I don't like the super hero genre, and this movie is the poster "girl" for why! Poor plot, poor acting, poor directing ... the studios think any super hero drivel will make money, and gee, it does! Not even suspension of disbelief can suspend my belief that this is an awful movie!
Reviews
16 Reviews
The Shape of Water
(2017)
The most mind numbing tripe I have EVER unfortunately been exposed to!
11 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The most mind numbing tripe I have EVER unfortunately been exposed to! If the AWFUL story line doesn't get to you, the bestiality will! The Academy should be ABSOLUTELY ASHAMED of itself for having this drivel represented as Best Picture. This has GOT TO BE THE WORST movie EVER to win an Oscar!
Max
(I) (2015)
Buddy movie, could have been a Disney flick!
28 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I hate long winded reviews, so here goes...
Buddy movie, could have been a Disney flick! Starts in Afghanistan with the Marine unit. We meet Max, his handler and his hometown buddy and in the same unit. We get a peek that the hometown buddy is corrupt.
When on the mission the handler gets killed, Max goes berserk and tries to attack the hometown buddy.
The dog doesn't like the corrupt hometown buddy, he's a bad guy.
Max befriends his dead handler's brother brother (boy).
Max exposes his dead handler's corrupt hometown buddy that was in the Marines with them.
The dog redeems himself to the family of the KIA vet.
Boy and dog save the day.
The family is brought closer.
A good family film, like Old Yeller, if you're old enough to remember!
Buddy movie, could have been a Disney flick! Starts in Afghanistan with the Marine unit. We meet Max, his handler and his hometown buddy and in the same unit. We get a peek that the hometown buddy is corrupt.
When on the mission the handler gets killed, Max goes berserk and tries to attack the hometown buddy.
The dog doesn't like the corrupt hometown buddy, he's a bad guy.
Max befriends his dead handler's brother brother (boy).
Max exposes his dead handler's corrupt hometown buddy that was in the Marines with them.
The dog redeems himself to the family of the KIA vet.
Boy and dog save the day.
The family is brought closer.
A good family film, like Old Yeller, if you're old enough to remember!
Spectre
(I) (2015)
Another Bond flick, Spectre
5 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I'm going to be a short as IMDb allows me to be, because not much needs to be said other than, IT'S A BOND FLICK! If you don't particularly like Bond films, don't waste your time, this IS A BOND FILM.
If you are so-so over Bond, this won't change your mind, this IS A BOND FILM.
If you really like Bond, "Spectre" will scratch the itch until the next Bond flick comes.
If you love Bond, this is the prototypical Bond formula movie that fits in nicely and fills some past thematic gaps! As far as Bond goes, Craig is in my top 3 Bonds behind #1 Sean Connery with #2 & 3 being up for grabs between Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.
As far as villains go, Christoph Waltz makes a great calm, speech making, megalomaniac, psychopath! He essentially plays the same psychopathic monster he did in "Inglorious Bastards".
If you are so-so over Bond, this won't change your mind, this IS A BOND FILM.
If you really like Bond, "Spectre" will scratch the itch until the next Bond flick comes.
If you love Bond, this is the prototypical Bond formula movie that fits in nicely and fills some past thematic gaps! As far as Bond goes, Craig is in my top 3 Bonds behind #1 Sean Connery with #2 & 3 being up for grabs between Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.
As far as villains go, Christoph Waltz makes a great calm, speech making, megalomaniac, psychopath! He essentially plays the same psychopathic monster he did in "Inglorious Bastards".
Rock the Kasbah
(2015)
Wait for the DVD
27 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Slow, not even close to a good movie. Naive American view of Pashtun Afghanistan. A woman defying family and culture wouldn't be embraced, no matter how well she sang, IN English! This culture would not tolerate a woman acting like this, not to mention voting her the winner of a televised TV talent contest, Afghan Star.
The premise of a washed up talent agent (Bill Murray) from Van Nuys, taking his last bit of talent (Zooey Deschanel), on a very ill fated USO tour isn't a good start. Then as Deschanel becomes even more despondent over the situation and bugs out, taking all of Murray's money and his passport, essentially leaving him stranded.
