Change Your Image
jlt86
Reviews
Sinister (2012)
Not Scary BUT Disturbing
Sinister is one of the rare horror movies to come out in recent years that actually makes an impression on the viewer by being an original work and will be remembered. I'm a HUGE horror fan, but I have to face the awful truth time and time again that horror movies today SUCK. They suck so incredibly bad. With the exception of Insidious and now, thankfully, Sinister, every horror movie to come out of recent years is certifiable trash. Everything is either a remake from earlier successes, a remake of a more successful foreign film, a movie about demonic possession, "torture porn" (and I did love the original Saw) or a mash-up of every cliché imaginable overdone with cheap CGI. Sinister works because it avoids all of these.
Instead of relying on cheap tricks, Sinister uses atmosphere, mood, tension and pretty good acting to heighten the horror. I didn't find the ACTUAL story all that scary; the "deity" didn't quite do it for me, but luckily, the movie didn't need to rely on it as its only means to produce scares. The one word that comes to mind when I think of Sinister is DISTURBING. It's not essentially a "scary" movie but a very dark and DISTURBING one. You understand this from the opening scene. The home videos that Ethan Hawke's character watches will definitely linger with you.
Sinister of course isn't perfect. I guessed the ending almost right away and knew what was happening. And why doesn't anyone turn on a light when they hear something scary at night? TURN ON THE FREAKIN' LIGHTS! Your kid suffers night terrors and wanders around outside? Lock his damn door! Characters in horror movies are usually pretty stupid and don't do what they're supposed to do anyway so you really can't hold that against this movie. The "pop-up" scares were predictable as well.
Even with silly flaws Sinister is successful because it goes back to the basic formula for making a genuine horror movie. Mood and atmosphere are scarier than any cheap CGI monster.
Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)
I knew it was SUPPOSED to be bad but...
This was really, REALLY bad. I know Sci-Fi original movies aren't diamonds and I usually have a really good sense of humor with them, but this was just unforgivable. The sharks were the worst things I have ever seen even with an expected sh**** budget. Were they albino sharks? I don't care. Joey Fatone getting eaten was the highlight but too bad you saw that in the commercial. I think I mostly HATED this movie because *SPOILER ALERT* NONE of the Jersey Shore parody cast members got eaten. I was SOOOOO disappointed; I really wanted to see the "Snooki" character get eaten. At least just ONE of them BUT THEY ALL LIVED! Wasn't the whole point of the movie to see the Jersey Shore characters get torn apart by sharks?! Anyway, the movie sucked even though it was supposed to suck. Worst.
The Avengers (2012)
Don't kill me for not giving it a perfect 10...
The Avengers was exactly what I thought it would be: loud, funny, action-filled and FUN. It was a BLAST watching all of the superheroes we've come to know so well fight together and with each other. Hulk vs Thor? YES PLEASE! The Hulk definitely stole the show in an AWESOME way. You probably won't blink once during the action/fight scenes. You wouldn't want to miss anything! All the greatness being said...there just could have been a little bit more to the story. All the fighting and loud noises distract you that there isn't TOO much of a story going on other than "team-up and save the world from an alien race we don't know much about." This is where I think I have been spoiled by The Dark Knight. The Dark Knight set the bar for story-telling for superhero movies; it was deep and really touched a nerve. If you cut it, it would bleed. I also wanted Hawkeye, to play a bigger part! ALL of that being said, you get what you expect from watching The Avengers: a REALLY good time where you don't have to think too hard to really appreciate it.
Prometheus (2012)
Not perfect but enjoyable...
Prometheus is probably one of those movies that you would appreciate more after seeing it for a second time. There's a lot to put together and you may miss something the first time you see it. That being said, it's definitely not perfect. Many viewers have complained that not enough questions are answered and there are too many plot holes. I find this forgivable because I think that "being TOLD" all of the answers takes away a sense of mystery. There is a MYSTERY in Prometheus that the characters are trying to solve. If they don't solve everything, how are they supposed to tell us everything about something they don't find answers for? I rather enjoyed piecing together bits of the puzzle by myself.
Prometheus definitely LOOKED fantastic. The set designs were amazing. I wish that there was just a little bit more of a foreboding atmosphere like what Scott created in the original Alien. The acting from the main characters (especially Fassbender)was great, but there were a lot of other characters that you really didn't get to learn/care about especially when they died. I wasn't too thrilled with the ending and thought it was a bit anti-climatic; left a little too open for my taste.
Prometheus was fun to watch despite its flaws. It definitely was NOT the worst movie associated with the Alien franchise, but definitely not the best.
Burlesque (2010)
You'd find more enjoyment in watching your dog throw up than this...
