I was privileged to attend the European premiere of SALOMEA'S NOSE at Berlinale Talents yesterday; and am still glowing from its energy, wit, cinematic prowess and emotional resonance. Rarely do you see a Short Film that accomplishes so much, and so exquisitely. I would go so far to say that SALOMEA'S NOSE deserves an Oscar and Bafta nomination, and I very much hope the producers submit the film for consideration. A heartfelt congratulations to all involved, and especially the writer-director Susan Korda for bringing all elements (visual, dramatic, narrative, production design, costume, make-up, music and editorial) together so intuitively. A must-see Short!....
Reviews
9 Reviews
A Vampire's Tale
(2009)
A fantastic debut movie!
8 April 2010
First things first: this is not a 100 Million Dollar Movie, but that doesn't stop the viewer enjoying the hell out of it. For anyone who wants to see how to make a horror movie on a low budget, but with lashings of atmosphere, tension and style, UMBRAGE is a great place to start. Doug Bradley reveals a side to him we've never seen before (that he is in fact a human being and not a cenobite in real life as i had previously suspected) And for the haters: well, i'd LOVE to see them try and make a movie this effective in the current dire state of UK Film financing. It's much easier to criticise from the comfort of your basement internet den, surrounded by your pristine DVD collection and Forbidden Planet collectibles, than to get off your asses and produce a movie, isn't it? I lay down that challenge to you: GO AND MAKE A MOVIE!!! This film-making team have got all the right moves, and I can't wait to see what they make next...
A great episode for Miami Vice fans
9 January 2007
I just saw this episode on TV whilst having lunch at home on a rainy January afternoon in London....
Being a Miami Vice fan, I loved the inclusion of a character called Sonny Burnett (Crockett's undercover name) which - at first - I thought was just an innocuous homage.
It transpires that the episode is shaped around an undercover operation, and they mention Miami Vice twice. For a chronic (some would say obsessed) fan of Michael Mann's seminal show, this was a nice touch!.........
Yeah I know, I should get out more!............
You know what though: DIAGNOSIS MURDER is really good!!!..........you gotta love Van Dyke!.........
Being a Miami Vice fan, I loved the inclusion of a character called Sonny Burnett (Crockett's undercover name) which - at first - I thought was just an innocuous homage.
It transpires that the episode is shaped around an undercover operation, and they mention Miami Vice twice. For a chronic (some would say obsessed) fan of Michael Mann's seminal show, this was a nice touch!.........
Yeah I know, I should get out more!............
You know what though: DIAGNOSIS MURDER is really good!!!..........you gotta love Van Dyke!.........
I was the cameraman on this show....
1 October 2006
I was one of 2 cameramen on this show and the sewage treatment episode was without doubt the smelliest, most vomit-inducing day of my life. In fact I still gag when I think about it. In fact I'm gagging right now. The sewage treatment plant was the repository of thousands of turds, used condoms, congealed fat, and other assorted nastiness. I'm gagging again....
I want to go on record and defend Nikki. She's actually a really nice person, and quite a vulnerable one. She's been thrown into the spotlight for her 15 minutes of fame, and she's doing her best to entertain people with her loud, cartoonish behaviour. What would you do in the same situation? So I don't see why people are so nasty about her. She's a 24 year old girl having fun and trying to forge a career in the entertainment industry, not a brain surgeon or a priest....
This week we're shooting the last episode of PRINCESS NIKKI, and no doubt I'm going to up to my knees in sh#t and rats yet again!?! I'll be glad when it's over, but I've enjoyed every sh#t/rat/maggot-infested moment of it!! Big up Nikki Graham and the whole production team!.....
I want to go on record and defend Nikki. She's actually a really nice person, and quite a vulnerable one. She's been thrown into the spotlight for her 15 minutes of fame, and she's doing her best to entertain people with her loud, cartoonish behaviour. What would you do in the same situation? So I don't see why people are so nasty about her. She's a 24 year old girl having fun and trying to forge a career in the entertainment industry, not a brain surgeon or a priest....
This week we're shooting the last episode of PRINCESS NIKKI, and no doubt I'm going to up to my knees in sh#t and rats yet again!?! I'll be glad when it's over, but I've enjoyed every sh#t/rat/maggot-infested moment of it!! Big up Nikki Graham and the whole production team!.....
The Gladiator
(1986 TV Movie)
Tarantino's DEATH PROOF.....
