that seemed out of character in which he stuttered when first confronted but then nonsensibly and unexplainably he was confident and confrontational seconds later ( a blooper perhaps). Speaking of bloopers, there is a scene early on when the Gerald Levert looking henchman pulls a gun on Leroy and behind him and clearly in site you see a second yes man who has a gun pointed at the Levert lookalike. It is subtle, but makes no sense 1 henchman pointing a gun at his partner. Perhaps improvised by an overzealous actor who wanted to extend his limited screen time. The actress who plays the love interest is more than adequate for an overall good film.

City Dragon (1995)

I'm going to save my 99 cents and pass on this one

[13 May 2006]

I read the reviews for this film and I was considering buying this at the dollar store that carries it, however my mind changed when I found a great alternative on television 1 minute later that I was able to record for FREE. It is called Master Demon (1991) and although it is in Spanish, the acting is so hilariously overdone with dialog that alternates between missing and grunting, you hardly notice what language it is in. While recording portions of this movie, I read your reviews on City Dragon and it is pretty safe to say we are talking two of a kind. Tacky editing, A muscle bound he-man woman dressed in scantily clad leather, villains who appear to be wearing a grotesque version of a Nixon mask, but with no explanation or reference to it, we are suppose to think that it is a real face. One guys karate move was to turn his back and wait a literal 5 seconds for the opponent to karate chop him to the now exposed region. Where did he learn that move ? Again, another laugh out loud so dismal it is actually good film.

Joshua (1976)

An embarrassingly inept theme song subtracts from overall approval.

[23 April 2006]

Someone, even if the star of the film Williamson himself, should have never allowed this film to reach the public with the simplistic kindergarten theme song played in the opening credits as well as various times through the film. No one would be expecting the music editor to make a monumental catchy theme along the lines of the Bonanza theme or Issac Hayes' Shaft. With such a humble production, the task of the music department would be to merely stay out of the way and not detract from the overall end product. Unfortunately, the music in this film fails miserably and detracts from any momentum that the average acting gains. Williams is pretty good in the lead role and his stoic approach is in tune with the Western gunslinger theme. A prologue showing Abraham Lincoln's picture is mumbled and difficult to hear so seeing as it doesn't add to the film it should have been left out all together. Williamson appears to struggle at times on the horse, having to kick it too many times then winding up with his hat falling around his neck and sending him bobbing too harshly. The real sin here remains the theme song. With three seconds of effort my "Anty Up, Black horse, black hat, black rider...cowboy...Whew Whew" "Move along Black hat, black horse, black rider, go go " would be annoying, but less so than the instrumental that was settled for. Also it is not as if 1975 did not have a dearth of talent to make a worthy theme at a low budget price. While Quincy Jones and Stevie Wonder would be unaffordable, an even exchange of exposure for talent could have been worked out with someone like Billy Preston, Bob Grusin or Randy Crawford churning out a passable theme track.

Phat Girlz (2006)

How Stella Got Her Groove Fat

[9 April 2006]

If you recall How Stella Got Her Groove Back, this film will ring like deja vu to you. Even the heart throb's accent is similar. This time instead of the obstacle to over come being age and ageism, it is weight and society's bias against heavy women. Laughs are spattered through out, but there are plenty of messages bout inner beauty. Think of the film as How Stella Got Her Groov Fat. I seem to have seen the leading actor in k mart store style clothing adds so i think that he is a model. His buddy who goes for the supporting actress looks familiar as having played clean cut guys without the accent in past films. Sloppy as it wants to be, the movie is not bad if you go in knowing roughly what to expect. I anticipate some becoming annoyed with the lead actresses soap box and presumed indictment of skinny people. Many will overlook this flaw as a point in which the movie was making...she was flawed and needed entire film in which to get somewhat better.

