And I'll probably watch it all just because it's something that's not reality TV. What irks me the most is all the Arabic and French dialogue that they bothered to actually write, but couldn't be bothered to subtitle ... so you feel like you miss half the damn show. I honestly don't understand why anyone would do that? If you are marketing this to a largely English audience (which obviously you are), why do that? If your goal is just to deepen the mystery of what is happening, why bother with any dialogue at all? I don't get why you would write a scene, cast actors, film and edit the entire scene without letting your audience in on it? I could still see it if it were scenes playing out in different countries with different people to show simultaneous events ... but no, our main characters are present in these scenes, we're just not let in on it. It is frustratingly stupid. If you happen to speak one or both of those languages I guess it's a nice bonus scene, but it is very annoying to the average English speaking simpleton.
Reviews
14 Reviews
Big Gold Brick
(2022)
I don't think it should make sense
13 August 2023
And I don't think that's for some (trying to be) deep or pretentious reason. I think you have to remember that the storyteller is intended to be recovering from a traumatic brain injury. So we are being told a story through the lens of someone who has a contentious relationship with reality and an, at times, skewed perspective of people, objects, and the relationships between them. So the insanity (I mean that literally) blends with the story in a way that is inextricable and unpredictable. This is actually why I loved this movie. It is completely unpredictable ... I had no idea where anything was going until it got there, fantastic.
It's not for everyone and it's not some deep meaningful opus ... it's just a bit of fun insanity to take you away from the un-fun insanity of the real world.
The acting is solid (except for Megan Fox whose career will end when her looks do because that's all she relies on), it's wonderfully shot, and the soundtrack is oddly appropriate for the chaos it tries to imply.
Overall, solid film for a fun afternoon streaming at home. I would not pay for it though.
It's not for everyone and it's not some deep meaningful opus ... it's just a bit of fun insanity to take you away from the un-fun insanity of the real world.
The acting is solid (except for Megan Fox whose career will end when her looks do because that's all she relies on), it's wonderfully shot, and the soundtrack is oddly appropriate for the chaos it tries to imply.
Overall, solid film for a fun afternoon streaming at home. I would not pay for it though.
The Signal
(2014)
A truly bizarre experience
10 July 2023
Tldr: Fun ride, but don't expect it to make a ton of sense ... and keep the remote handy for the volume inconsistencies.
It is as mind bendy as it gets. Lots of unanswered questions, an almost inexplicable ending, and massive (intentional?) plot holes ... but a fun ride for free on a weekend. We spend a bit too long scheming in the facility ... I found myself thinking 'just get on with it' on a few occasions, but otherwise decently paced.
The bizarreness comes largely from the fact that the tone of the film feels quite serious, but some bits are just so over the top ridiculous that it feels like an element meant for a lighter film. So there's this weird tension as if it is fighting with itself ... which I suppose works quite well metaphorically lol.
The special effects are actually pretty good ... I didn't expect much, but you don't get that uncanny valley effect very often, which is great.
I would have given this film an 8 just for enjoyability, but Olivia Cook ruins a lot of this film for me. She's pretty and her performance is fine (she was great in Bates Hotel), but here she speaks at a volume reserved for dogs. I missed almost every line she had despite having my volume at almost four times my normal listening volume ... which meant that the rest of it was annoyingly loud. And of course no captions were available to augment this issue (I watched on Netflix).
It is as mind bendy as it gets. Lots of unanswered questions, an almost inexplicable ending, and massive (intentional?) plot holes ... but a fun ride for free on a weekend. We spend a bit too long scheming in the facility ... I found myself thinking 'just get on with it' on a few occasions, but otherwise decently paced.
The bizarreness comes largely from the fact that the tone of the film feels quite serious, but some bits are just so over the top ridiculous that it feels like an element meant for a lighter film. So there's this weird tension as if it is fighting with itself ... which I suppose works quite well metaphorically lol.
The special effects are actually pretty good ... I didn't expect much, but you don't get that uncanny valley effect very often, which is great.
I would have given this film an 8 just for enjoyability, but Olivia Cook ruins a lot of this film for me. She's pretty and her performance is fine (she was great in Bates Hotel), but here she speaks at a volume reserved for dogs. I missed almost every line she had despite having my volume at almost four times my normal listening volume ... which meant that the rest of it was annoyingly loud. And of course no captions were available to augment this issue (I watched on Netflix).
