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Wings_of_Mercury
Defensive. I feel my position is threatened or inadequately established. I'm determined to pursue my objectives despite the anxiety induced by opposition.
My Stress Sources:
The existing situation is disagreeable. I feel lonely and uncertain as I have an unsatisfied need to ally myself with others whose standards are as high as my own, and I want to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to my self-sufficiency because of the restraint I normally impose on myself. Since I wants to demonstrate the unique quality of my own character, I try to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal my fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize my behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference I really long for the approval and esteem of others.
My Restrained Characteristics:
I become distressed when my needs or desires are misunderstood and I feel that I have no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.
My Desired Objective:
Suffering from the effects of those things which are being rejected as disagreeable, I am strongly resisting them. I just want to be left in peace.
My Actual Problems:
The need for esteem -- for the chance to play some outstanding part and make a name for myself -- has become imperative. I react by insisting on being the center of attention, and refuse to play an impersonal or minor role.
Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, emptiness, and an unadmitted self-contempt. My refusal to admit this leads to my adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude.
Reviews
Speedway Junky (1999)
There's a good movie in there somewhere. . .
I was expecting something good out of this movie -- it being produced by Gus Van Sant and all, the genius behind two incredible gay films, My Own Private Idaho and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. I wouldn't have seen it otherwise because of the inane plot (kid runs off to become a race car driver in West Virginia, and then decides to become a hussler). Luckily, Gus Van Sant's influence is evident in a few scenes, which makes me think there's a good movie in there somewhere.
At times, Speedway Junky feels like a Gen-Y remake of My Own Private Idaho, and it obviously doesn't do its predeccesor justice. However, the two male leads are far less complex and their relationship is as well. Interestingly, the chemistry between them saves this movie from complete obscurity. Too bad they're surrounded by mind-numbingly cliched supporting characters and crumby, juvenile dialogue ("Steven is bisexual. If you buy him something, he'll have sex with you.")
But, like I said, there's a bit of Van Sant in this film, most notably in the scenes between the two protagonists. If the director (incidently, I don't know who directed it) had focused on this relationship more than the hoky prostitution subplot, we would've had some fine gay cinema on our hands. Too bad.
Also, the influence Midnight Cowboy had on this film is mammoth. In both films, a naive guy with a Southern accent comes to the big city with high hopes, but ends up as a john alongside an unlikely friend, who may or may not be an object of desire. The ending is similar too, but I don't want to ruin it in case anyone actually wants to watch either movie.
All in all, bad movie, but if you look closely, you'll see it could've been great. It sadly doesn't come close to its influences: My Own Private Idaho and Midnight Cowboy.