He Say... She Say... But What Does GOD Say? (2004 Video)

Maybe it gets better, but I shut off after heavy lady eats banana

[30 January 2006]

This film was tough for me to stomach. I rented because some of the names involved such as the producer and the actor who played in such things as Gospel and Brothers. I was quickly cooled to the idea with the eye bulging antics of the so called comic relief. Tommy of the Martin Show plays with the word in what could be considered blasphemy. About 15 minutes in a large dark skin woman comes onto the stage slowly eating a banana. Such coon acting and self mockery was more than I could take as I cut off the film at that point. The movie opens with a slick pimp pulling rank on one of his underlings that he feels has been disloyal. After making quick work of putting him in check, he turns his attention to capturing the church which evidentally will go to the highest bidder. The humor that is attempted in the scene where Tommy puts together a plan to save the church is dim witted, slow, and insulting to the audience to which the producers must underestimate as slow. I say that because the lines seem to repeat and ponder much too long too much of the time. There is also a large effeminate man and it can not really be determined if the character is acting like that to toy with the Tommy character or if he is truly into men. Either way, such material seems to fly in the face of the supposed theme of the movie making it too much of a mix match.

Shackles (2005 Video)

I proudly proclaim this my biography movie with D.L. as me

[6 January 2006]

I was shocked and amazed upon seeing this film. I had procrastinated seeing it as I was to much of a curmudgeon to ante up the $10 to buy it and did not want to pay $3 to rent it. When I got it as part of my all the dvds you can watch in a month for $29, the price was right. In retrospect, this movie is worth anybody's $10. It does a good job so easily, it is difficult to understand why so many films on limited budget can't get it right. Although many of the actors are young, the performances are believable and professionally delivered. I was amazed because I could so relate to the D.L. character working as a shrink in a prison with classes myself. I spearheaded a spelling bee contest almost single handedly, am sympathetic to the plight of inmates which does not always sit well with D.O.C. staff and have played the students in basketball in winning and losing results, but always to the end of building rapport. These are just a snippet of the similarities. I appreciate the idea that the hero character did not always have to have all the answers or get the last word. Sometimes silence is the best therapy and persuasion is not always the best avenue. When the one student rebels and resorts to an arrogant finger pointing indictment it might be a natural and particularly Hollywood reaction to argue back. Just as I do, D.L.'s character absorbs the onslaught and tries to extract some positivity out of the situation. A very perceptive and therapeutic film. Finally, D.L. should be commended for his straight face dramatic turn. He is witty as ever, but as a matter of coincidence and not necessarily design. Thoughs who know him as a King of Comedy or a sitcom father should put aside past indications of his range and give this movie a shot. Similar to comic Jamie Fox, he shows adequate acting chops in carrying the film. One viewer asked why this had not been widely released. I would guess that with the release of Coach Carter in close proximity and the archives which include Remember the Titains and Lean on Me, the inspirational teacher is a film genre that is sparingly devied up for theatrical release. This film has the right stuff, just like those films did.

Everybody Hates Chris (2005–2009)

Funniest show on TV........period!!!!

[8 October 2005]

I've seen two shows and it is decided that It is my favorite comedy presently. I didn't even think I would like it. Pam is great in her understated role of Chris's mother. In actuality, no one really hates the boy, although it would be a comical spin seeing that there are some kids who teachers and neighborhood adults hate and chastise for no apparent reason. The father, best known as the Jungle Fever muscle man from White Chicks does his usual visual comedy. The theme song "EVERYBODY HAA ATES CHRIS" is adorable and peppered throughout the show at cliff hangers right before commercials. As the show gets slammed by critics I see it as a gem that appeals to me taste whereas Everybody Loves Raymond never did. I could so relate to the coach who heavily woos the young strapping buck to be the star player as it happened to me at age 9 with basketball 15 with wrestling and even 19 with the military track and field team. I was laughing out loud as the coach hunted him down. I look forward to seeing more episodes of this.

