veebee2 Reviews

The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981)

There's a good movie in there somewhere

[6/10 · 29 January 2024]

I remember this being made and released back in the early 80's. Pre-production was dominated by the ban on Clayton Moore wearing the black mask which seemed petty and spiteful (because it was), during production stories appeared about the behavior of Klinton Spilsbury on and off set which lost him a lot of good will as a first-time actor in a major role (even worse than George Lazenby's roasting as the first non-Connery James Bond), and on release everyone was completely underwhelmed and another nail was put in the coffin of Lew Grade becoming a Hollywood mogul, coming right after the previous year's 'Raise the Titanic!'.

And yet... and yet... the movie isn't actually that bad. The production values are very good and the direction, photography and editing are generally excellent. The central plot is also intriguing. The only problem is you feel these qualities were wasted on the slow development of the story, and the performances of the lead actors. The politest word for these would be "uncharismatic".

Juanin Clay is lovely to look at but is she changes from being a feisty independent-minded type to a fluttering Victorian maiden as soon as Klinton Spilsbury flashes his perfect, white teeth at her. As for Spilsbury himself, there is more life in the rock formations of Monument Valley than he can bring to the screen.

Overall, the film is worth seeing at least once, but as a film fan you will have to be prepared to contain your frustration at seeing good film-making thrown away in a second-rate effort.

Sherlock Holmes in New York (1976 TV Movie)

Hopefully this was meant as a spoof

[3/10 · 21 May 2023]

I can only hope this non-Conan Doyle effort assembled its cast in order to give some depth and star power to what was intended to be an affectionate pastiche' of the world of Sherlock Holmes and provide a few "fish out of water" laughs as our intrepid Victorian heroes of Baker Street W1 are faced with turn of the century New York in 1901.

Sing lackaday and lamentations, but the whole thing falls as flat as a failed soufflé and becomes unbearable after the first ten minutes. The trouble starts with John Huston's turn as Moriarty. Chewing the scenery doesn't come close to describing his performance as he snarls "Blast ya, Holmes! Blasy, blast ya, blast ya!" when another nefarious scheme is thwarted by the World's Greatest Detective (rather obviously "disguised" as Colonel Moran from 'The Empty House').

Roger Moore as Holmes is obviously playing tongue in cheek, but when didn't he? His James Bond was a suave, teflon-coated ladies' man, as was Simon Templar in 'The Saint'. It was an endearing trait of Moore's not to take himself seriously as an actor, but here it really works against him as he is unable to convey any of Holmes's mental powers and his 'detection' just ends up looking silly.

Patrick Macnee's Watson is straight out the Nigel Bruce School for Bumbling Sidekicks - huffing about the lack of Native Americans in NYC. Charlotte Rampling turns the resourceful and inteeligent Irene Adler into a fluttering, helpless Victorian out of a creaky melodrama.

Either this was intended as a spoof, or the cast realised the cheesiness of the enterprise and decided to play for laughs. Whatever the reason, the film does not come off at all.

The Third Key (1956)

Great entertainment

[9/10 · 21 March 2023]

While 'The Long Arm' has no pretentions to be socially aware (unlike the same studio's 'The Blue Lamp' from a few years earlier) it is a fascinating look at the nuts and bolts of 1950's police work, and very entertaining in its own right.

The film follows Tom Halliday (Jack Hawkins) and Sgt Ward (John Stratton) as they piece together the evidence to solve a series of safebreakings. The relationship is punctuated by good chemistry between the actors and nice touches of humour (Hawkins orders "a lemonade for my boy" when he takes the non-drinking sergeant into a pub).

The whole film is almost worth watching for the short scene in which the sergeant is trying to track down a single copy of a newspaper with a circulation of over three million. The editor explains how things which look trivial to a casual glance contain information about where it was printed, which edition it was, and even the actual printing press used, narrowing the target from three million to a few thousand in a specific area.

The domestic scenes are a little trite (worried wife, disappointed son) but don't take up too much screen time, and it almost goes without saying that real detectives (even in the 1950's) were probably more like Regan and Carter in the 1970's "Sweeney", than the well-spoken, highly-principled Tom Halliday. Still, the film is well worth watching and deserves better recognition for its good storytelling and professionalism.

BBC Play of the Month: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1976) Season 12, Episode 1

A thoughtful approach to Wilde's only novel

[6/10 · 24 February 2023]

Rather than exploit the classic tale for its horrific aspect (the moral corruption of an apparently ideal young man), this adaptation looks to the philosophical or intellectual side of things: what are the natures of good and evil; does it really matter if we are one or the other; isn't human life and society just a sham on so many levels we may as well do what we like?