I'm not a musical fan, but I can admit when one is good (Sweeney Todd, Chicago). Burlesque, however, is terrible on all levels: acting, story, characters..name it and this movie sucks at it. I wasn't expecting a stellar performance from Christina Aguilera (I don't even care how to spell her last name) but whatever you want to call it, it was BADDDD. It was probably because her character was so annoying. Really, I hated the main character; just so stupid. Why the hell didn't she just start singing in the first place and make Cher shut the hell up?? Cher's character was a pain in the ass too; just the shut up and listen to someone for s**t's sake. What killed me the most was the WORST romance in a movie I have ever seen. Holy freakin' s*** was the love story so lame. The guy's engaged, then thinks it will be fine to share his apartment with a nice piece of @$$, watches her get changed and perform half naked then "falls in love with her." Just so terrible. Oh yeah, then his fiancé walks in on them in bed. HAHAHAA. Worst. Oh, about the music...some of it is good, not going to lie about that. Unfortunately though, it's not enough to save this trainwreck..or Stanley Tucci for that matter. I like Tucci, and it's a shame he's connected to this movie. For better entertainment, I would recommend chewing glass or whatever other horrible thing you can think of doing. Amen.
Insidious (2010)
Definitely the Best Scary Movie in a LOOOOOONG Time...
Insidious is by FAR the best scary movie to come out in what feels like a very VERY long time. It wasn't just a "good" scary movie, but a genuinely "scary" scary movie. From the opening shot to the credits, everything just seemed to work. There were no big special effects and there was no cheesy CGI which in my opinion, really brings down the quality of supernatural movies. The scares were genuine and a few parts really had the whole audience gasping and jumping out of their seats. I myself had chills...which hasn't happened with any scary movie in the past 8 years. Granted, it's not a perfect movie, and there are some of the usual scary movie clichés, but in no way do they rob the movie of being enjoyable. Overall, Insidious is creepy and very scary and most importantly, a FUN movie to watch. It gives you the scare you want and the enjoyment you want from walking through a Haunted House during Halloween time. After watching this movie, horror directors and writers should takes notes and tips from James Wan and Leigh Whannel.
Your Highness (2011)
You Know What You're Getting Yourself Into
I really can't bash this movie too much. Basically, if you went to go see it, you should have known what to expect to see and if you didn't like it, it's your own fault. Just because Natalie Portman is in it, doesn't mean you're going to see an Oscar worthy film. Your Highness accomplishes what it meant to do which was to be a raunchy "stoner" comedy. Although, it's pegged as a "stoner" comedy, you really don't have to be a "stoner" to have some laughs. And really, just lighten up, turn your brain off, and have some laughs. Yes, it IS funny hearing the "F" word being said during medieval times. That being said however, I do feel that the movie did fall short in certain areas. It COULD HAVE been funnier. Some jokes just felt like recycled jokes from earlier on in the film. Also, James Franco was definitely underutilized. Although he was supposed to be the dashing prince, he could have been funny while doing so. In the end, if you actually paid money to go see this, you can't b!tch about it sucking. You should've known what you were getting yourself into.
The Village (2004)
Suffered for Being Advertised Wrong
I just watched this movie the other day when it was on TV. I saw it in the theater when it came out but I didn't really remember it too well. After watching it for a second time, I realized that it was a pretty good movie with a genuinely interesting plot. In fact, all of M. Night's movies are good (except for The Happening...which is the movie we will not speak of). The problem with all of his films including The Village is that they are advertised wrong. The Village was advertised as a horror movie when in actuality, it's not. Ever since The Sixth Sense, everyone has been expecting M. Night to scare them...but this is not what he does. Most of his movies are fantasy-dramas with engaging stories and characters you come to care about. Although scary, even The Sixth Sense wasn't a horror movie. The Village succeeds on so many levels such as in the set design, atmosphere, characters and twist ending. Everyone needs to give M. Night some credit as a master storyteller and quit criticizing him for not being scary enough. His films are enjoyable when you're willing to enjoy them for what they are.
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Not Bad but Not Anywhere Near Great
I can honestly say that I do not find the Paranormal Activity movies horrifying but I do give them credit for indeed being disturbing. They offer chills and might cause you to keep looking over your shoulder when you are alone in your house, but I expected a lot more from the second film. I didn't see this in the theater (I saw Saw 3D instead...worst) so maybe I missed out. But watching this at home, I felt that most of the movie was just footage where you're just waiting and watching for something to actually happen. Nothing remotely interesting happens for a long time into the movie. What I want to know is why did the demon start off with a bang and trash the house in the beginning, then just go around moving bedroom doors? We see that the demon really hates the pool cleaner but doesn't cause any real disturbance for awhile. I found myself yawning a lot through most of it but when the real action started occurring it was enough to keep me interested and redeem the movie. I heard about the alternate ending, and yeah it's disturbing, but you kind of figure that that's what happened anyway even though you don't see it in the theatrical version. The acting wasn't too bad either. I found them all pretty believable. Overall, this movie wasn't horrible but nowhere near being great. It was a good movie to watch in the dark right before bed that wouldn't give you nightmares.
