dafalias Reviews

The Mandalorian: Chapter 17: The Apostate (2023) Season 3, Episode 1

He is BACK!

[3/10 · 14 March 2023]

Finally he is back!

No, we are not talking about the Mandalorian, who is a woke, wimpy shadow of the once fierce and capable fighter.

No, we are not talking about Grogu, whose arc was finished but was obviously shoehorned back in because his stuffed dolls are the only Star Wars merchandise that is still selling after Kathleen Kennedy successfully wrecked one of the most profitable franchises in movie history.

We are talking about Pizza the Hut. I am not joking.

Din Djarin had a run in with "space pirates" that for some odd reason dress exactly like marine pirates from another Disney franchise on a planet in a galaxy far, far away, way, way in the future.

And their boss is nothing less than Pizza the Hut himself.

Possibly Jon Favreau put him in as a warning to us, that Kathleen the Franchise Killer has the upper hand again and that we are to expect an absurd, utterly stupid woke fest.

The utterly ridiculous fight against the sea monster that started this season is no good omen either.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 18: The Mines of Mandalore (2023) Season 3, Episode 2

We finally got rid of toxic masculinity

[3/10 · 10 March 2023]

Isn't it just the best feeling when Disney believes we are utterly stupid?

First of all the "I need this specific droid" is stupid, besides the fact that self destruct has blown it to pieces and now only his memory something is damaged and needs to be replaced. But anyway, it takes only 30 seconds to convince the Mandalorian that the broken junkyard droid from A New Hope will do as well.

Or just a device that measures air quality since the Helmet can be pressurized anyway and it's not like we have compact equipment that can accomplish this task in our own primitive technology.

However, for some reason the Mandalorian considers it his prime task to take a bath in the Ganges of Mandalore. When he arrives and is still stupid enough to take a toddler on a very dangerous hike on an unknown planet, he gets attacked by several creatures that he is barely able to fight off. Apparently he has forgotten that he is a Mandalorian with a vast arsenal of weaponry, he just pulls out the dark saber he is barely able to operate and also barely wins the fight.

Then he gets captured by some discount General Grievous and agains instead of tapping into the arsenal of his armor he sends Grogu to get Bo Katan because she is his mommy now and needs to rescue him.

Grogu hasn't been able to master speech in 50 years, but he can easily fly and navigate a space ship. He returns with Bo and she gets the Din out of his misery.

And since Din has obviously regressed into a toddler, he doesn't listen to mummy Katans warnings and steps too wide into the water, sinks several hundred meters and gets rescued by Bo AGAIN within seconds without his blood boiling over from the rapid decompression.

So we have one of the most capable fighters in the Star Wars Universe, who has won a battle against a Dark Trooper, suddenly lose all his skills because the force is female, I guess.

However, after destroying Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bail Organa, Boba Fett it seems that angry Kathleen is out again to destroy the last male Star Wars character with balls.

Why Bob Iger at the behest of the investors lets Kennedy ruin the last Star Wars installment that actually sells toys is beyond me.

A shame it is anyway.

I will give the show a last chance with chapter 19, if that one isn't titled "The Mandalorian finds his lost balls", then this is over for me.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Greatest American Hero revamped

[4/10 · 27 October 2022]

What was that??

It felt more than a big screen version of Greatest American Hero than a modern superhero movie. If you don't know this classic 80ies TV show, search for it on the internet. The plot in short: A loser gets handed a "supersuit" that makes him a superhero but he has a lot of troubles handling it. He especially sucks at flying.

Spider Man in this movie is just the same. There are way too many "whoaaaa"'s when he shoots his spider strings at moving objects and/or people and gets dragged off.

I do appreciate humor and characters taking themselves not too seriously - that's why I adore Roger Moores over the top James Bond - but this was just ridiculous.

When Peter rang the bell of his girl's door my wife said "and not the villain will open the door and he is her dad". And the villain opened the door and he was her dad.

As some others have stated, the plot device of the unaccompanied airplane with all the weapons of the Avengers is ludicrous.

The CGI did not convince me either. When Spiderman was in an action scene he was almost 100% CGI and you can tell. Why they still can't manage to have human characters move in a credible, natural way is beyond me. Even the hero in Impossible Mission on C-64 had more natural movements and that was 8bit.

2002's Spiderman with Tobey Maguire was way more convincing in action scenes.

The cuts were terrible, the action scenes far too hectic to even get what was going on.

As many others I don't get why he has to have a stupid version of Iron Mans suit.

On the plus side we have many fun scenes to have a good laugh and Michael Keaton, ironically the first big screen Batman, as main villain, brilliant and nuanced as always.

