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qholway
Reviews
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
oh dear
sorry, this is not a good film. simply setting up a bunch of people for violent, miserable death and torture, zombie has no tale to tell and no point to make. as far as i remember nobody survives, not that it matters, which seems to be the point of this childish, inept exercise in ersatz nihilism. (actually, i may be wrong there... can't quite recall, but isn't there some hulking deformed fellow who comes to the director's wife's rescue and then... ohh, i really can't be bothered.) a lot of superannuated infants would have one believe that this film is 'sick' and 'depraved' to it's credit. it's not. while it is definitely deserving of both those adjectives it is still no good whatsoever.
torture, humiliation, smashed-in heads and a clattering, numb-skull soundtrack might be your delight, i don't know, but i hope it isn't, for your sake. and naming these things as credits is just silly.
it's a film that makes you feel bad, not for it's characters but for the world we live in and that we will be shortly leaving to our children. a world where watching supposed versions of ourselves being ripped apart, both literally and figuratively, is regarded as entertainment.
horror has a place, sure, and good horror films are good films first. that they horrify means they've succeeded, but they have to have quality in the first place to do that. merely dealing out death and misery and pouring cancerous moral bleakness into our parietal lobes succeeds in nothing but fulfilling only the needs and curious desires of those blank-headed children mentioned earlier - the ones who slow down to see who got caved in in a multiple pile-up but who would, presumably, prefer not to suffer the indignity of being the crushed person being so voyeuristically studied.
don't ask me what makes a good horror film, specifically - if i knew that i would be making one rather than typing this - but it's clear for (nearly) all to see what makes a bad one. this film could be a textbook for those looking to do just that.
but do go see it if you like this kind of thing. it is, after all, aimed directly at you.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Best Bond?
Yeah, I think so. Like most people who are interested in James Bond, I saw the films over and over on TV before I read any of the books. I then got round to buying Casino Royale, and being knocked out by it - this was somewhat different to Moonraker and all that Roger Moore stuff. So I read the books in their sequence, seriously the best way, and by the time OHMSS came round, I had a pretty good idea of who James Bond was. And, I'm sorry to inform all the Seanophiles, James Bond is not Connery, Moore, Dalton (though he came close, but is Welsh..)or Brosnan. Oddly enough, given the choices, he's kind of like George Lazenby.
Sure, Sean Connery was suave, sexy, and spoke rather curiously, Timothy Dalton had the serious side sorted, Brosnan is sophisticated etc, Roger Moore.. well, another time, maybe.
George Lazenby, maybe due to his lack of experience, (though why is his debut so widely mulled over in that respect.... it's not something that most actors are subjected to?) is not so at ease with his surroundings, not so cocksure that everything is going to work out fine as the others, and this is the real James Bond. The one in the books. You can almost believe in this one. And when things don't work out fine, you feel a weird familiarity with him. He's just a man, though admittedly he's disproportionately talented at a pretty impressive range of activities, from skiing to flying, swordsmanship, shooting people, jumping out of things, carnal endeavours etc.. Oh no, sorry, that's me. Well, anyway, I'm quite tired now. OHMSS is the best of the films, though From Russia With Love contains possibly the finest fight scene of all and maybe the best trio of baddies (including a slightly peripatetic Blofeld)and is Connery's best.
George Lazenby is the best Bond, because his talents - a certain naturalistic charm, physical dexterity, and a capacity for possible failure - are used brilliantly, and he is closer by far than any of the others to the book-Bond.
There you go.
Oh, and Diana Rigg is the best 'Bond girl', though that description is not very fair to her, We Have All The Time In The World is the best Bond song, and the theme tune is possibly John Barry's finest work.. let alone being the best Bond title theme.
There you go again.
Thanks for reading, and if you happen to disagree, well... you're wrong. Cheers.