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redhead9898
Reviews
Jaws (1975)
Ahhh! Shark in the pond.
Jaws was boring, but was a good film, especially when the Great White started coming up to the beach and eating people for lunch and other places! But the film had stupid dialog like after Brody says 'the kids must be in the yard.' Ellen says 'when you're in Amity you say they're in the yahd!' how stupid! Plot: Chrissie Watkins and boyfriend Tom Cassidy go swimming at three in the morning, Tom passes out and Chrissie goes in the water by herself, she is attacked by a great white shark, and more and more people are eaten by the shark at the beach, and many close calls. Brody must go hunt the shark down with a scientist who studies sharks, and a man who like to hang shark jaws on his boat to presumably scare sharks away. And it's with the three to convince the mayor to let them go hunt down the 25 murderous, man-eating, shark and save the town of Amity! the shark is pretty convincing, the death scenes are basically things that could happen, and with a bucket of blood this film is a film to buy of the internet or rent it from a video store.
I'm glad i got the thirty anniversary edition packed with extra-extra features! 7/10 stars!
Piranha (1978)
Piranha is small
I rented this film months ago, but wasn't in the mood to right this review. the piranhas are basically rubber and look fake but basically everything else is great.
Plot: 2 people accidentally release mutant piranhas into a river where a kind of summer camp thing is going on. the 2 find a man telling them what they have caused, then they a raft to go kill the piranhas.
I haven't seen the last 20 minutes, but overall it was good. The nudity is pointless. Not a lot of violence, but is okay, but i would still recommend this movie to anybody, really. Watch this film, but not the remake!
Shark Attack (1999)
nothing to say
I saw this movie three years ago on tape when i rented it. since i live right across the street from it i walk there. I was going through all these films in the 's' section. i came across shark attack 3, shark zone, shark hunter, when i came across a tape of shark attack. i had seen the third many times, so i thought it would be a great film to laugh at. while walking home, i had to stop every five seconds to look at the boxart and read the back and look at the tape, it took me an hour to walk 5 hundred feet when it usually takes me 20 minutes. When i put it in, the first five minutes were boring. 15-20 minutes into the film i was so distracted by all the people in the house because they were family i made it to the part where he is talking to a guy in a lab with shark things all around him. since a few other people were watching it i left it on, i decided to watch it some other day and never did and they were selling tapes and somebody else bought it and i'm gonna buy it soon. All i can say is the film's first half hour is boring, but it has a lot of action, so it is okay, the paragraph above is just to keep you entertained because there isn't a lot to say about this junk, just treasure how bad the film is. 4/10 stars.
Insecticidal (2005)
Great 80 minute monster film!!!
'Insecticidal' is a great cheesy film.
College student Cami is obsessed with here bug collection of Rhinoceros Beetles, Sluggs, Scopions, Tarantulas, praying mantis, princer bugs, and more. Her bugs get on here sorority sisters, Sophi, Fumi, Cherri, Belli, Twisti, Jenni, and most of all, the woman of the house, Josi. Josi's boyfriend Mitch holds Cami and her boyfriend Martin while Josi sprays insecticide on Cami's bugs, mutating them. After Cherri, Belli, Kyle, Dick, Twisti and the pizza boy disappear, Cami, Sophi, Jenni, Fumi, Mitch, (well, not exactly Mitch, Mitch is just alive) find out about the bugs and fight against them, while Josi, the mean girl, becomes a zombie.
the cgi is bad, but acting and dialogue is good, action and violence, suspense, but the cgi is still pretty convincing, it is a good film, Sophi's performance after her girlfriend Jenni, (they are lesbians) is killed. Vicky Huang is good, the girl who plays Cami, the boy who does Mitch, also Martin and the gorgeous Rhonda Dent who plays Josi, along with Jenni, the others do okay but this is order from bet acting to worst acting: 1) Josi 2) Cami 3) Sophi 4) Fumi 5) Jenni 6)Matin 7) Mitch 8) Dick 9) Twisti 10) Belli 11) Cherri 12) Kyle 13) Sluggo (Zombie???) 14) security guard (??????????????????) This is a great film with good, good, good actors! Rent it or buy it!!! 10/10 stars.
