soutrik-93 Reviews

Jodhaa Akbar (2008)

Lack of focus, horrible battle scenes, and a 3 hour running time plague this historical film

[4/10 · 18 February 2008]

Let me lay out this review chronologically. This movie has about 3 minutes of opening credits, all on a black screen. My guess is that this was because after 3 hours of sitting in the theater, no one would spend a second watching the end credits. Next there is a battle scene. These scenes are very poorly choreographed. Half the time the soldiers don't know what they're doing, and they stumble around the battlefield clanking swords at random times. The sound editing here is no better than a third-rate B movie. The sound of shields clanking plays over a an elephants trumpet, and the trumpet plays over the battle. Speaking of the elephants, they were all baby Asian elephants with no tusks. It looks slightly strange to see a soldier who is taller than his elephant.

The movie is a lesson in "how many sub-plots can we pack in?" and this results in a 3+ hour running time, that will leave you either asleep or unconscious by the end. Most of the plots do not contribute to the main theme at all, and are resolved by the first half of the movie. Then, a new set of minor plots take over. You could easily cut 1 and a half hours from this movie and not miss a thing.

Because of all these glaring issues, I could not even focus on the love story in the movie. All in all, this is an exercise in boredom and tediousness, and I do not recommend it.

Cloverfield (2008)

Not quite a movie, more of a ride. An awesome, hugely immersive ride. But be sure to watch it in theaters, it won't be the same on DVD.

[9/10 · 19 January 2008]

Cloverfield is a lot like a simulator ride with elements of a movie. It still is one of the scariest experiences in a theater I ever had.

The whole movie is shot like a homemade camcorder movie, and this is implemented perfectly. This isn't like the Bourne movies, where the camera loses it just when the action is getting good. The filming is much more realistic, and the cameraman's hand shakes a lot more, but it steadies itself when looking at important things, like the monster. The camera-work is so realistic it will put you right in the middle of all the action. This is probably the scariest part of the movie, because you think you're there. Way more immersive than any simulator ride I've ever been on. Never leaving the camera's point of view makes it an experience not unlike Half-Life.

The movie takes a while to get off, and spends some time introducing you to the characters. This is time well spent, as the backstory plays a big part later on. Also, you'll come to like the characters as you try to survive the ordeal together. The action starts at the perfect time, and rarely lets up after that. The dialogue is very believable (or believable enough, considering the situation), and never pulls you out of the immersion.

Overall, Cloverfield is definitely a movie I would recommend for anyone who wants to get their heart pounding for 80 minutes non-stop. I strongly urge you to watch it in theaters as it is an important part of the experience. The sound makes the theater rumble as debris hits the ground. The 50 foot screen makes you feel like you're seeing it with your own eyes. If you can see it in IMAX, even better. But don't wait for it to come out on DVD, because no matter how big your TV, it won't be the same.

Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

The Funniest Thing Rowan Atkinson Has Ever Done

[9/10 · 27 August 2007]

What I absolutely don't understand is what part of this movie people weren't satisfied with. If you aren't a Bean fan, then you obviously shouldn't watch this movie. With Mr. Bean, you either love him or you hate him, there is no middle ground, so you should know whether or not this movie will be worth your cash and your time. Like some people before me have stated, people who don't like this movie should check out "The Playback" by Carson Clay.

Unlike the last Bean movie, there is no moral yarn embedded in this story, just pure, unadulterated Mr. Bean comedy. This includes disasters that he unwittingly causes, and ones that he causes deliberately. Best of all, all the humor in this movie is new: you have not seen it on the show.

Basically, watching this movie is like watching a one and a half hour episode of the show, only better. Better because the humor is high budget. Better because there are recurring gags in the film, such as him saying "gracias" while thinking that he's speaking French. But most of all, better because this time there is also a plot. You find yourself cheering on Mr. Bean. For the first time, we can really connect with Atkinson's character. So did this movie pass my requirements of becoming "great"? Definitely, it passed with flying colors.