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stuckfly
Reviews
Avatar (2009)
Gaia evangelism and no humor, but otherwise superb film!
Minus 1 point for no levity at all. Three hours of seriousness puts a strain on the concept of entertainment.
Minus 1 for being a cliché plot with Hollywood's obsessive stereotypes: evil corporations, evil military ops, interconnectedness of living things, mining exploitation of native peoples. Beating dead alien horses.
Plus 2 for exceptional use of 3D.
Plus 2 for astonishingly beautiful CGI.
Plus 1 for Sigorney smoking a cigarette and being herself (don't ever change).
Attention to detail and believable alien flora and fauna, plus 3.
Satisfying pace and several fresh ideas bring it to a solid 8.
Humor and lay off the tired green propaganda (or at least bring something new to the campaign). Could have been a 10.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Mediocre Entertainment or Left-Wing Propaganda?
This film had potential, but it was botched from the start.
One would have to be an idiot not to expect a loud global warming message, but it was laid on so thick and in such a trite mode that it was very distracting. There's no need to try to increase awareness on that issue. Unless you live under a rock you already know about global warming; the movie adds nothing new to the debate.
Global warming was only the main of many political attractions; I could have played liberal agenda bingo with this film! The only item that wasn't squeezed in was gay rights-- or maybe I missed that scene. This is annoying no matter your political flavor.
I've heard that the film makers admit to stretching the bounds of credible science for the sake of the story, but c'mon! The opening scene tramples probability and common sense so brutally it's almost impossible to take anything afterwards seriously. The only films such stupidity fits are comic book adaptations.
Did they cast the President as an Al Gore look-alike on purpose?
Is Quaid getting desperate for work or did he accept a guest starring role to help promote awareness of issues, as if that were needed?
I'd comment on the story if there were one. It was a patchwork around effects scenes and propaganda bites. Similar to The Core, only more obvious.
The only reason I rated this a generous 5 is the visual effects, and even then I had to isolate them from surrounding scenes and laws of physics to enjoy them. One exception, the wolf models were lame. The effects were, in general, interesting.
As a propaganda vehicle Day After Tomorrow is very well done, but as entertainment it plain stinks. I don't appreciate having laid down my dwindling entertainment dollars to watch Dennis Quaid's over-simplified political views. The only message I came away with is 'take my money elsewhere next time', and I hope other movie-goers will do likewise.
Cold Mountain (2003)
Historically Asinine, Tremendously Depressing Entertainment!
When the historical context of a film that is based in a setting as well documented and relevant as the American Civil War is so completely falsified as is contrived in this film there is only one thing to do: turn off the brain and try to enjoy the movie on its entertainment merits alone. Unfortunately, this film is so depressing there is no entertainment value. In a word, Blech!
Even illiterates involved in the Civil War had clearly understood at least the basic reasons they were fighting. Both sides had concrete and heart-felt convictions to the last man. There is no excuse for painting it as a Vietnam style political fiasco-- even allowing that over simplistic view of Vietnam-- other than outright ignorance or a desire to revise public perception of what really happened. Read a book, people!
Hollywood's obsession with antichristian themes is annoyingly prevailant these days, but here we have a blatant case of malicious slander against anything related to church, even though the moral influences of christians in general played an enormous role in America's growth and stability, and particularly in Abe Lincoln's resolve to follow moral issues rather than political ones in fighting the Civil War, to the ongoing benefit of African-Americans and the United States overall. Contrary to Hollywood idiocy, men of the cloth are not and have not been the scum of the earth as a matter of habit(present Catholic controversies notwithstanding).
The Last Samurai (2003)
Excellent epic film
I doubt the historical basis, but the story is plausible and well developed. Performances were excellent. Battle and fighting scenes are gory but not overly so, and very intense. Characters have depth, which is a surprising quality these days.
There is an annoying historical emphasis against white Americans, which is undeserved from a practical and factual viewpoint, but the story would have been weak without this slant.
Recommend keeping the fact that this is fiction in mind, but don't miss this one!
Timeline (2003)
Adventurous, if a bit short
Refreshingly worth the ticket price. Predictable, but not distractingly so. Film seemed too short for the story, could have used some inter-scene development. Battle scenes were excellent, and other action/fight scenes weren't overboard like so many since Matrix. Good family flick, for those who are tired of out-of-place profanity and sex. You should go check it out!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
High quality Jessica Biel Ad or Mediocre Film?
Maybe the original TCM was better. I haven't seen it, but the 2003 version is a fairly plotless movie, albeit interesting.
The secondary characters are quite well done. The setting is perfectly executed. Violence is less than expected, which is a good thing. Attack scenes are okay. However, even the villian takes a back seat to the ever present sweaty belly shots of Jessica Biel. Not that I'm complaining. If this doesn't spawn stardom for her nothing will. Besides, without her distracting displays I think I would have noticed the lack of story substance much more. She can act, too!
