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CWMesserschmidt
Reviews
Arnis: The Sticks of Death (1986)
Speak softly and carry a big stick
Roland Dantes is apparently a legendary Filipino bodybuilder, martial artist and actor. All I know is he sports a very cool mustache. He also carries a big stick and knows how to use it to kick bad guy asses.
There is very little information on the internet about this martial arts cheese fest but, if that's your sort of thing, you'll likely enjoy it. I caught the film on late-night TV and found myself hypnotized by the wooden acting, lackluster fight choreography, numerous scenes of shirtless men stretching or working out and 70's porn music. It's like one long episode of SNL's "The Ambiguously Gay Duo." They even rip some soundtrack music from horror classic "Night of the Living Dead!" It is a darned shame that the film has only been released on VHS. This truly deserves remastering and release on DVD or Blu-Ray to achieve the cult status it deserves.
Survival of the Dead (2009)
More of the Same
As a fan of Romero's earlier works who did not really care for Land of the Dead or Diary of the Dead, this film initially held promise. Early press touted it as more of a return to form for Romero. In a way, that's true. Unfortunately, it plays more like a greatest hits collection than a new film.
There's nothing here you haven't already seen from Romero. It's as if he's reminiscing about his glory days. The plot, with it's two warring clans, is nearly identical to that of Day. Throw in some sprinkles of Land and Diary's action and season to taste.
You'll also get to see the exploding head from Dawn done with CG so bad you will laugh out loud. Behold the torso gut stretch from Day, complete with the comic book style fluorescent blood from Dawn. It's all here, wrapped in a Saran Wrap plot so thin you can smell it rotting from the opening scene.
Romero has created a film that plays more like a Universal Studios thrill ride honoring his original classic films than a true entry into the zombie genre. For once I wish I was too short to ride.