xqkqc Reviews

Sorority Row (2009)

I thought it was fun. Ridiculous. Over the top. Topless.

[7/10 · 31 March 2024]

This is a popcorn slasher for sure. Worthy of adding to the collection of enthusiasts but I would never seriously call this "good" to a regular person.

It came out in 2009 but it has a real early 2000s vibe, which I like. Very reminiscent of Freddy vs Jason or Final Destination but the dialogue is perhaps even more ridiculous. The twists are hilarious mostly because they're not really twists just a multitude of silly choices that had me confused in the end but it was fine because the music was dope, the effects and dialogue were campy, and boobs, if you're into that.

I would recommend to those who just want entertainment and silly violence. It's sort of a highly stylized episode of Jerry Springer or Degrassi.

In a Glass Cage (1986)

Ultra disturbing. Good as a film. Can't recommend to anyone, though.

[6/10 · 27 March 2024]

First, I'll just mention that this movie was good as a movie. The acting and cinematography were quite good. That said, I'm shocked that such a film was allowed to exist back when it was released. I would be shocked to see this released even today. The graphic depictions of child sexual abuse and torture is just nauseating. It cannot be overstated how graphic this film is. It leaves almost nothing to the imagination which already is too much to bear. Again, this completely and entirely revolves around children.

I could have perhaps handled this story as a book but on film, it's crossed a boundary for me. Which I didn't actually think existed until now. It feels illegal.

I just can't recommend watching this. The film's message was crystal clear but instead of letting you find it for yourself, it shoves it down your throat and tamps it down further with a broom handle.

While I can recognize some of this film's merits, I won't ever watch it again and I would feel like a legitimately sick individual if I were to recommend it to anyone. This film makes Martyrs look like The Sound of Music.

Eden Lake (2008)

This is pure, distilled TERROR. Don't go off reviews for this one. Take a risk.

[10/10 · 26 March 2024]

For me, this might be one of the top 10 most horrific films I've ever seen. Mostly because it feels incredibly real. It's masterfully bleak but also follows a very textbook sort of pacing that worked to remind me that it's a movie, which I was oddly glad for. The ending confirms how genius this whole mirage is.

Plot is pretty simple: young couple on holiday terrorized by kids/teens. The kids become increasingly malicious, being driven by herd mentality. Young couple tries to escape. A time before smartphones.

What really messed with me is how predictable the film is. Believe me, none of this *should* be predictable. But it is. The behavior portrayed is so aberrant and extreme but at the same time I feel like I could name a dozen kids from middle/high school who could've ended up just like this. I bet many of us could name at least one kid they've come across in life who could've been like this. I feel if I shared the events of this film with a colleague under the impression that it was some sick true crime event, they would probably say "that's crazy" and forget it the moment you stop talking because so many of us are so desensitized. But imagine it happening to YOU. You hear it happen to others all the time but many of us can't truly grasp that this could happen to any of us FOR REAL. Eden Lake sort of reminds you of this fact quite bluntly. This movie could be your reality next time you go on vacation or to the park, the river, etc. That is why I believe this is top-notch horror. It's so damn believable.

As a movie, I think the acting was fantastic, the characters were strategically cast, the pacing was exactly what I wanted (yet not what I expected), the sound and music is very intentional, and I was never bored or confused. This is not a slow burn. This gets to business in no time with little character development yet I am quite in favor of the protagonists right away simply due to my vehement disgust for the antagonists. And because the couple does everything I would probably do, it's logical, which adds to the horror. It's really an immaculate movie, in my opinion.

I have to call out Jack O'Connell's performance. He really takes his character over the edge. It's quite intense and one scene in particular made me audibly gasp. I've seen a fair bit of shock horror and extreme films but this really brought something to the table despite having so little blood/gore. It really relies on straight TERROR and it succeeds.

Reading reviews had me thinking this would be a tough watch as a violent and gory film. It really isn't, in my opinion. But don't let me downplay it, this is NOT for kids. I can't really explain why, but I don't think any child or young teen should see this. It feels like it should be NC-17 despite no nudity or severe gore. The film is just THAT messed up. I would never watch it again alone but I would watch it many times just to see other people react to it for the first time. I am so impressed with this movie I had to write a review.

Martyrs (2008)

Wow, what a disappointment. This film does not live up to its reputation.

[5/10 · 8 March 2024]

I have put off watching this film for years after always hearing it touted as this ultra disturbing and violent flick that is gruesome but tasteful. I love extreme films and I give a lot of grace where it's due, but this film took itself too seriously and it just missed the mark entirely.

I found it to be quite boring. Not in a slow, developmental way. In fact, there's no character development or backstory at all. The whole movie is based on this woman's backstory driving the main story but they tell us so little (too little) that I don't care about her or anyone else. You're supposed to "relive" her backstory throughout the film but it just doesn't land. If she went through those things, she'd have scars or something. The opening scene is her escaping as a child and she has like two cuts and a bruise.