24 May 2006
I love Abel Ferrara, but I'm guessing he was slightly high when he accepted this gig and had some bills to pay?? No that's cruel. Although the film stock and general production values of this are shoddy and televisual, Ferrara's gritty aesthetic just about peers through the sanitised veneer of this one. His mechanic best buddy is a nice character, and there are a few unintentional laughs to be had. Overall though, if this was your first insight into abel ferrara, then it would be a bad one to pick...Choose Ms.45, King of New York, Bad Lieutenant or Fear City instead....
I believe Tarantino's segment of the forthcoming film GRINDHOUSE is about a killer, hit-and-run car.....I'm sure he's seen this one then! I also had the (mis)fortune of watching BLACK MOON RISING on the same day!? Also about cars/car chases/the fetishisation of driving souped up cars in the US. Is this the direction that Tarantino is travelling???.....
I believe Tarantino's segment of the forthcoming film GRINDHOUSE is about a killer, hit-and-run car.....I'm sure he's seen this one then! I also had the (mis)fortune of watching BLACK MOON RISING on the same day!? Also about cars/car chases/the fetishisation of driving souped up cars in the US. Is this the direction that Tarantino is travelling???.....
Droid Gunner
(1995)
Fantastic Shlock!!!!!
19 May 2006
me and a coupla friends form university - alberto lopez, dave hall, celina alcock (we graduated from uea, norwich, uk in 1997) still get together and watch b-movies once a month.
We are consummate experts in the art of bad movie-making, and this film was quickly placed in the top 10 of awful/brilliant movies.
so if you've just got the beers and weed in, and need a film to laugh like a drain at, DROID GUNNER aka PHOENIX 2 is the film for you! Marc Singer is totally aware he's in a turkey of a film here, and milks it for everything he can! Matthius Hues is sublime in his wooden acting and musclebound moronity (is that a word??) as he grunts "But I want my 20 thousand!" Pure Shlock Gold! If you liked this, also see: TRANCERS, THE RUNESTONE, DOLLMAN and anything by Charles Band or Fred Olen Ray.....(but be warned: some of their films are completely and utterly without merit and you'll be screaming for those lost hours of your life!!!?!).
We are consummate experts in the art of bad movie-making, and this film was quickly placed in the top 10 of awful/brilliant movies.
so if you've just got the beers and weed in, and need a film to laugh like a drain at, DROID GUNNER aka PHOENIX 2 is the film for you! Marc Singer is totally aware he's in a turkey of a film here, and milks it for everything he can! Matthius Hues is sublime in his wooden acting and musclebound moronity (is that a word??) as he grunts "But I want my 20 thousand!" Pure Shlock Gold! If you liked this, also see: TRANCERS, THE RUNESTONE, DOLLMAN and anything by Charles Band or Fred Olen Ray.....(but be warned: some of their films are completely and utterly without merit and you'll be screaming for those lost hours of your life!!!?!).
Spasmo
(1974)
I could take you now, and you'd like it, even with the beard.
19 July 2003
SPASMO is a gem, and possibly THE most preposterous, infinitely quotable, bafflingly ridiculous film i have ever seen!
The first half hour provides more belly laughs and crazy soundbites than most comedies, and this is supposed to be a deadly serious psychological horror film.
Find SPASMO. But first: watch the trailer! It's got to be the best trailer in the history of trailers; with a ranting, fevered italian bloke panting/groaning the word "SPASMO" at least ten times, ending in a final uttering of "SPASMO!" that sounds like he's constipated on the toilet, desperately trying to squeeze one out!
Wonderful, wonderful stuff. A joy to behold....
The first half hour provides more belly laughs and crazy soundbites than most comedies, and this is supposed to be a deadly serious psychological horror film.
Find SPASMO. But first: watch the trailer! It's got to be the best trailer in the history of trailers; with a ranting, fevered italian bloke panting/groaning the word "SPASMO" at least ten times, ending in a final uttering of "SPASMO!" that sounds like he's constipated on the toilet, desperately trying to squeeze one out!
Wonderful, wonderful stuff. A joy to behold....
We loved this one!
17 July 2003
Me and my shlock buddy Bison Lewis just sat down to check out this turkey; and ended up enjoying the hell outta it!!!
Great villain - a rival to Vernon Welles in Commando (actually, no one can really rival Vernon in hammy villain status!)
Great terrible brilliant and awful, all in one!!
Best feature: the smiling foetus in a jar - the very future of humanity!!!
Rent and Enjoy!
Great villain - a rival to Vernon Welles in Commando (actually, no one can really rival Vernon in hammy villain status!)
Great terrible brilliant and awful, all in one!!
Best feature: the smiling foetus in a jar - the very future of humanity!!!
Rent and Enjoy!
