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Reviews
Muzzle (2023)
Who would put their money in a movie like this?
If someone asked me to summarize what the movie was about, I'd seriously struggle.
There's no real point or storyline in this movie. The scenes are out of context and I struggled following the storyline. For example the pathetic attempt at a love relationship - what the heck was that?
1) they say hi
2) they xxx
3) she gets mad at him and leaves
4) they have a child together
What?
Some scenes are with no followup - like athe beef between Aaron's character and a colleague of his. What was the point of that one scene? Didn't add any value or point to the "story". The same goes for the meetings with a psychiatrist - no real dialogue, depth is something to dream about - or point in those scenes.
I found it overly graphic towards the end - unnecessarily so. The ambush at the end of the movie was also kind of a head scratcher - killing 3000 other dogs just to save one? Wasn't the movie called "Muzzle" suggesting it's about love for dogs and the relationship between humans and dogs? That shouldn't include killing those the main character wasn't close to.
Anyhow, I just finished watching the movie and too many thoughts are going through my head - all of them how terrible this movie was. If they had the funding and Aaron, why not make a proper movie with it?
Missing Kenley (2022)
Appalling
I gave it 3 stars to give credit to the tech guys and gals working on this "documentary" in the background. However, I find this piece an absolute joke. The first thing they taught us in Journalism (and never stopped repeating) was that the number one rule is objectivity. The wat this "documentary" ran with absolutely ridiculous accusations by an obviously nutty family (there's no better way of putting it) unsubstantiated by ANY facts and accused people ON TV for everyone to see makes me sick to my stomach. Using a hypnotherapist? Where did all the common sense and decency go? Numbers before feelings? The first episode was very good and it went down the hill from there. Do yourself a favor and go for a day hike and do something good for your health instead of watching this "documentary". Very sad you used a disaapearance of a man like this.
The Man from Earth (2007)
A little disappointed
I was a little disappointed because there is so much potential for this story to get into places. But it's a great concept with low budget I can imagine and some great actors. I think the script should have been improved a lot. Some reactions are under- and others overwhelming. Then again this was a different time for movies. Anyhow, I like the premise a lot. The concept of an immortal human. Alsonone thing that was predictable and should have been striken off was him being Jesus. That was very cringy, even for those times. It would have been much more realistic and interesting if he was "just" someone close to Jesus instead. That killed it for me. All in all a good watch.
Murder on the Cape (2017)
Is there such a thing as "the worst"?
I beg to differ. There's no such thing as the worst. When something gets to the point of being the worst, it starts the loop of good/bad again. Someone else already pointed it out but this movie isn't "bad". It's authentic. And I think that we (not me ") got so used to the artificial Avatar and comic type of movies that we're unable to appreciate the "real". Now I'm someone who believes that movies or stories in general are meant to serve as an escape from reality. And that is true. But it doesn't mean it has to be robot type of artificial. This story, inspired by real events, is close to reality but still not your everyday reality. How many people get to live theought this type of events? Just like true crime genre. It's fascinating to us because it's real but so far detached from our regular lives. What I loved about this movie is that it was LOCAL. Meaning that the majority of actors were regular local people. Not Hollywood unicorns detached from this planet, living in Bubbleville. I don't care how "bad" the acting was, it was authentic although in a roundabout way. All in all I watched this movie more than 10 times. Most of it thanks to the cinematography. If there's one thing I would inprove is the music. That sucked a bit ;)
The Consultant (2023)
From a great start to a disappointing ending
I was first excited about this show being streamed on Prime as they came up with some pretty low quality stuff recently. Unfortunately, as the show progressed, the writers seemed to have ran out of ideas, initially likeable characters ended up extremely unlikeable (whether or not that was the intention I can only guess). Some of the side stories made no sense or were underdeveloped (mama Sang, Patti, Milani, that jeweller, the records room, ... and that's only from the top of my head). I wish they'd put more effort into the story development and this show could have been amazing. But as it is, it's just average at most, with a disappointing ending, unfortunately.