My Soul to Take (2010)
So what was this about?
I honestly really don't know what this movie was about. I kept zoning out because it was soooooooooooooooo BORING. The movie showed SOME potential during the bloody opening which was the typical traditional slasher movie mayhem. After that though, the movie just went downhill at a severe 90 degree angle. We meet the 7 "Ripper" kids and honestly, you really don't give a sh!t about any of them. They're all stereotypical slasher characters: the @$$hole jock, the pretty preppy biotch, the quirky Asian, the religious fanatic, the not-so-bad looking outcast, a black kid and the jokester best friend. We really don't care about them when they start dying. For a good chunk of the movie, you forget it's a horror movie and all of the high school nonsense makes you feel like you're watching Mean Girls but with the F-word. There really is no twist ending either. They try to trick you up so much about who the killer is by using a very "Scream-like" formula. You really don't care WHO it is, you just want the movie to end. It's actually quite ridiculous at the end when the Ripper is in the main character's house. The protagonist is calling out "Ripper?" like he's actually going to answer. My Soul To Take is totally laughable if you can stay awake for the whole thing. If you can stay awake, don't expect to be surprised, scared or impressed at all. You're actually better off falling asleep and hope you have a scary nightmare instead.
Let Me In (2010)
Stays true to the book for the most part
For those that are looking for a really scary horror movie, this probably isn't for you. For those of you looking for the new vampire romance "twilight-esque" story, this isn't for you. Let Me In is a very unique and different kind of vampire story all in itself. It actually tells a very touching story about a blossoming friendship. Granted that it does have its share of bloody, grisly and horrific moments, but the story doesn't rely on them. I myself prefer the really bloody, nasty, scary vampires over the shiny, glittering, pretty boy ones. I read the book (Let the Right One In) and loved it and was extremely excited to see this movie. I wasn't disappointed. The pace, the feel, the suspense all matched the book. Some may have found the movie progressing too slowly,but I think you'd understand it better upon reading it. My only complaint was that they left out some important plot points AND scary parts from the book. Overall though, this was a very well done book to movie adaption.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
Great for the fans, but could have been better...
I'm a HUGE fan of the Resident Evil games and I do enjoy the movies...even though the predecessors of Afterlife hardly had anything to do with the actual game; Wesker wasn't even mentioned until the 3rd installment, and Jill Valentine's part in 2 pretty much...well..sucked (I thought the actress was horrible and they made her into a total b!tch). Despite all that though, who doesn't like zombie movies? When I saw the trailer for Afterlife, I was PSYCHED! It looked like there was SO much more stuff in it that fans would appreciate and love to see, ie: Wesker and Chris Redfield fight, the big axe guy, etc. Although I loved seeing all of that, I was still kind of disappointed. There was a TON of cheesy slow motion scenes and I was really getting sick of seeing it. I just wanted to yell, "Just let them fight and stop slowing it down!" The "big axe guy" fight was VERY disappointing; the character that fought him, shouldn't have. They should have had Chris fight him. Probably the thing I hated the most was Ali Larter doing a backflip off of a wall...yeah, that was so unnecessary. Overall, I did enjoy the movie although not as much as I really wanted to. By the way, after a few minutes during the end credits, a scene will play which leads us to believe there will be ANOTHER movie.
True Grit (2010)
I'm not a Western fan, but True Grit was great
I usually don't care for Westerns or cowboys, but True Grit was very well made and very enjoyable. There are excellent performances from the entire cast, including the young girl. Typically, kids are annoying in movies, but she delivered a strong performance. Bridges was great (and funny) as the drunken marshall. Matt Damon was great and even the small performance from Josh Brolin and Barry Pepper were very well-done. I found this movie to actually be really funny at some parts. At points the whole audience was laughing. The only disappointment I had was that the ending felt rushed. It seemed as if it ended too abruptly and you wanted more from the climax. I'm really surprised that this movie was not nominated for anything at the Golden Globes. I'm still not a Western fan, but True Grit was definitely a good movie.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
If you got rid of all of the humans it would have been better...