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Im a little wired...
Okay, this film makes the 'meg' a great white, because of the footage they use of great whites.
the yacht scene is funny, did you know megalodons swallow boats and life rafts? How about they swallow (almost) a submarine? It's mouth seems to change sizes between the scenes.
The meg tries to swallow a helicopter! It also spoofs the poseidon adventure when there boat turns over and capsizes and they stand on the bottom of it. Also, the famous line and scene are stupid, but funny, the only reason this film got ten stars from me is because it was one of the funniest films i have ever seen! I have watched this on TV and DVD. and i have rented all three copies of it from Hollywood video! 10/10 stars for comedy!!!
Invasion of the Pod People (2007)
Invasion of The Asylum people
Invasion of the 'Pod' People=utterly stupid garbage, with a confusing ending, but keep you entertained when the aliens start showing up and brainwashing people to change their personality.
Melissa believes something has come over her co-workers and boss. After a meteor crashes in California, aliens take over people bodies, and the alien trans-morphs their skin into there body, with their voice, and the people are forced to fight against the clones--even their clones! Okay, only the girls who plays Melissa, Samantha, and Billie, and the model are the only ones who actually put on a decent performances, the rest act like they were pulled of the street and given the script and the director says 'you're a woman/Man who has no acting experience, so here's the script you have six minutes to memorize this, and mess up your lines. Good luck.' Then then after that, they mess up, and they only have five minutes left of shooting the film so the director cuts out scenes of a 3re hour movie to an eighty minute one, and the director leaves in the scenes with the screwed up lines! Hilarious movie.
10/10 stars
Shark Attack 2 (2000)
the VHS cover makes a mistake
First, the back of the tape says Sam's last name is 'Sharp' but it says it is 'Peterson'.
Anyway, this is a great shark film, but the shark looks fake in some scenes, but it is a low budget film about sharks attacking people, so it is okay.
Acting is okay, just barely violence, and language. But, does not effect the film, what so ever.
Okay, better then 1st and 3rd, so i would have to say the best in the 'shark attack' series. It was worth the 4 bucks for the tape, since i had never seen this one of the series before.
Great shark attack film, although only two woman in the film.
9/10 fabulous stars
Megalodon (2002)
MegaGood film!
Okay, 'Megalodon' is better then other films about other films such as 'Shark attack 3: Megalodon' and 'Shark Hunter'.
It opens up with a newscast where Maria Barrera is doing a report about shark attack and and oil stuff. With interviews from the head of it 'Peter Brazier' and 'Robert Amstrong' she ends up saying reporter 'christen Giddings' will be there for a week. The crew gets eaten to. The cgi and sound is great! I l o v e this m o v i-e it does not s u c k you h e a r that????? It i s a g r e a t s h a r k a t t a ck m o vi e! Watch it! I hope you will enjoy it as much as i did. It will be better then most shark attack films you will ever see. It goes next to Deep blue sea and shark attack 2!
Jack Frost (1997)
Not bad film with no Keaton
okay, but just plain dumb. Not bad for a horror/comedy film. I was reading how people switched it with the Michael version and that is a good trick in my opinion because some grown ups hate horrors and when they see this one it will get them interested in horror films like this one or maybe (never seen it) the horror (possibly comedy) uncle Sam, i'll have to see about renting or buying that film but the 2nd is way better then this one but i bought this one on VHS of Amazon and got it November 21, the day before thanksgiving. worth the four bucks, l.o.l. at this film.
9/10
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)
Better then original!
This is better then the first. The movie opens up with Sheriff Sam .Then, Sam and Anne pack there bags up and head to the Tropicana while Jack tags along.
People are shot, get glass through necks, get squished by anvils, get stabbed with icicles, eyes gouged out, head explosions, drownings, hangings, lobsters shoved into faces, slit throats, freezing to death, killed by snowballs, arms are ripped off, melted by anti-freeze, icicles down necks, hit in face with pots and pans, fingers getting' bitten off, icicles through mouths, bitten on the neck, exploding people, toasted snowballs, and shoved in blenders.