Also, the effects makeup is so bad. It's like early 70s/80s horror makeup. Reminded me of the original Nightmare on Elm Street. All of the "extreme" violence just looks tacky and cheap. Nothing wrong with that but for what this film is selling, no way.

I would call this an easy skip. It's not very shocking. It's not very good. It had one good plot point: the meaning behind the title Martyrs. That idea seemed sort of fresh but still, not by much. Saw already kind of did it. This film was more like Hostel with a mustache. But more tame. I much preferred Incident in a Ghostland by Laugier over Martyrs.

This just wasn't very disturbing. Movies I found more disturbing: High Tension, Battle Royale, Suicide Club, Hostel, Saw, Inside, Tusk, Goodnight Mommy, Excision, Saint Maud, The Skin I Live In, Maniac, Speak No Evil, Antichrist, etc. Just my 2c.

Audition (1999)

Slow. Boring. Not gory. Not that disturbing.

[6/10 · 6 February 2024]

This film was a bit of a letdown. There's very little character development. I didn't care what happened to anyone.

It also takes 1.5 hours for anything to happen at all! The final 20 minutes are decent-ish but still, not much to write home about. I gave this 6 stars because the torture method was something I haven't seen much before. It's really not as disturbing as people will have you believe.

I would consider this a hard skip. It's not even horror, more like a drama, in my opinion. If you're after more of a Misery type vibe, you might be into this. But even that was more gnarly than what we see here.

Alive (I) (2018)

I am VERY on the fence with this one.

[5/10 · 4 February 2024]

What I did like was the props and atmosphere. The script was not (too) terrible. And the sound/music was quite good.

I will say, I did not care for the acting here. It was pretty amateur and overall the movie came off quite silly and campy. I still enjoyed it and genuinely laughed several times, but I get the feeling they weren't going for that.

Also, this feels like a really boring story the entire time. A story you've seen countless times. The final five minutes attempt a twist, which had some potential, but missed a couple big answers and it's almost like they came up with it last second like when the teacher is going around picking up homework. At least give a LITTLE character development or foreshadowing. I didn't care about the main characters at all. They were random and just... I felt nothing for them. At all.

It would have been better if the film just said nothing and left it at that. No twist. Then I wouldn't expect to have empathized with the characters. Instead, in the end, it came off half-assed.

I don't think I'd recommend this film to a general audience. I'd probably not even recommend it to a horror buff. It could be worth a single watch but if you skip it, you're not missing out on much.

Tusk (I) (2014)

I feel violated but I also can't stop laughing. Sickeningly hilarious.

[8/10 · 24 January 2024]

I can't believe I missed this one over the years. This has to be the most bizarre movie I've ever seen. Hands down. Even for A24 standards. The film had me laughing nonstop while also just horribly disturbed and shocked. The story was genuinely enjoyable.

99% of people probably couldn't handle something like this. I would only watch this movie with people who can sit through the most grotesque films there are. Like Hostel, The Skin I Live In, etc. It's another ballgame for sure. But my god is there entertainment value.

And no one can deny that it evokes a very strong emotional reaction from the audience, good or bad. It's hard to be shocking anymore but wow... hats off to the team behind this one.

Into the Labyrinth (2019)

This is truly a terrible film. Awful acting. Awful script. It's just so bad.

[3/10 · 19 January 2024]

This is not a good film at all. I really can't believe I sat through this hot garbage. There was one good actor and he held the whole film on his back and then you have the main girl who is embarrassingly bad. I mean it's like some of the worst acting I've ever seen. It's absolutely abominable. You can't even say she's on drugs and make it work. Dustin Hoffman was awful as well but to be fair, he had diddly squat to work with here.

Then you have the story which sounds interesting for a moment but then it goes in all these different directions (not in a clever or entertaining way) and lands nowhere at all. There's no flow to anything, the language and subtitle choices felt like two scripts mashed together, and the makeup decisions were just bizarre and tacky.

This film had nothing going for it at all. I can put up with a lot and can appreciate when a film just isn't for me. This, however, isn't for anyone. It should never have been made. Do not waste 130 minutes on this. I beg. This film is a game.

Michael Jackson: Chase the Truth (2019)

Why didn't any of his actual family come to defend him?

[1/10 · 15 January 2024]

This documentary was absurd. Literally every single sentence spoken is another cutscene. None of it is natural interaction. None of it is the same paragraph. And worse, they didn't get ANY real friends or family to provide insight into who MJ was. Not one real person you could trust to have known him.

You have a guy who admits to becoming a fan after MJ died, admitting to writing a book about him just because there was a "hole in the market". This guy keeps saying to not trust people who want money yet that's the entire reason he's involved in any capacity here, whatsoever. So that's funny.

You have a "lifelong friend" whose first interaction with MJ he expected him to "land in a spaceship", so obviously they became friends AFTER MJ was an ultra superstar. That's not a lifelong friend.

You have a goddaughter who claims she never even knew his music, he's just "my dad's best friend". So she's got no insight at all.