The Sea Beast
(2022)
Wonderfully laden with metaphor and allegory
27 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The animation in this film is a feast to behold ... the texture rendering is out of this world. The attention to detail, the background elements, the lighting ... it is all spectacular. Where it falls short is the sea beasts: they are smooth and frankly look like a first render .... but hear me out here: It's metaphorical. Obviously the animators have the skill and resources for incredible detail, but our heroes have this overall vague understanding of what the beasts are and so what we see is also vague and without detail. Bit as we learn more, Red starts gaining details. First the skin texture gets a bit more detail. Then the scars start showing up. Then the coloring gains some variation. As the heroes learn more about the beasts their vision of them comes into focus more and we see more detail. We never learn as much about them as we know about the rest of the world, and so they remain a little featureless. This is the most wonderful use of the medium!
I also really love the diversity. I am a salty 41 year old white woman who frequently feels prickly about woke culture (primarily due to the forced corporate grabs in the name thereof) and I loved seeing the different races and sizes and shapes in this. I've read bits where people complain that this is set in a certain time period in Europe and there wasn't racial diversity blah blah ... no, it's animation that is not actually set anywhere specific. We make assumptions based on accents and names and cartography, but this could be set on a different planet for all we know. When King Arthur is black or King Tut is white, sure, be annoyed but seriously, it's animation, chill. Let little kids have their moments and heroes, lord knows they need them these days.
Story wise, this is OK. It's noting earth shattering but decent. This story is undeniably similar to How to Train Your Dragon (as others have mentioned), and I do love those movies, but this movie handles some things very differently and that is a good thing. (Read spoiler section at bottom for more on this)
One thing I feel I should point out is that there is an inherent allegory to imperial exploitation of people of colour. This, I think, is a good thing. Younger children are unlikely to see this bit and it opens a wonderful road to discussion about that with older children.
*****Slight spoiler***** The main difference between this film and HTTYD (that I am so happy to see) is that they don't become friends and help each other. That has always been something that story-wise I've enjoyed about HTTYD, but message wise have hated. This notion of incorporating the dragons feels exploitive rather than just leaving them in peace ... I love that this film does the latter. It really promotes the idea that we don't have to like or understand each other in order to live peacefully alongside each other.
I also really love the diversity. I am a salty 41 year old white woman who frequently feels prickly about woke culture (primarily due to the forced corporate grabs in the name thereof) and I loved seeing the different races and sizes and shapes in this. I've read bits where people complain that this is set in a certain time period in Europe and there wasn't racial diversity blah blah ... no, it's animation that is not actually set anywhere specific. We make assumptions based on accents and names and cartography, but this could be set on a different planet for all we know. When King Arthur is black or King Tut is white, sure, be annoyed but seriously, it's animation, chill. Let little kids have their moments and heroes, lord knows they need them these days.
Story wise, this is OK. It's noting earth shattering but decent. This story is undeniably similar to How to Train Your Dragon (as others have mentioned), and I do love those movies, but this movie handles some things very differently and that is a good thing. (Read spoiler section at bottom for more on this)
One thing I feel I should point out is that there is an inherent allegory to imperial exploitation of people of colour. This, I think, is a good thing. Younger children are unlikely to see this bit and it opens a wonderful road to discussion about that with older children.
*****Slight spoiler***** The main difference between this film and HTTYD (that I am so happy to see) is that they don't become friends and help each other. That has always been something that story-wise I've enjoyed about HTTYD, but message wise have hated. This notion of incorporating the dragons feels exploitive rather than just leaving them in peace ... I love that this film does the latter. It really promotes the idea that we don't have to like or understand each other in order to live peacefully alongside each other.
Just wonderful
12 December 2022
I am not a big fan of Pinocchio as a whole, but am a big fan of del Toro and stop motion, so I gave it a try. It is just beautiful. I tend to be a fairly stoic watcher and even I needed some Kleenex at some points. Just a visually, conceptually, and emotionally beautiful piece of work.
Also, the absolute best part of this film is the cricket's hiking pack. Like, what does he have in there? Where did he find it? How does he manage to hop while wearing it? Does a cricket really need a bed roll? There is an entire prequel that can be written just exploring the cricket gathering his supplies to venture off!
Also, the absolute best part of this film is the cricket's hiking pack. Like, what does he have in there? Where did he find it? How does he manage to hop while wearing it? Does a cricket really need a bed roll? There is an entire prequel that can be written just exploring the cricket gathering his supplies to venture off!
