Spoonmagic Reviews

Tarot (I) (2024)

Avoid...

[1/10 · 9 May 2024]

So bad it feels like a student movie.

It tries to be a combination of Cabin in the woods and Final Destination but fails at both badly. I'm actually writing this review as I watch it and don't care what I miss, it's that bad.

The acting is bad, writing is bad and direction is bad, the sfx are ok but nothing to write home about.

Don't bother watching, watch Cabin In The Woods or Final Destination instead.

Not even Spider-mans best friend can save this with his comedy timing.

It's the new generation of horror...horror lite you might call it. I'm old school though.

I think I'm gonna walk out...its that bad.

What If...? (2021– )

Too much Captain Carter!

[6/10 · 30 December 2023]

There are so many stories here to tell yet there is too much focus on Captain Carter, sure 1 story about her is fine but there's (so far) 3 episodes about her in season 2 and I fear more to come. I'm just not that interested in her. Also skipped the one about the native American hero back in the day...didn't know who she was and didn't care.

They made some odd choices on which stories to tell. I would of liked to see some more spider man, iron Man, hulk and Thor but we got stuck with carter too much or hero's we don't care about.

Required characters are stupid with reviews, its not a God damn thesis.

M3GAN (2022)

So much hype for no payoff

[2/10 · 25 January 2023]

Avoid this movie.

Even if you have a slight interest in artificial intelligence or horror. This is neither. You will waste your time watching this.

I was hoping for a "child's play" with AI but its soon slow and boring I almost turned it off. The effects on the doll are pretty awesome but they waste it and it's painful to watch.

I don't have much else to say, there's not enough horror in this to be called a horror movie.

Avoid if you are a fan of the genre. I won't be watching the sequel. Try "The horrifier" or even "AI" for a decent movie.

This will never be chucky. Don't even compare it.

The Orville (2017–2022)

Star Treck with Humor

[9/10 · 30 September 2021]

Seth Mcfarlane....not someone you would expect too much from in the way of Sci-Fi but...damn...He's got this really right!

When every episode ends I almost hear Star Trek Next Gen credits play.

It's like Star Trek combined with Family guy, only better.

As a long term Star Trek fan (Original, Enterprise, Voyager, Deep Space 9, etc) I can say that this stands out by itself.

It's got great special affects, worthy of any A+ movie.

It's like Seth has combined all the interesting aspects of Star Trek and made them into his own series.

If you are a fan of Sci Fi, particularly Trek fans you will love this. It may even convince non Sci Fi fans to watch as well.

Good on you Seth.... Big fan here!

Joker (I) (2019)

Not the Joker we know from the comics

[9/10 · 8 October 2019]

I'm a big fan of the DC comic universe and Joker has always been one of my favorite bad guys. This is not that Joker.

This story is totally stand alone as Joker from the comics has never been given a back story.

Don't expect too much action here, the movie isn't about that, it's all about Jokers decent into madness.

The hype around this movie I think is just part of it's advertising as there is nothing in this movie that's "hyper violent" or anything that graphic really. He kills a total of 6 people in the entire movie, 4 with a gun, one stabbing/head smashing into wall and one smothering. I laughed at the "news" stories about people walking out of the movie being sick...I'm not sure where those stories come from. I recently saw John Wick 3 and the violence in that movie is hundreds of times what this movie is. In fact I would even call the violence in this movie pretty tame by today's standards.

The star of this movie is of course Joaquin's acting. The depths he goes to play this kind of insanity is astounding. Giving the Joker the strange laughing mental illness was a great idea. Think tourettes but instead of swearing and ticks he laughs, it's really clever.

During the movie I actually felt for him, he gets pushed around so much I was almost cheering when he shot the bullies on the train.

It's a great story, slow, yes, but very compelling and I didn't feel bored throughout the movie.

I'm not sure about the top user review on this page as he calls it the best film to bring a comic book to life - it's not based on any comic book. Also using the words disturbing and violent feels a bit much, it's not that bad...

Oh and the way Joker runs is fantastic, he runs a lot in this movie and it's just funny to watch.

Red Billabong (2016)

2 stars for the dog

[2/10 · 22 June 2019]

Please don't watch this, if you somehow make it past the first 50 minutes of "character" development you are hit with some of the worst cgi you are likely to ever see.

The overacting is pretty over the top and the ending will leave you wondering why any of this was worth watching (spoilers, it's not).

I'm not sure how some people gave this 10/10 but I suspect they worked on the movie.

Even if you feel the need to support Australian made movies there are much better ones deserving of your attention.