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toasland
Reviews
2012 (2009)
2012 viewers should be so lucky
This was one of the very very worst movies I have ever seen. Not even the raved about special effects could help it! They were very cheesy and "disneyland-esque", and the script...oh there are no words to describe it.
I was at the 10-40am session, so not many people. I almost yelled out several times at parts that were so embarrassingly awful, in the hope that perhaps I was dreaming the dreadfulness of the experience. Things like "Airplanes just can't fly like that" and "stretch limos cannot fly" and "please please just stay under the water and get jammed in then ark gears and put us all out of our misery" ....oh the nightmare of it all.....
Do not buy a copy, do not rent a copy....if you MUST watch it, ensure no effort to get it has taken place, as you will regret it. YES it is THAT bad!
Doomsday (2008)
cool cool movie
WOW!!!! What an absolute rip snorter of a movie!!!! I am so amped after watching this! So much action, so much fun, so much gore, I could have stayed in my seat viewing for another hour or two. In HD this movie rocks. The soundtrack has some awesome 80s tunes, the plot is excellent(28 days later/mad max etc) and the acting is cool. The main characters are believable for a culture that has all but perished horribly from a pretty ghastly bug (although I cannot get Bob Hoskins in Who framed Roger Rabbit out of my head becos of his voice), and I just want to go and lift some weights to look like the main chick...SARAH CONNER LOOK OUT darling, there's a new babe on the block! Great special effects,awesome action scenes, and if you can look past Malcolm McDowell's bulbous red nose, you can accept him as a great baddie. Amazing costumes and cool throbbing, sexed up crowd scenes, make this flick one of the very best sci-fi /action films EVER! Viewing is highly recommended...crank up the volume, crack on the 42 inch LCD, turn out the lights, and have a real blast folks!!!!! COOLEST MOVIE MAN!
Karla (2006)
Very disappointing
Not being a native of Canada, I had never heard about this serial killer 'Karla'. So having a strong interest in crime stories and the like, I was looking forward to actually seeing what everyone seemed to be so horrified about. This film was certainly no where near as awful as anyone had made out. The opening scene was not 'like a lesbian porn flick' in fact there was no 'lesbian' moments at all.. nor were any of the 'murder' and 'gratuitous violence' scenes explicit or even realistic. Whilst the male lead was averagely convincing, the female lead was wooden and without any real depth, and the psychiatrist was just dreadful. The whole show was simply like a poorly acted and directed "made for TV" piece, which could have been shown at an 8.30pm time slot. If you want to see a real slice of life, one that happens (unfortunately) on a daily basis in parts of New Zealand, watch "Once Were Warriors". That will make your blood curdle and make you thank God that you have a nice family.
The Gravedancers (2006)
what a load of crud!
After reading many very positive reviews on 'The Gravedancers', I was so excited at the prospect of seeing an 'excellent' horror, as it has been years since I had my pants scared off. Comments like "I think I am going to have a heart attack" made me turn off the lights, grab the popcorn and set the home entertainment system to max frightening mode! What a waste of clean undies and popcorn that was. The acting was appalling..I think the cast were members of Pinocchio's family, the 'special effects' did not even come into that actual category, and the script..My 2 year old could have done equally as well, if not better. The only scary thing about the whole movie was that I wasted 95 minutes of my life that could have been so much more productively spent, doing something like picking my nose or scratching my butt. Do not bother even picking up the DVD case for this embarrassing example of a horror film. Just awful!