calilawyer Reviews

The Adam Project (2022)

Derivative and contrived

[5/10 · 4 June 2024]

Reynolds and the child version of Reynolds become annoying really fast. All plot points and scenes are derivative of much better movies. Writing is contrived. The only worthwhile parts are in the third act, including the end scene with Ruffalo and the two Adam's and the very last scene with Reynolds and Saldana

Reynolds and the child version of Reynolds become annoying really fast. All plot points and scenes are derivative of much better movies. Writing is contrived. The only worthwhile parts are in the third act, including the end scene with Ruffalo and the two Adam's and the very last scene with Reynolds and Saldana.

Shabd (2005)

Trash

[2/10 · 1 June 2024]

Unbelievable plot. Pimping out your wife to inspire your writing? Garbage. An ugly guy like Sanjay Dutt having a wife like aishwarya who looks at least 20 years younger? Even worse is Zayed Khan's acting. Couldn't be worse if he was actually trying. Totally miscast and wrong for the role. Overreacting/hammy and those teeth, damn. Aish acted well but her willingness to hide her marriage was not convincing. Dutt's stupid grin throughout was annoying. Only watch to look at Aish during her prime.

Filler to hit character requirement.

Filler to hit character requirement.

Filler to hit character requirement.

Cocktail (2012)

Cliched trash

[4/10 · 24 March 2024]

Only redeeming factors are two gorgeous female lead actresses looking their best. And character played by Boman Iraní. Saif Ali Khan looks good but his acting and the character he depicts are terrible.

Only redeeming factors are two gorgeous female lead actresses looking their best. And character played by Boman Iraní. Saif Ali Khan looks good but his acting and the character he depicts are terrible.

Only redeeming factors are two gorgeous female lead actresses looking their best. And character played by Boman Iraní. Saif Ali Khan looks good but his acting and the character he depicts are terrible.

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... (2001)

A Bollywood epic?

[7/10 · 13 March 2024]

PROS:

1. Hrithik Roshan is great in his role. His interactions with his estranged family and his brother carry the most emotional weight in the movie.

2. Jaya Bachan is excellent.

3. Amitabh is great although I didn't buy some of his character's motivations and decisions, however, that has more to do with the writing.

4. SRK is good although a bit crabby as the head of household. Surprisingly, I don't think he had much to do in this movie.

CONS:

1. Unconvincing plot. I don't buy SRK would directly disobey his father for a woman he met a couple of days ago. Then after intending to break things off with her after his father has voiced his disapproval (due to the respect he has for him) he does a 180 and shotguns the decision to elope with her solely based on the death of her father. It just isn't believable. I also don't buy that Amitabh would disown his child, whom he clearly loved so much and was willing to do anything for, solely based on his choice of whom to marry.

2. Overacting by Kajol in literally every scene she is in. She is terrible.

3. Overacting by Kareena Kapoor as Poo especially in cringe scenes where she is acting like she is all that, claiming how hot she is and speaking in a fake British accent. The makeup is so caked on in some scenes that she looks like a tr@NN¥. Thankfully, her performance tones down and becomes much more restrained as the film progresses. She becomes a lot more likable.

4. How does the mom sense her son arrives every time before she sees him? Hmmm, could be that he arrives in a helicopter directly in front of the house? LOL.

5. The reveal that Hrithik is SRK's brother is underwhelming and there is no way the Indian kid memorized that whole speech or sang that song in front of everyone. There are many other ways the big reveal could have happened and this seemed like an odd choice.

6. Extremely melodramatic.

Maybe I Do (2023)

Gets a 5 for the cast

[5/10 · 10 March 2024]

PROS:

A list talent (minus the young male lead) who all looked their best

Emma Roberts, would put a ring on it with no hesitations!

Richard Gere's hair is phenomenal lol

Susan Sarandon is great here.

William Macy

-Did you have sex with my husband?

-No.

-Someone should LOL

Thankfully the older actors stories take front stage as the young couple's story was relatively weak

CONS:

Ridiculous plot. Two married couples unknown to one another whom the partners are cheating on each other with? Can't make that stuff up.

Some of the dialogue seemed very out of place

Diane Keaton and what is going on with her teeth?

How do you marry a person you love? Worst line in movie history? Maybe, but definitely the worst line in this movie.