Alas even Michael Keaton can't save this ridiculous movie.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

What a waste

[3/10 · 2 June 2022]

Ewan McGregor has stated countless times that he is ready to play Obi-Wan again and he is as always a pleasure to watch.

But of course Disney had to emasculate him, make him weak and fragile so that strong, independent women, except those who are really strong and really independent and have an opinion of their own, no, we have to fire those, can save him gracefully.

I give it 3 stars for the effects that are very high quality for a TV show, the acting and for making an effort to create a new, interesting villain and to recreate Lea as a child.

As of Episode 3 Reva seems to be a multidimensional, complex character and unlike many other commentators I really like Moses Ingrams performance. She is very present, the camera loves her. I find her very believable in a clearly torn character - and that is where the trouble starts.

Will Reva catch one of the greatest war heroes and Jedi masters, but turn to the good side at last and save his butt by sacrificing herself in the last episode, , creating yet another Darth Vader ripoff like Kylo Ren was?

Just an example of how ridiculous the script is: "Ben" and Lea hitchhike on a rusty old elevating truck that squeals when it stops as if it had wheels and drum brakes.

Then the truck driver picks up a bunch of storm troopers who state that they are looking for Obi Wan. Obviously the Empire is too stupid to hand out pictures for their soldiers to know what the person they are searching actually looks like.

To sum up: Disney deconstructed yet another beloved, straight white male character.

But you messed up last time, Disney. Temuera Morrison is not white. This cost you a lot of woke virtue signalling points.

United States of Al (2021–2022)

Absolute gem

[8/10 · 9 February 2022]

Funny how many people here are complaining that the actor the Afghan producer picked is not "Afghan enough". They seem not understand the concept of acting. Guess what? Leonard Nimoy wasn't really half Vulcan and now the shocker: Michael Dorn is really a human, not a Klingon.

I am Greek, Bronson Pinchot is not. At all. But I liked "Perfect Strangers" and I think he was cast well because he is funny!

However they manage to get light hearted humor out of cultural and even religious differences without getting preachy or offensive.

The characters are credible, flawed and likable.

The concept borrows a little from "Perfect Strangers" but the twist with the war veteran is new and in my opinion handled very well.

Babylon 5 (1993–1998)

10 reasons to watch Babylon 5

[10/10 · 10 June 2006]

1. The story It is probably the biggest, most complex story that was put on film so far - well over 60 hours of good TV. This had been tried never before and makes shows like Lost or Battlestar Galactica successful today.

2. It is non boring Besides elements of Season 4 being built up as early as Season 1, even in small details, the storyline has a lot of interesting twists, that makes you yearn for more and stay interested even over the course of five years. But nowadays you don't have to. You can get the box set and have yourself been swallowed up in a matter of weeks.

3. The casting Casting was done very thoroughly, obviously; as every character had been designed in detail long time before casting, including all changes and developments, actors could be found that filled these roles perfectly. And they were. For example, Richard Biggs was the most ethic and believable TV doctor I have ever seen.

4. The acting The characters Londo Mollari and G'Kar seem to be the most popular, they are also filled by outstanding actors, but all the others, including guest roles were no less than great. Stephen Furst is a brilliant comedian and Bruce Boxleitner is just a joy to watch, he is so 100% in every scene.

5. The music Only two words: Christopher Franke. The score of B5 has the magnitude and the quality of a movie score and adds to the scope of the show greatly. Look out for a Special on Season 4 Box set called "No Surrender, No Retreat Suite". First watch Season 4. Then listen to the suite WITHOUT the pictures. And at last, enjoy the music with the pictures. You will conclude that the music itself captures all emotions of Season 4, the combination with the pictures just makes it a masterpiece.

6. The special effects Babylon 5 was a "poor show" as JMS put it. They had nowhere near the budget of a Star Trek series. But still its scope was intended to be big, with space battles unseen on TV to this point. Although most of the ground shots did not work, as a lot of virtual sets, the space scenes reached a remarkable level of perfection by the end of the series, and the battles were big indeed, with very interesting angles and camera movements only doable by cgi. Another aspect that B5 pioneered in.

7. The character development SciFi is not stupid. It is not about blowing up spaceships with laser guns either. Well, sometimes it is. But not B5. It is a character driven show with most interesting development to each character. They all developed, but still were truthful to themselves. Time is taken to explore each single character in detail and entertaining it is.

8. The humor There was Stephen Furst of course, who literally can turn any line into an enjoyable piece of comedy, but there were other actors with great comedic skills as well, Claudia Christian, Bruce Boxleitner, Patricia Tallman, Peter Jurasik to name a few. Although the story line was very exciting, the element of humor was never forgotten; this made Star Trek TOS successful and it definitely did not hurt B5.

