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Haycroft
Reviews
PAW Patrol: Jet to the Rescue (2020)
My 3 year old loved it.
This is playing at cinemas here in Melbourne, Australia.
After 112 days of Stage 4 COVID-19 lockdown, cinemas are showing whatever they can it seems.
The last film I took my son to was Sonic The Hedgehog in February, it's November now.
I fell asleep at some point in this but was woken up by my son squealing with excitement and jumping out of his seat.
It stars all the pups and they have "new machines!!!" (Jets) as my son kept saying.
Your kid will love it.
HAPPYish (2015)
Watchable, but good luck raising a smile.
Being a big fan of Steve Coogan I was very keen to watch this show. But after three episodes I'm beginning to feel as numb as the characters.
It's grating to hear Coogan say "Asshole" and "Lame-ass" in an American accent while the rest of what he says sounds British. It became glaringly annoying when the British-Indian character said "Arse" soon after Coogan said "Ass". I understand the trivial nature of this, but imagine an American actor suddenly saying "Mate" in an Australian accent while talking to another character, it'll be quite jarring.
Kathryn Hahn character is painfully neurotic and its hard to feel any sympathy for anything the she says. Also the scene where she struggles to fit a parcel in her Jeep takes way too frustratingly long, I don't know if this was played for laughs or to portray the character as spatially inept?
Having said all that, I guess the concept of watching dull, unpleasant people eek out their lives in such a soulless way can make us (or maybe just myself) feel better about life.
The inclusion of animated inanimate objects adds a little bit of fantasy to the show, so there's another plus.
It's annoying, crass, depressing, but I want to watch another episode.
Danny's Egg (1984)
I think this is the film.
I have a vague memory of watching this movie in primary school sometime in the 80's, but its a happy memory. The basic story is about Danny, a boy in a rural Australian school who finds an emu egg, not entirely sure how or why, but being a good kid decides to look after it by keeping it in a footy beanie and under a hot lamp. The rest of the film is hazy, I think he has to deal with bullies, parents and teachers, classic school scenarios and situations. However, the climax of the film has for some reason has Danny carrying the emu egg under his shirt in the school parade, it suddenly hatches and all the townspeople rejoice. Turns out this film is still Australian schools for a bit of history and for simply being a good story.
Nostalgic at best.
Dexter: Remember the Monsters? (2013)
Lame
There could've been countless better endings to this.
Jamie finds a piece of evidence and shows it to Angel & Quinn. Masuka does a quick google search check and sees all the sites Dexter has looked at and how they relate to countless murders? Dexter gets caught and kept in an asylum to be studied (and then to train, perhaps?) OR Deb just cracks it, shoots him & Hanna, leaving her to raise Harrison, who has homicidal tendencies.
They're just the ones that popped in my head and without ego, they already sound more interesting.
But we're left with a confusing, hastily wrapped up boring piece of dreck that leaves an opening for a TV movie or additional story but now without Deb, arguably the best character, wide enough to drive a truck through.
This is as bad as the Sopranos ending and more disappointing than its final season.
Thank god for Breaking Bad.
Rest Stop (2006)
This stank worse than the toilet it is set in.
This is the first film that has inspired me enough to comment on. I should have known better, for a Rest Stop in Australia is essentially a toilet block and a picnic table, exactly like where this movie is set. From the opening frustrating shaky hand-held camera work, I knew this was going to be difficult and not in a 'Cloverfield' kinda way.
We are quickly introduced to our damsel in distress and her tool boyfriend and I wanted them, especially him, to die in a car accident leaving their neighborhood on their way to Hollywood. But alas no, we are punished for a further 75 minutes of clichés, plot holes and parts that just make no sense.
Our distraught gal, Nicole, uses a filthy toilet in some backwater place only to return to have her boyfriend missing. A yellow pick-up truck is constantly circling the whole time.
In the time while she's confused and waiting she keeps returning to the filthy bathroom to talk to herself, then to a ghost (?), then back to the rangers office to see herself in an amateur porno, then onto an RV with a psycho Christian family with a deformed midget and when the police finally arrive in the guise of Joey (whoa, I use to be a heartthrob, I think, on Blossom) Lawrence, he is hit by the pick-up.
Now, there is 1, read 1, good part to this whole clogged thunder box of a film and that is, Nicole drags Lawrence's police character, Constable Paycheck I think his name was, into the lavatory again (Why?) and the psycho starts pouring gasoline in through the window, Paycheck begs Nicole to shoot him as he is paralyzed and doesn't want to burn. Finally she blasts a gory (glory?) hole though his head and as she cries, he wakes and starts yelling "You missed, shoot me again!!!" Now if the director/writer had let loose with that kind of stupid humor earlier this may have been more fun, but no, he felt it necessary to bore the crap out of us, which is fitting considering its set in a turd hole...