On the Line (2022)
Too bad I can't rate this with negative stars
This is possibly the stupidest crap I watched in the last 25 years. 1) How can anyone come up with an idea for a plot like this and 2) who goes on and says let's make it happen and pour millions into this?! You might as well have burned the money. I also wish Amazon would stop serve us poor quality time killers like this and invest in better movies and shows. I'm seriously considering switching to Apple TV if this is the new standard of movies that is included with the Amazon prime subscription. Acting was ok but it doesn't change an insulting slacker plot like this. Without divulging in spoilers, do yourself a favor and take a nap for 1.5 hours instead. Your mind will thank you.
Longmire (2012)
Cost me a bit of my inner peace
First two seasons were amazing. The pace was just right, interesting characters (except for cheerleader Vic), catchy story, beautiful nature and I even shed a few tears. However, the series should be finish by the end of season 2. From the third onwards the characters turned into corrupt bigger-than-God bullies with questionable morals. In simpler words - extremely unlikable. Not only that, I actually wanted to kick their bums. Thise few characters that were still likeable got very little screen time. I tried to get through a few episodes (I even skipped to season 4 and 5) hoping it's some kind of conflict in the story and everyone will become their normal self again and I'll be able to enjoy a few more episodes. How wrong was I - it only gets down the hill from there. Plus the extremely long scenes are doing my head in - I don't need to watch a person squirm on the floor injured and their daughter crying "it will be ok" for 30 minutes. I understood well he was injured and something bad hppened after a few seconds. Seems like the creators got delusional and thought of it as some sort of abstract art - well, it isn't. It's a cop TV show! I'm not normally a mean person but this is what your characters did to me - awaken all that rage!
TIP: If you want to like this TV show, only watch the first two seasons.
Don't Look Deeper (2020)
Don, Emily - why?
Extraordinarily annoying scenes I had to constantly fast forward, terrible dialogues (I think this is a first complaint about a screenplay for me!), annoying characters and did they not teach you in film school that you don't hurt animals on TV? I made it past the robot giving a BJ, but hurting Picasso was precisely the moment I had to finally switch it off. Plus scenes that didn't make sense - flickering lights in a dark high school toilet although they have robots walking around? Seriously? Not only was this a waste of time but it actually made me a bit angry that the creators slacked off like this and their terrible flick made it onto mainstream media anyway. And actors like Emily Mortimer and Don Cheadle let themselves be bought for a disaster flick like this one. I guess money rules all...
Hellraiser (2022)
Trashiest trash I ever watched
I can't believe I just wasted 30 minutes of my life on this utter crap. Pardon my French but there is no better way to express how bad this movie is. No offence to the creators, because it takes money and effort to produce a movie but I want the £1.99 I paid to RENT this movie back! Makes no sense, screenplay is extremely annoying and overall is just a waste of time, money and resources. If you're thinking about watching this save yourself time, money and annoyance and DON'T and just donate it instead. Or buy some ice cubes. I don't know because it doesnreally matter. Any other way to spend this money is better than on this... thing.
While We're Young (2014)
Boring, annoying, pointless
A movie doesn't need to have an intellectual value or a deeper meaning. Being entertaining is often everything it takes. In fact, many of my favorite movies are pretty shallow. They have one thing in common though - they leave me feeling something. Emotions are what counts. The only emotion this movie left me with were annoyance and regret over the lost time I will never get back. Extremely annoying and weak plot, boring dialogue, unimpressive cinematography. If it didn't have Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts in lead roles, it would have been a complete flop. Of course, this is only on person's opinion.
Soulmates (2020)
Very, very, very bad
This show is basically about a bunch of people who can't appreciate what they have and who should not be in a relationship to begin with. I like the top level idea about exploring the concept of soulmates, however, in this show for some reason only taken people take the soulmate test. Was that the purpose? To show that relationships suck and there's no such thing as love? Or that no matter how good we have it, we still want something better? I'm really not sure.