9. The philosophy J. Michael Straczynski has said that his intention was never to make a moral or philosophical statement, but just to tell a story. But as the story involves a lot of these elements, at least it makes you think. And, although being a declared atheist, JMS handles things like religion or prophesy extremely respectfully and he gave the best summary of the essence of Christianity in the episode "Passing Through Getsemane" I have ever heard, equally brilliantly delivered by Oscar Nominee Brad Dourif.

10. The harmony of the complete work of art I believe that there are three classic types of art: Picture - painting, its 3D-representation sculpture and photography Music Literature, written and its physical representation acting.

Film puts all of them together, makes the pictures move and includes many more like effects, stage and crop design, costume design, camera, editing and makeup. I consider film the most complete work of art because it HAS to be the team work of a number of distinct artists. If each and every one of them is great, then the whole is great. And I think B5 is just that, besides or maybe because of the extremely tight budget they had. For example, when B5 went to TNT for Season 5 the actors suffered serious cutbacks in salary. Bruce Boxleitner no doubt had plenty of offers in his drawers, but nonetheless he stayed and finished the work. So did almost all the others, and I think You can tell this kind of attitude in the show.

Misfits of Science (1985–1986)

Mutant X, go home!

[3 January 2006]

I remember to really have enjoyed this show as a kid. It had nice 80ies-TV-Action,suspense and characters you could relate to in contrast to Mutant X, that had only pretty people. Courteney Cox's intense performance was especially memorable. Her character Gloria was probably the most powerful of all the mutants, yet always sad. And man, was she beautiful! She was the main reason why I started watching Friends - resulting in owning 10 Seasons of DVDs ... I can't understand why they don't bring it out on DVD though - so much crap is released on DVD, but good shows like Misfits aren't. So, people, please, please release Misfits on DVD. I'll buy. I promise.

Brigham City (2001)

Wow!

[10/10 · 27 December 2005]

When I read that the director casted himself in the lead, I thought, "well, boy, it seems the only way for you to get a role". I couldn't be more mistaken.

Script: Richard Dutcher - brilliant

Directing: Richard Dutcher - brilliant

Lead: Richard Dutcher - brilliant

Although the atmosphere of the movie is somewhat depressing, something I am usually not looking for, I was nothing but impressed.

Brigham City is a character driven thriller with nice twists and takes a very close look at religiously fundamentalist small town life in the U.S. Bottom line is, no matter how much you try to shield your whole-world-community from the hazards of the "outside world", you can't. The script has some nice twists and stays suspenseful until the murderer is finally discovered, but the real plot revolves around the sheriff and his world being turned upside down.

Unfortunately we have experienced something terrible and unexpected in our community, too, and it takes in fact some time until you are able to admit the truth - you just think you are in the wrong movie.

Dutcher takes you on an emotional ride with the sheriff to exactly that point.

Johnny Lingo (1969)

So bad that it is brilliant

[10/10 · 27 December 2005]

Of course the story of Johnny Lingo is one of the classics for Mormon children; the message it conveys is true and probably much more important today than it was at the time it was made. What makes it really watchable though, are the performances. Not their quality, but on the contrary, the lack thereof. The acting is so stiff and inept that You will laugh tears. I don't think, that Johnny Lingo was intented as funny as it comes out, but it is always worth watching. Beside trying to convey the message, that beauty is relative, inner beauty is that counts and that every one needs someone to believe in him to reach his full potential, there is no reference to the Mormon church or Mormon beliefs at all.

The Home Teachers (2004)

For non-Mormons, that one is

[9/10 · 27 December 2005]

Like all HaleStorm productions Home Teachers is a satirical, sometimes cynical view on Mormon life, but unlike "Singles Ward" and "The R.M." You do not have to know too much about the Mormon culture to find this movie funny. There is a lot of Chris-Farley-like screaming total destruction of things, slapstick humor as well as two great stand-up comedians in the leads, complementing each other perfectly. The standup quality of the two leads can best be seen in the outtakes on the DVD, where Jeff Birk especially does some bits that are totally out of his character, deliberately ruined the take, but are a lot of fun to watch now. So if You want a humorous look at the Mormon culture, or just watch a clean, stupid comedy, go for this movie. If You want a more serious approach and/or a brilliant thriller, go for Brigham City.