Most of this debate takes place in scenes between the artist Hallward (Brett) and Henry Wootton (Gielgud). And the debate goes on at length, several times through the production. Hallward is sincere and human, while Wootton is cynical and superficial and insists in talking in aphorisms (fine in small doses, but when every line becomes a piece of carefully crafted repartee, it feels overdone). Between them they battle for the soul of their mutual friend Dorian Gray (Firth).

In my view this adaptation falls short in breaking the classic writer's rule: "show, don't tell". We are told that Gray is engaging in the most disgraceful activities, that he is banned from some houses, that people actively avoid him, but when Firth appears you can't take this anything like seriously. He is rather camp, and behaves like a teenager in a sulk now and again, but there are no signs of him revelling in cruelty and immorality behind that eternal, androgenous beauty.

A few years after this, the BBC produced an adaptation of 'Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde' with David Hemmings. Taking a more graphic view of Hyde's crimes give this story (which has a very similar theme) far more impact.

Department S: Who Plays the Dummy? (1969) Season 2, Episode 1

A good episode with the usual Department S quirks

[9/10 · 22 February 2023]

Department S is a high-level unit of Interpol, and is handed cases which have mystified government police departments. In this case, a car crashes in rural Spain and the driver turns out to be a tailor's dummy - wearing an Old Etonian tie. This McGuffin sets the scene for another serving of ITC action and intrigue (see also: The Saint, The Baron, The Champions, The Persuaders!, Danger Man, etc.).

Re-watching the programmes over 50 years later (how did that happen?!), they can still provide good entertainment if you don't take them seriously.

Things which bring a smile today are cars driving through the English countryside on the wrong side of the road to show we are really in France or Spain, body doubles used in fight scenes and second-unit work which look nothing like their originals, and in this episode a white Jaguar being driven over a cliff and smashing onto the rocks below. This was a standard item in the ITC film library (along with grainy establishing shots of Paris or Lisbon which cut to a studio set with a painted backdrop outside the window) and it was a point of honour among scriptwriters to try to write it into an episode. In this adventure we're even treated to a corner of a Spanish field which seems identical in two different locations.

Well, who needs culture? The programmes are solidly made, entertaining, more or less stand the test of time - and Rosemary Nicols is a pip!

Cold Comfort Farm (1968– )

Misses its mark

[6/10 · 20 February 2023]

I was very much looking forward to seeing this. The cast looked very promising (especially Alastair Sim) and the BBC has a high reputation when bringing classic literature to the screen.

Somehow, somewhere, it all went wrong. Even by the standards of 1968 it is obviously studio bound, and the sets are so cramped you never get the idea of the farmhouse as a house, just the corner of a room here, a gate in the farmyard there. The camera set-ups are such that the main action always seems to be obscured by something in the foreground. The director also seems to be well on-board with the 60's 'sexual revolution' (basically people stopped hiding what they'd been doing anyway) and we are treated to shots of 'ploughing' (fnrr-fnrr) cut with a woman writhing in ecstasy in the main titles. There's also a bit of a manure fetish going on for some reason.

I was disappointed in the performances, which are too broad. The Starkadders are grotesques, but they need to be kept within bounds or they just look silly. There is so much ranting and raving in the first episode that it isn't so much funny as tiresome, especially by Billy Russell. Even Alastair Sim only gets into his stride during the sermon to the Quivering Brethren in part two. Sarah Badel is a bright and level-headed Flora, and Rosalie Crutchley makes a good Judith, but not enough to surpass the hint of madness in Eileen Atkins' eyes in the Schlesinger version.

It's not just the age of the production which is the problem here, it's the tricksiness of the director and his indulgence of the actors. I give it six stars because Alastair Sim is in it, but even he is not at his best.

John Halifax, Gentleman (1974– )

Typical BBC adaptation of its time

[8/10 · 10 August 2022]

There was a time when late on Sunday afternoon the BBC would broadcast adaptations of 'classic' (i.e. 19th Century and out of copyright) novels. They were generally unpretentious, undemanding programmes, entertaining but giving off an air of intellectual respectability by being performed in period costume.

'John Halifax, Gentleman' was a good example of the genre, and a good example of Victorian morality, being the story of an orphan who, through a combination of hard work, thrift and moral integrity, becomes a successful businessman and pillar of his community. Being a good Victorian he also makes a solid marriage and is devoted to his wife and family.

I wonder if this still exists in the BBC archives. It might be interesting to see again.