Young male lead actor

Fighting in front of the parents seemed very unrealistic

Emma Roberts character came off as desperate and I couldn't understand the guy's dilemma in deciding whether to marry her or not.

Dil Se.. (1998)

Talk about desperate...

[5/10 · 8 March 2024]

PROS:

• Songs
• Gets better in the third act

CONS:

• SRK is creepy AF. The girl said she's not interested in you and to stop following her, so you hop on her bus to follow her home? That is not normal. Stalker.

• Continuing to pursue her after she says she is married and to stop following her? Obsessive. Disgusting. Deserved the ass whooping he got and much more

• That whole scene where the lead actress is hyperventilating? What was that about?

-unconvincing plot where the hero seems to have no self worth as he constantly stands ready to blow up his life up, his family's lives, and others all for a woman that shows him zero interest in return

• Many other absurd scenes.

Terminator Genisys (2015)

The third act tanks the overall rating.

[3/10 · 29 February 2024]

PROS

1. Arnold is back 2. Cool concept in that it revisits the time of the original movie and judgment day

CONS

1. Bad CGI throughout 2. 5'0" childsized childfaced actress playing Sarah Connor is totally miscast as the intense "badass" version of the character 3. The actor that plays Kyle Reese is also comparatively weak relative to the actor that played him in T1 4. The "nexus" and remembering two timelines did not make sense.

5. Actor playing John Connor seemed miscast and was difficult to look at 6. Failed attempts at humor 80% of the time 7. Arnold's portrayal of the character seems off from his depiction in parts 1 to 3. Fails to channel the same diction and demeanor.

8. John Connor as the bad guy? Unnecessary and just no.

9. All goes downhill from 2017 onward except JK Simmons and older Arnie 10. CGI at the end is even more TERRIBLE and the events get more and more ludicrous as it becomes comical and unwatchable.

Terminator Salvation (2009)

Way too many misses

[4/10 · 28 February 2024]

CONS:

1. Christian Bale is totally miscast as John Connor

2. Inconsistent depictions of John Connor in T2, T3, and T4.

3. Why on earth was Christian Bale using the Bat voice in a Terminator movie?

4. Two main leads are speaking with obvious British and Australian accents throughout despite both supposedly being born and bred Americans.

5. Kyle Reese is the key to everything? Probably not bro, but he is the key to your own existence. Way to be objective? Lol.

6. The hot girl turning on her entire resistance squad to free the part man part machine based on him saving her night one life is unconvincing, especially when it has been explained to her that a terminator would do just that in order to gain her trust and gain access to their private facility for nefarious purposes. There is nothing Worthington does to rebut this and she acts purely based on a "feeling" meanwhile putting the whole human race in jeopardy.

7. John Connor as the leader of the resistance also trusting the part man part machine based on its own conviction that it is truly human is also far fetched/unbelievable and would certainly demonstrate poor judgment and leadership. Especially after everything John has been through. He obviously knows better.

8. No time travel elements or timelines explored in this installment

9. Half machine finds out he is an infiltration unit and has completed exactly what cybernet intended just manually removes a chip and is a free man? To think it was that easy all along.

10. Oddly felt the movie focused more on the half machine than John Connor, which is a bizarre choice given the whole series should revolve around him.

11. Would have been really cool if it ended up being a "true prequel" to the original terminator with an older Reese being sent back to save Sarah Connor at the end

12. Connor and wife story is barely explored and lacks chemistry and conviction.

13. What was the point of the kid with Reese?

14. No Arnold :(

15. Even worse than Arnold is bad CGI Arnold

PROS:

1. Post judgment day American wasteland seemed kind of cool

2. The whole movie is entirely set in the post apocalyptic future with no time travel, a big shift from prior installments. However, this is also a con as the future itself is a letdown and makes me wish more time travel elements were incorporated.

3. General Ashdown as the leader we actually need.

4. Picks up on the Connor-Reese relationship that was described in T1

5. Moon Bloodgood is FINE. I'm surprised we never saw more of her.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Decent movie, bad John Connor, undoubtedly went downhill after this installment...

[8/10 · 28 February 2024]

All in all, this is an enjoyable flick with the following highs and lows.

1. LOW: John Connor is portrayed as a pathetic and wimpy character that feels very inconsistent with the young John Connor we were introduced to in T2.