The Tree of Life
(2011)
Meditative not story or character driven
26 November 2022
This is not a film about characters or story ... those things are merely the delivery system (I'll elaborate below).
I personally didn't find the film pretentious, tough I can see how some might. I don't agree with the notion that if you didn't like it you didn't get it .... I think that if you didn't like it, you probably just didn't feel it the way others did - which is fine, we don't all feel the same stuff.
For me, it is very much a film about emotion and how the rhythms of those emotions fit into the rhythms of the societal and the natural world. How sometimes those things are in tune and you feel intensely connected to others and the world; and sometimes those things are wildly out of tune and we feel isolated and disconnected and alone. It rejects binaries like good and bad, love and hate, cruelty and kindness, suffering and happiness, etc. And firmly lives in the ebb and flow and cycles between the two poles.
If you are looking to watch a good movie but like character driven stuff or plot driven stuff, give this a skip. But if you are looking for a visually stunning, meditative film that makes you feel things, you'll love this.
Ps> I don't think it's relevant since the film is more than a decade old at the moment, but it's one that is definitely better viewed in a venue that allows pausing ... it is long and slow and it's helpful to have bathroom breaks for everyone to refocus.
I personally didn't find the film pretentious, tough I can see how some might. I don't agree with the notion that if you didn't like it you didn't get it .... I think that if you didn't like it, you probably just didn't feel it the way others did - which is fine, we don't all feel the same stuff.
For me, it is very much a film about emotion and how the rhythms of those emotions fit into the rhythms of the societal and the natural world. How sometimes those things are in tune and you feel intensely connected to others and the world; and sometimes those things are wildly out of tune and we feel isolated and disconnected and alone. It rejects binaries like good and bad, love and hate, cruelty and kindness, suffering and happiness, etc. And firmly lives in the ebb and flow and cycles between the two poles.
If you are looking to watch a good movie but like character driven stuff or plot driven stuff, give this a skip. But if you are looking for a visually stunning, meditative film that makes you feel things, you'll love this.
Ps> I don't think it's relevant since the film is more than a decade old at the moment, but it's one that is definitely better viewed in a venue that allows pausing ... it is long and slow and it's helpful to have bathroom breaks for everyone to refocus.
Mr. Nobody
(2009)
Much like a French movie
15 October 2022
The beginning has a line that goes something like 'it exists but says nothing, much like a French movie.' Though that is a humorous line, it also tells you what to expect from this (partly) French movie. Heed its warning. If you're not ok with those types of movies, skip this long one. That said:
This film has beautiful moments and is certainly beautifully shot, but its length gets in its own way. The length is reasonable in that it really is a few different films rolled into one, but some of that is fat that could be trimmed without losing anything from the film. It's worth a home watch where you can pause it and go for a bathroom or snack break, take the dog for a walk, etc. And come back to it. Probably torturous in theater.
Also, the romantic scenes with the 15 year olds feel a little pedophilic sometimes, could do with a bit less of that.
This film has beautiful moments and is certainly beautifully shot, but its length gets in its own way. The length is reasonable in that it really is a few different films rolled into one, but some of that is fat that could be trimmed without losing anything from the film. It's worth a home watch where you can pause it and go for a bathroom or snack break, take the dog for a walk, etc. And come back to it. Probably torturous in theater.
Also, the romantic scenes with the 15 year olds feel a little pedophilic sometimes, could do with a bit less of that.
Sing 2
(2021)
Fun family film eroded by Bono worship
1 October 2022
I did enjoy this film and it did make me smile, but it is far behind its predecessor and 90% of that is due to Bono.
One gets the feeling that the producers wanted to use a specific song and were granted permission on the grounds that they use a specific number of songs and that Bono gets a starring role. The result is a film that feels like a compromise. The U2 songs seem wildly out of place (save a couple) and scenes between Clay and Ash that should feel poignant end up feeling like a desperate attempt to make U2 relevant again.
That said, the animation is great ... superb texture and detail.
While it is still a very enjoyable ride for the whole family, I'm very glad that I waited for the $5 rental over the $25 new release. If you're contemplating the rental, I would wait for it to land on Prime or Netflix instead of paying extra for it.
One gets the feeling that the producers wanted to use a specific song and were granted permission on the grounds that they use a specific number of songs and that Bono gets a starring role. The result is a film that feels like a compromise. The U2 songs seem wildly out of place (save a couple) and scenes between Clay and Ash that should feel poignant end up feeling like a desperate attempt to make U2 relevant again.
