davidwalker-94471 Reviews

Which Brings Me to You (2023)

Terrible

[2/10 · 22 May 2024]

So this is a movie about a couple of walking red flags doing a whole bunch of red flagging and eventually winning a happy ending.

I hate it.

The supermarket musical score is as terrible as it is entirely fitting.

It wants to be a movie about redemption and learning from mistakes with a heartwarming there's-someone-for-everyone outcome but it isn't. What it is instead is an exercise in excusing terrible behaviour, a commitment deficit, emotional gaslighting and a complete lack of personal accountability.

None of the characters are likeable and are portrayed with a by-the-numbers cast. Overall I just hated that these people got a chance of happiness after being such terrible people for all of their adult lives.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)

What 'the expendables' would love to be

[7/10 · 21 May 2024]

Apparently based on the true story of the first ever deniable military mission which lead to what we now think of as 'black ops' this movie is a whole bunch of fun.

The ensemble cast is suave and cheeky, the action is decent and the fighting brutal. Henry Cahill is always impressive and Alan Ritchson is a lot of fun.

It has a lot of hallmarks of a Guy Ritchie movie and although it's no lock stock, it's certainly better than Robin Hood.

There were a couple of moments where I felt it was trying to be Tarantino's inglorious and there are some parallels but those moments were fleeting.

In a way, I think this is the movie the expendables would love to be.

Overall I really enjoyed this one.

Sting (2024)

Average creature feature

[5/10 · 20 May 2024]

Yeah it's okay.

It's fun enough. There's some nice gore and a few moments that'll make your skin crawl.

On the flip side there's a lot here that makes no sense at all and I didn't find it scary.

I like that we have no idea what this thing is or where it came from. Most movies would find a way of explaining that and I like a bit of mystery and intrigue. The unknown element is a bit of a cover for some plot holes though and it doesn't add up to a particularly coherent plot.

That said, what do I want? It's a movie about a giant, murderous spider.

Comic relief is a bit cliche and the cliffhanger came with zero sense of surprise but it's an enjoyable enough romp and it's certainly better that a lot of shark movies about.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Fun and trash

[6/10 · 14 May 2024]

Look, nobody is watching these movies because they want water tight plots and engaging human stories. We're here because we want to see giant things smashing stuff up.

Movies like this are like a Big Mac. It's not real food but it has its place.

It is a whole load of silly, loud, goofy fun.

The opening of this movie sees Kong luring a pack of giant hollow earth hyena things into a complex mechanical trap. He then takes a shower after covering himself in the blood of one of those giant hyena things having torn it in half whilst letting out a trademark intimidating roar.

The first human moment sees Jia (the small girl from versus) having some psychic visions.

It is that ridiculous.

There was a "surprise" death that was possibly the most telegraphed in history and a scene where a monarch monitoring station, in hollow earth, has been destroyed. (Remember that hollow earth is huge, mostly uncharted and full of giant monsters) and the question is asked "What could have done this?" Giant mechanical arm ex machina. Loads of explanation for stuff we didn't ought to have figured out. Magic mind control. Magic gravity control.

There's a kind of anti gravity fight which is pretty decent and scenes of our favourite titans on Rio beach, Giza and even having a nap in Rome's Colloseum.

Honestly it's ridiculous. Ridiculous and very enjoyable.

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

This is how you make a Godzilla movie

[9/10 · 4 May 2024]

The main difference between the monarch-verse movies and the shin and minus one Godzilla movies is the balance between the monster story and the human story.

This one is pretty near perfect.

The human story is engaging and I was genuinely invested in the characters much more than the throw away cannon fodder of the monarch-verse.

At its heart this is barely a monster movie at all. It's a story about survivors guilt and post war depression. It's a love story set against unbearable tragedy and a story of friendship, loyalty and sacrifice.

It just so happens that there is also a seemingly unstoppable monster that keeps coming ashore and wrecking stuff.

Like shin, there's a bit of satire and a critique of government policy.

