Okay, so clearly I did not give this film a zero, because it's not all that bad for non fans. But, if you're a G.I. Joe aficionado like myself looking to time travel for at least 120 minutes of your life... forget it. The Rise of Cobra has so many pros and cons it's hard to truly shoot it down or give it praise and I'll tell you why.
The pros: I'm sure most fans are completely psyched to finally see a live action battle between Storm Shadow (the white ninja) and his sword brother Snake Eyes (the black ninja) on the big screen. Truthfully we get two great scenes in all of its bloody ninja goodness, so there's no need to complain there. Also, Sienna Miller delivers sexiness and vicious intent as the Baroness. She's so hot in that leather you'd almost go into a trance right before she kills you. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the shining jewel of this film. Yes, I said it. A lot of the fans I've heard from scoffed at his casting, but he proved them wrong as I knew he would! Joseph delivers a great voice and commanding presence as Cobra Commander that could not be topped. Finally, there's some awesome nostalgic elements to smile at like the "Yo Joe!" call, "Knowing is half the battle", and even a glimpse at the USS Flagg which was the G.I. Joe's aircraft carrier. Unfortunately, that's where it ends folks.
The cons: Sure you get a healthy dose of ninja action, but the back story between Storm and Snake is completely rewritten. It doesn't have any connection as to why they are now in the G.I. Joe and (ahem) MARS organizations! Is it just random coincidence? All of the back stories are changed and not one of them is completely believable, so don't think for a second that you non-fans would like what they did. I won't go into details because I'd be here all night. Sienna Miller looked good, but god... what a horrible Baroness. Remember I mentioned vicious intent? That's all it is, intent. She never really does any damage. Speaking of damage... there's just way too much guys. Really.
So that's how I see it. The film is a great one night stand, but she lacks the intelligence and potential for a second date. If you're looking to see a bunch of loud explosions, skin tight black rubber and goofy one-liners than this is the movie for you. Don't expect to come out of the theater reviewing all the cools scenes with your buddies, because you won't remember any of them. It's a wham bam thank you ma'am.
The pros: I'm sure most fans are completely psyched to finally see a live action battle between Storm Shadow (the white ninja) and his sword brother Snake Eyes (the black ninja) on the big screen. Truthfully we get two great scenes in all of its bloody ninja goodness, so there's no need to complain there. Also, Sienna Miller delivers sexiness and vicious intent as the Baroness. She's so hot in that leather you'd almost go into a trance right before she kills you. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the shining jewel of this film. Yes, I said it. A lot of the fans I've heard from scoffed at his casting, but he proved them wrong as I knew he would! Joseph delivers a great voice and commanding presence as Cobra Commander that could not be topped. Finally, there's some awesome nostalgic elements to smile at like the "Yo Joe!" call, "Knowing is half the battle", and even a glimpse at the USS Flagg which was the G.I. Joe's aircraft carrier. Unfortunately, that's where it ends folks.
The cons: Sure you get a healthy dose of ninja action, but the back story between Storm and Snake is completely rewritten. It doesn't have any connection as to why they are now in the G.I. Joe and (ahem) MARS organizations! Is it just random coincidence? All of the back stories are changed and not one of them is completely believable, so don't think for a second that you non-fans would like what they did. I won't go into details because I'd be here all night. Sienna Miller looked good, but god... what a horrible Baroness. Remember I mentioned vicious intent? That's all it is, intent. She never really does any damage. Speaking of damage... there's just way too much guys. Really.
So that's how I see it. The film is a great one night stand, but she lacks the intelligence and potential for a second date. If you're looking to see a bunch of loud explosions, skin tight black rubber and goofy one-liners than this is the movie for you. Don't expect to come out of the theater reviewing all the cools scenes with your buddies, because you won't remember any of them. It's a wham bam thank you ma'am.
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