Revolver (1978– )

Ahead of its time

[8/10 · 4 May 2022]

In 1978 UK television had two major shows devoted to popular music, both produced by the BBC: Top of the Pops, which was the televisual equivalent of girls dancing round their handbags at the local dancehall (while being groped by the DJ, as we now know), and; The Old Grey Whistle Test, for those who took music *really seriously*, (superbly parodied by Eric Idle on Rutland Weekend Television as featuring Stan Fitch, "the first all dead singer", literally a corpse propped up in a chair with a guitar).

Then the commercial broadcaster came up with 'Revolver'. It had a deliberately unprofessional, ramshackle look (a tatty nightclub), and a deliberately provocative presenter who didn't give a stuff about the music, despised the kids who turned up to listen, and was openly in it for the money. The presenter was no less than Peter Cook, the Cambridge-educated darling of sophisticated satire.

No wonder people didn't 'get' the concept or appreciate the programme - TV was supposed to be slick and professional, not a bit of a mess with presenter and audience trading insults ("I fought two world wars for you to be alive!"). Looking back, the mistake was to have Cook separate from the audience. If they had been together, and Cook's improvisation skills had been engaged, the results could have been even more memorable.

By the early 80's we had 'The Tube' on Channel 4 which had something of the same look as Revolver, and the same slightly shambolic air, but not afraid of putting out really new and different music. Revolver just missed its target and was just a few years ahead of its time.

One Week (1920)

A revelation

[10/10 · 17 January 2022]

For Christmas I was presented with a complete set of Buster Keaton's short films - newly restored - and it is complete, as it starts with his earliest work with Roscoe Arbuckle in 1917.

I felt honour bound to watch them in chronological order, and I was very glad to see the back of the Arbuckle films. I'm sure he was a great comedian in his day, and the injustice he suffered over Virginia Rappé was horrendous, but his films are so repetitive: people fall over, people chase each other, people throw food/oil/mud at each other, people fall into water, people are soaked with water. Whether his films are set in a restaurant or a garage, you know what will happen just as night follows day.

I read that when Keaton started in his films Arbuckle told him a movie audience had a mental age of eight. Keaton replied: "They won't stay eight forever." He knew audiences would grow in sophistication and expect more from their entertainment.

This very first Keaton short shows the difference between talent and genius. First, the film has a definite time structure, with days torn off a calendar to emphasise the passing of time and therefore plot structure. The visual humour follows 'Keaton's law' - however outrageous a gag is, the audience must believe it could actually happen. I will hold up my hand and say I did once saw a piece of wood while sitting on it, only for it to collapse under me - it CAN be done, folks (I just didn't fall about ten feet like Buster). Would a house revolve on its axis in a storm? Maybe not, but the sight of Buster hanging on to the building for dear life, and repeatedly trying to jump in the front door and missing always makes me laugh out loud.

There are enough ideas in a Keaton short for ten films by anyone else. My wife asked me if he realised he was being so clever, and I say no, it was just how his mind worked. This is a great little film by a really great film-maker.

A Chorus of Disapproval (1989)

The choice of director is stupefying

[2/10 · 3 May 2021]

If you're looking for someone to direct a very pointed comedy of modern manners and morality, do you really want to entrust the task to someone best known for directing violent revenge thrillers starring Charles Bronson and a ghastly remake of The Big Sleep (set in 1970's England, for God's sake)?

Michael Winner liked to present himself as a bon viveur who didn't take himself or his films too seriously but how he got this gig is beyond me. If there is a wrong way to frame a shot or a wrong place to put the camera, a wrong moment to cut (to a reverse shot, or away from a close-up during an intimate, reavealing speech), he will unerringly find it, his ability is uncanny.

Seriously, I have never seen a fine script or such a talented cast trashed so comprehensively. Only those who haven't seen the fine craftsmanship of the play, or can ignore the clodhopping direction, could find this entertaining. Alan Ayckbourn has co-writing credit and I can't imagine what he felt as Winner trampled the qualities of the original under foot.

I award two stars for the views of Scarborough which gave me a pang of nostalgia (the Castle Community Centre where the cast rehearse is just along the road from our former home).

Mid Life Christmas (2009 TV Movie)

Sad farewell

[5/10 · 26 April 2021]

This was probably Victoria Wood's last major TV venture before her death in 2016, and like 'Love Happy' for the Marx Brothers, 'Atoll K' for Laurel and Hardy, and 'Night Train to Murder' for Morecambe and Wise, it is a sad ending. It really does feel as if Wood's invention has run dry and she has nothing more to offer: the costume drama spoof is a retread of her Jane Austen spoof from the 'With All the Trimmings' show of a decade earlier, and far less witty; she resurrects one of her best-loved characaters of a quarter century before; and the Mid-Life Olympics is not sharp enough to skewer our obsession with sport and TV pundit-speak (judging from the 'Making Of' documentary a fair bit of this ended up on the cutting room floor).