That said, the animation is great ... superb texture and detail.
While it is still a very enjoyable ride for the whole family, I'm very glad that I waited for the $5 rental over the $25 new release. If you're contemplating the rental, I would wait for it to land on Prime or Netflix instead of paying extra for it.
Tales from the Loop
(2020)
Confounding
23 September 2022
This series on paper is terrible. Plot holes abound, natural laws are broken with no consistency and no recourse, characters are not particularly likeable ... and yet.
I don't understand why it's compelling or why it makes me feel the things I do. Being Human (uk) is the last show to have made me ugly cry. The scene where George dies to be with Nina ... sobfest. Yet the finale of this series did the same thing to me, but I cannot say why. It's not particularly sad or happy and really if I'm honest, nothing really happens in terms of story. But it's inexplicably touching. Maybe it's because it's so vague, one can probably find moments that resonate because we view everything through the lens of our own experiences. I don't know.
It's slow and drawn out and you will find that here and there you zone out and have to rewind a bit, but if you are someone who connects with the heart of something rather than the story per se, give this one a try. (The cinematography is also worth the watch on its own.)
I don't understand why it's compelling or why it makes me feel the things I do. Being Human (uk) is the last show to have made me ugly cry. The scene where George dies to be with Nina ... sobfest. Yet the finale of this series did the same thing to me, but I cannot say why. It's not particularly sad or happy and really if I'm honest, nothing really happens in terms of story. But it's inexplicably touching. Maybe it's because it's so vague, one can probably find moments that resonate because we view everything through the lens of our own experiences. I don't know.
It's slow and drawn out and you will find that here and there you zone out and have to rewind a bit, but if you are someone who connects with the heart of something rather than the story per se, give this one a try. (The cinematography is also worth the watch on its own.)
The A List
(2018–2021)
If Nickelodeon had done Lost
28 April 2022
Exactly that. The acting is stiff, the effects are mediocre, the ploy is just ok, the actors don't sell that they're teens, but it's still an enjoyable ride. Kinda like the carousel, no thrills but a fun few minutes. I was laid up with Covid and needed something somewhat entertaining that didn't require me to think about it too much or to pay full attention 100% of the time. This fit the bill.
Another Life
(2019–2021)
Terrible, but a fun ride
10 April 2022
Even if it is frustrating at points. This show isn't going to win awards or leave you with deep existential ponderings. But it's fun enough to watch while working on a hobby (like knitting or puzzle building, etc). It's to sci-fi as Grey's Anatomy is to medical dramas, unrealistic soap opera drama stuck into a niche setting. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. The repetition of goal to interfering drama gets a bit much in some episodes, but meh, if you're already paying for Netflix, worth watching, though I wouldn't pay Netflix just to watch this.
Y: The Last Man
(2021)
Terrible World Building Results in Sexist Slant
6 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
First off, I have not ever read the comic. Was just looking through FX shows and thought I'd try it. Secondly, I only watched four episodes. It's such a squandered opportunity. Fairly quickly it starts feeling sexist (which is somewhat expected given the premise), but it takes a wrong turn. It starts to feel like the world is ending because incompetent women can't run it ... which is just ... I don't understand how focus groups greenlit this in the current climate. The problem is, this is not actually what the show is supposed to be doing (presumably) but they do such a terrible job with world building and exposition that this is how it reads.
From what is shown, I'm betting that the world ending is resultant from two additional factors. Those being that, firstly, many women lost their entire families leading to a certain level of crippling grief and depression causing an inability or unwillingness to participate in rebuilding. Secondly, many of the men who died died while operating things leading to additional groups of people dying to things like car crashes, plane crashes, etc. So the actual population reduction is higher than half.
Additionally, it's not made clear that the ratio of skilled people to tasks (regardless of gender) is such that the elimination of half the workforce would critically damage infrastructure. Instead it's presented as 'oh no, women don't work in this particular field ... all is lost!' Which is unfortunate.
We could have benefitted from an episode establishing the characters before the event so that we would actually care about their losses. And we absolutely would have benefitted from spending time in the actual event other than 'oh, bloodfest, nice ... and they're dead'. Show us the fallout, so we can understand the scope. Surely babies have been born in the days after ... did the boys die at birth? Did males all miscarry? Can males be born again? Zero info given. Is this a one time event? Are we surviving or rebuilding? Are all animals involved or just mammals? So many pertinent things that would have given the story the appropriate weight moving forward.
