foolsquill Reviews

The President's Man: A Line in the Sand (2002 TV Movie)

The President's Cheese

[4/10 · 2 January 2023]

Islamic terrorists have smuggled a nuclear device onto the soil of United States, and they threaten to detonate it unless their demands are met. So, The President's Man, Joshua McCord and his protege, Deke Slater, must defuse the situation. 'A Line in the Sand' is more action packed and fast paced than the first 'President's Man' movie. At the same time it is a more sillier, a more cheesy and more unbelievable. More ridiculous but also more suspenseful and more entertaining. Deke Slater's character is now taken over by Chuck Norris' go-star from 'Walker', Judson Mills. While in the first movie, Slater was arrogant, but still serious, the Mills turns Slater into arrogant goofball. Jennifer Tung's Que is more of a secondary character now, and Chuck Norris has even less screen time (and fight scenes). The real star is Judson Mills. He has enough screen presence to carry the movie, but his portrayal of Deke Slater was less sympathetic than Dylan Neal's version from the first movie. Eric Norris isn't near half as competent director as Michael Preece, who directed the first movie in the series. Although I have to admit, the stunt work in this one was also quite impressive. No wonder - Eric Norris mainly works as stunt coordinator. Although the story is quite consistent, the overall writing is lackluster.

Chuck Norris's movie have never been overly sophisticated, but 'A Line in the Sand' might fall into the category of 'so bad it's good'. If you are able to turn of the analyzing part of your brain, and if you can suspend your disbelief, then you might find yourself in entertaining B-TV-movie experience. But you will not miss anything if you will pass this one.

The President's Man (2000 TV Movie)

Mr. Super Special Secret Agent

[5/10 · 1 January 2023]

By the end of the 90s and 2000s the steam of the action heroes had started to run out (until Sylvester Stallone invigorated everyone's careers with the 'Expendables' franchise). Although Chuck Norris had a popular television series with 'Walker, Texas Ranger', his full length movies were also mostly television productions. 'The President's Man' is the best out of those. The movie is no way perfect. There are inconsistencies and plot holes, and the movie is bounded by the low budget and television production restraints. The story itself is quite interesting (there is a secret agent, who follows the President's direct order, but whose identity remains secret even for the President), but the screenplay follows the predictable path.

Chuck Norris stars as Joshua McCord: a typical stoic, a one-man-army type of hero. He wishes to retire and starts looking to his replacement. He finds a Delta Force sergeant Deke Slater (Dylan Neal), a soldier with an attitude who has been imprisoned for the insubordination. Slater is a guy who seems to follow his instincts (and heart) more than his brains, and McCord's task is to humble and prepare him for the upcoming missions. The main characters are nicely developed and with meaty enough backstories to care about them. Chuck Norris, Dylan Neal and Jennifer Tung form a cool trio of characters with great chemistry between them. Unfortunately villians are generic cardboard cut outs. Fight scenes and stunts are nice. In the finale the movie treats us with a proper stand-off like one proper martial arts movie should. The soundtrack is epic. It occasionally reminds the music from James Bond movies. There's nothing wrong with that - most of the super spy movies have scores that have similar compositions.

'The President's Man' is not very demanding, but sometimes it's just good to watch a simple action movie where good guys win with ease. A must see for any self respecting Chuck Norris fan. And you just have to respect that Chuck Norris was nearly 60 in this movie.

Sidekicks (1992)

Chuck Norris is Never Just a Sidekick

[5/10 · 1 January 2023]

Barry Gabrewski is a dork of his class. He is asthmatic and keeps daydreaming of being the sidekick of his hero, Chuck Norris. Barry's teacher, Noreen Chan's uncle, Mr. Lee (Mako), arrives into town and takes his mission to teach Karate to Barry.