Introducing a cab driver and mercenary (Bruce Willis) along the way doesn't really add much other than Willis becomes a reluctant "side kick" to Murray. The relationship between Murray and Willis doesn't add much.
In the process of trying to find his AWOL star Deschanel, Murray hooks up with a couple of arms dealers (Scott Caan & Danny McBride) that take him to the "club" where his missing star MUST BE. Alas, she's not there, but enter an American prostitute (Kate Hudson) on her "retirement" tour bent on earning enough from her body in Afghanistan to retire on.
After Murray spends a night with her, cashing in his only thing of value, a watch he hooks back up with the arms dealers that brought him to the club. They want to employ him for his "closing ability" for an arms deal in a nearby Pashtun village.
This is where Murray "discovers" his completely unknown talent a Pashtun girl (Leem Lubany). This is where the story really begins. Unfortunately, it begins here, but doesn't become more interesting.
As I said, wait for the DVD!
The premise of a washed up talent agent (Bill Murray) from Van Nuys, taking his last bit of talent (Zooey Deschanel), on a very ill fated USO tour isn't a good start. Then as Deschanel becomes even more despondent over the situation and bugs out, taking all of Murray's money and his passport, essentially leaving him stranded.
Introducing a cab driver and mercenary (Bruce Willis) along the way doesn't really add much other than Willis becomes a reluctant "side kick" to Murray. The relationship between Murray and Willis doesn't add much.
In the process of trying to find his AWOL star Deschanel, Murray hooks up with a couple of arms dealers (Scott Caan & Danny McBride) that take him to the "club" where his missing star MUST BE. Alas, she's not there, but enter an American prostitute (Kate Hudson) on her "retirement" tour bent on earning enough from her body in Afghanistan to retire on.
After Murray spends a night with her, cashing in his only thing of value, a watch he hooks back up with the arms dealers that brought him to the club. They want to employ him for his "closing ability" for an arms deal in a nearby Pashtun village.
This is where Murray "discovers" his completely unknown talent a Pashtun girl (Leem Lubany). This is where the story really begins. Unfortunately, it begins here, but doesn't become more interesting.
As I said, wait for the DVD!
A Walk in the Woods
(2015)
Walking through the woods with a walker.
5 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I have NOT read the book, but I understand the author was 30 years younger that Redford when he walked the Appalachian Trail. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but believing an 80 year old is walking the trail is absurd! Nick Nolte was also way past his prime for age for the co-lead in the movie, although he did have some funny story lines. Casting was just a task that wasn't effective, especially, since Redford was executive producer, a better lead couldn't be considered or Redford's money would have walked.
Again casting really came up short. Considering Redford's age, to cast Emmma Thompson as his wife, given a 23 year age gap, with children and grandchildren no less a product of the marriage is a bit much to swallow! Later on Mary Steenburgen is cast a a potential flirtation is as equally ridiculous.
I so wanted to like this movie, but the ONLY redeeming portrayal by any actor in the movie was from Kristen Schaal a VERY ANNOYING hiker they met on the trail, she was a breath of fresh air.
And CRIMINAL is the only way I can describe the cinematography for the film give the vast beautiful vistas that should have been available on the Appalachian Trail, the scenery should have starred. Additionally, the scene where they fell over the small ledge was so HORRIBLY done on a studio set, the set director should have been shot.
All in all, one of the most disappointing movies I have seen in a long time!
Again casting really came up short. Considering Redford's age, to cast Emmma Thompson as his wife, given a 23 year age gap, with children and grandchildren no less a product of the marriage is a bit much to swallow! Later on Mary Steenburgen is cast a a potential flirtation is as equally ridiculous.
I so wanted to like this movie, but the ONLY redeeming portrayal by any actor in the movie was from Kristen Schaal a VERY ANNOYING hiker they met on the trail, she was a breath of fresh air.
And CRIMINAL is the only way I can describe the cinematography for the film give the vast beautiful vistas that should have been available on the Appalachian Trail, the scenery should have starred. Additionally, the scene where they fell over the small ledge was so HORRIBLY done on a studio set, the set director should have been shot.
All in all, one of the most disappointing movies I have seen in a long time!