If this show did anything for me besides annoying the heck out of my core existence - was reminding me why I'm not in a relationship.
Do yourself a favor and skip this one. Unless you're a spoiled entitled brat and want to feel like you're not alone.
Blonde (2022)
Thanks Hollywood for ruining Marilyn's legacy
First, the K woman who rose to fame through a sex tape wears Marilyn's dress because she's rich and nobody dares to say no to her; and now out of all the classy actresses you could pick from, this particularly annoying actress was selected to portray the legend? I'm scared to even think about what comes next on this parade. Thank you Hollywood for systematically working on destroying the legacy of a one-of-a-kind icon that Marilyn Monroe was. I get it, she was a moneymaker. There's just one moral question I have to ask: Wasn't it enough to milk her while she was alive, does it have to continue after her death? This makes me very sad.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Whoever created the trailer got me worried
The wait is over! And what can I say? It was well worth the wait. After my initial pre-disappointment since seeing the trailer, I was impatiently waiting to see the movie. And I'm happy to say I absolutely love the sequel to my beloved original movie. It still won't be as much of a sentiment as the first movie, but it is permanently placed on my rewatch list. It's so good to see the good old Sanderson sisters again, as well as their backstory. It would only be better if the original characters were involved, but that is just a nice to have. Well done to everyone & thank you for bringing a piece of our childhood back.
5 Flights Up (2014)
Love it
Ahh the peer pressure... why does every comment mention "poor script" and "fake dialogue"? One person already said it, there's no need to keep repeating something over and over again. There's nobody to impress, nobody really cares about these reviews. Why? Not because I'm an ahole, but because like every form of art, our perception of movies is also subjective.
I personally love this movie. It's one of my favorites and I watched it more times one probably should. There's something very innocent in this story. This is how "the dialogue" would be if there was such thing as "the perfect relationship" and "the perfect, unconditional love". This is how all stories would go, if we lived in a perfect world. And isn't this the exact purpose of movies and stories in general? A gift we were given to escape our often sad, mundane or hectic, unfulfilled lives - and feel better?
I really don't know what people were expecting from this movie - an intelectual masterpiece? This movie is SUPPOSED to be heartwarming and naive and sentimental - that's the purpose of this genre in case you missed the memo.
I love the story (also bought the book), I love the acting, dialogue, setting, music and it's also visually very satisfying. It's taking place in New York City - the best city in the world! ;)
Now put away that Nietsche book and go get a cup of hot cocoa instead. Learn to relax and slow down. Appreciate the little silly things in life.
The Captive (2014)
Disjointed to a fault
I did rate this movie at 9 stars simply because I liked the overall vibe of the movie - the acting was first class and the snowy Canada mood is bewitching. And for that reason, I am willing to ignore the many issues with this movie.
Like many pointed out already, the timeline is extremely disjointed - to a fault. It often doesn't make sense. At one point I even forgot that Ryan Reynolds was in it and when he returned, it was a nice surprise. Oh, hey Ryan!
Another issue I had with this movie are the many random characters popping up left and right. You see them once and they seem important to the story, but you don't get to know anything about them. And as quickly as they appeared, as quickly they are gone again - not adding any value or substance to the story. What was the point?
I can see why it has such poor ratings and it makes me sad because this movie has a great potential but the creators failed to deliver.
Having said all of the above, I still watched the movie several times, simply because I'm an emotional movie nut.
Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003)
She DID give YOU the finger
Because you used her for sensationalism and your own ulterior motives. Just like everyone else in her life. I pray for Aileen and I'm glad she's in a better place now. The society failed Aileen.
Rescued by Ruby (2022)
What a beautiful movie
Many wrote in their reviews how corny, predictable, badly made this movie was. All I can say is that those people probably have a certain type of sociopathy. This is such a beautiful story that just proves how amazing animals are and how little credit we're giving them. I enjoyed the movie very much and prefer it to annoying superhero movies everytime. Please make more movies like this 💛
Master (2022)
What is this?