Shaka Zulu: The Citadel (2001 TV Movie)

Exploitative and as fun as fake wrestling

[27 May 2005]

The heading that I chose is dubious by design. I am sure that there are equal numbers of people who will rip and debase this film for its assertions of Mandigo black and white fascination with each other as well as the ever reoccurring themes of white Emperialism / superiority and the tribes of humbled Black Africans. On the flip side, others will exalt the way in which Shaka can be likened to a Shaft of the 18th century, taking on the establishment almost single handedly and winning. Grace Jones disappears after the first quarter of the film and I was disappointed that the 6 foot Amazon never quite developed into the warrior that I had predicted. All in all I think most will be pleasantly surprised about the subtle twists, adequate acting and better than low budget cinematography.

Fat Albert (2004)

There are worst ways to spend Christmas 2004

[26 December 2004]

First of all, I want to say great job to unemployed critic for his or her poignant and cogent critique of this film. It sounded a lot like a review that I typically would give. I am a veteran Cosby and Fat Albert Gang enjoyer so I went in wanting to enjoy this film. I had a couple good laughs and scenes such as the 8 mile-like hip hop rap were awkward in that I found myself looking approvingly with that fake Oprah like forced open smile...laugh out loud...no offense. The point of this letter is to give a unenthusiastic thumbs up and put out a small trivia that a moderate Fat Albert fan would have picked up on. The pink hat wearing Russell (I think it is Russell) was uncharacteristically out of form throughout the film and his distinctive stranglehold as the in house antagonist was sorely missed. Every time his character showed unbridled chivalry for the female lead or sped up to have a concern look for the rest of the gang, I shrieked knowing it was another missed opportunity to show the original 70's character. Him and little Rudy were the biggest misses for me. I missed them both.

Unshackled (2000)

An impressive trio with Radio and Titans

[17 October 2004]

Talk about integration, sports, and real life stories, beautiful human interest stories, and we have a trifecta. While Radio and Remember the Titans got their share of theater run, Unshackled is a little DVD gem that I take pleasure in introducing to people. There is a lousy film in theaters called "Friday Night Lights" that can't hold a match to these films. Seemingly on a shoe string budget, Unshackled takes its time and for the first few minutes even tricks viewers into thinking it will be a silly chasing crime flick. The pacing is sneakily on target lulling viewers in with light fare and getting heavy handed and preachy at the end and my group loved every second. The director of the aforementioned theatrical blunder should take note of the character development of this film. Just as in Radio, we close by seeing the real life guy who was portrayed in the movie. Notice the star hero who played a heel in the Titans.

Friday Night Lights (2004)

Titians wanna be that fumbles and ultimately gets shut out

[17 October 2004]

I went into this film hyped as I had heard so much about it and as a movie buff I had actually resisted my urge to frequent the fluff of the past 2 months waiting for something special. On the edge of my seat with anticipation, it soon became evident that this film could not deliver the goods. Ironically the stars of this, one of my years worst films, have each starred in two of my favorite films of all time. The Antwone Fisher guy, plus the lead actor looks like the little ledwicky clan leader of the film "War" all grown up. The Antwone guy does an imitation of Tyrell Owens or any other cocky jock, but this is not any inspired performance as we saw that best when another guy said "Show me the money." The pace of the film was weird at best. The state of the art multiplex I saw it in had distorted sound for the first 5 minutes, however considering 30 minutes of shabby pacing I couldn't tell you if the initial sound disrortion was

a theater problem or just another short coming of a bad film. With regard to pacing, within the first few minutes we fast forward to where the guys are just being guys grabbing soda pops and trying to make out with their choice of girl. Before we know it, in the absence of any real plot or character development, the team takes the field and we are suppose to care who wins...why ? I found myself getting aggravated that the audience is suppose to cheer for the team simply because they have the screen time and are not exactly quite the bad guys. After curling up and trying to bare it and see if it would get any better, I noticed that the entire theater was only politely sitting by and watching, far from what is expected from a sports film. I ended up, finally, leaving and going to catch the end of another film as I could take no more by about the 50 minute mark. If you want a real homage to "Remember the Titans", "Radio" of course is one, however there is a little DVD gem called "Unshackled" with the common theme of integration although the sport in this case is basketball. If you get that film you are in store for a treat. "Unshackled" has an alumni of "Titans" playing the hero this time as opposed to the antagonist as he did in that film.