The Intern
(I) (2015)
A chick flick with DeNiro = A good film
24 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
OK, OK, sounds sexist, but the formula was chick flick (female makes good, makes you feel good). Add in Robert DeNiro and you have a horse of a different color, or maybe I've been married too long.
Really, this was a very good movie with and excellent cast. Anne Hathaway plays a good hard charging founder of an internet clothing line (About the Fit ) that does what everyone hopes their clothes will do when they receive, after ordering sight unseen, off the internet, "FIT". She cares deeply about her company, maybe too deeply, as we find out.
Hathaway has a family (a daughter and husband) that seem to play second fiddle to the company. The husband is feeling so far left out of the marriage he is having an affair. She just needs to learn balance and have someone she can count on helping her with the company, enter the intern.
DeNiro, the senior intern (as in age, & experience), is perceptive, too perceptive for Hathaway, and picks up on the familiar situation. His understanding, though, goes a long way to help the overall situation. Deniro, Hathaway, and all of the other cast have an excellent chemistry and rapport.
I don't want you to think that I think DeNiro carried the film, but, the film was called "The Intern". That being said, DeNiro brought his whole experience to the table, but Hathaway played her part with heart playing the fast moving, fast talking, fast at everything founder of the company with aplomb, much like her character.
I found the movie very refreshing, entertaining, and heartfelt. See this movie, you'll enjoy it! A 7 is what a consider a good movie, 8, 9, 10s are reserved for GREAT sci-fi and action flix, after all, I'm a guy.
Really, this was a very good movie with and excellent cast. Anne Hathaway plays a good hard charging founder of an internet clothing line (About the Fit ) that does what everyone hopes their clothes will do when they receive, after ordering sight unseen, off the internet, "FIT". She cares deeply about her company, maybe too deeply, as we find out.
Hathaway has a family (a daughter and husband) that seem to play second fiddle to the company. The husband is feeling so far left out of the marriage he is having an affair. She just needs to learn balance and have someone she can count on helping her with the company, enter the intern.
DeNiro, the senior intern (as in age, & experience), is perceptive, too perceptive for Hathaway, and picks up on the familiar situation. His understanding, though, goes a long way to help the overall situation. Deniro, Hathaway, and all of the other cast have an excellent chemistry and rapport.
I don't want you to think that I think DeNiro carried the film, but, the film was called "The Intern". That being said, DeNiro brought his whole experience to the table, but Hathaway played her part with heart playing the fast moving, fast talking, fast at everything founder of the company with aplomb, much like her character.
I found the movie very refreshing, entertaining, and heartfelt. See this movie, you'll enjoy it! A 7 is what a consider a good movie, 8, 9, 10s are reserved for GREAT sci-fi and action flix, after all, I'm a guy.
Just another apocalyptic zombie movie
17 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Just another apocalyptic zombie movie.
The original installment of Maze Runner was an interesting thriller / action movie. The suspense of where the boys came from, who put them there, what was in the maze, and was there a way out through the maze made for a good ride.
Now, after they've escaped the maze we learn that WCKD is good, or is it? At the end of Part 1 we learned they were is some sort of an experiment and there was some species ending disaster that had to do with a virus that only the young were immune to. I wonder though, what the maze experiment had to do with discovering or enhancing the young's ability to resist the virus, there were medical tests for that. But alas, that was the 1st installment.
Now in The Scorch, they've escaped the maze and arrived (rescued?) at a WCKD facility, presumably to rest and recuperate. WRONG, they're to be milked of their life saving serum, much like a vampire milks it's prey.
They get wind of the WCKD's intentions and become obsessed with hooking up with the "Right Arm" which transfers young ones like themselves to greener pastures where they'll be safe. EENNKK, wrong bub, they are a rebel force bent on destroying WCKD.
Did I mention the ZOMBIES they encounter on the way to Oz? It appears that the species ending virus, before it kills the human population turns people into, well, run of the mill, plain old flesh eating ZOMBIES.
Bet you didn't see that one coming? Another, blind side, that I'm guessing you'll miss, UNLESS you're a complete MORON, the end leaves the door wide open to a 3rd installment. If #3 goes as far downhill from #2 as #2 was from #1, then I'm sure some slashers and possessed marionette dolls will be added for effect.