The beast is wonderfully rendered and the effects are superb. The understated score and emotional scrip and brilliant and there's some pretty decent turns from the acting leads here. Kamiki Ryunosuke and Miname Hamabe in particular are excellent but the supporting cast is very solid.

This might just be the best of a very large bunch.

Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

Why did Anthony Hopkins sign up to this?

[5/10 · 28 April 2024]

When you watch a Zack Snyder movie, you know what to expect.

Slow motion shots, over stylised violence, slow motion shots, gritty location, slow motion shots, explosions and slow motion shots.

The first one wasn't very good and this one isn't very good.

Despite some attempts at tragic backstories I just don't care about any of the characters who are all pretty cliche. Ed Skrein is super annoying.

You have all kinds of idiocy going on here: a guy fighting in a laser cannon battle with an axe, pound store furiosa, one dude lobbing a bunch of grenades in the open door of a moving shuttle, teaching a bunch of farmers and villagers to fight in 2 days, digging impossibly complex tunnels rigged with explosives in the same timeframe, one scene where everyone is dressed like 13th century nobility and another where they're dressed like 1920s Chicago, name your cliche relationships some kind of subplot about a coup and being framed for it, an all-hope-is-lost-oh-wait-friends-arriving-at-the-last-moment ex machina bit, lots of yelling in victory despite literally half the village being dead and yet another sequel set up.

It's about flour remember.

Late Night with the Devil (2023)

A lot of fun

[7/10 · 21 April 2024]

I really enjoyed this.

Sort of found footage, sort of faux documentary, I really loved how this movie was presented.

David Dastmalchian is really very good. And the supporting cast are enjoyable, particularly Ingrid Torelli.

This movie is pretty creepy, and there are tones of exorcist and of VHS 85. There's a kind of Faustian deal at the stories core that I really liked and I found myself smiling quite a lot during the third act.

This movie may not be for everybody. It's obviously not big budget and the effects may not land with everyone but I thought it was a whole lot of creepy, campy fun.

Immaculate (2024)

Not the one for me

[4/10 · 21 April 2024]

First things first: the first omen is much better.

It might seem unfair to compare but they were literally released the same time give or take a coupe of weeks so here we are.

Sydney Sweeney is ok and I really liked the location but this movie is just full of flaws.

Primarily it isn't scary. Nothing about sister Cecilia says nun to me. That's also true of sisters Gwen and Isabelle. Aside from that, the motive for the antagonist is bonkers.

There's some gore that I kind of liked and the very final scene is my favourite of the whole movie but the climax up to that point is laughable.

I have a huge issue with characters surviving significant injury and this one really annoyed me. There's also a torture scene that made absolutely no sense at all.

I just didn't really like it.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Sci-fi masterpiece

[9/10 · 16 April 2024]

Denis Villeneuve is some director. He is a visionary and has produced something truly epic in his Dune adaptation.

This movie is an incredible piece of cinema.

Visually phenomenal. Fast paced. The action is terrific and it really moves along from the first film which, although equally visually awesome, felt a little like an establishing chapter.

If I'm totally honest I am really tired of chosen one, prophecy type stuff but knowing the age of the source material (1965 I believe) and that it predates all those tropes I am more than willing to overlook what is my only potential gripe. It wouldn't be a fair critique.

I've seen some Star Wars comparisons. Mainly claiming that Star Wars ripped dune off in a number of ways. Consider the timeline and there is some credit to that claim.

I have not read any of Frank Herbert's work so I genuinely don't know where this series is going but if Denis Villeneuve keeps putting out visual spectacles like this, long may it continue.

Cobweb (2023)

Spooky fun

[7/10 · 6 April 2024]

I liked this one a lot.

It's pretty tense and atmospheric. The cast are all decent and I thought it was all pretty well executed.

There's a real sense of threat throughout and young Woody Norman was fantastic.

The movie plays on a number of childhood fears and the weird parents with something to hide are played well and with due creepiness.