And then possibly the most credible person: MJs bodyguard. This guy openly says yes, MJ would be in the "panic room" for hours. Then says "How could any abuse happen when I'm always there and everyone else is always right there?" Well you literally just said there are hours when you're not with him so... you aren't credible. Are we really supposed to believe MJ had a bodyguard beside him 24/7 at his own private Neverland residence that's insanely massive? I mean c'mon dude.

People just have put MJ on a pedestal in their own personal lives for so long, they can't bear to possibly have to rewrite their own thinking towards him. Then people say "he was acquitted" and I'm not denying that, but ask those same people if they think our justice system succeeds at finding the truth in 100% of cases and see what they think then.

I'm not claiming to know the truth, but to rely so heavily on "the alleged victims perjured themselves in court" when they were little children is really a weak argument. We also don't have proof of the train station discrepancy they rely on to disprove the Leaving Neverland allegations. We get shown a photo of some supposed blueprints (they're entirely digital) that are stamped with a date that supports their argument, and a photo where there is no train station in Neverland and the film is just telling us when it was taken, and they're SURE, the guy has a friend in the newspaper. This isn't proof, it's literally nothing at all. Just some random picture.

Whether honest or not, the people in Leaving Neverland do give LONG answers in single takes with multiple instances of tears in a SINGLE take. That's pretty impressive for a bunch of "liars" who aren't even professional actors. They SHOULD be actors in that case.

This rebuttal documentary is hot garbage, completely embarrassing, and is just another echo chamber for lifelong MJ fans to not have to possibly see their idol as anything less than a saint. He's not God, he's just a person. And people do horrible things. And fool the masses. Literally ALL THE TIME. It's frankly frightening that a person could think this film says enough to vindicate MJ.

If they actually got a real family member or his children on camera, maybe you'd have something here. But nope... we don't see any credible people speak, just whatever random schmuck from his life that they could find to parrot back the same tired arguments people have always made. It's lazy and embarrassing.

The Pyramid (2014)

People expect way too much, this movie was fun and enjoyable throughout.

[7/10 · 9 January 2024]

I feel compelled to balance out all of the low ratings for a rating based upon realistic expectations. Yes, the acting was a bit lame at times but nothing too egregious and honestly, this film was genuinely scary. It had plenty of quality jump scares (more than most scary movies) and almost all of them catch you off guard in really precise moments. I think that's what made this so fun for me.

The sets and props were incredible, probably my favorite aspect. The cgi was mostly meh but the violent scenes were pretty brutal and quite impressive. The ending was a bit corny and could have ended like two scenes earlier but really, don't expect the world and you will probably enjoy this like I did. I feel like the film spent money in the areas that mattered most and I appreciate what the finished product was.

Oh and if you like found footage films, this will completely disappoint you in that regard.

I would absolutely watch this again and if you like horror, this is totally worth a watch. For real, disregard the aggressive hate and manage your expectations, you'll be rewarded.

The Lodge (2019)

Having a religious upbringing will make this 100x more terrifying.

[8/10 · 6 October 2023]

The Lodge is intense but definitely a slow-burn that won't be for everyone.

You spend the majority of the movie empathizing with ALL of the three main characters. The pain of the children is so heavy. Kudos to the actor who plays the daughter, she really knows how to cry on command. You feel so strongly for what they're going through, especially considering how young they are. But young kids are often much smarter and more complex than they're given credit for, which we see.

Then you have the stepmom, who you don't hate, but you're not really on her "team" until later in the film when you realize that her baggage from her past sort of outweighs what the kids are dealing with (which is saying a lot).

If you had a religious upbringing, this film can be pretty hard to swallow. I was raised in a strict Christian household and some of my biggest fears and worries from that time of my life were dredged up while watching this film. The film had me sick to my stomach at times, and unsettled pretty much nonstop. That is why I think this is good horror. It completely messes with you. If you don't understand how strong a hold religion can have on a person's psyche, you're not going to feel like this is scary at all.

The ending wasn't the best, I'll admit. Simply showing less to the audience and leaving more to the imagination could have made it even better, but it doesn't ruin the film at all. By the end, even though it seemed a tad corny when played out, that's actually the exact ending I wanted... which was a sickening realization... which might be part of the reason the ending was played through. Huh... just now noticed that one. Bonus points for implanting sick thoughts into my head. Yeah, great film. Highly recommend.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

The less you know, the better it is.

[7/10 · 6 October 2023]

This was surprisingly very scary. Probably in my top 10 as far as terror is concerned. The scenes of anticipation are REALLY intense and the music (or lack of, most times) adds to the terror immensely. I even screamed out loud at one point, which I'm not sure I've ever done.

The story starts very strong, gets a little silly in the middle somewhere, then finishes decent enough. I won't say what genre of horror this is, as I feel it would ruin the whole first half when you're trying to figure that out, but even knowing, it doesn't seem to follow the typical lore a layperson such as myself associates with the genre.

It's a fresh storyline, which I always welcome in horror, and the acting is quite good. If you like being on the edge of your seat nonstop, it's a solid watch.