Sorry folks, I enjoyed the original, but this installment is a far cry from the inventiveness of THE MAZE and the mystery that it held in it's origins and of the runners that attempted to crack it's secrets!
BTW, WCKD is NOT GOOD, it appears to be just another government agency gone awry!
The original installment of Maze Runner was an interesting thriller / action movie. The suspense of where the boys came from, who put them there, what was in the maze, and was there a way out through the maze made for a good ride.
Now, after they've escaped the maze we learn that WCKD is good, or is it? At the end of Part 1 we learned they were is some sort of an experiment and there was some species ending disaster that had to do with a virus that only the young were immune to. I wonder though, what the maze experiment had to do with discovering or enhancing the young's ability to resist the virus, there were medical tests for that. But alas, that was the 1st installment.
Now in The Scorch, they've escaped the maze and arrived (rescued?) at a WCKD facility, presumably to rest and recuperate. WRONG, they're to be milked of their life saving serum, much like a vampire milks it's prey.
They get wind of the WCKD's intentions and become obsessed with hooking up with the "Right Arm" which transfers young ones like themselves to greener pastures where they'll be safe. EENNKK, wrong bub, they are a rebel force bent on destroying WCKD.
Did I mention the ZOMBIES they encounter on the way to Oz? It appears that the species ending virus, before it kills the human population turns people into, well, run of the mill, plain old flesh eating ZOMBIES.
Bet you didn't see that one coming? Another, blind side, that I'm guessing you'll miss, UNLESS you're a complete MORON, the end leaves the door wide open to a 3rd installment. If #3 goes as far downhill from #2 as #2 was from #1, then I'm sure some slashers and possessed marionette dolls will be added for effect.
Sorry folks, I enjoyed the original, but this installment is a far cry from the inventiveness of THE MAZE and the mystery that it held in it's origins and of the runners that attempted to crack it's secrets!
BTW, WCKD is NOT GOOD, it appears to be just another government agency gone awry!
American Heist
(2014)
Adria Brody has won an Oscar and now he's doing B movies?
13 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Adria Brody has won an Oscar and now he's doing B movies? If acting like a ghetto hood rat gangsta is Oscar worthy, then he's seriously off track. Violent, bloody, and F bombs dropped everywhere! Plot was pretty predictable and how do ghetto hood rat gangstas think they can take down a bank and get away with it? Sugar, the lead gangsta has all this political dialog, like a ghetto hood rat's going to know any of the things he's espousing!
Production quality is good, but the final shoot-out scene at the bank is wwaayy over the top in believability. Even if shot at first, the cops wouldn't engage in an all out gunfight with a bank full of hostages! And to top it off, the bad guys are dropping cops like in a carnival shooting gallery!
Even as a B movie a 3 rating is pretty kind. Definitely rent this when the wife or girl friend is indisposed and you're watching by yourself or with the guys.
Production quality is good, but the final shoot-out scene at the bank is wwaayy over the top in believability. Even if shot at first, the cops wouldn't engage in an all out gunfight with a bank full of hostages! And to top it off, the bad guys are dropping cops like in a carnival shooting gallery!
Even as a B movie a 3 rating is pretty kind. Definitely rent this when the wife or girl friend is indisposed and you're watching by yourself or with the guys.
Aloha
(I) (2015)
I have no idea what I just watched
30 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I have no idea what I just watched. It was so disjointed and random it made no sense. The story line, well, there was no single story line and the hodgepodge of back stories contributed nothing. Emma Stone, lily white, was supposed to be 1/4 Hawaiian and another 1/4 Asian, what a casting FIASCO. The Hawaiian lure added nothing to this sinking (stinking) ship either.
I can NOT think of a single reason for anyone to watch this movie other than the same reason I watched it, to see if it was as awful as it was portrayed to be, IT WAS! It's kind of like rubbernecking at an accident on the freeway, you shouldn't, but you must!
I can NOT think of a single reason for anyone to watch this movie other than the same reason I watched it, to see if it was as awful as it was portrayed to be, IT WAS! It's kind of like rubbernecking at an accident on the freeway, you shouldn't, but you must!