Let me just start off saying that I loved the first Transformers movie. The action, acting and comedic timing were all perfect. Even the story was good. This is probably why Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen breaks my heart. The 5 stars I give this movie go ONLY towards the Autobots and Decepticons and their amazing fights and action sequences. The real problem with this movie is with the humans. Cut the humans out and you have a good action movie. What's wrong with the humans? Let me count the ways: 1.) Sam's parents (primarily his mother) are so damn annoying. I really was about to shut the movie off when they go to drop Sam off at college. 2.) Speaking of college, what college is Sam going to? "We're ALL Hot People College?" Where are all the ugly chicks wearing pajamas that were in my classes? Of course I wouldn't mind attending college that had nothing but hot people in it but this college was only one that Michael Bay could dream up. 3.) Sam is an idiot. Who wouldn't want to take their robot car to college? 4.) Megan Fox was...well, Megan Fox. I'm sorry, how did she smuggle a mini Decepticon onto a plane? 5.) Sam's college roommate....omg so annoying and not funny. Even though it was a PG-13 movie, I was BEGGING to see this guy blown away into little fleshy red bits. 6.) John Turturo wasn't funny. 7.) Not humans, but we all could have done without the twin stereotypical racial robots.
Overall, Michael Bay tried to do TOO much. He tried too hard to make it funny whereas it just came naturally in the first one. Everything in this movie fails except for the CGI.
Tron: Legacy (2010)
Delivers Exactly What Viewers Would Want
I'll be honest. I hated the original Tron. In fact I have fallen asleep every time I have tried to watch it, whether it have been in my high school science class to trying to watch it again before seeing the new one. But Tron Legacy really fixed what the original did wrong...in that it wasn't boring. Yes, it is visually pleasing and yes the CGI was great, but also the story was something that the audience could grasp and ALMOST fully understand and follow. The action was great. Even the soundtrack worked incredible well. Every element worked together to really bring the viewer into its cyber world. I loved it. Tron Legacy really makes up for my hate for the original Tron.
Session 9 (2001)
Very Underrated
Session 9 is perhaps one of the most underrated and unknown psychological horrors of all time. From the very beginning, the atmosphere is set perfectly and the asylum is an excellent, truly creepy setting. Session 9 is not a slasher film and doesn't feature traditional (and corny) "jump out" scares. The real scares come through the "patient interview" tapes that one character is listening to throughout the movie. Really listen to what they're saying in the tapes; it'll make your skin crawl. The true horror is really how sinister and evil it is on a deeper level than just Michael Myers and Leatherface slashing up horny teenagers. The one disappointment I had with this film was that when it was over, I found myself wishing that there was MORE to it. With such a scary setting, I felt that A LOT more could have been done. The basis of the story IS disturbing, and I felt that it was not addressed or developed enough. I wanted to know more about the asylum and its patients.
Overall, Session 9 will disturb you. Although not developed as much as I would have hoped, it gets the job done where some parts will really leave your hair on end.
Saw VI (2009)
FINALLY it got better instead of worse....
I've been hooked on the Saw franchise ever since I saw the first one in the theater. They're my bloody-soap operas so to speak. Although I love the series, and always look forward to the next installment every Halloween, there really hasn't been a good addition to the series for some time now. Saw 2 was good but was really predictable and Saw 3 was the beginning of the decline. Personally, Saw 4 and 5 were pretty awful, lol, and I was afraid that the franchise would just continue to spiral downward instead of upward. This is why it was desperately needed for Saw 6 to be good...and it is..and it delivers.
Saw 6 is such a MAJOR step up from the previous installments. A lot of questions get answered (although not all...not yet). The traps take on that more "primitive" feel as in the first one instead of the more highly unrealistic and high tech contraptions (ie: the closing walls in 5). As always, there is a twist in the ending...and it's just delightful.
Saw 6 is not perfect, but it succeeds by returning to the original roots of Saw and is a huge glimmer of hope for the end of the series and sets up Saw 7 nicely. I CAN'T WAIT!!
Julie & Julia (2009)
I HATED Julie...should have just been JuliA and JuliA
Maybe it's not fair for me to judge this movie because I don't watch this stuff to begin with. I'm all about action, sci-fi and horror. I only watched this house while I was pet sitting and there was absolutely nothing on. Anyway, here goes: Meryl Streep as Julia was good. I never have anything bad to say about Meryl; she really is a talented actress and brought Julia to life. If this movie was just "Julia" without the "Julie" I probably would have liked it better, but...I HATED Julie. OMG, SHE WAS SOOOOO ANNOYING!! Amy Adams as Julie was just an attention-starved, lazy cry-baby. "WAAAH! I NEVER FINISH ANYTHING!!" That's just because you're a lazy a$$hole. Maybe if she were cooking for a different reason, I'd like her better, but all she does is complain and whine. Also, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HER HUSBAND LOVES HER. If I were her husband, I'd probably throw her out of the apartment. I don't know how he puts up with her.