2. HIGH: The female terminator and the actress playing her were both surprisingly great.

3. LOW: the actor cast to play John Connor was also terrible and seemed unfit/miscast. FWIW, Claire Danes did better in her role.

4. HIGH: Ah-Nuld

5. LOW: the whole scene with Claire's father and their infiltration of the complex, then somehow a single aircraft is left undestroyed by the self aware Skynet enabling them to escape? How convenient!

6. HIGH: the reveal that Connor was killed in the future by the same terminator

7. LOW: attempts to humanize Arnold to override his programming after he is reprogrammed to want to kill John. A machine would not be capable of such emotion or being persuaded by John Connor's appeal to his emotions.

8. HIGH: the depiction of judgment day in real time.

Ali Wong: Don Wong (2022 TV Special)

90% of jokes about how men suck and wanting to cheat on your husband?

[4/10 · 27 January 2024]

Joking about wanting to sleep around outside of your marriage is distasteful irrespective of gender and I don't know of many male comedians doing this, but I guess this is female empowerment in this age? I laughed maybe 3 times. Not surprised to hear that she got divorced after this. 90% of the theme of this special revolve around her disdain of men, and more specifically, her own husband. Including being sexually unfulfilled. Wow. Her first special was one of the best of all time in my opinion, second was mediocre and this was brutal.

Joking about wanting to sleep around outside of your marriage is distasteful irrespective of gender and I don't know of many male comedians doing this, but I guess this is female empowerment in this age? I laughed maybe 3 times. Not surprised to hear that she got divorced after this. 90% of the theme of this special revolve around her disdain of men, and more specifically, her own husband. Including being sexually unfulfilled. Wow. Her first special was one of the best of all time in my opinion, second was mediocre and this was brutal.

Get Smart (2008)

Meh

[6/10 · 9 November 2023]

Same plot has been done a million times before. Nothing new here. Elevated by the star cast here. Not exceptionally funny but there are a few laughs. Anne Hathaway is great (and incredibly easy on the eyes), Carrell is good. Way too similar to I Spy which released in 2002.

Same plot has been done a million times before. Nothing new here. Elevated by the star cast here. Not exceptionally funny but there are a few laughs. Anne Hathaway is great (and incredibly easy on the eyes), Carrell is good. Way too similar to I Spy which released in 2002.

Same plot has been done a million times before. Nothing new here. Elevated by the star cast here. Not exceptionally funny but there are a few laughs. Anne Hathaway is great (and incredibly easy on the eyes), Carrell is good. Way too similar to I Spy which released in 2002.

Om Shanti Om (2007)

Bad

[5/10 · 8 November 2023]

What works:

1. Shah rukh khan's BFF in the 1970s 2. Deepika Padukone as the heroine. She is super cute, has a great smile, is fit, tall and can dance.

3. The ensemble dance number with 30+ movie stars from various decades is major fan service and has never (to my knowledge) been done before or since 4. Self deprecating humor re: overacting and spoofs at the award ceremony lol 5. Arjun Rampal was good

What doesn't:

1. Unbelievability of shah rukh khan in his mid 40s portraying a man half his age living with his mom and trying to catch a break in his acting career 2. Buffoonery and stupid comedy in the first 30 minutes 3. Everything about Srk and the 70s in terms of his clothes and hair is a big no. His acting is really over the top in the first half as well.

4. Villain burns new wife and baby because he finds out she is pregnant and he can't make a movie with a pregnant lead female character? Makes no sense whatsoever. Now he has no wife, baby or movie?

5. Contrived plot. Reincarnation has been done many times before. When it was revealed that BOTH lead actors were reincarnated, I felt embarrassed for both the writer and the audience smh.

Dilwale (2015)

Mediocre

[3/10 · 7 November 2023]

What works:

The whole cast looks great (best I've ever seen any of them look)

What doesn't:

Dhawan's cringe acting every time he is touched by Kriti 5 minute date is a total rip off of how I met your mother Car spinning scene is a rip off of mission impossible 2 Kajol went from the 5 minute to date immediately to you must spend my birthday tomorrow/tied at the hip is so cringe Over the top/ridiculous action sequences Bulgaria is overrun with Indians who are all done and gangsters? Lol, yeah right Bad special effects Nonsensical plot/twists/turns Buffoonish humor Could have easily been 30 mins to 1 hour shorter, stretched out for no reason.