No Way Jose
(2015)
Drudgery in viewing the trudging acting
1 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Drudgery in viewing the trudging acting. My title is nearly as obtuse as this movie! Goldberg's character Jose, nee Joseph Stern is on the lamb from a teenage misstep. He's currently a no talent musician who's band can get no gigs other than children's parties, where he plays unorthodox music, especially for a children's party!
After his wife to be, Dusty, who is all about getting married, signs up for the PTA at the local school, to whit she is forward a sexual offender app. She installs it on her phone, instantly, their residence is covered with a red dot, indicating a sexual offender in residence.
As it turns out, Jose, was previously convicted for statutory rape when he was 18 for having sex with a 17 year old. Not surprisingly, Dusty is not amused he has kept that a secret and packs his bags. The rest of the movie is an amble through Jose's neurotic mind and dysfunctional life and relationships.
Sounds like potential, right? Unfortunately, it's nothing, but potential wasted. As I tagged along on his aimless journey, I was looking for a map on how to get out of this pointless rambling maze.
If you have nothing better to do and you've seen everything on Redbox, by all means, pass this up.
After his wife to be, Dusty, who is all about getting married, signs up for the PTA at the local school, to whit she is forward a sexual offender app. She installs it on her phone, instantly, their residence is covered with a red dot, indicating a sexual offender in residence.
As it turns out, Jose, was previously convicted for statutory rape when he was 18 for having sex with a 17 year old. Not surprisingly, Dusty is not amused he has kept that a secret and packs his bags. The rest of the movie is an amble through Jose's neurotic mind and dysfunctional life and relationships.
Sounds like potential, right? Unfortunately, it's nothing, but potential wasted. As I tagged along on his aimless journey, I was looking for a map on how to get out of this pointless rambling maze.
If you have nothing better to do and you've seen everything on Redbox, by all means, pass this up.
Trainwreck
(2015)
Is Amy Shumer supposed to be funny?
30 July 2015
Is Amy Schumer supposed to be funny? She IS sophomoric, juvenile, vulgar, and crass. Seems Schumer's character, "Amy", was only interested in the number of anonymous guys she could bed and how many times she could say the F word. At times it tried to be a romantic comedy other times it was just about how raw it could be and wandered aimlessly.
Schumer wrote this literal "Trainwreck", which was most appropriately named! My wife told me to quit looking at my watch, but all I could think about was the end of the movie and where I could eat afterwards. Maybe it would have been more palatable if I wasn't so hungry, even a large popcorn couldn't help! Bill Hader was the sole light in this very dark tunnel. LeBron needs some acting lessons, he was really stiff, as well as all of the other sports "cameos". Colin Quinn was OK, but he's never been one of my favorites. Vanessa Bayer played the good stooge, their male counterparts at S'nuff were just filler and added little. Swinton's character was just a cliché.
And John Cena, what the H, he and Schumer's sex scene seemed to just be there for the "R" rating, as if this would save this Trainwreck! I mean, a thing the size of a p-nut because of roids, really, would the slut Amy have put up with that? All around, a huge disappointment and waste of time.
Schumer wrote this literal "Trainwreck", which was most appropriately named! My wife told me to quit looking at my watch, but all I could think about was the end of the movie and where I could eat afterwards. Maybe it would have been more palatable if I wasn't so hungry, even a large popcorn couldn't help! Bill Hader was the sole light in this very dark tunnel. LeBron needs some acting lessons, he was really stiff, as well as all of the other sports "cameos". Colin Quinn was OK, but he's never been one of my favorites. Vanessa Bayer played the good stooge, their male counterparts at S'nuff were just filler and added little. Swinton's character was just a cliché.
And John Cena, what the H, he and Schumer's sex scene seemed to just be there for the "R" rating, as if this would save this Trainwreck! I mean, a thing the size of a p-nut because of roids, really, would the slut Amy have put up with that? All around, a huge disappointment and waste of time.
San Andreas
(2015)
Irwin Allen where are you?
17 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The B movie schlock that Hollywood used top turn out as horror movies. High dollar CGI, low budget story! I'm a movie aholic and see one practically every week. I rarely REALLY regret my choice, this was the exception. I is sssssoooo bad it is rather comical.
