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Reviews
Stranded (2013)
Low budget Prometheus here
Well...this is what happens when you probably spent 70% of your project's low budget to a B class star like Christian Slater: you ensure some traces of fame, but then you no longer have enough money for an average script writer and some decent visual effects. And your problem becomes bigger when the movie you want to make is a sci-fi horror movie. Because sci-fi horror movies without script and visual effects is like spaghetti carbonara without the spaghetti.
The producers of this film are decent, I give them that, they prepare the audience for a forthcoming C-movie experience from the very first minutes with that amateurish, almost funny "meteor storm" scene which proudly brings in mind those old visual effects from the 70's. Even "Space 1999" with its Alpha moon-base had more decent effects than this trash that certainly makes "Event Horizon" look watchable.
Acting is bad, bad, bad, almost funny, all actors should repeat their acting courses (if any) again, and maybe some of them should reconsider their future in acting, including Slater.
Oh, I almost forgot the "script". Actually there's no script, unless you call script some lame lines at which the actors repeat the word "Jesus" every 5 minutes like college students in a Fun Park. Prometheus scriptwriters you must feel unburdened - someone else wrote a more stupid script for a sci-fi movie than you did.
Borrowing some lines form the plot synopsis, I would say that watching this film leads to paranoia, fear and death...by laugh and pure Boredom.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
The Amazing Twilight
* * No Spoilers - Although I'd love to spoil it so you may not see it and earn your beautiful money * *
Oh My God...what was that?
OK, we gotit Hollywood. It's final. No more adult super-heroes (except batman,and some x-men maybe), no more serious plots, no more sci-fi movies to entertain people over 18-20 years old. Age groups below 18 prevail and the sooner we admit it, the less money we will spend in fancy Twilight-ish garbages like this.
There must be something like a disease upon all producers - script writers - directors. The "Money from Nothing" syndrome. Since there isn't any new idea for a sci-fi blockbuster around, what they do? They remake the remakes of the remakes. And they call it "Reboot".
And now they do it the "Twilight" way.
For those (is there any?) who don't know, Twilight is an updated Beverly Hills 90210 spoof for little children and early teenagers, where vampires look pretty, beautiful and amazing, clean and shiny, to the extend that make you wanna be a vampire instead of a human. Oh, and they dress like top models.
- After "rebooting" (= making money by "executing" the original idea) Star Wars (Phantom Money - sorry George, Menace, and the other two parodies), Star Trek (you know, that one with that coxcomb spoiled boy pretending to be Kirk),and Alien (quiz: is there anyone who remembers anything from script-less Poop-etheus?), - after shamelessly destroying comic heroes like the Avengers (Cowboys-like superheroes running here & there for actually no reason), Captain - baby-face - America, Thor (yes, that wrestling figure pretending to be ancient God)and numerous others, twilight-spidey had to be next, only 10 years after his previous (and absolutely better) remake.
Either sci-fi show-biz is now run by teenagers, either is run by dotard old idiots with Alzheimer's. There can't be any other explanation for this unbelievable mess.
Helloooooo producers and filmmakers, I have news for you: in case you haven't noticed, old sci-fi products like Star Trek, Star Wars, Alien(s), 2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, even Matrix etc are STILL best sellers on DVD/BR, and people still go to theaters to watch any new (3D,etc) version. And YOU KNOW WHY? It's not just the new ideas or scripts, or their director's talent....it's because even if they weren't, THEY WERE LOOKING serious! They had P-L-O-T-S, and they were addressing adult people as well.
And in case you forget, they brought MONEY, lot of MONEY to whoever invested on them, if this is more convincing for you!! But I guess you know. But you don't care. If you can make money out of "Amazing" garbages like this, why bother to make a good movie? It's like they've decided that, regarding sci-fi cinema, the only valuable target group are only kids. What about the others? Well, they can buy comics or watch older sci-fi movies at home. Period.
The Myth: As we grow older, is getting more and more difficult for us to "buy" sci-fi, so we become more critic and suspicious.
The Truth behind the Myth: As we grow older, it's getting easier for us to recognize pure, money oriented garbage from honest inspirational sci-fi attempts.
Advice: If you really want to watch "The Amazing Spiderman", be smart and go buy a comic instead of throwing your money for this cheap silly nonsense.
Unless of course if you are 8 years old.
Prometheus (2012)
A typical, uninspired prequel, a lost opportunity to make history, but at he same time a great chance for.....
There isn't much to say about this movie, since almost everything has been already written in many previous (some of them absolutely hilarious) reviews.
But nevertheless, it certainly does not worth any rating above 5.
...7.2??? For this?? While "Alien" and "Aliens" are rated with 8.5 each??? Come on people.. rate with your mind, not by your heart....people lose time and money here, so let's all be honest to them! This movie lacks script, lacks inspiration, lacks common scientific sense, lacks normal human behavior development, lacks actors, lacks all those qualitative characteristics that Alien's Universe had in plenty and, long time ago, in some theaters far far away, grabbed our minds..
This movie has plenty of excellent cgi with some of Ridley Scott's unique ambiance, but these of course aren't enough to make a good movie.
What a great example of losing chance to actually make history! But this movie (like others) certainly provides to the moderators of IMDb a great opportunity. And that is to categorize ratings by large age groups (eg up to 25 y.o. and over 25 y.o. or something like that).
In this way, someone would have a more objective look on the critics expressed here, and on the other hand, rating would certainly be more representative..
I see ratings of 8 and 9 stars for this "masterpiece"...I guess these same reviewers must have rated "Alien" or "Aliens" with 15 stars or even 20...otherwise there is a huge gap in sense of measure here, isn't it?
I strongly recommend to anyone who wants to watch this film, to watch it at home. He will certainly earn money, and if he is lucky, he might fall asleep on his sofa before he sees a rolling spaceship chasing people.
Knowing (2009)
Tom Cruise's tears - and a planet full of bunnies
If the Gothic aliens at the end wanted to transfer to that new planet some decent scriptwriters for the continuity of good filmography,it is obvious that their ship would reach that planet with no passengers on it - perhaps only bunnies.
The movie actually starts very promising,but soon runs out of fuel: lots of scenes add nothing to the story, but are there only to fill in the movie and to attract audience (e.g. the long subway scene adds nothing - except pure "entertainment" for cgi lovers), the characters are superficial and sometimes annoying (MIT cosmologists and astrophysicists must be very angry if not insulted in case they watch this movie), and an underlying religiοus symbolism (creativism + Scientology oriented propaganda - that "tree of knowledge" at the end is almost funny) for little children, like those who are finally saved and driven to their new playground - planet.
Conclusion: Knowing is a bad movie with a good idea, developed in an uninspired and sometimes procedural way. When Tom Cruise watches this film will cry for losing the leading role - and of course for those poor little children that will have to live on a planet full of bunnies.