Lastly, the political intrigue (if you can call it that) happens way too fast. Idgaf about these people yet, what do I care if there's a challenger?
Character wise, it's unfortunate that they chose to build around Yorick. He's the least engaging character on the show. I understand that the premise is built around him, but I feel like a story that seems to be about how a matriarchal world would be different than a patriarchal one and how a man would fit into that world would benefit from being told from both perspectives. Hero is arguably the better hero ... her character is vastly more engaging and complex than manchild Yorick (who BTW gives off major stalker vibes chasing after a girl who wants nothing to do with him) and would be a much better lead with some beefed up storylines.
All in all, this show isn't the worst show, it's just a frustratingly squandered storytelling opportunity. The transgender people angle has wonderful analogy potential. There are so many amazing opportunities to tell relevant stories from this concept: The changing roles of genders in culture. The ethics of procreation and genetic selection. The rights of an individual vs the greater good. But all of it is laid to waste with poor world building, terrible exposition, poor character building, and inexplicable story decisions.
From what is shown, I'm betting that the world ending is resultant from two additional factors. Those being that, firstly, many women lost their entire families leading to a certain level of crippling grief and depression causing an inability or unwillingness to participate in rebuilding. Secondly, many of the men who died died while operating things leading to additional groups of people dying to things like car crashes, plane crashes, etc. So the actual population reduction is higher than half.
Additionally, it's not made clear that the ratio of skilled people to tasks (regardless of gender) is such that the elimination of half the workforce would critically damage infrastructure. Instead it's presented as 'oh no, women don't work in this particular field ... all is lost!' Which is unfortunate.
We could have benefitted from an episode establishing the characters before the event so that we would actually care about their losses. And we absolutely would have benefitted from spending time in the actual event other than 'oh, bloodfest, nice ... and they're dead'. Show us the fallout, so we can understand the scope. Surely babies have been born in the days after ... did the boys die at birth? Did males all miscarry? Can males be born again? Zero info given. Is this a one time event? Are we surviving or rebuilding? Are all animals involved or just mammals? So many pertinent things that would have given the story the appropriate weight moving forward.
Lastly, the political intrigue (if you can call it that) happens way too fast. Idgaf about these people yet, what do I care if there's a challenger?
Character wise, it's unfortunate that they chose to build around Yorick. He's the least engaging character on the show. I understand that the premise is built around him, but I feel like a story that seems to be about how a matriarchal world would be different than a patriarchal one and how a man would fit into that world would benefit from being told from both perspectives. Hero is arguably the better hero ... her character is vastly more engaging and complex than manchild Yorick (who BTW gives off major stalker vibes chasing after a girl who wants nothing to do with him) and would be a much better lead with some beefed up storylines.
All in all, this show isn't the worst show, it's just a frustratingly squandered storytelling opportunity. The transgender people angle has wonderful analogy potential. There are so many amazing opportunities to tell relevant stories from this concept: The changing roles of genders in culture. The ethics of procreation and genetic selection. The rights of an individual vs the greater good. But all of it is laid to waste with poor world building, terrible exposition, poor character building, and inexplicable story decisions.
High Life
(2018)
It's like two different people made this
14 February 2022
In our house a movie is rated between High Life and Casablanca, that's how stunningly terrible High Life is. The first half is beautifully shot and executed with intimacy and wonderful scoring and cinematography. Then it's like someone with a B movie repertoire came upon it in its unfinished state and decided to finish it himself. And then the original person came back and said screw it and just ended it. Imagine if Rembrandt had painted half a painting and his toddler came by and scribbled over it and Rembrandt just sealed it and called it a day. That is this movie. It is two hours of your life you can never get back. When memory erasing technology is invented, I will use it to erase this from my mind (and I have PTSD, I would still rather erase this film).
Paradise Hills
(2019)
Visually worth it
14 February 2022
Even if this film had the worst plot know to man (it doesn't, that honor goes to High Life), it would be worth the watch for the visuals. Wow. The landscapes are stunning, the dressing in the landscapes feels out of place (as intended) and adds to the beautiful surrealism, the sets are wonderfully dressed, the wardrobe has detail on detail (and Eiza Gonzales may be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen). Overall a beautifully, rich visual experience ... even of the story is just so so.
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