All in all, it's a decent guy-flick. And no, it did NOT really happen.
School of Rock (2003)
Morally skewed wholesome family entertainment
School of Rock is a feel-good movie with a good plot and no unnecessary baggage. Unfortunately, it sends mixed messages to viewers, especially young viewers.
First, it's okay to be a prolific liar. The main character lies to every other character without exception. Aside from a couple awkward moments, there are no negative consequences.
Second, aspiring to rock stardom is a higher goal than academic excellence, including musical quality. The main character easily tempts young students away from learning math, grammar, and music theory. He transforms them into rockers, ironically relying on their existing academic and musical development for his selfish plans. This is all okay with students, friends, teachers, the principle, and parents, who are all enlightened by the end of the film.
Still, these flaws are so obvious it's easy to ignore them and enjoy the show. In fact, I used the film to discuss those moral issues with my kids and it worked very well.
After all, movies are an escape from reality, not about it. Just don't get the two mixed up!
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)
Cult SF flicks don't get any better
Classic cult SF. Mad Max in space. Acting doesn't stink, special effects aren't absolutely awful, and the plot ...well, it's not hard to follow. Too bad Mystery Science Theater 3000 isn't around to hack this film! Spacehunter is a fun and hilarious low-budget SF film for the whole family, or a large group of drunks.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Fun Action Film
League is based on a graphic novel. To all those viewers who've given it a bad rating for lack of depth and realism and acting: Get A Clue.
To increase any of those qualities would require two things. First, the author of the graphic novel upon which the film is based would have to agree to alter the story utterly, which is very unlikely. Second, the film would need another hour. On behalf of my butt, I wish to express relief that another hour was not added to this film.
What it lacks in meaningful drama, it makes up with plentiful action. There's a bit of every sort of effect. A couple things that even comic book addicts couldn't possibly swallow, but they're short sequences. The story moves very quickly to keep you from thinking. Just let it happen and enjoy the ride.
The characters are all interesting, but there's no time for development. You'll get a sense that backgrounds and emotional depth are stuffed in like mortar, which they are. Just enough to explain things, but the attempts are a bit distracting.
If you expect a grand performance from Connery, you'll be disappointed. The part does not call for his considerable acting talents. It does take advantage of his age, charm, and trademark stout Scottish persona. Thankfully, he does not "carry" the film. The members of the supporting cast do very well on their own (except for the American secret agent, who should have been excluded from the story anyway). Again, none of the parts call for stellar acting.
Your eyeball muscles will get a major workout, but hey...no pain, no gain. Go see this film while it's still on the big screen.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Best of the 3
Arnold the machine hasn't aged a day and his acting is improved, not that he has many lines. Loken was excellent!
The effects were better, the action was equal, and the plot was more intelligent. Hope to see a TV series or something.
I fault it for a few technical hits, unnecessarily indecent language, and the tendency of the good guys to give the bad girl every opportunity. When we barely escape doom, do we pause for breath and pose? We do not.
If you like violent action films, you have to see this one on the big. If you saw Full Throttle, T3 should recover your loss.
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Go see it with your family and friends!
Jim is back, and better than ever! I'm glad Jim Carrey has explored more dramatic roles. Although not as entertaining or profitable, his more serious acting endeavors have clearly allowed him to refine his unique talents.
Bruce Almighty showcases a perfect balance of touching drama and hillarious comedy in his peculiar style. Emotional moments are just long enough to make things personal, and short enough to break up the laughter so as to give your ribs much needed rest.
Aside from a little profanity, which actually fits the situations, it's a very clean film (contemporarily speaking). It's not a deeply religious film, and it doesn't come off overly preachy. God is God; not a one-size-fits-all, nameless, genderless being. He's Morgan Freeman, and there is no more comfortable guy in all the universe.
The movie promotes common-sense spirituality, such as taking responsibility for the bad and good in life (rather than blaming God), praying to God earnestly and personally, and lightening up (a message present day clergy should pay attention to). Surprisingly, the feel-good messages do not have a plastic feel; they're sensible and thought provoking. One gets a sense that maybe God isn't such a big party-pooper after all.
Jennifer Aniston's performance is excellent. She makes the movie work by showing the unfair effects of Bruce's selfish behavior on her innocent character. She gets to display a much wider range of her acting talent than TV roles permit.
God's vocation provides the framework of the movie, but the story has more to do with situational comedy and drama; a series of errors and their consequences. It answers the question we all daydream about: What would you do if you had God's powers? Answer: You'd adjust things to your liking, settle scores, and do good deeds from your limited perspective; basically screw everything up!
If this film doesn't delight you and make you ponder your attitude, there's something fundamentally wrong inside of you. Go see it with your family and friends!