So yeah, I hate Julie but JuliA is good. Julie with all her whining just made me want to throw up my last meal.
The Unborn (2009)
Blows
Granted, pretty much every horror movie these days sucks...and maybe I'm just taking my frustration out on this one...BUT, The Unborn blows by every definition of the word. There is too much going on and none of it feels scary. Dream sequences of finding fetuses in jars, scratchy noises behind mirrors, bugs everywhere, creepy kids (cliche), Nazi concentration camps, old Hebrew books, dogs with twisted heads....by the end of the movie you just feel like saying "wtf was that all for?" The one star I gave this movie goes to Gary Oldman who I hope they paid a lot for even showing his face in this piece of trash. As for the lead actress, Odette...the only thing she seems to be good at it is looking scared in her tighty-whiteys for any guys that might watch this. The Unborn sucks on so many levels and the writers probably should have just "aborted" this movie during the early stages of filming.
Piranha 3D (2010)
It accomplished what it meant to do.....
Just by judging by the trailers you can pretty much guess that this is a horror movie that does not take itself too seriously. There is no ingenious plot, there won't be stellar acting and there won't be a shred of decency. So how does some hokey horror film get such decent reviews? Because it accomplishes doing what it was meant to do...being a dumb hokey horror film that you would find back in the 80s. Just sit back, don't think and enjoy the buckets and buckets of gore. There is no shortage of nudity or bloody water. When the fish frenzy starts, you really don't feel bad at all for any of the party-goers. They're acting like a bunch of assholes anyway, so you can thoroughly enjoy the "all you can eat buffet" scenes without any guilt. The fish attacks and death scenes are gory, grisly and hardly leave anything to the imagination. The 3D however, does not make any of this any more effective. You hardly ever feel like anything is coming at you (except for when someone throws up right onto the camera). Also, most of the "bigger-name" cameos don't get enough screen time. I would have liked to have seen more of Christopher Lloyd and Eli Roth...and a little less Jerry O'Connel.
If you don't like bloody movies, or if you feel uncomfortable with nudity in movies then THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. Also...THIS IS NOT FOR KIDS. Again, don't take it seriously. Just turn your brain off, sit back and enjoy one of the more decent horror movies over the past few years.
Kick-Ass (2010)
Much Better Than What I Thought it Would Be
At first, when I saw the previews for Kick Ass, it didn't really look all that interesting...until I saw why it received an R rating. This movie was SO much better than what I thought it would be. The important thing to keep in mind is, don't take it TOO seriously and don't take it TOO personally. People complain about 11 year old Hit Girl having a filthy mouth, a high body count, and bloody murderous fight scenes...but seriously people, GET OVER IT. You see what it's rated R for so it goes without saying that Kick Ass is not for everyone...particularly those that get sick at the sight of blood. If you think a movie is going to be offensive to you...don't watch it...and therefore you won't have to bitch about it later.
Kick Ass is bloody good fun, stylish, fast paced and not for the feint of heart. If you're not easily offended (or have a stick wedged up your ass) you're in for a good time.
Year One (2009)
Could Have Been Great
Short and simple: this movie could have been great. When I first saw the trailer, I was so excited to see this movie. Harold Ramis, Michael Cera, Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Vinnie Jones...there are so many good names in this movie that can draw in a crowd...and the crowds were apparently not pleased. I was so upset when I saw how this movie bombed in the theater and just got it from the library yesterday and watched it....and am I glad I saw it for free. A lot of it just wasn't funny or was stuff that we have seen in other movies before. Another thing that bothered me was Michael Cera. He was GREAT in Superbad, but he plays the SAME character in every movie. We get it, he's very good at being awkward, but show us a different character. Another thing, what was the plot of this movie? The ending makes you think, "soooo what was the point of all of this?" Overall, this was a bad comedy and not worth the price to rent it.
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
Sooo boring
This movie is not scary, suspenseful, well-written, well-acted, exciting or good at all. I found myself falling asleep throughout the whole thing, because hardly anything happens. I was waiting for something interesting to happen...but nothing came...ever. The "house" that everyone was hyping up is not atmospheric at all. Also, this movie has the WORST acting I've seen in awhile. Camilla was truly awful. Everyone in interviews regarding the movie was saying how believable she is. Umm, nope. "Hello? hello?..." Give me a break. You know exactly what's going to happen and who's going to die. Oh, and if you think that there's a twist, there isn't one. A total waste of time.