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mitcheaven
Reviews
Valmont (1989)
Not so Good
Honestly, I don't think this movie is deserving of its current rating, so I feel compelled to comment as a sort of public service. To the people who said this movie was better than Dangerous Liasons: I have seen both films, and read the book, and you are wrong.
I do agree with the other reviewers that this film had a superior Cecille; Uma Thurman (Cecille in Dangerous Liasons) is way too godesslike and statuesque to convincingly play a 15-year-old naif. Also, the sets and costumes were pretty to look at. (But honestly? If I want pretty, I'll look at a coffee-table book about Versailles or something, not watch a two-hour movie.) That, I'm afraid, is where the superiorities end.
Here are some reasons this movie is pretty bad:
1. Way too long. I started to get antsy and began fast-forwarding through a lot of parts that seemed unnecessary, and it still felt too long. Apparently the director felt that after a character delivered a line of dialogue, there should be an enormous, pregnant silence before someone else spoke. Unbelievably annoying.
2. A lot of praise has been heaped on this movie for "softening" the characters of Valmont and Madame de Merteuil, as if that's supposed to be a good thing. The fact that these two people are so callous and evil is what drives the entire plot and makes the book so compelling. I was really disappointed in Firth's Valmonth, although I'm not sure if it was because Colin Firth can't convincingly play a cold-blooded monster, or because the screenplay robbed Valmont of his cold-bloodedness. He came across as a sort of bumbling, ineffectual lothario, so that when he said he had seduced and ruined hundreds of women, it was utterly unconvincing. One of the most interesting things about the novel is how Valmont softens as he falls in love with Madame de Tourvel; in this version, that's pretty much absent, since Valmont doesn't seem all that bad to begin with.
3. The plot was a mess. If I hadn't already read the book, I'm pretty sure I would have no idea what anyone's motivations were. What, exactly, is going on with Valmont and Madame de Tourvel? Why does she suddenly fall in love with him? What are his feelings towards her? Why does she suddenly leave? Why does Valmont become angry with Madame de Merteuil for refusing to uphold her end of their bet, but then refuse to claim the prize when she offers it to him? All this is left unexplored.
4. Meg Tilly is woefully miscast as Madame de Tourvel. It's hard to fathom why even this softer, less effectual Valmont would set his sights on a woman so uninteresting and unattractive.
5. Colin Firth has really, really bad hair. Like mullet bad.
You've been warned.