Reality Bites (1994)

"A" list cast, terrible movie

[4/10 · 26 October 2023]

Do people really act like this or did they in the early 90s? What a way to squander a talented cast. Usually love Ethan Hawke, Ben Stiller and Winona Ryder but their collective talents cannot save this hollow coming of age flick. Very silly plot. Ethan Hawke, one of my favorite actors is insufferable here playing the bad boy/toxic lover. Would not recommend.

Do people really act like this or did they in the early 90s? What a way to squander a talented cast. Usually love Ethan Hawke, Ben Stiller and Winona Ryder but their collective talents cannot save this hollow coming of age flick. Very silly plot. Ethan Hawke, one of my favorite actors is insufferable here playing the bad boy/toxic lover. Would not recommend.

Salt (2010)

Mindless entertainment 6.5/10

[6/10 · 26 October 2023]

Angelina Jolie is hot AF as the bad ass double agent but it is pretty unrealistic to see a 100 lbs woman punching and kicking her way through armed police officers and federal agents (occasionally several at the same time), all of which are male and some of which are more than double her body weight. I don't think a 100 lbs man doing the same would be believable either. Then overcoming 4 officers while handcuffed in a police vehicle then controlling the movement of the vehicle from the backseat. It gets pretty ridiculous lol. Angelina jumping from freeway to freeway, out of helicopters and taking beatings from numerous males just add to the suspension of belief one requires to make it through this flick. As far as female action stars go, however, I like her in the part and she does as great of a job as can be expected.

Aside, there are also serious plot holes. Why would her comrade/mentor go through the hassle of exposing her cover? Surely she would have completed her mission with ease without her boss tipping off the intelligence agency as to the existence of the mole, the assassination plot and then directly identifying her as the mole? It made for an interesting opening and building suspense, but it does not make any sense whatsoever. If Liev is the one who orchestrated that stunt in order to frame her/turn her into patsy, it still doesn't make sense form a logistical standpoint.

Expend4bles (2023)

Just terrible.

[2/10 · 22 October 2023]

Pros:

Jason Statham Megan fox as eye candy. Haven't seen her in a flick in a long time. Minus the terrible lip injections, which sadly would be considered "modest" by today's standards.

Cons:

No Arnold No Terry crews No Wesley snipes 30 mins of Stallone 50 cent Randy couture Dolph Lundgren watered down to being a goof/comic relief. He is totally wasted in this role.

The "villain"- totally unmemorable and unmenacing.

The plot Really poor CGI - how is it managing to get worse over time?

No witty banter

If it wasn't for the first three films, Statham and Fox, I would have probably would have turned this off halfway through the movie. Would not recommend this and probably will not be watching the 5th installment that's apparently in development.

A Tourist's Guide to Love (2023)

Loved the showcase of Vietnam and Rachel Leigh Cook

[5/10 · 21 October 2023]

Rachel Leigh Cook sizzles and looks like she has barely aged since she's all that. Loved the showcase of various parts of Vietnam. Otherwise, just a very cliched romcom/time pass movie.

Rachel Leigh Cook sizzles and looks like she has barely aged since she's all that. Loved the showcase of various parts of Vietnam. Otherwise, just a very cliched romcom/time pass movie.

Rachel Leigh Cook sizzles and looks like she has barely aged since she's all that. Loved the showcase of various parts of Vietnam. Otherwise, just a very cliched romcom/time pass movie.

Rachel Leigh Cook sizzles and looks like she has barely aged since she's all that. Loved the showcase of various parts of Vietnam. Otherwise, just a very cliched romcom/time pass movie.

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Extended version review

[7/10 · 19 October 2023]

Pros:

A lot of suspense and tension filled sequences The film truly shines when Sam Jackson is in control You don't know what will happen next If that was really the actress' voice singing while playing the guitar, that was really impressive! As was her performance.

Kurt was good

Cons:

Way way, too long Boring at times Overdrawn, convoluted, irrelevant conversation does little to add value to the movie Way too much use of the "N" word We aren't meant to care about any of 8 outside of Kurt and Sam which are essentially the "protagonists" of the movie Channing Tatum?