It was a sad day when Victoria Wood died, but reading the comments under her newspaper obituaries I couldn't help but have the nagging feeling that most of them referred to her glory days in the 1980's - thirty years earlier. Had she been given a longer life she may have been able to open up in new directions. This show just exposed that the humour that had won her so much affection had really lost its edge. To use the phrase the English use to avoid being too cutting, it's "not bad".

Minikillers (1969)

What *was* Diana Rigg up to?

[10/10 · 2 October 2020]

In 1969 Diana Rigg was at the high point of her (large and small) screen career. Just finished with 'The Avengers', she was about to appear in the lavish period romp 'The Assassination Bureau' with Oliver Reed and a great supporting cast, directed by Basil Dearden, and her classic Bond role Tracey DiVicenzo in 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service'. So what was she doing appearing in not one, but two, cheap, wordless, German-produced films made in Super8 format which were shot in Spain?

These films were never part of Diana Rigg's official filmography and she never mentioned them in interviews even as a self-deprecating joke. I have a private theory as to what was behind these films, but it is only a personal guess. I remember reading in the early 1970's that Diana had a holiday home in a remote part of the island of Majorca. My personal guess is she needed to prove some kind of legal reason or need to be resident in Spain in order to buy property there. So she made this couple of quickies to say to the authorities: "Look! I work in Spain so I have a right/need to live here." Then she bought her holiday home.

None of which is a review of the film, so I will just say they are cheap but not without a kind of amateurish charm. Diana Rigg is by far the best thing about them and looks wonderful. To her credit she does not just go through the motions, but fills the screen with charm and charisma whenever she appears.

I have no shame in saying I fell in love with Diana Rigg as Emma Peel and still do, not just as a pin-up - she was smart, funny and life-enhancing, and never lost her essential beauty. I saw her several times on stage and she was tremendous. Her death came as a real blow and although I never met her, even as just a fan I will miss knowing she's around.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Didn't like it - sorry

[4 January 2002]

I side with the nay-sayers on this one. The film is tedious to watch (another reviewer has noted the action-talk-action-talk pattern the screenplay follows), the swirling visuals (especially in the fight scenes) are sick-making and confusing, and considering the literary basis for the film the script is decidedly illiterate.

A great disappointment, especially as I took my son promising him a magical cinema experience. He simply didn't know what was going on. I'm afraid the next two will have to recover their costs without our help.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

A fairy tale of New York?

[4 January 2002]

This is an excellent thriller. It has a simple, clearly defined plot and tension arises from the interaction of the characters and the tight time-scale insisted on by the hijackers (the hijack is run in almost real-time on screen - the remaining 40 minutes are prologue and epilogue).

It may seem simplistic to have a 'cross-section' of New Yorkers in one car of one subway train, but this now seems like a social snap-shot of the New York of the 70's, dilapidated and crime- and strike-ridden. Is it my imagination or does the film's mayor bear a strange, vague resemblance to Ed Koch?

I used to work as a tour guide of historic York, England. You could always bet there would be one Japanese tourist wanting a tour at 9 on a wet Sunday morning. People asked if I was ever tempted to talk a load of rubbish. I never was, and Walter Matthau's experience in this film is the reason!

First Men in the Moon (1964)

1899: a space odyssey!

[4 January 2002]

Warning: spoilers!!

This is a charming and very entertaining piece of science-fiction/fantasy. It has a literate screenplay (by Nigel Kneale, author of the Quatermass stories) which manages to combine fun with the more serious ideas of Wells's novel.

There are some sly digs at science itself. Modern-day astronauts nervously check "environment telemetry" before leaving their computer-equipped lunar module. Our heroes leave their 1899 craft dressed in diving suits. After all "What keeps water out, keeps air in" - simple!

The inhumanity of lunar society (with its strict division of labour and the enforced suspended animation of the 'unemployed') is shown without slowing down the action. This reflects Wells's concerns and his use of the Selenites as a warning of the growing inhumanity he saw on Earth (the Morlocks in 'The Time Machine' are another example).

The characters are well drawn and Lionel Jeffries never fails to move me as he makes his fateful decision to stay on the moon, true to his need to learn and placing himself as a hostage for the human race.