The R.M. (2003)

Good but not great

[8/10 · 27 December 2005]

A review here compares this movie to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Being a Greek Mormon myself, I concur to a certain degree. The performances were good, Kirby Heyborne's facial expressions and reactions really carry the movie, Will Swenson more or less reprises his role from Single's Ward and Britani Bateman perfectly balances Mormon moral principles, in every sense, and being plain hot. The first half of the movie more than anything I felt sorry for the poor guy, although there were some good laughs, too. Most of the humor though is based on Mormon stereotypes - if You are not acquainted with that, I am afraid You will not get much out of this flick. I think that there is a message for Mormons, that righteousness always pays off, even it does not look like this at all, in the end you will ride with the hot general authorities daughter towards sunset; the message for non-Mormons IMHO is, "Mormons are an odd people, but they can laugh at themselves"

King Kong (2005)

8.3 rating on IMDb? How?

[1/10 · 17 December 2005]

-- CAUTION King-Kong-sized spoilers ahead ---

The Lord of The Ring trilogy being a true masterpiece, one could expect Peter Jackson to remake this classic with state-of-the-art SFX, well defined characters brought to life by well cast, capable actors and a fast, modern adaptation of the original story.

One couldn't be more wrong.

1. The film is way to long. Unlike any of the three LOTR movies, there is just not enough storyline to support a runtime of over three hours.

2. Too much "let's Tolkienize the King Kong story". Our heroes, who we could not care less about, despite the one-hour-introduction, stumble from one bizarre danger into the next.

3. The island looks like a mixture of Minas Tirith and Mount Doom. Every stupid rock is a creepy sculpture of either an ape or a scull. Who is supposed to have made all these artworks? The primitives living on the island? Come on!

4. The natives look like rejects from the Orc army, and they behave like that.

5. Too many unresolved questions. Despite being so long, neither the origin of Carl's map nor the fate of the "wild kid" nor the whereabout of the creepy natives after the ship's crew shoot around a little. How did they get Kong on the ship?

6. The only thing as dense as the storyline in the LOTR trilogy is the presence of plot holes. How large is the crew of this tiny freighter? How can a petite woman like Naomi Watts ever survive being held in Kongs hand while fighting three T-Rex or running at about 50 mp/h through a dense jungle? Why doesn't Kong bleed at all after being bitten by T-Rex's on his arm to the bone several times? Why did Ann and Jack split up after having arrived in New York? It goes on and on ...

7. Bad CGI. Aside from the ape himself, it looks often times just like an X-Box 360 game.

8. Our "heroes" resolving impossible situations like thousands of creepy giant insects or scull lusting natives by the captain and his endless supply of men showing up at the last second shooting around a bit.

9. Jimmy not being able to hold the MP steady shooting insects off Jack without hitting him at all.

10. Too much time on the island, too many never ending actions scenes (I never imagined I could get bored during an action scene), too little time to resolve. After Kong is captured, it is cut to New York, obviously months later. What happened in between? What happened to the captain and the remainder of his crew? Who cares?

11. The best dialog of the whole movie was between Kong and Ann:

Kong: Groaaaar!

Ann: Iiiiiiiiiii!

Kong: Groaaaaar!

Ann: Iiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Kong: Groooaaaaaar!

and so on ...

12. The producers thinking the audience to have an I.Q. below 50. Too cheesy scenes between the ape and the girl saying "they like each other", "really!","i'm serious!", Carl repeating his plot line "beauty killed the beast" so that the most stupid viewer gets the clue "oh, the movie WAS intended to make sense".

There are a few things I liked however, but they are not nearly enough to save the movie.

1. Jack Black gave a surprisingly serious performance, not caricaturing the character at all.

2. Kyle Chandler however did exactly that, very entertaining and very memorable.

3. Naomi Watts was very credible as her character, very beautiful and endearing and obviously had developed a very tender relationship with the blue screen, which is always admirable.

4. Andy Serkis & the Weta animation people did an equally marvelous job on Kong as they did on Gollum.

5. The fight between Judo Kong and the three Tyrannosauri Rex was awesome!

But still only 1 out of 10, because I am angry that they had me pay 10 Euros and then shamelessly waste my time. I just wish I had seen it on DVD, finger always on fast forward and skip buttons.

Joey (2004–2006)

Getting better each week

[15 January 2005]

After the pilot I was disappointed. No more Friends magic, just a standard comedy show with highly predictable standard jokes. But from third episode on the show really improved and now I am just as addicted to it as to Friends (which just can't get boring, no matter how often seen). Gina is softening up a bit, Michael has picked up some sarcasm. Jennifer Coolidge is always a joy to watch and Andrea Anders is just sweet and very funny. For me especially the episodes David Schwimmer directed totally bring the friends feeling. Guest star Lucy Liu as neurotic producer is brilliant, her having to knock when Joey knocked cracked me up. I hope it lasts!