kjohn-77891 Reviews

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

Great acting and that's about it, lazy movie

[4/10 · 23 May 2024]

After watching this movie I came away wondering why the high reviews, I really did t get them.

Okay the acting by Phoenix was good, the others in it were credible in their acting but altogether the film missed out a lot which could have won this movie a load of awards.

Firstly the characters are very thinly pasted on our screens, even the main character is thinly painted.

The story of a very weak, in fact Taken did it much better.

This story has been done so many times in different movies and different aspects such as Taken, 8mm to name two movies that come to mind, which by the way if you haven't seen them, the characters in both movies are better fleshed out, the story is a lot more deeper as well.

This film was so thin that I laughed when I read it had a standing ovation at Cannes and it was up for awards.

This movie is more cartoon like than anything else I have seen.

I came away very disappointed with it overall.

The Devil's Work (2023)

A realistic review and rating.

[4/10 · 18 May 2024]

Now having watched this last night and then reading the reviews on here after watching the movie, I have to a few conclusions: 1) most of these ratings must be from people who have a finger in the pie of this movie.

2) the one shot camera work was the best thing of the film.

3) this movie could have been a whole lot better if it had a bit more dialogue.

4) even though as a viewer we don't need to have our hand held and taken through what the movie is about but sometimes having a bit more back story seems to help the film and flesh the characters out more.

5) a four star rating, no more than that is a struggle to give. In fact I would give the one shot camera work three stars and the movie itself one star.

6) to anyone reading this review, if you give this film a miss, don't worry your not missing much.

V/H/S/2 (2013)

One of the worst films I have ever seen.

[1/10 · 1 May 2024]

After watching and not enjoying the first one, I heard that this sequel was better so I decided to give it a watch.

Boy should I have listened to my own instincts, this was as bad if not worse than the first one.

How this movie has a high score, I don't know, people watching horror movies must be adult pleased.

For instance this movie has nudity or sex scenes, blood and guts but it doesn't mean it's any good and it's not.

I am no prude by the way and I have seen hundreds of found footage films.

Did I say this movie is utter trash and a waste of time? Well it is.

After watching this film, I can truthfully say I will not be watching the rest of them in the series.

Did I say this film is a waste of time?

Again let me just say this film was one of the worst I have seen for a long time, don't waste your time.

I Came By (2022)

Very good until.....

[5/10 · 30 April 2024]

Watched this last night after passing it by a couple of times and I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised at how good the actual movie is, especially coming straight to Netflix as we all know how bad their movies can be.

Or should I say, like my headline says.... Very good until, until the mum goes to the house onwards then it gets rushed and it almost spoils the film for the viewer.

I think if they had made this into a three or four part hourly series and went into depth a bit more with the characters then this would have been much higher rated.

But saying that overall it was a good surprise of a movies that kept me watching barring the little bits that spoilt the movie.

Definitely worth a watch if anyones time.

A thumbs up from me.

Monkey Man (2024)

Anything over a 5 or a a lie.

[4/10 · 21 April 2024]

Okay let's get the good bits out of the way.

Dev can and should be a future action star, he has the style and quality to pull it off.

And as a director he certainly has a lot of talent which fingers crossed for him, it works out well and he has a great career.

Now unfortunately for the bad news, this movie could and should have been so much better that I would love to ask Dev what the heck went wrong. Has he not watched action films in the last ten years plus.

The shaky cam went out when the ark was still floating around.

Has he not seen films like John Wick, the Jason Bourne movies?

In those films we get to see the fights from a for one of a better word long camera, not one stuck in your face.

And this was the main problem for me with this movie, as talented as Dev is you could not see half of the moves and for me and many others this in itself spoilt the movie on a whole.

Let's just put it this way, a very good attempt but better luck next time.

Nowhere (II) (2023)

Great first half, stupid second half

[3/10 · 20 April 2024]

First of all let me be blunt, f anyone scores this movie anything over five stars are easily pleased.

Secondly this movie could have been a really great thriller but the second half went stupid and really too far fetched for it to be okay.

The main actress did a good job in the acting almost the entire movie on her own.

But the script had her going from a helpless woman trying to survive to a combination of Lara Croft and the a team, come on yes I know you have to suspend some belief but this was way to much, way to much.

And don't get me started with the stupid Hollywood ending which was way over the top.

This character had more knowledge than a trained special forces expert.

If I was you watch it once and then leave it from your mind.

Heart of the Hunter (2024)

Don't waste your time

[2/10 · 5 April 2024]

Netflix have done it again, yes they have made another movie that's a stinker.

In truth I have lost count of how many Netflix films are produced by them and they end up being awful.

Let me tell you this, don't believe the reviews that are giving this movie over five stars because it's a lie.

