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Reviews
Battleship (2012)
I liked the movie
Something to note here.. you'll notice a lot of the negative reviews use Hollywood-speak just as the films that are spammed by professional uprating companies do. They even use the same words and phrases.
Having said that. The actors in the movie are very likable. The acting is well done. Rihanna Really is a mid level character who Really takes over the screen when she is on it. The plot has a few small holes but nothing you can't overlook. This is a cheesy over the top hero movie. Think Independence Day. The romance part works though the last part is a Huge cliché and the movie could have done without it. And of course.. you know the good guys are going to win.
If you're looking for subtitled film noir to over analise with your other friends who have no life.. this isn't for you. If you want some fun and some laughs, some action and a movie where literally everyone is a hero.. this is it.
Dark Shadows (2012)
No synopsis here
Just a simple to the point review. I was never a fan of Dark Shadows so perhaps if you were.. you should take this with a grain of salt.
This movie looks like a dark comedy. It sometimes tries to be. Other times it tries to be a bit of a suspense horror movie. It never really works.
The actors weren't bad. Johnny Depp was Johnny Depp... brilliant as usual. I thought i would dislike some of the rest of the cast as they seemed to be set up to play stereotypes.. none of them did and the entire cast was Excellent. The scenery was great and somehow they managed so make a dark foreboding mansion set in a bright sunny town... totally believable. In fact everything about the movie was believable.. and there are some pretty insane things in this movie.
But it just didn't click. Probably the script. Maybe the directing. Maybe the movie just couldn't decide what it wanted to be.. horror, comedy, romance, tragedy... Its like they were trying to make a superepic but just didn't have what it took. The movie just doesn't work. It wont bore you to tears. You'll get a few chuckles and have a few very mild emotions. But you wont remember the movie a month from now.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: 911 (2005)
Wow
This is the best Episode of SVU I've ever seen and probably the best TV episode I've ever seen. Mariska Hargitay is just stunningly good. I've just watched the episode for the third time and Every single time i cannot take my eyes off the screen despite knowing the ending and every twist and turn. I wanted to physically hurt every one of the cops other than Bensen for being so willing to abandon a child out of laziness and apathy. Mariska's acting was quite simply brilliant, the writing was incredible and if you missed this you missed the best thing on TV in the last decade. This episode takes you from terror to rage to fear to terror to anger to annoyance to terror to rage again and back a thousand times. That things like this probably actually happen and that some pd's probably aren't as conscientious as Mariska's fictional cop will haunt you.
IRT: Deadliest Roads (2010)
Makes me miss trucking
The cast from Ice Road truckers minus a few of the more annoying drive the worlds most dangerous roads. This series actually makes me miss trucking. The dangerous parts were actually the most fun parts. Unlike Ice road truckers in which the drivers in reality worked short (comparative to the average hard driving trucker) hours in situations that were made to look much more dangerous than they are. In this series you get the real thing with some very professional drivers. Note in the original show only Lisa and 2 other drivers were what any serious trucker would consider professional, and Hugh the least.
The drivers take on roads that crumble as they drive. In trucks that wouldn't be allowed on the roads in the US or Western Europe. If you liked ice road truckers but want to see the real thing with actual professional drivers this is it.
The Walking Dead (2010)
Lets hope it gets better
First and foremost you should ignore the fans of the comic book unless you are one. They are just happy (and justifiably) to see their favorite series come to life.
I was hoping for something epic. This series has great actors. From top to bottom, unlike most series these days the actors were apparently hired for their talent and it shows. The writing of the dialogue is good and some of the direction choices (scenes) were excellent. But it just doesn't gel. To be fair this is the first episode. A setup episode and in time this series could be epic. Right now it just isn't and the reasons are predictable.
In Hollywood the rentahack screenwriters only really know one thing. Soap opera writing. Thats why scifi on television usually fails. Why the screen is overrun with spinoffs of the few good series that make it (L&O etc). Because hack writers truly believe every show is about the emotional needs of the characters. Oh and usually a lil bit of psychic powers. Thats where this did/can fail and hard. Instead of focusing on how hard it is to survive. How lonely and terrified the characters are. How insane it would drive some. What they might actually do in a real situation this the entire series seems set up to explore the emotions and connections of the people involved with the zombies and a destroyed world just trifling background props. The only character to actually pull off an emotional attachment is Lennie James, a brilliant actor. And sadly apparently not a series mainstay. You just don't care about the leads family or feelings. You don't care about his partners family or feelings. You just don't connect to the actors. You have that "i know theyll be OK because the writers love them and they have a contract" feeling.
There is some great scenery and you could tell the director was trying to fit a huge vision into very little time. The actors all did stunning things with what little script they were given. But it feels like this will be another brilliant concept failed by hack writers. Lets hope im wrong. Or that Hollywood finally learns something.
RED (2010)
See this movie!
The promos promise you a movie with some of your favorite stars. Great actors and actresses from top to bottom. They hint at comedy. They hint at action. They hint at intrigue. If you are like me you expected this to be a mildly funny bruce willis flick with some great actors. An A grade B-movie.
Surprise. This is already one of my favorite movies of all time. It is for one, Hilarious. You will be surprised, pleasantly, a lot. I found myself laughing out loud and thats rare even in a comedy. The action is good. And the acting. Every single actor down to the faceless extras in this movie are perfect. This movie has it all . Plot. Humor. Action. Drama. Intrigue. Even a love story. But who hasn't fallen in love with Mary Louise Parker.
Don't miss this movie. You'll wish you hadnt.
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
This is NOT a great horror movie *SOME spoilers*
With the seemingly universal acclaim i thought id see a movie that was .. you know.. scary. Those are rare and we're usually left with slasher flicks. But then i saw Sam Raimi was involved so i expected at least a little of the humor of the Evil Dead movies.
There's nothing here. I suppose if you believe in voodoo, gypsie curses, ghosts, seances and mediums it could be scary. I suppose if you didn't see the assistant messing up the goat slaugher a mile away it could be.. well no. I suppose if you didn't see the cheap contrivance of the mixed up envelopes.. nope still not scary. I suppose if you could overlook the incredibly inept acting of the lead actress and if you actually cared about her character rather than believing her a self involved brat you could care. But this movie has nothing.
A dead , immobile body is supposed to terrify us.. and beat up the lead character. An 80yo woman with one good eye is supposed to scare and beat senseless a mid 20's woman. Doilies. In this movie "posessed doilies" are seriously supposed to be scary.
There's just nothing here folks. The production values are OK. The acting, with the exception of the lead actress, is OK. Its just neither scary or entertaining. You'll spend the whole film thinking "ok ill bet it gets scary soon". But it wont.
The Bucket List (2007)
You don't need to know the plot
You don't need a fancy overly wordy review. You just need to go see this movie. If you don't you will have missed out on one of the true works of beauty in this lifetime.
The Bucket list is the finest work either Jack Nickolson or Morgan Freeman have ever done, and that says volumes. Its a movie that made a 40something southern truck driver laugh while his heart broke and cry while his heart filled with joy.
Two things happen to those who see this movie
They want to talk to someone they never thought they would They vow to do something they never thought they could
Go see this movie