The snowballs are hilarious, they put it into a blender and turn it on, then it says 'that was fun' they put in in a waffle thing and it gets burnt.
This is just a great movie. Then they start thinking of other ways to kill it, and the snowball replies, 'that's not nice'
It was worth then ten bucks spent to buy this.
10 out of 10 stars.
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
not bad
Bought it and loved it! OK, we have Burrows trying to cure a disease and she makes her sharks killer!!! Then, they unpredictably escape and kill people!! So unpredictable, right?! Of course.
And sacrifices her self to the shark!!! Boo-Hoo! And some blonde guy keeps acting heroic and a stupid blonde, named Janet, moans because some guy named Jim dies when his arm was bitten off! Overall, it is an super!!! action packed thriller!!! 10/10 stars!!! the cgi and mechanical sharks are better than the Jaws one!!! Yay! I think this is one of the best shark attack films ever made!!! You should rent this great film!!! I will never forget this movie!!! It's just so great!!!
Of course, 10/10 stars!!!
L'ultimo squalo (1981)
Great White law suit.
Great White isn't to bad of a film. I was expecting worse if they had to sue a law-suit.
Anyway, i watched it online and loved it! Plot: Writer Peter Benton soon finds out a shark has been terrorizing there beach and wants to put a stop to it. his daughter, Jenny, loses her leg to a shark, a toy helicopter crashes replacing real one, a man's legs is torn of, oh and it made me smarter because in the movie, sharks roar, are made out of rubber, bob up and down, and look real fake.
the shark looks real fake, and roars which disappoints me. i did enjoy the film, and am probably going to buy it.
I think it was a decent film.
10/1o stars.
Supercroc (2007)
Should be re-named to: 'Superbad Movie'
This movie is boring, bad audio, effects, cgi, acting, plot, storyline, and music. The music is copied from other 'asylum' films. i only watched it for the crocodile eating up the people. I kept having to fast-forward ten minutes of the movie every five minutes. Thus, making it only 40-50 minutes to watch it. I didn't think this should have ever been made. it deserves to be in garbage cans. The tag line should be 'Now available in other peoples garbage cans because this movie is idiotic and a complete waste of time.' because that is absolutely true in every way imagined. 2/10 stars. It is a very great way to waste 90 minutes of your life!!! Do not watch this no matter what the circumstances may be!
King of the Lost World (2004)
Bought it, and liked it/hated it!
This is about when an ape that is a so called "King" and rules his "Lost World" which is no more then trees, dirt bushes, and fake looking back grounds and hills. It starts off with a plane crashing, an explosion, then we find out the front of the plane is missing, which must have crashed with the full plane, and a little explosion that causes it to fly 2-300 miles away without leaving falling trees if it supposedly crashed through them. Then, the survivors encounter fake looking spiders, scorpions, man eating vines, and a 150 foot monkey that is the "King Of The Lost World" along with brain washing natives. It is pretty good except for the cgi effects and the nudity scene. It does include a few good actors, and of course, some bad actors (which is about 90 percent of the actors) Thus, creating a good rip-off of Doyle's novel and the King Kong movies.
Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005)
Unexpectidly Good!!!
Jolly Roger has a body count of 17, which is a pretty high amount of deaths for a 80 minute horror movie. It has a few good actors, and a few bad ones. Some of it makes you laugh. Like, for example, the mayor gets her arm cut of and starts running at Roger with no weapon! Another, is he rips a man's arm of and beats him to death with it! He also has bullets and fire in his arm! It is a bloody film! I have wanted to see this for a year. We went to Holly wood video, and my heart nearly stopped when i saw the title! I love this film! I think i might buy it off of Amazon. com! Pretty decent film for a low budget horror film! I would recommend it to every buddy that likes horror films! Enjoy this masterpiece by Gary! (Gary is the director of the film) this on my wish list along with Shark Attack 2 (DVD) Jack frost 2 (DVD) and Blood Surf (VHS)!!!!!