The story is one that's been done a million times before and much better, the pacing of the movie is not good, slow at times and you find yourself checking the time, which is a bad sign.

The fight scenes, Netflix says this movie is like John Wick, it's not the fight scenes are very amateurish at best, the old you go I go fight scenes, we have move Don from those type of scenes years ago.

I wanted to like this and fell for the reps of false advertising by Netflix, I won't fall it again.

Road House (2024)

Why the cgi? This alone spoilt the movie.

[5/10 · 27 March 2024]

This one is hard to score. It many good moments and many bad.

For instance the first fight of the movie, a very slow low kick which a newbie to any martial arts school would have thrown better and then Doug Liman had the cheek to add cgi when the guy punched his opponent, why?

So the film gets going and it's about a four out of ten stars at this point.

Then we get Conor McGregor coming into the movie, way over the top acting, I don't know if he planned his character this way or not but let's give him. The benefit of the doubt and say yes he planned his character that way, now the film is still a four out of ten stars.

There is a scene in which we get Jake walking alone at night, a vehicle tries to run him over, this scene is sped up and the use of cgi, once again I am asking myself why? Three out of ten at this part.

I am asking myself why Doug Liman is using cgi in this movie, there is no call for it, he needs to hang his head in shame.

Then let's go over the final fight. It wears good, in fact the highlight of the movie for me. At this point I will give my final score but first.... Most of the actors in this movie are way over the top, the dialogue is embarrassing to say the least, the supporting actors ( I include men and women in this ) are not used enough.

That said I still feel as if Jake was in a supporting role and this movie was just a vehicle for Conor McGregor to gain screen time to help his acting career.

Once last thing though... Doug Liman hang your head in shame, this movie does not need cgi.

Five out of ten and that's a struggle.

The Other Side of the Door (2016)

Viewers miss the most important aspect of a movie, the ending.

[5/10 · 14 March 2024]

What we have here is a very average horror movie that viewers would have seen time and time again but what I found with this movie that sets it apart from other ones that are very similar to it is that this film has an awesome ending.

Do not read anything to do with this film and go into it not knowing go anything about it and you will be surprised by the ending.

I must admit here that I have seen much better films like Eden Lake but with that movie the ending was dreadful and a total cop out for the viewers watching it.

So yes there are much better movies out there to watch but most have dreadful endings.

Don't listen to the reviews give it a watch, you might be surprised.

Damsel (2024)

Same ks acting cliche from Brown

[4/10 · 13 March 2024]

Well I must say that when all the people on Facebook saying that this was the new movie to watch, then I thought I must watch this but then after watching this movie I realised that most people on Facebook just agree with others for likes but that is by and by.

Now onto the movie, oh boy where do I begin, we'll let me just say if you have watch any of Millie Bobby Brown's other movies then you will know what kind of acting your going to get, the same as all of her movies.

I must be the only one who is not impressed by her acting ability, it's the same astonished look in everything she does.

In truth a very disappointing film but then Brown's acting hasn't got any better with age. Give it a miss.

Clock (2023)

Went pointless before the end

[4/10 · 8 March 2024]

I am at struggle here on what to give this movie as far as a rating goes.

On one hand I enjoyed it even though I thought the movie had run out of steam way before the ending of the movie appeared.

On the other hand after this film finished I actually thought that it was a it boring and pointless, so which way do I go.

Now for others that have not watched this film, if you want a horror film don't bother go and watch something else.

If you want a movie with more drama than thriller then by all means watch this movie.

There is one bit right at the end. When she jumps and lands on rocks, there's not a scratch on her, that's how bad the film gets.

Overall not much horror, in fact I would not class it as a horror movie.

I will give it a four star rating, even though I was stuck at three stars for a bit.

Grimcutty (2022)

An okay movie but wanted more horror

[4/10 · 8 March 2024]

Just finished watching this movie and came away from it thinking it was okay but I wanted more from a movie like this.

I wanted more horror, yes we get to see the grimcutty character but it wasn't scary, I think if they had thought this movie out more then it could have been a much better movie.

I wanted more form the characters, w barely get to see the other characters in the movie, the film was more focused on the main family not the people around them. To make a good story in a movie that sticks in your mind you need to have three dimensional characters and this film didn't have any, in fact we barely saw anyone else in the movie.

Such a waste of talent and script, I hope that next time the film director takes note from previews and gives us a much better movie.

This could have been so great.

The Old Man (2022– )

No, no, no.

[5/10 · 21 February 2024]

Okay you may think why my heading is what it says and yet I have given this series five stars.

The main problem is that I have read the book and compared to that the series is awful.

They have changed to much from the book for the series to be really good.