Hiding under the floorboards is reminiscent of inglorious basterds Huge plot hole is that Kurt has his back turned several times to board the door shut him when just him and the prisoner first entered, more than ample opportunity to pop him quick.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

4 stars for the opening sequence and Ford giving it his all.

[4/10 · 11 October 2023]

What works:

The opening sequence sets the stage for an exciting picture A digitally enhanced young Harrison Ford An older Indy played with gusto by an aged but in pretty great shape Ford who appears to be giving it his all.

The villain is good (believe he was a Bond villain as well)

What doesn't:

Almost nothing else The goddaughter was a god awful character Plot and characters are not believable Heavy reliance on CGI Was anyone really asking for yet another Indiana Jones sequel after crystal skull?

Boring for the most part Way too long We are never made to care about the supporting characters, for example, the goddaughter and the kid

Would not recommend.

Texas Chainsaw (2013)

Pretty good until the last 20 mins

[5/10 · 10 October 2023]

Most unbelievable plot twist of all time? Main character finds out she is blood related to Leatherface who has killed all of her friends and been attempting to kill her all along while she has been fleeing in terror then decides to join him in killing the vigilantes trying to murder him? She passes him a chainsaw and says "do your thing, cuz"? The sheriff permits leatherface to kill and walk away and just tells them to "clean it up"? A police officer walks into a murder scene with Leatherface on the loose with one of his hands tied up FaceTiming? So ridiculous and unbelievable. The movie was decent up to that point but I should also mention that Leatherface looks bad and the cgi is mediocre. Only silver lining are hot main girls. Would not recommend.

The Expendables 2 (2012)

Decent follow up

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

Pros:

1. More Arnold 2. Beginning sequence and ending sequence are the highlights of the film 3. Van damme as the bad guy 4. The end sequence is bad a$$ and brings Stallone/Willis/Ahnuld to the forefront.

Cons:

1. The entire middle of the movie drags 2. The setup of the whole plot in the beginning (the young actor killed in the beginning, the entire crew surrendering just to let him live and Van Damme letting all the expendables live) just doesn't work.

3. The whole chuck Norris bit/one man army also doesn't work and comes off as absurd/ridiculous.

Way better than the 3rd installment!

Way better than the 3rd installment!

Way better than the 3rd installment!

The Expendables 3 (2014)

Took away all the key elements from the franchise

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

Pros:

1. More Arnold.

2. Mel Gibson as the villain

Cons:

1. The new "expendable"'crew full of young guys does not work. The whole draw of these movies is the nostalgia and seeing the 80s/90s action heroes.

2. Antonio banderas playing the annoying buffoon who never shuts up doesn't work and is way too over the top

3. The end scene is so unrealistic it is laughable

4. Watered down for the PG-13 rating and to reach a broader audience again defeats the whole purpose of these movies.

5. Wesley snipes is great but wasted in this role

6. The witty banter is largely gone

7. Arnold should have left out the good morning and just said GET TO THE CHOPPA!! Felt weird.

Searching (III) (2018)

One Twist Too Many. The ending ruins what could have been a good movie.

[6/10 · 31 July 2023]

Very unconvincing plot twist. Having the detective being the antagonist was a poorly conceived and contrive plot point. Having the missing teenager end up being found alive many days later also ruins the believability of what would be a great movie had the writers had the gall to actually go there. Having a 15-year-old girl sneak out to smoke weed with her dad's brother behind her father's back is also a very, very weird angle. Glad that ended there and did not turn into what it could have been. At one point Uncle says, how dare you accuse me or insinuate something of that nature, the obvious response is why would you create such a situation where something like that could be implied based on the messaging? The ending ruins what would've been a good movie. John Cho did a good job.

Parker (2013)

J Lo is the highlight for me.

[6/10 · 31 July 2023]

Run of the mill action movie. Nothing special here, except J Lo still looking great in her 40s, which certainly makes the movie that much more watchable. Unfortunately, she does not show up until the 30-45 minute mark. Her character, however, is unconvincing. Upon finding out her prospective client is a con man, she stalks him out, attempts to seduce him and then wants a piece of the take. Poorly written and way too unrealistic. Why not just make Statham's main girl be his partner? Anyways, never been a big Statham fan but JLo helped me make it through to the end.

Overall, average. Would not re-watch.