Crocodile (2000)
I give it 6
I give it six stars because it was boring and it had barely any excitement but it was good. Some deaths were pointless,and some deaths were just plain stupid and idiotic...the first hour could have had a little more excitement then 2 deaths per 30 minutes. I liked the ending but i wish the 3rd main character would have died. If you watch it on TV, turn it on when it's at the the last 45 minutes with action, if you rent it, you might want to go to scene selection and skip to about (i'm guessing) like the last 5 chapters of it. we think you should give it a try and try to watch the last half-hour of this movie (which is the action sequences) and you would provably enjoy that, it is a okay movie in my opinion.
Cerberus (2005)
Possibly the best Sci-Film made
The film is about when Zach Gaines is kidnapped by Kul Jae Sung, his sister, Samantha Gaines, has to team up with bad guys to get him back to help them get a sword from Romania, since they stole the breastplate. Jake Addams and Burke chase them down and find her, it is revealed he is the man that Samantha talked to about Cerberus. Meanwhile, Marcus Cutter give Kul Jae the breastplate, then another bad guy Max is killed by two dogs, meanwhile, they get Zach and go to Romania to get the sword first, they get it, Cerberus, a three headed dog from hell, attack them and kills Burke. They escape while Marcus gets the sword for Kul Jae, when he returns at a town, he takes over a shop and kills the manager, holds the wife hostage until Kul Jae and two men come for the sword. He says he wants to keep it and slices Kul Jae's head off, kills the men while Samantha, Zach and Jake go to the village when the villagers start to put chairs ant tables and light them on fire, Cerberus kills teens camping out, and leaps over the fire, kills some villagers, while Jake and Marcus fight over the sword, Zach is thrown through a shop window and Jake throws Marcus off a building and gets eaten by Cerberus, he tosses the sword down to Samantha, who tries to get it, but Cerberus tail, which is a snake, pulls her away, while Jake stabs Cerberus in the head, who dies, and is transported back to hell. then, Zach walks over to him they hug and walk away. I give this film a A- you will like it!
Grizzly Rage (2007)
I wasted 2 hours of my life
This film is about when 4 teens (Wes, Shaun, Ritch and Lauren) go wild after they graduate from high school, brake into private property, and kill a grizzly cub whose mother goes on rage to kill them. The film includes bad actors, goofs, and the toxic junk shouldn't even be in it. I gave it two because I gave it a little credit and at least all the bad actors died! I wish I could go back in time and never watched this rip-off. I mean, bears don't live in that territory, 3 branches will not hold a car, and fake blood splatters isn't going to make it better. Plus, at least a woman got a contraption in her back for bad acting! Plus, this is the first movie I've seen that before the credits, it says the title again. My rating: D- So don't waste your life on this junk like I did, it is also possibly the top ten boringest film I have ever seen! Plus, the dialog is boring and pointless. Don't watch this boring junk.
The Untold (2002)
'the untold' should have never been told
I think that this is one of my top ten worst movies I have ever seen! There's like fade out every two minutes. If this was on TV, they would have a preview every 2-3 minutes. But there is a seen I personally enjoyed: which is when the blonde goes to take a bath in a pit of boiling water with a man watching and for about 10 seconds you see her whole body with no towel on! That was the best scene in the whole film because you see sasquatch starring at them but the last 10 minutes is when we see his whole body. Plus, most of the deaths are off screen and just the scream or roar. And I was expecting the Sasquatch to die. But he dosen't shoot him and only 4 or 5 people die in the whole film I was expecting 8-10 people to die. Don't watch this movie. I give it an F-. Don't waste your time.
Tail Sting (2001)
It's okay...
Tail sting is a film where you look at the cover and say,'Oh scorpions on a plane. It must be the original "snakes on a plane" That is what I thought. But, boy, was I wrong! First the beginning is where somebody is trying to rob a van, or something. They get defeated and then it shows a airport then some attendent something about flight being canceled so a group of kids have to go on another plane. Later on a man kills a secuirity guard by impaling him by the thing you use to ski.Then they fall and the scorpions mutate and kill. It's your average fake looking b-movie with pointless dialog and there is a quick scene with humor. My rating: Fakeness: A+ Realistic: F- Acting: C- Suspense: D- Action: B+ Adventure: D- Birds p.o.v.: F+ Overall: C- My recommendations: Don't waste your time, you'd be better off watching Transmorphers (a really bad film) So stay away as far as possible.