The third act was perhaps a little far fetched but there's some good gore and nice scares. I get the feeling the ending might leave some people felling a little conflicted. For some it might seem unnecessarily ambiguous but for me it was a simple continuation of the childlike fear that featured throughout.

There are some effects that some may not like. I'm happy enough to forgive that.

This was decent.

Watcher (I) (2022)

Paranoid in Bucharest

[7/10 · 6 April 2024]

This is a nice little slow burn psychological thriller.

I'm a fan of Maika Monroe, she seems to pick her movies carefully and I like her work. This is director Chloe Okuno's feature debut and I was intrigued to see this. I liked it.

It's a bit old school, playing on paranoia and suspicion rather than anything overt. I think it has a bit to say about how safe women feel and how suspicious that can make them. I thought the movie was throwing a curveball and it was a kind of double bluff.

As usual, there's the trope of disbelieving partner, so common in thrillers and horrors and which is a bit tired but I guess does add to the paranoia.

Overall, I really enjoyed this.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Pretend it has nothing to do with Alien

[7/10 · 6 April 2024]

I think this serves as a pretty decent stand alone sci fi. I like quite a lot about this movie. The cast is good. Noomi Rapace in particular is very good.

I like the idea of the engineers, I like the idea of the black goo, I mostly like the idea that this all spawns the xenomorphs we know and love but I don't really understand why.

Not everything needs an origin story and I preferred Alien when we just thought they were out there somewhere. I don't think we needed an origin/backstory/genesis story.

Take out the final scenes which, if I'm honest, felt a little forced, and Prometheus would still have been a fairly decent sci fi.

And most notably, Prometheus does teach us not to run in a straight line.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Better than resurrection

[6/10 · 6 April 2024]

This is a pretty bad movie but it is peppered with cool moments.

Obviously there's a lot that absolutely stinks. This crew is the dumbest crew of any spacecraft in any sci fi ever. The flute playing scene just really annoys me and there's so much utter stupidity on show it's almost a spoof.

That said, the back burster scene is cool, the shower scene called back to lambert in the original Alien and I like the evolutionary progression of David's experiments.

It's just a shame that they can't seem to reproduce the formula that made the first two so great. Great characters, high tension and good scares.

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Space garbage

[4/10 · 6 April 2024]

Nope. Didn't like this at all.

Every now and again I will watch the whole franchise and I will watch resurrection as part of that but I wouldn't reach for this movie any other time.

There are two things I like about this movie: the Xenos look good and I enjoyed Brad Dourif. I can't say much else for this movie besides that.

I don't like the space pirates. I don't like the Ripley clones. I don't like that they found any DNA in the furnace from Alien 3.

I didn't like the acid spitting.

I didn't like the human xeno hybrid.

I didn't like that it's still a surprise that there's an android.

This movie has no place in the Xenoverse and I do not consider in cannon.

Alien 3 (1992)

Not as bad as people say

[6/10 · 6 April 2024]

Look; it doesn't hold a candle to the previous two instalments. That is clear. Alien is arguably the greatest sci fi horror ever made and Aliens is one of the best sequels ever. Alien 3 was always going to be tough.

I have always quite liked it though.

I saw an interview with Sigourney Weaver back when Alien 3 was released where she described aliens and a rollercoaster ride and Alien 3 like being trapped in a closet with the xenomorph. I like that analogy.

Obviously this movie was beset with production issues and ended up not really being the movie David Fincher wanted but still, I don't think it's all that bad.

I like the setting, I like the third act, all that running through the tunnels is pretty stressful. I like it a lot.

Things not to like include just doing away with newt and hicks in the opening credits. How did an egg get on board? Why are there two 'birth' scenes; one with a dog and one with an ox? And there's a line from Ripley "you've been in my life so long I can't remember anything else" which makes little sense. Follow the timeline and once you factor in hyper sleep it's only a few weeks since she first saw Kane's chestbuster on the nostromo.

It's not amazing and I'd love to see what was intended but honestly. It's not that bad.