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
Crouching Tiger American style
This was a good film. I was pleased to find there weren't many more impossible jumping and spinning moves than were shown in the trailer. Gracefully defying physical laws may be the stuff of good Chinese fantasy, but to me it comes off as absurd fairy antics. I know, it's a cultural thing, like food. Chinese cuisine is all about nuances and subtleties. Americanized Chinese food replaces all that with various kinds of salt. Why? Because we don't get it, and we don't want to. American culture can be summed up thus: Just give me a Big Mac and hurry the Hell up!
And that brings up the plot. It's fast paced sans frills and you just have to overlook sensibilities, which is easy to do because there aren't any. Like any good martial arts flick, the story is the glue, not the material. We don't want to have to think about why an ass gets kicked. The bad guys are really bad and deserve what they get. Without exception in this film, the good guys kick butt really well and look exceptionally cool.
I have but one gripe. Hollywood once again gives a hip, bad-ass role to a petty criminal. They make a token effort to gloss that over, but c'mon! Wouldn't you rather see an honest, hard-working person save the world and get the hottie and the special powers?
No? Well, okay then. I hope to see more of Yun-Fat Chow and Seann Scott, and especially Ms. James (Jamie) King in future.
The Core (2003)
Good comic book action, but turn your brain off first.
The key to enjoying this film is to expect it to be absurd. It might have been better (and actually turned a profit) had it been a SciFi comedy (on purpose). If Mystery Science Theater 3000 were still going this would be an excellent target. You must not think at all during this movie. It's not just the scientific angles that are so ridiculous. Everything is. Every decision, every event, every behavior... It's also about 30 minutes too long.
Regardless, it's a fun movie; the kind of thing good daydreams are made of. Loads of action, interesting visual effects, and did I mention action? Momentum is what holds it all together.
I hope dismal ticket sales might help Hollywood get a clue that viewers increasingly want producers, screenplay writers, and directors to turn their brains on rather than expect us to turn ours off.
Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
Wait for the video
Avoid seeing this on the SciFi channel because for every 7 minutes of film you're subject to 5 minutes of repetitive commercials, mostly for other SciFi shows...over and over...
It's not nearly as interesting as the first Cube; sort of aimless. A couple interesting twists. Pathetic visuals.
The Hunted (2003)
Overwhelmingly Asinine
The maximum 1000 words is not enough space to give a full run-down of the moronic elements of this film, so here's a brief summary:
Real military special forces personnel will be nauseated to find themselves reduced to the stock Hollywood "fighting machines" who ignore obvious solutions to simple problems out of pride and ignorance, preferring always to enjoy violence and bloody competition over reason or common sense. They don't deserve that sort of stigma. Given their true, dangerous, and present role rescuing hostages and protecting the liberties that Beverly Hills activists take for granted, portraying professional soldiers as psychopaths ought to provoke public outrage.
The film is rife with blatant stupidity. FBI agents are able to creep up on elite warriors to save the day, but later become mysteriously inept and useless. The acute hero alternately avoids and stumbles into various traps, surviving despite the laws of physics. It's awfully tempting to go on...
Finally, perhaps to try to give the movie some sort of moral message other than "fighting with knives is really cool", animal treatment ethics are tossed in completely out of sync. You almost expect the actors to face the camera and do a commercial: "...and that's why I never harm animals". Oh, please.
If this is the kind of patronizing junk the entertainment industry wants to offer, hopefully I won't be alone in spending my money elsewhere.
Kevin of the North (2001)
Leslie Nielsen's typically hilarious acting absent in this one
If you're after a Nielsen comedy, don't bother. His role is a mundane supporting one and lacks his usual comedy genius. Unfortunately, the performances and plot he supports is lifeless and average. The dogs don't even contribute.
Gangs of New York (2002)
A perfect gore-fest buried in nonsense
Historically questionable, the plot, if there is one, is nothing more than a collection of misguided social statements from the director, Martin Scorsese, mixed with old-hat themes of vengeance and sex. Viewers are expected to take in a whole range of simplistic stereotypes that serve only to blur the weak story:
Minority immigrants are poor victims of racism, but we are to ignore the racism they bring with them and the very real economic threat they presented to an already crowded area.
White Anglo-Saxons are greedy, self-serving oppressors, even though they built the city, let alone the nation, to which the immigrants willingly came.
All Christians are hypocrits, which is an asinine theme Scorsese crams into all his works, whether such a point fits or not. It was Christian principles and the selfless toil of missionaries and churches that ended the sorts of human depravity that did take place in that time and place, despite the ever present contrary behavior of those who call themselves Christian yet live as pigs and dogs. Viewers are not expected to know the difference. Women are helpless and good even when they are whores, thieves, and murderers.
All of the characters in this movie are cowards, except when they fight each other. It's okay to be a coward as long as one is also a savage.
If you're looking for an historical film, this one is too focused on petty barbarism to give a worthwhile sense of life in early New York City, and awfully slanted to support the director's obtuse views. If you want drama, this offers only hatred. For entertainment, see just about any other film.
If you want senseless gore without any good guys or fun then this movie is a perfect 10.