Buffalo Soldiers (2001)

I'd recommend it to young hip military types

[13 July 2004]

This movie is pretty witty and I would recommend it to the 20 something crowd especially if they are or have done a military stint themselves. Movies like this and "Renaisance Man" are always cool for that particular audience as their are subtle customs in which it is fun to pick out as unique to the Armed Services. The film transcends a few different genres, most notable action, drams, and comedy. There were times when I wished that certain scenes' mood music was more in line with the action. For example, when Joquin's character rigs a female's car to stall and then waits for her, it was a perfect time to add some melodrama and show him as ominous yet ultimately funny. Instead, the director does not leave the mood to chance or the viewers interpretation, but instead colors our mood by having hookie clown-like music play in the backdrop. The film moves swift enough that it can be viewed a couple times and something new looked at each time. Ed Harris is his usual competent self and appropriately cast as a Colonel too nice for his own good. The show belongs to Scott Glenn who steals his scenes as a battle ready old Sarge. "Leon" Robinson (who hasn't aged in 15 years since doing the Christ character in Madonna's Like a Prayer)gives a overlooked (in the DVD extras the Director comments on the scene but never really addresses the actor) outstanding performance worthy of NAACP image recognition. He is funny, hip and tough all without the negative shucking of so many other movie characters. The confrontation between he and Glenn's character is realistic on three levels. 1, Leon's character jumps right on Glenn's with no feeling out or long build up which would be insulting to the audience 2, two guys square off for no reason in what soldiers figuratively call a pxxx contest and 3, the verbal gymnastics does not lead to physical assault as so many dumbed down movies escalate to. Any one or all three of these elements can be seen readily whenever testosterone driven men get together whether it military or sports. A very good story.

Two Degrees (2001)

Get a Pam Grier 70's film and you'll be 10 years ahead of this

[13 July 2004]

My title might be confusing, but basically I am saying that many of the blaxploitation films of the early 1970's such as "Friday Foster" or "Truck Turner" are light years ahead of this film on acting, definitely film score and overall quality. I am actually being too kind to this garbage of a film. If you are like me, you look at the ladies pictures who are cast in this film and you think they look sophisticated and along with the comic talent of dc curry you decide to take a chance as what is the worst that can happen ? Well, let me save you the trouble and the buck or two. DC is only funny because his utter ineptness at acting, but I will bail him out by saying that the script he was given was lame. The overall quality is a high school production with cam corder. Even the opening song sounds like local boy trying to rap to a 1980's beat machine. The women are pretty, but of course, the director allows the first 15 minutes to go by without introducing them, so when they appear your bull radar is already overloaded. Enough said.

Dark Harvest (2004 Video)

Had potential to be good

[15 June 2004]

This movie deals with a field and scarecrows similar to the widely distributed Jeepers Creepers franchise which goes haywire in the final acts. There was a chance that this film would stifle such diversions and be an improvement on the scarecrow concept, but no such luck. The creepiness of the film's box cover art of a potato sack scarecrow face is heads above what the film delivers, pun intended. The film begins with a worthy enough sequence involving a sheriff, his deputy and a ax carrying hick farmer being questioned about his wife's recent fright. The only other noteworthy element of the film is a young man in the group of vulnerable young adults who has a unique voice of part magic johnson part weird harold of the fat albert gang in tenor. The voice provides constant comic relief and it is not clear whether this was the director's intentions or if he just got lucky. Either way, the young man with the funny voice has plenty of dialogue and his range of expression stays at a constant slightly irritating tone whether he's kidding around or later when in peril. While this character provides comic relief, unfortunately the film has no horror as the counter element of this humor. When the scarecrows eyes look like 2 red laser lights, we know we are dealing with lightweight horror fare.