Aliens (1986)

Alien Ante upped

[10/10 · 6 April 2024]

If Alien is one of the greatest sci fi movies of all time, Aliens must be one of the best sequels ever made.

Aliens is fantastic. It's a sci fi, a horror and an action flick all at once. The ante has been upped in every way. The tension is unbearable at points. The introduction of a child to increase the threat. The sleazy company man, the armed-to-the-teeth military platoon and a swarm of xenos. Oh, and a huge, egg laying queen.

Ellen Ripley completely bosses it again. Sigourney Weaver really is absolutely terrific. As are all the cast in fact.

The directors cut is a must watch in my opinion. The extra scenes add lots of additional context to the scale of the threat, the reason Ripley changed her mind and agreed to go back to LV426 and also adds a dimension to the face off with the queen.

Some of which makes less sense when you add David and the black goo into the origin.

This movie is the franchise peak and is in my top five movies of all time.

Alien (1979)

Absolute all timer

[9/10 · 6 April 2024]

This is an all time classsic movie. A sci fi masterpiece and a seminal horror trailblazer.

There's a documentary called "memory - the origins of alien" which is fantastically interesting and I would thoroughly recommend.

This movie is incredibly tense. The acting is great, the production is claustrophobic and grimy. The creature is an all time classic and HR Giger's visuals will live long in cinema lore.

Sigourney Weaver is simply terrific and although the "final girl" trope was already established in cinema Ellen Ripley could rightly be considered queen of the final girls.

There are some of cinemas most iconic moments here, not least the chest burster scene and Veronica Cartwright's reaction. Absolute gold.

There's some interesting themes about penetration and impregnation offered in a gender reversed way.

Alien is just a great movie. Genuinely terrifying too.

When I think sci fi I think Alien.

Baghead (2023)

Pretty average

[5/10 · 6 April 2024]

This is a middle of the road horror movie. It's a feature length remake of a short from 2017 by the same director.

The central idea is solid enough and the ending is okay. I like a bleak ending.

I didn't find it particularly creepy or scary at all.

Freya Allan tries hard enough but I didn't find that the rest of the supporting cast carried much weight.

There are themes of loss and trauma and undertones of patriarchal control but I don't think this is a movie trying to have any kind of purpose or meaning.

It certainly isn't the worst horror movie of 2024 but it is just pretty unremarkable.

The First Omen (2024)

Enjoyable and creepy

[7/10 · 5 April 2024]

I thought this an unnecessary prequel but I actually enjoyed it a lot.

This movie has a lot going for it. The cast are great. Nell Tiger Free is good as the lead and there's plenty of great support. Sonia Braga is suitably sinister, Bill Nighy is earnest and Ralph Inneson manages to give a bit of Patrick Troughton.

Fans of the original will spot plenty of callbacks or rather, as a prequel, plenty of foreshadowing I guess.

There's a handful of jump scares but overall there's a decent sense of foreboding and tension that grows as the movie progresses. I thought Arkasha Stephenson builds the atmosphere nicely.

There's a couple of scenes slightly more graphic than you might have expected. A little less 'subtly suggested' than previous franchise instalments.

This is a decent effort.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Yeah it's okay

[6/10 · 5 April 2024]

I was torn on afterlife. The whole digital Harold Ramis was problematic and the big bad being a rehash of the original seemed like an exercise in nostalgia porn.

I was looking forward to this.

It is okay.

Loads of callbacks and legacy characters which is fine. The big bad was terrifying but honestly, just how many super powerful ancient deities are we expected to believe exist in this franchise? Gozer, Vigo now Garakka.

The cast are decent. The comic relief seems forced and not actually very funny. The sub plot where Phoebe befriends a ghost was actually interesting and I wish that had been explored more. Might have added some depth to the franchise.

The effects are hit and miss. Garakka looks like he's from a 5 year old Xbox game.

I almost groaned at the "I know someone who can explain all this" cliche. With pictures.

All in all it's fun enough.

Napoleon (2023)

Just boring

[5/10 · 30 March 2024]

Honestly I found this movie so boring.