When you cross 'Karate Kid' and 'Last Action Hero' then you'll get 'Sidekicks' - the Chuck Norris movie where Chuck Norris plays the sidekick. Although 'Sidekicks' lack the emotional punch of 'The Karate Kid' and raunchy witty humor as 'Last Action Hero', it is a movie with a heart. Upon its release the movie received mainly negative reviews from the critics. Although it debuted at No. 2 at the box-office, 'Sidekicks' is nearly forgotten for today besides Chuck Norris fans. It is an entertaining movie with a great message about becoming the best version of yourself while overcoming the obstacles and hardships (Even I, a guy in his 30s, felt inspired to pick up my martial-arts training again). 'Sidekicks' knows exactly that it is corny movie and never tries to be anything else but a tongue in cheek parody. Chuck Norris has never seemed someone who'll take his action star status overly seriously (unlike some others. *caugh* Steven Seagal *caugh*). The daydreaming sequences with Barry being the sidekick of Chuck are humorously cheesy action scenes which perfectly utilize slapstick and every known action movie cliché. Joe Piscopo is wonderfully hammy as unpleasant Karate instructor Kelly Stone. He also portrays the over the top villains in Barry's daydreaming scenes. Another great supporting character is gym teacher Horn, played by Richard Moll. He is another cartoonish caricature of authoritative teacher who first seems unnecessarily harsh toward Barry. Even bullish. Yet, when Barry starts to pick himself up and finally takes a stand against the school bully Randy (John Buchanan), Horn shows his growing respect. That shows that sometimes when someone is harsh toward the other necessarily doesn't mean they have bad intentions - they simply give out what some people like to call 'tough love'. The ambiguity of the final scene after the Karate tournament, where Barry speaks with Chuck Norris, gives the impression that Chuck is some mythological creature (tongue in cheek Chuck Norris joke before Chuck Norris jokes became a thing). It also seems to say that we shouldn't allow our dreams to hinder our everyday life, but we must allow our dreams to fuel our progress.

'Sidekicks' doesn't offer many laugh out loud moments, but is a nice, feel good movie that can entertain the whole family. To some people, 'Sidekicks' might seem a little flat, but this movie definitely has a heart (and Chuck Norris). Plus, movie's warm and positive message is nicely part of the story.

Logan's War: Bound by Honor (1998 TV Movie)

This War is Personal

[4/10 · 1 January 2023]

'Logan's War' is a made-for-television movie and it looks and feels like it. Produced by Chuck and Aaron Norris, and directed by Michael Preece who also directed 70 episodes of 'Walker'. Chuck himself is more of the side character in this one. The main star is Eddie Cibrian (an actor whom I had never heard of before) who stars as the titular character, Logan Fallon. It looks like 'Logan's War' was meant to be an introduction (or pilot) to a new TV series, which never realized. Although Chuck is a side character, he has plenty of screen time, and besides sharing wisdom with his young protegee Logan, he also kicks some serious ass. The fight scenes and the training montages are the strongest part of the movie. The story is a familiar revenge romp and doesn't offer any surprises. It takes a lot of suspense of disbelief to buy how easily the main character can infiltrate the organized crime family. Eddie Cibrian is no Al Pacino, and he chewed through the scenery (Brendon Ryan Barrett who played 10 years old Logan, was a much better actor). At least Cibrian had enough charisma and likability to carry the movie (maybe one of the purposes of that film was to make him the next big action star?). I have no information about how good Eddie is in martial arts in real life, but his fight scenes were good. He was agile and had good moves. Still, he's no Chuck Norris. The supporting cast included many well-known character actors, although I think, R. D. Call was miscast as Albert Talgorno. His performance was alright though. The screenplay lacked the proper tension that will make you sit on the edge of your chair (or couch). The tone of the movie was too light for such a dark subject matter (I know, it is a TV movie from the '90s, I know) almost like a family film. Well, in some sense it was a family film - Logan infiltrated into the 'crime family'. The score was alright, the generic action movie stuff, but the use of it in some scenes seemed awkward. For example - when Talgorno tells Logan how Sal Mercado (Jeff Kober) become a made man after he slaughtered the district attorney, his family and five cops, the lighthearted music over that scene is so unfitting. The directing and editing are competent. The fight scenes are clean - and that is the main reason we watch Chuck Norris movies.

I like the message the movie carries about doing the right thing, and about revenge. Although it is a revenge movie, and we as the viewers root for the hero, so he can successfully fulfill his vengeance, the movie tells us that revenge is not the best path to take, and it has its consequences. Overall 'Logan's War' is an alright made-for-TV action movie, that is mildly entertaining. It is not as rewatchable as Chuck's earlier movies from the '80s which are glorious macho cheese fests. Still, the action scenes here were competently directed, and the movie is worth watching just for the final standoff between Chuck Norris and Talgorno's Cadillas, which is ridiculous but awesome.