Shark Zone (2003)
Shark zone is a complete waste of time...
Okay, the beginning is stupid because great whites don't hunt in packs, and the woman with blonde hair is never shown being eaten but the story says she was... when he has a dream with his wife getting eaten, it's like slow mochine, and at the beach the sharks roar above and below the surface, and sharks din;t roar. The director must be completely idiotic, and i mean in the beginning while they swim they talk to each other but their no device with them allowing them to communicate with each other. I mean come on, i would have sat through shark attack which is one of the most boringest shark attack films I ever saw. So don't waste your time on this garbage. The director and crew wasted their time working on this junk. I give the rating a : F- because the movie is one of the worst cheesiest b-movies I ever saw. So don't waste your time watching this.
Attack of the Sabretooth (2005)
Jurrasic Park rip-off!
The film is about a sabretooth on the lose at a amusement park where teens are on a scavenger hunt. Since there are no rules they break into a building and start getting killed off. The deaths are cheesy and are dumb. But at least it had better effects then sabretooth. I gave it a three because Stacy was in it and I loved the movie Sabretooth. I thought it was okay but some deaths were off-screen. There was a dumb scene where the two teens kiss and the sabretooth's head pops out and the boy leaves his girlfriend behind leaving her to have her totally fake looking red guts out. Then the sabretooth gets up in the vents and bites the kids head off. The end death with the owner was totally fake looking graphics. Even that death was stupid because the statues tooth went through his mouth and hangs there like that will support it and there is a scene when a goth girl loses her contacts doesn't find them, and seems like she doesn't need the. The film is idiotic and a waste of time.
Sabretooth (2002)
Decent film
i thought this was decent. It has a good plot, good acting, it had two beautiful women. (Vannesa Angel and Jenna Gering) i think David Keith was a great actor,. it has some good action and suspense and lots of gore. But the effects get a F- because I think attack of the sabretooth had better effects but personally I think that Sabretooth is better then Attack of the sabretooth because it has more suspense. My Rating: Acting: B+ Gore: A+ Suspense: D+ Action: A+ Plot: B- Drama: F- Fakeness:C- Animation D- Overall: A- I would recommend this to a person who likes a good hero film that has bad special effects but is a great film. So I recommend!
Transmorphers (2007)
Transawful
First off, they live underground. They have been there for 400 years, and they have Frisbees that explode, they have flying motorcycles, and the actors act bad except Swenson and Shale. The effects are poor. I gave it one star because Leigh made a good movie called the beast of bray road. Don't watch this junk. Even the features suck! Don't waste 85 minutes of your life on this like I did. I mean they even have robot women! This should be renamed to 'Transawful'! I mean even the behind the scenes and the music video where some guy resembling 'Alextivich' is making a woman out of rubber body parts while the women singing it and her back-up dancers are dancing around which technically resembles 5 percent of this movie. The rest of the features are trailers are for other asylum rip-offs! I wish Director Leigh would make some good films like beast of bray road.
Frankenstein Reborn (2005)
i wasted 84 minutes of my time
Where to begin? First off, most of the film is flashbacks. Second, the beginning was stupid, and third, a lot of boring dialog and bad actors. The monster is quite disturbing and so is his roar. They had small parts like when a woman is shown for 2 minutes and is killed. There was parts when i felt like turning it off but I had nothing else to do. After the credits end, there is a minute of the screen pitch black and the music still going. I bet it was to make the movie a minute longer. I gave it a 3, because I like b-horror films,i like Frankenstein movies and you have to give Leigh some credit. My recommendation: if you see it at the video store, tell a person working there that it is a waste of money for you to rent that. So stay away as far as possible. Don't say I didn't warn you.