I like Joaquin Phoenix, he is fantastic in everything he does and I guess he's fairly solid here. Vanessa Kirby is okay.

I just found this movie slow, long, ponderous and kind of unnecessary.

Mainly it's so inaccurate from a historical sense, I just can't understand why it isn't so much more engaging. I mean if you are going to ignore history in a historical biopic, at least make it fun.

It isn't totally awful, it's shot well and like I said, the leads are decent. I didn't enjoy the dialogue and I'm not completely sure what kind of picture Ridley Scott was actually trying to paint.

I guess I was just expecting more.

Madame Web (2024)

Web of deceit

[1/10 · 22 March 2024]

Dakota Johnson has done well to recover from the 50 shades series. Man I hate those movies.

This is a new career low.

If you'd never seen a superhero movie and you watched this, I fear you'd never watch another.

All of this movie sucks. All of it.

I'm not going to say anything that hasn't been said besides the fact that i just can't find anything to defend. Literally the only thing I enjoyed was the cranberries song 'Dreams' during the closing credits.

I only watched this because I wanted to judge for myself rather than believe the hype. Well, anti hype.

I'm just glad I didn't pay to see it.

Thanksgiving (I) (2023)

Enjoyable slasher

[7/10 · 25 January 2024]

I actually enjoyed this one.

The opening sequence was interesting. It laid bare much of the real horror of society and set out what would be the killer's motive nicely.

Once we got into slasher territory it was actually pretty decent fare.

Some of the kills were gnarly and creative. There's a couple of real standouts for gore hounds involving a trampoline, a circular saw, a parade pilgrim ship and some creative cookery.

There's a fair bit of slasher cliche. A red herring suspect you could spot coming a mile away and I actually guessed the real killer. The cast is okay. Pretty and not that likeable, standard.

Overall it's not a bad effort. Eli Roth has been divisive but this is one of his more enjoyable offerings.

Saltburn (2023)

Dirty

[6/10 · 25 January 2024]

Some people will hate this film. I've yet to speak to anyone who really loved it. But I guess that's kind of the point. There's no real hero here. Nobody for the majority of the audience to relate to. There's some pretty rough scenes that will make you wince and squirm and I really think that's what is intended.

It's a satire about late stage capitalism and class and elitism. It's darkly comic.

At its heart, I think it's a movie about sociopaths doing sociopath things and if that made you feel good or comfortable then, well..... Barry Keoghan is decent although his Liverpool accent is occasionally a little shaky.

I like the soundtrack, I like the direction and I like the ending.

The Descent (2005)

Brilliant

[9/10 · 25 January 2024]

I read an interview with the director Neil Marshall that he had read a review of (the excellent) Dog Soldiers where the reviewer asked "when will a British director make a genuinely scary Horror?".

Gauntlet thrown, the result was the Descent.

I have always liked this movie. It is genuinely scary. It's claustrophobic, atmospheric and extremely well made.

It is also a growing force that asks a different question each time I watch it.

Basic story is a group of friends go caving in an uncharted cave system, get stuck, realise they're not alone and have to fight for survival against a subterranean population of mutated humanoids. It is much, much more that that. Early on the main character suffers unimaginable trauma which hits you hard. The caving trip happens a year later and the groups is still hugely grief stricken (for various reasons) and the trip is an attempt to restore some semblance of the lives they used to know.

The film is about grief.

There are also overtones of female identity. An all female cast, an exploration of what it is to be a mother and a wife and I've even read about the cave system itself being representative of a woman's body. I'm not sure if that's intentional or not but it's interesting.

The film is about womanhood.

What is fantastic about this movie is the ending. It's a little ambiguous and very much open to interpretation. Pretty bleak either way. Theories abound as to what the descent is. A descent into a cave system or a descent into madness. Our final glimpse of Sarah might indicate the latter and that then poses questions about the whole movie.

The film is about madness.

It's a proper horror and a cracking piece of British cinema.