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Reviews
Ballerina (2023)
Mediocrity best consumed with lots of Popcorn
I was intriqued with the premises, a Bad Ass Female that plows her way Jane Wick style to dish a cold revenge in the name of her deceased friend (it is in the trailer)
But it seems that this movie is having trouble between a modern flick or living in the past with the color pallete that more resembles a Wong Kar Wai classic, or at least to me.
The background of the protagonist is not well fleshed out, you don't get to be a bad ass assassin overnight. The motive for suicide is not very believeable, people have leaked sex tape and it doesn't simply turn into suicide, and rich people with BDSM fetish don't simply kill people for the sake of it. That's a different fetish.
But anyway, I get it that it's an action flick and have to leave my brain at the shelf. But a lot of the actions have been done to death, bloody bruised female protagonist that somehow win, cliche stupid goons who charges towards a gun, a supposedly badass female who dont check her gun for jam.
The main actress can't act. I get it that you're a mysterious, socially awkward bodyguard or assassin or something, but that doesn't mean you only get 1 face for every emotion
Oh well... just enjoy your popcorn, overall it's an ok movie if you can somehow suspend your disbelief.
Heart of Stone (2023)
It's Netflix House Recipe
I think people are too harsh when judging popcorn flick. This is done with the same quality as bullet train, red notice, gray man, 6 underground and many similar Netflix originals that are normally not that groundbreaking but funnily enough people (or at least me) are looking forward to it
Dont expect action masterpiece to the level of Mission Impossible or a nice acting like Scorcesse movie but come on it's Gal Gadot. She alone deserves the 2 hour screentime.
Plot wise it's as the trailer suggest and no chocolate bar for guessing it's a happy ending. Doh.
But all in all for a movie with Gal Gadot, cool car chases, cgi daredevil stun and at no extra cost if you're a Netflix subscriber I don't think one can complain too much.
Just turn off your brain and enjoy the movie.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Bland, 2 step back to old spy movie
Spoiler ahead, dont read if you haven't watch it
I cant believe they killed Ilsa and replace it with Grace (Hailey Atwell). She's too bubly and comical, and they somehow made Ilsa a bubbling sidekick with no nouse of an Mi6 top agent. Ethan was lamer this time as if he got caught in a limelight.
They cant seem to decide whether to go with super high tech MI movies or going back to old sleight of hand trick which is very unbelievable. Even the best of thieves can't pick pocket the professionals not once but like several times in a minute. Come on guys... They're supposed to be a pro and somehow they got pickpocketed by the oldest trick in the world.
And Hailey again oh my she's trying to be the star of the show and somehow made it to become an IMF member because she can... Eer... Pickpocket well? At least Benji and Luther was top hacker and Ethan is a superman. The girl can't act. Sure he's eye candy and aluring but this is IMF universe, not some merry go lucky happy bunch. The stakes are high but the way Uncle Sam is treating the whole thing looks amateurish.
Shea Wigum from Boardwalk Empire just ruins the whole movie. As if they decide a group of fools can somehow jump into the action without any sort of coordination. What's more important, the key or catching Ethan? With everything at stake you'd think they'll either help Ethan or throw everything to at least get along with the program.
The fight scene are laughable considering where we are technology wise. The super cool french chick who was supposed to be the ace henchman got blindsided too easy. In a world where they have all the gadget in the world they resort to knifes? And steel pipes? And Ethan who has no problem shooting bad guys all over the world from Berlin to Abu Dhabi somehow refuse to kill the main evil bar guys.
And Gabriel? A laughable antagonist who's only good at knife, i mean come on... At least the previous bad guys are rich and have henchman to do their job.
And dont get me started on a covert Russian submarine with a crew who spoke perfect English..
FUBAR (2023)
Fun Popcorn and it's Arnie
I never for a moment thought Arnie is gonna bomb. He dont take the Rambo route so he's never in danger of humiliating himself as a past it gramp.
It's actually an over the top comedy so it's all about churning those laugh and they did get a couple of laugh from me, at least from so much 2-3 episode in.
Barbaro is a revelation, pretty and witty and charmingly sexy in a non sensual way. Arnie being Arnie and he's written as a past it agent not some kind of superhero.
Take it as a sitcom and you'll enjoy this more. Dont take it too serious.
My only beef was the supporting cast is annoying. Especially the 2 extra whose name I cant bother to remember. Barry was ok as the 3rd wheel to ping pong dialogs
And... I know it's comedy but no way a real life larger than life Barbaro character could fall for a dork like that.
Tin lung baat bou (2023)
Boring, Convulated Mess.
It's an adaptation of Jian Yong's Demi God and Semi Devil, most chinese or Asian would have knew the story path, it's like the story of Arthur and Merlin... Without even any plot twist jumbled into a 30 minuted movie. The original normally spans 40-50 hours long with lots of plot twist.
And the protagonist fails to even decide whether he wants to be a kungfu practitioners or a wuxia fantasy inner strenght no hit everybody fly around
The female protagonist cant act, Donnie has a bit of charisma but lacking acting range.
Overall a convulated mess. I'd still pay to see it for the action but it's nothing more than a superhero movie.
He was written as strong but not all conquering strong.