Is this even a story? There's literally no plot. Even if condensed into a 5 min trailer, it still would have no story at all. And the pseudo-racism portreyal where white = evil and black = victim is very damaging to a progressive evolution of our society.
Bosch: Legacy (2022)
Finally some character development
Oh boy, how long I've been waiting for this over the 7 (!) seasons to happen. 2 episodes in and I love the personalities change and develop to the next stage. Keep 'em coming.
The Holiday (2021)
Very annoying and dragged out
If this was an artistic student movie, it'd be ok-ish. For a tv show very poor. Good concept but terrible execution. Every character is annoying beyond words, their actions (or rather lack of it) make you feel they deserve everything that's happening to them. Talking about things happening, you won't find it in this masterpiece of boredom. Everything is dragged out but instead of creating tension, the only thing it's inducing is coma. A coma you'd be thankful for if it meant forgetting about ever watching this.
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
A breath of fresh air
In times when TV shows are written on the wheels of political correctness, this show delivers some much needed oxygen to our almost collapsed lungs. Not only was this a TV show I truly enjoyed watching, it is filled with gems of jokes that make you lough out loud like there's no tomorrow. I suspect my neighbors think I'm on "something" and I don't care. I applaud all the creators for this great, very human piece of work.
Nobody (2021)
Oscar nominee
I really hope this gets nominated. Although we all know how Oscars work... This movie is not just an action movie. In times of comic book adaptations, this movie is a very much needed refresher. Artistically it's a one of a kind masterpiece. A super simple plot made into this? Watched it twice today and it made me feel like the good old movie times of the 2000s.
And Just Like That... (2021)
And just like that... my favorite series got ruined
I was first excited to hear they're going to make a reboot but now I wish they never did. 8 minutes into the first episode I wish I'd never put it on. Their acting had gone south, all you can focus on is botox, they dealt with no Samantha in such an unsamantha way. I can't imagine Samantha ditching Carrie as a friend just because she ditched her as a publicist. I need to look up who wrote it because everything about this is terrible. I can't believe I'm saying this about my all time favorite TV show. I'm switching it off and hopefully still can save my feelings towards SATC. This is nothing like SATC, it's a FLOP - and it happened "just like that..." :(
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
What's with the agenda?
Don't get me wrong, I loved this movie. It's fun and entertaining and there's a lot of original content from the 80s. However, I think it's kind of predictable. First come the women (2016) with extremely brief appearances of the original cast which on top of it considers the female Ghostbusters lunatics. Then comes the children's version (2021). Who can hate on children? Nobody. Plus the original plot and cast is more prevalent. So of course people are going to be hating on 2016 female version even more. Mark my words, next will be a movie entirely or predominantly made with the original cast - make way for the boys! Not sure if it's intentional or not but in any case it's sad how the gender gap is still there. I'd rate this movie higher if there wasn't a hidden agenda. Call me illuminati or whatever but this is not a conspiracy theory. Just a truth that seems so absurd it looks like one. We've got a long way to go.
True Tori (2014)
Hard to watch
If this is what some consider entertainment then we as humanity are sinking way too deep. The first few episodes were ok to watch but as the emotional blackmail keeps escalating I found ot more and more difficult to watch. I hate questioning people's parenting skills but what I've seen there broke my heart. Not the affair, but how these 2 peoples' actions impact those poor innocent kids. Tori having breakdowns (real or not - who knows and I don't care) in front of her children all while she's complaininghow she was allegedly neglected as a child is extremely hypocritical and a terrible thing to do. I don't care if this show is scripted or not or if the affair is made up to get the show rolling - the bottom line is children are unable to make this distinction and even though an adult (!) might think they have explained it, their thinking just is not there developmentally yet! I feel very sad for thise children and I hope they won't be marked by their parrents' desperate cries for attention and ratings. <3.