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Reviews
Boy Swallows Universe (2024)
Ruined potential
To me it's a wasted chance to make something really cool. The show has 7 episodes and the first 5 of them are just brilliant! Everybody did a great job and Felix Cameron as the 12-year-old Eli was just out of this world! The story was cool, the characters were damn authentic and I just couldn't help myself diving into all this without looking back. However, the last two episodes - in my opinion - ruined everything. Seemed like they were made by other people, way less professional, and way less interested in the end product... Suddenly turning a believable criminal story with minor fantasy elements into a freaking cheap superhero movie... it's weak, it's just so weak. I can't believe the team didn't see how wrong the ending was. It's like an ending taken from another show... Anyway, I'd give 8/10 to the first 5 episodes and 2/10 to the last two episodes. Meh.
The Breakfast Club (1985)
A fairy tale on how good everybody around you are
Probably, it would be much better if I watched this movie when I was 15 years old or something. Even back then I wouldn't become a fan though. I like the actors but... Srsly, "The Breakfast Club" wants to open our eyes so we could see the huge problems all teenagers have. And I don't wanna say these problems aren't true. They are. But I can't imagine someone in my school telling the others about her/his issues with parents or school in general, especially in such profound "adult" speeches.
I don't think the film makers knew anything about the real life of teenagers, let alone how they talk and behave. They made kids talk like adults and act like adults. School kids confessing about how they hate their life and crying?? I imagine what would it be if someone in my school opened up like that. The bulling season would be opened immediately and it wouldn't stop until the graduation night. It would be a suicide for anyone to start telling everyone in the school about private life, fears, dreams, etc. And crying before the school mates? That would be equal to writing "Kill me" on your own forehead.
So, it's all nice and stuff but to me it was a sparkling fairy tale with rainbows and unicorns. I do realize it's how the 80s used to work but it's cringeworthy to watch the movies like this now.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Who needed this?
Very boring. Very unoriginal. You can watch the first two episodes and already know the story they're about to tell you. The characters have zero charisma and zero identity. Zero motivation too. It's always like you see them many times and still wonder who are they and why they're here at all. Everybody is so generic... Maybe Matt Smith as the prince Daemon Targaryen is a bit better than everybody here but he doesn't really have anything to play here.
Overall, very uninspired acting, especially by. Milly Alcock who literally has one face expression for all life situations.
Even though the show is clearly weak, the designers did their work just great. Locations, costumes and finally dragons look amazing. If only they had a story... but, unfortunately, it's exactly what they don't have. Especially comparing to the original "Game Of Thrones" show.
Ozark: A Hard Way to Go (2022)
Nothing, just nothing
Many shows come to that point when you've got the money for the final season but you just don't have anything to fill it with. This is the case here, big time. The whole season was meaningless and the ending was really poor. Who said "Ozark" was better than "Breaking Bad"? You better think twice.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
So bad it's worst
It's basically the story from the good movie "The Woman in the Window" re-written to be unbelievably, pathetically bad. Terrible acting and an extremely poor script written by a bored Chihuahua.
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
Shoot me but...
...this is exactly how "Firefly" should have looked like! The characters, the dialogues, the music, the overall camera work, the whole dynamics behind it - this is how "Firefly" of the XXI century should have looked like. Exactly!
I LOVE THE SHOW!
The Harder They Fall (2021)
Not a western movie
Basically, it's a circus show with dumb jokes, poor acting, dialogues straight from a kindergarten nearby and "I have no talent but I wanna be Tarantino so much!!!" yelling out loud from every scene.
On one hand, this movie doesn't really try to be authentic but on the other hand it's so fake that it hurts. In some scenes I was ready for the whole cast to start suddenly dancing and singing just to make it more absurd.
I thought Idris Elba has always been a serious actor but I only see him in the roles like this one recently. What a waste...
Blood Red Sky (2021)
So much lost potential
The trailer and the first 20 minutes were quite promising, but then you just get a set of boring clichés... Very bad-written ones. At first you might hope it would be something influenced by John Ajvide Lindqvist, maybe a good sad story, but... yeah, probably it's too much to ask.
Without any spoilers: watch the first 10 minutes of the movie and guess how it would end in a world with no original ideas allowed. Done? There's a good chance you know how the movie ends now.
Oh! And it has literally the most annoying and bad-acting little kid I've seen! By far.
Aquaman (2018)
Speechless
When I got home from the cinema I was 101% sure I would find here only negative reviews and then I saw people actually loved it enough to give it 10/10... Seriously I don't understand this. "Aquaman" is so bad that it was actually kind of good... I mean it has no screenplay, absolutely no acting, no structure - nothing. But at the same time for some reason I can't say it was boring to watch. It was a plain circus, just a ridiculous show, a performance full of booms and baams...
In the beginning there was a Russian submarine hijacked by pirates... Aquaman swam around while wearing his usual rock'n'roll jeans and boots, decided to help the Russians, killed all the pirates (without forgetting to pose heroically in between), pushed the submarine from the ocean to the surface (in reality that would kill everybody in the submarine) and the submariner were like "It's Aquaman! Hooray! You saved us!". So... after such an amazing start you just relax, let your sarcasm loose and try to enjoy this crappy ass show.
This movie reminded me of the first "Capitan America". Dumb, "serious" (the characters try to copy Marvel heroes and joke, but without any success) and all story just falls apart. I'm really sorry for Nicole Kidman,Willem Dafoe and of course Patrick Wilson. They are great actors and now they have to be a part of this... Though it looks like this movie is an absolute top for Jason Momoa. He doesn't look like a real actor, though I seriously believed the director would surely use his natural charisma. He didn't. Literally anybody could play Aquaman in this movie. The role is so dumb and empty you could put anybody in those "ocean king of Vegas" clothes. And yeah, I'm afraid they will make the second part, but I'm sure as hell won't give a cent to watch it.
Poslednyaya skazka Rity (2012)
The storyline is a joke
The official story on this page made me laugh... Who the hell has written this??!
"Tanya Neubivko has never been in love but optimistically is searing for it." WHAT??? She's Death for god's sake! Have you watched the movie at all?
"Her unfortunate and even dangerous encounters with strangers on dates almost got her killed." WHAT again? I believe it was written about some other movie.
"Rita is happily engaged and planning a wedding after a routine medical check-up." WH... oh c'mon... she's diagnosed to die in a couple of weeks, why is she so happy?
"Nadya is a very unhappy doctor who hates her husband and finds relief in alcohol." .... her husband? She's not married.
"The story takes place in a surreal hospital with the leaking roof and hollow walls and constantly smoking doctors" May be it's "surreal" for USA, but it's a common municipal hospital for Russia or Ukraine. The only surreal thing was windows blocked with the bricks, but I'm sure there are lots of hospitals in the small Russian tows where you can see this too.
P.S The movie is a masterpiece. Watch it if you liked Renata Litvinova's other movie called "Boginya: kak ya polyubila". They have a lot in common.