I like the main stars such as Bridges and Lithgow, so you know with them two in it the acting is going to be solid.

Even though I think that Bridges is a bit to old for this part, in the book the main character is in his sixties not seventies.

The episodes tend to drag as well, especially the latter ones.

Also there is way to much of the past filmed in the series which doesn't give off any tension unlike the book.

It's a shame really, I was holding out very high hopes for this after reading the book.

Will I watch season two if it ever comes out, yes I suppose I will but we will see.

No One Will Save You (2023)

Another movie that's not worth the hype.

[4/10 · 21 February 2024]

Here we go again, this was one of those films that had been hyped up to the max and when you have finished watching it you come away thinking okay was that it.

This movie was also played out like a melodrama more than a horror movie, not one part was scary.

Yea the main actress was great in it and the story was interesting but that was it, the problem was how do you keep your audience interested while having almost no dialogue and how to keep the audience watching while the movie goes over the same scene over and over again.

Like I say the movie was interesting and that was it, as for being a great movie, it was not.

Stephen King rated this very highly, was he high in his own ego at the time? We will never know.

I thought the end scene was a missed opportunity for the director. Which would have had the audience wanting more but to u came away thinking I am glad that's over.

Well I am glad that I have seen the film, would I recommend it, no I wouldn't.

The Flower Tapes (2020)

Well worth a watch.

[5/10 · 19 February 2024]

Saw this one last night and was pleasantly surprised at how good it actually was.'yes of course there were scenes in which you rolled your eyes at and at times the acting dipped a bit.

But I must admit that I have watched loads of found footage films that had a higher budget and yet though the acting was bad and nothing happened in the movie.

Now onto THIS movie, things did happen, it kept you wanting to keep watching to find out what was going on.

One scene that had me rolling my eyes, was when the main character is drunk and sleeping, he gets one of his feet smashed up and doesn't wake up, come on, in real life they would have woken up.

Also we all hoped that Sarah would have given us a glimpse of what she had under the dress, never mind lol.

A good overall movie, you can tell it was made during covid but that didn't deter from the movie itself.

Do yourself a favour and give this one a watch.

The Bridge Curse: Ritual (2023)

Runnier by the special effects.

[4/10 · 18 February 2024]

After viewing the original I was shocked to see that this was touted as a remake and not a sequel and after enjoying the original I thought I would sit down and watch this remake.

So last night I settled in and watched.

Boy do I wish I didn't.

Firstly it barely had anything to do with the bridge from the original one, so why the same title?

The first 29 minutes were good and I was enjoying it but when they went to the library and did the four corners game, the film ruined itself. There were way to many special effects that ruined the tension of the movie.

If they had kept to the bare minimum of effects and kept the tension up then this would have been a really good film but no they went with substance over style and ruined the whole thing.

After that the film got worse and worse.

Okay the ending was good and screamed out for a sequel, if they do I hope that they go the way if the original and not the remake.

Overall very disappointing movie, stick to the original.

Level 16 (2018)

A good film but runs out of steam before the end.

[4/10 · 15 February 2024]

I have just finished watching this movie and came away with the fact that even though I enjoyed it there were one or two things that stopped me giving it a higher rating.

I have given this movie a four star rating.

Now the acting was good and it maintained it throughout the movie.

The story was okay, it could have been better.

Now my only gripe really was I felt the movie ran out of steam before the ending runtime.

I think the main reason for that was because nothing happened in the movie and I mean nothing happened.

It was practically talking all the way through it and nothing else. So I would say this is a very slow burn movie but well acted and worth a watch but I struggled to keep entertained until the credits.

Nick (2016)

A slow burn movie ruined by over acting

[10/10 · 14 February 2024]

Saw this one earlier and came away from it in two minds about the movie.

Firstly I don't mind a slow burn thriller, if that is what you can call this movie.

Secondly o found this whole movie was ruined by the guy that played the step brother, he was awful, I am sure the actors name is Cooper Carfar, I hope I spelt it right.

Stop giving this boy movie roles, he was awful. He over acted in huge clumps, in fact every scene he was in, he ruined it.

So into the film itself, to slow and I mean slow for it to be gripping.

The way it was filmed, yes I know because of budget restrains but no it wasn't very good.

So really a film that is worth a watch but ruined by over acting. Give this one a miss.

The Marine 6: Close Quarters (2018)

Awful just awful

[2/10 · 9 February 2024]

I have seen all of the previous Marine films and have enjoyed them, yes the acting needs work but the budget seemed to have been okay and this also goes for the action sequences.

Now I don't know what happened with this movie, maybe the WWE did t want to give anymore money to these movies as they were not the cash cows they thought they could and would be.