Danger: Diabolik
(1968)
An often derided movie that deserves to be seen.
10 February 2002
I first saw 'Danger:Diabolik' on British television when I was 5 years old, peeking from behind the sofa when I was supposed to be in bed fast asleep. The next morning I thought the whole experience had been a vivid and bizarre dream. The film has fascinated me ever since.
Mario Bava's film is a hallucinatory, artistic, but undercooked and under-budgeted concoction which never quite coheres into the film we want it to be. 'Danger: Diabolik' nonetheless conjures up some masterful cult moments that richly reward the intrepid viewer who is willing to brave (and embrace) some ropey filler scenes and awful dubbing.
The magic of this film is sometimes missed by the casual viewer, and many of those who I have lent my copy to have simply stopped watching half way through, as the plot gets bogged down in the muddled, leaden Valmont scenes.
The magic of this film for me lies in this childhood connection that I have. Diabolik is indeed (as many viewers have pointed out) amoral and selfish. He kills people and lives only for his hedonistic indulgence. But this isn't really the point. Diabolik's greed is a metaphor of all our material greed and fantasies of self-indulgence [for more on this, see the definitive article on 'Danger:Diabolik' on the 'dvd savant' website] Diabolik, in all his piecing glances, hystrionic leaping, minimal dialogue, fetishistic costumes, and designer love parlours is very much like an irrational, inexplicable dream that we read our own meanings and desires into. Diabolik is a hypnotic, mysterious figure beyond judgement and law; he's not a real person in any way, and is not supposed to be one. His love for Eva is an erotic, wet dream and has nothing to do with anything except sensual pleasure and wish-fulfillment, and these scenes linger on as if the editor had forgotten to cut the film.
Bava denies us (or is perhaps incapable of constructing) a conventional, well-paced narrative, or a palatable, structured story. Instead he gives us a psychadelic reverie. A string of moments to enjoy and remember. Oh, and some really crap bits too, there's no denying!
DON'T WATCH THIS FILM IF YOU HAVE A SHORT, MTV ATTENTION SPAN OR NO APPRECIATION OF EURO-TRASH / PSYCHOTRONIC CINEMA.
I agree that 'Danger:Diabolik' isn't everything it could be, but it almost succeeds in achieving pop-art genius on several occasions. Definitely worth checking out. Just put your normal movie expectations aside for this one and you might love it!
If you are a big fan of 'Danger:Diabolik', or just feel like debating it, please feel free to email me!....
Mario Bava's film is a hallucinatory, artistic, but undercooked and under-budgeted concoction which never quite coheres into the film we want it to be. 'Danger: Diabolik' nonetheless conjures up some masterful cult moments that richly reward the intrepid viewer who is willing to brave (and embrace) some ropey filler scenes and awful dubbing.
The magic of this film is sometimes missed by the casual viewer, and many of those who I have lent my copy to have simply stopped watching half way through, as the plot gets bogged down in the muddled, leaden Valmont scenes.
The magic of this film for me lies in this childhood connection that I have. Diabolik is indeed (as many viewers have pointed out) amoral and selfish. He kills people and lives only for his hedonistic indulgence. But this isn't really the point. Diabolik's greed is a metaphor of all our material greed and fantasies of self-indulgence [for more on this, see the definitive article on 'Danger:Diabolik' on the 'dvd savant' website] Diabolik, in all his piecing glances, hystrionic leaping, minimal dialogue, fetishistic costumes, and designer love parlours is very much like an irrational, inexplicable dream that we read our own meanings and desires into. Diabolik is a hypnotic, mysterious figure beyond judgement and law; he's not a real person in any way, and is not supposed to be one. His love for Eva is an erotic, wet dream and has nothing to do with anything except sensual pleasure and wish-fulfillment, and these scenes linger on as if the editor had forgotten to cut the film.
Bava denies us (or is perhaps incapable of constructing) a conventional, well-paced narrative, or a palatable, structured story. Instead he gives us a psychadelic reverie. A string of moments to enjoy and remember. Oh, and some really crap bits too, there's no denying!
DON'T WATCH THIS FILM IF YOU HAVE A SHORT, MTV ATTENTION SPAN OR NO APPRECIATION OF EURO-TRASH / PSYCHOTRONIC CINEMA.
I agree that 'Danger:Diabolik' isn't everything it could be, but it almost succeeds in achieving pop-art genius on several occasions. Definitely worth checking out. Just put your normal movie expectations aside for this one and you might love it!
If you are a big fan of 'Danger:Diabolik', or just feel like debating it, please feel free to email me!....
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