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lordofthelake
I strongly dislike most mainstream Hollywood films due to illogical plot holes, lack of vision other than money-making potential, and the handful of constantly recurring simplistic and soppy feel-good or melodramatic feel-sad themes that pop up again and again in Hollywood films. I also loathe the moral messages and the preachiness that is so often imbedded in mainstream films. Once you become aware of them, they are impossible to ignore.
Favorite films:
The Witch
The Broken
It Follows
I, Madman
Suspiria
Mulholland Drive
Carnival Of Souls (original)
Let's Scare Jessica To Death
Rosemary's Baby
The Rapture
The Wicker Man (original)
Anguish
Session 9
Nosferatu (the original)
Race With The Devil
3 Women
Suddenly Last Summer
Velvet Goldmine
The Other
Hideous Kinky
The Thing That Couldn't Die
The Tenant
Harold and Maude
The Stepford Wives (the original)
The Ninth Gate
Open Your Eyes
Prince Of Darkness
Dawn Of The Dead (original)
The Quiet Earth
Event Horizon
In The Mouth Of Madness
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark
Crowhaven Farm
Something Evil
The Omega Man
The Women
Dagon
Night Of The Hunter
Don't Look Now
The Devils
Blair Witch Project
They Live
The Ring (the first one)
Parents
Jacob's Ladder
Angel Heart
He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not (never mind the title, just watch it.)
Favorite TV shows:
Father Ted
Lost
This Life
Beggars & Choosers
Robin Of Sherwood
Night Gallery
Twilight Zone
The Invaders
Dark Shadows
24 (1st 4 seasons)
Footballers Wives
Deadwood
Six Feet Under
Spooks aka MI-5
Twin Peaks
The Teletubbies
Prison Break
Rome
American Gothic
Alias
Randall and Hopkirk, deceased (original)
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Puppetry of the Penis: Live at the Forum (2001)
Infantile
I don't get it. I am a 45 year old male with an infantile sense of humour. So Puppetry of the Penis should be my kind of film. Although the content of the film sounds titillating, I did all these things when I was 5 years old, as I'm sure every male has done since caveman days. Well, maybe not some of the stretchy parts. There is nothing new here.
In this remarkably boring film, which I saw at a dinner party, two adult naked Australian males play and make shapes with their penises. At the film's breathtaking climax, one of the guys sticks his anus in a girl's face and has her blow on it. (Oops, was that a spoiler?) What more can be said?
The Hunger (1997)
I wish I could rate this film.
I wish I could rate this cheesy piece of crap so that I could let the world know how pathetic it is. This is not horror, it isn't even camp. It's a hodgepodge of cheesey dialogue, cheap horror props and lots of T&A. If you are looking for T&A with a campy horror edge, try The Bare Wench Horror instead.
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
I tried it again, and it still sucks.
Ok, I am visiting friends in Colorado and they tell me I just HAVE to see Moulin Rouge! Now, I like Ewen McGregor in Trainspotting, Velvet Goldmine and others, so I said "Why Not?"
Five of us sat down to watch this thing on DVD or was it VHS? I don't remember. Of the five of us, three were enthralled, laughing and crying and swooning with the "plot" for the umpteenth time. Two of us, however, glanced at each other with looks of dismay and disgust. Finally, 30 minutes into the film, Brian got up, went to the player, and pressed STOP. "Now, you all have seen this before, right?" he asked. "Yes," they assured him. "Then I hope you don't mind if we skip over this worthless piece of trash," he said kindly but seriously. I breathed a sigh of relief when our hosts, with a slightly hurt look, gave in to Brian's request.
This film is a shallow and ultimately boring spectacle for the masses who eat up whatever Hollywood feeds to them. That anyone could be impressed by this pretentious and unimaginative trash amazes me. The music from Moulin Rouge! is a hodgepodge of poorly-done snippets of songs from the modern pop era. A cheesy disco version of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit blends into equally repulsive versions of Lady Marmalade, Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend, and Material Girl. The film boasts flambouyant but shallow characters. It's a worthless and pathetic piece of trash and I had as strong a reaction to it as if I had stepped into a puddle of vomit.
It was on TV again last night, and I was at home with some close friends. I decided to give the film a second chance. I made it to about 30 minutes, but this time all of us were in total agreement that this movie is the flashiest piece of crap ever passed onto the public as art. We agreed to turn it off.
I suggest you do the same.
Frogs (1972)
How'd they get the frogs to look so mean?
Crippled Granddaddy Crockett and his family of whiners want to poison all the reptiles on his remote island estate. And the frogs? Well, let's just say they're not too happy about it. Neither are their scaley buddies, and they advance on the unsuspecting family with a vengeance. I saw this movie at the cinema when I was 12 and thought it was creepy. I just saw it again at 41 and I still think it's great. It deserves a retroactive Oscar or something. A high point is when pink and frilly Aunt Iris goes out butterfly hunting with net and gets pursued by hissing snakes. And when what's-his-name gets strangled by killer moss while hairy spiders eat him alive...well, that's just pure class. The younger members of the cast run around in skin-tight bell bottomed hip huggers and there's even a Foxy Black Mama with a psychedelic turban thrown in for fun. Cool! Not as good as "Let's Scare Jessica To Death" or "The Wicker Man", but still a must-see for people who are into this low-tech type of thing (like me). There's even a flesh-eating turtle! Long live the seventies!