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Velma (2023– )
1/10
Who is this for?
23 January 2023
Before I get into it, go watch Mystety Incorporated. It's everything this show thinks it is but actually done well. This show only serves to display what not to do when taking an established IP and experimenting with it. It took a universally loved and approachable IP like Scooby-Doo Doo which has been around for decades and basically injected it with the toxic cynicism of social media, all the worst aspects of liberal ideologies, and served them to us with the wit of that one kid we all went to school with who thought they were edgy, too smart, and inevitably brought every argument back to "but if Hitler..." I'm a man so to some that immediately invalidates my criticism but it's strange to me that there is no one to root for in this show. All of the men are portrayed as stupid, shallow, and weak. Velma isn't the first show to do this, but then the female characters are also stupid, shallow, weak, and mean. Who are we supposed to follow because Velma is the worst of the lot and at the start most people seem indifferent to her until she actively interacts with them and drives them to animosity.

Outrage about the race swapping is kinda dumb, Velma in particular has been raceswapped multiple times, it happens. The real outrage should be how each character is now a stereotype of their new race. Why was Daphne, the only character who is good at martial arts in the canon, Asian now? Why is Fred suddenly ultra wealthy and spoiled despite that also being an attribute Daphne has always held? The show is literally trying to get points for being inclusive while actually cramming characters into stereotype boxes.

The show isn't funny. I could go down the checklist of how the jokes are just dated and lame but then I'd be putting more effort into this review than the writers of the show did and unlike them I'm not getting paid for this.

Lastely, why is this so sexualized? Episode one basically opens with underaged girls in the shower, why?! Why couldn't they at least have set this when the gang are in college? It doesn't make showing girls in the shower any less pandering g but at least they're of age. It's just gross that the show draws attention to the bodies and genitals of underaged people and thinks it's funny. It just shouldn't be a thing and it's easily fixed.

Don't even hate watch this show, it thinks you're dumb enough to enjoy it and there are countless better shows out there for you to watch. Punish HBO for releasing this and expecting you to pay for it with your hard-earned money.

My only regret is the animators actually did so solid work but their efforts resulted in this dumpsterfire.
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They/Them (2022)
2/10
Kind of a bait and switch
20 November 2022
I actually decided to check this film out after hearing the premise. The opening gave a standard tone setting kill and then the movie just fell flat. The cast are all cartoons and once everyone was introduced I'm sad to say I immediately figured out who the killer was and their motivation.

The movie desperately wants to tackle important topics but lacks the skill to do so in a smart way. Some scenes you can tell the writer pat themselves on the back thinking they did something and it just wasn't good.

They/Them works better as an after school special than a slasher and if you edit out the 20ish mins of actual horror it world be just that. I'm fine with more representation in horror but I'd like it without sacrificing the horror.
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