Suspension of Disbelief is NOT ENOUGH to "explain" MAY parts of this movie. From the opening scene rescue where the helicopter hovers ever so delicately between the trench wall, even when a 4,000# car falls into the abyss whilst attached to a cable on the copter's winch to the GAWD AWFUL scenes where they are in a RID boat tooling through the streets of a VERY DESTROYED San Fran with TONS of debris floating in the water and yet, the outboard prop remains in tact, to the BREATHTAKINGLY HORRIBLE submerged scenes in the same TOTALLY DESTROYED San Fran with CRYSTAL CLEAR water! These UNBELIEVABLE scenes are only exemplar of the ENTIRETY of PURE poo! I REALLY CAN'T believe I sat through the ENTIRE horrible movie!
Suspension of Disbelief is NOT ENOUGH to "explain" MAY parts of this movie. From the opening scene rescue where the helicopter hovers ever so delicately between the trench wall, even when a 4,000# car falls into the abyss whilst attached to a cable on the copter's winch to the GAWD AWFUL scenes where they are in a RID boat tooling through the streets of a VERY DESTROYED San Fran with TONS of debris floating in the water and yet, the outboard prop remains in tact, to the BREATHTAKINGLY HORRIBLE submerged scenes in the same TOTALLY DESTROYED San Fran with CRYSTAL CLEAR water! These UNBELIEVABLE scenes are only exemplar of the ENTIRETY of PURE poo! I REALLY CAN'T believe I sat through the ENTIRE horrible movie!
Locke
(2013)
Not a British Movie Fan - NOT my cup of tea
25 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not a big British movie fan, and this DEFINITELY isn't my cup of tea. How entertaining can it be to watch someone drive in a car for two hours and listen to their cell phone conversations.
Yes the fellow had an affair, yes the woman got pregnant, and of course she's goes into pre-mature labor.
Now to add further insult to his injury, he tells his wife, on the cell phone of course. He's got a bug day on the construction site, which he's going to blow off and tells his boss, you guessed, on the cell phone.
Not a well developed or likable character! Shallow as a tea cup! Maybe this guy should have stuck to the cell phone when he had his affair! ANYWAY, a VERY sssslllooowww movie. Don't waste you time, unless you're a glutton for punishment!
Yes the fellow had an affair, yes the woman got pregnant, and of course she's goes into pre-mature labor.
Now to add further insult to his injury, he tells his wife, on the cell phone of course. He's got a bug day on the construction site, which he's going to blow off and tells his boss, you guessed, on the cell phone.
Not a well developed or likable character! Shallow as a tea cup! Maybe this guy should have stuck to the cell phone when he had his affair! ANYWAY, a VERY sssslllooowww movie. Don't waste you time, unless you're a glutton for punishment!
Two and a Half Men
(2003–2015)
sex, debauchery, & filth USED to be funny
25 May 2014
Sex, debauchery, & filth USED to be funny, NOW, it;s just sex, debauchery, & filth for the sake of being sex, debauchery, & filth. The pre-Kutcher era had the sex, debauchery, & filth in context, as the ultimate result of Charlie Harper's philandering.
NOW, the focus is the sex, debauchery, & filth and the theme of the show, which isn't at all funny. Throw in the lost lesbian daughter of Charlie Harper and there is just more sex, debauchery, & filth.
Angus Jones, AKA Jake, was ABSOLUTELY correct in his criticisms of the show and was quite smart to leave! It has just become "filth" for the sake of being filthy. Sophomoric at best, just vulgar in reality! A GREAT show down the tubes, thankfully this is the last season.
This isn't Kutcher's fault, I'm sure. He started out strong, but the ratings started sliding and the produces decided the gutter was the place to go!
NOW, the focus is the sex, debauchery, & filth and the theme of the show, which isn't at all funny. Throw in the lost lesbian daughter of Charlie Harper and there is just more sex, debauchery, & filth.
Angus Jones, AKA Jake, was ABSOLUTELY correct in his criticisms of the show and was quite smart to leave! It has just become "filth" for the sake of being filthy. Sophomoric at best, just vulgar in reality! A GREAT show down the tubes, thankfully this is the last season.
This isn't Kutcher's fault, I'm sure. He started out strong, but the ratings started sliding and the produces decided the gutter was the place to go!
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