Here we get awful acting especially from Martyn Ford, stop giving this idiot movies to star in. He ruined and I mean ruined the Undisputed movie he was in, that one was the worst out of the whole series and here he is awful in every scene he is in.

Yeah if you think his acting is bad well th same goes for Michaels as well.

The whole movie stinks of cheapness and it shows from the awful acting and dialogue to the action scenes.

Give this one a wide berth and watch one of the previous ones.

The Remains (I) (2016)

A heavily cliched movie

[4/10 · 8 February 2024]

Now I am giving this movie a four star rating where it should maybe be a three because I watched it all and didn't turn the movie off.

Like my heading says, this movie had every cliche from a horror movie thrown into this from the rebellious teenage daughter who earlier on in the film looked like she was in her thirties, either they changed the actress or gave her more or less make up.

Then we had the not so scary scenes, I think that was the main problem, the scary scenes were not scary.

I thought the start, in which we were back in the 1890's was very good apart from the bad dubbing on some of the actors.

Also the ending was pretty good as well.

This film is worth a watch and that's it, easily forgettable.

Chupacabra Territory (2016)

Don't waste your time.

[2/10 · 19 January 2024]

Just finished watching this on prime without reading reviews about it and not knowing anything about the film.

It was so bad, I barely finished it, in fact I had to fast forward some of the movie because it was that bad.

The acting was bad but not horrible.

The dialogue was awful, who in their right mind had the actors who are in their twenties acting like they were sixteen or younger.

The script writer should never attempt another movie script again and the director should take lessons.

Then we had the so called sex scenes why? I am not prude in any means or form but in this movie they had women who are to old to know better, flashing their breasts at the screen and going topless for no reason at all, now I do t mind that but in this film it did t make sense.

After about twenty thirty minutes the film becomes such a blur of activity you don't have a clue what the heck is going on.

There is so much shouting and running about you get lost as to what is goi g on but then about ten minutes later you don't really care.

Don't bother with this film it could put you off found footage movies for good.

Mercy Falls (2023)

Oh dear, what happened?

[4/10 · 19 January 2024]

The movie starts off with a sniff of a forest survival horror movie which there are quite a few out there these days.

They can go well and still be cheaply done but this one was good until you see the war scenes which looked so cheap and nasty that it looked as if they were taken from another movie and put into this one.

Then you get the 'yes let's have a stranger hiking with us and we know nothing about her', okay why do script writers treat their audience as if they are thick?

This would never happen in real life, come on stop treating your audience like they are thick.

Other than that the movie had some good scenes in it and the acting wasn't bad.

I am giving it a four and that was a struggle.

Detective Forst (2024– )

A badly cliched series that gets boring quickly.

[4/10 · 13 January 2024]

I liked the look on this one so I decided to watch it and give it a go.

What I got after the series had ended was a slow burner which is fine if the story goes well, but this one wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be so each episode went awfully slow.

Next was the story line, Forst who is the main character was bedding every woman that looked at him, really were all those women that desperate to sleep with an ordinary looking guy?

This side of the story had me rolling my eyes and asking myself really, which made me laugh out loud.

Then there were the awful, tiresome sex scenes just to show how much of a stud the hero was.

When it came to conclusion, I knew who the main bad guy was halfway through the series.

If Netflix have another one of these Forst series, I will not be watching it.

Do yourself a favour and give this a miss.

Umma (2022)

A bit to rushed for the film to be effective

[4/10 · 13 January 2024]

Just finished watching this one and I came away thinking that maybe if the film ran for another twenty minutes then maybe it would have been a more of an effective movie.

What I got from it was the whole movie felt rushed and the so called horror scenes were not that tense or frightening.

The acting was good, I must give this movie that.

The story was an interesting one but once again, eastern films when combined with American always fail and they seem to lose all the impact that a good horror movie should have.

I like Korean horror movies and that is why I chose to sit down and give this one a watch.

I can't recommend this film, I came away very disappointed with it.

No Way Out (II) (2020)

This is what happens when a film director doesn't know what style of movie to make.

[3/10 · 6 January 2024]

What do you get when a director gets given a script and doesn't know whether he wants to make a found footage film or a normal directed movie, well this my friends is the answer.

This movie could have been made either way, a normal style movie in which a serial killer style killer stalks these individuals through a forest.

Or a found footage style in which said killer is seeking people through the forest.

Now both movie could have been much better than what we have to sit down and watch.

Here we get a mixed up movie which shows us that the director didn't have a clue.

The sound quality was dismal.

The stupid over music when the actors start to talk, stop with that it ruins the movie.

The story could have been fleshed out a lot better and we could have had a much better story.

This film was a mess and the whole movie shows the director didn't know what they wanted to do, if you still want to watch this, then do so but if you miss it don't panic your not missing much.