stevelovell Reviews

Reacher (2022– )

Very low grade television.

[4/10 · 5 March 2024]

I've no idea about the books but within minutes of the show starting it seemed really quite poor in so many ways. Egregious yellow filter. Two-dimensional small town cops, unlikely hot and sassy young female cop, racially diverse good looking smart detective boss who constantly looks like he has a makeup lady constantky ready to powder his face. He's dressed up like it's not a hot environment and not excusing so much ias a bead of sweat. Weird open plan barred police cell. Super-astute psychoanalytic super-sleuth, one-man army main character. Nevermind how physically tough, crime-solving and musclebound he is. Straight to county jail for a day for some reason. Meathead sexual predator convicts. What's the budget for this? Bad writing, poor lighting, wooden acting. Who is it for, teenagers? It's absolutely garbage. I really enjoy seeing bad guys get their comeuppance but this was all far too contrived and paint-by-numbers nonsense. I am annoyed that this is so bad. Do I have to hate-watch this now to see if it continues to be dreadful? I've barely even scratched the surface with how shabby this show is.

Ugh!

Spaceman (I) (2024)

Another grand outer space setting for a very tiny inner space story.

[6/10 · 3 March 2024]

I thought this would be good as so much effort was put into fantastic sets and effects. Unfortunately it's all basically to facilitate a tedious interpersonal relationship and almost-redemption story with a bit of pseudo-philosophical nonsense sci-fi thrown in. And it follows the time honoured tradition of giving friendly aliens human like iris/pupil eyes so we can relate to them. Although the director was responsible for the magnificent TV series Chernobyl, this is nowhere in the same league. So many writers seem very confined by such similar narratives and these stories keep getting told.

Adam Sandler gave a good performance but I felt really quite disappointed.

The Last Bus (2021)

Not at all well written, and quite annoying.

[3/10 · 13 December 2023]

Contrary to other reviews, I found this to be overly cheap, lazy, predictable, unbelievable, and unrealistic. I felt that it was poorly written and cliché ridden. There was way too much ropey dialogue and unnecessarily two dimensional characters throughout. Some modern diversity tropes were a bit too obvious and overdone. It was filmed entirely in Scotland for budgetary reasons and it never convinced me it was England, where most of the film was meant to be based. I honestly expected better from Timothy Spall, who usually does much better films. All of this made it quite dull to the point of actually being annoying.

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Good xenomorphs. Bad story. Nowhere near as bad as Prometheus and Covenant.

[7/10 · 4 November 2023]

After 19 years, I've just rewatched AvP.

Yes, it's got a rubbish nonsensical story.

Yes, it's got bad dialogue.

No, it's no longer canon.

But you know what? It's actually not that bad. It's got some wonderful xenomorph scenes in all their life cycle guises. The Queen is always a welcome sight and she gets some good screen time.

I would take 10 films like AvP over a single Ridley Scott pretentious pseudo-philosophical brainfart film like Prometheus or Covenant.

I really hope the next time I write an alien film review, I don't want the director to suffer an immediate chestburster. The Alien (not AvP) franchise deserves to thrive.

The Creator (2023)

Stunningly beautiful film, with some flaws most people wouldn't care about.

[8/10 · 27 September 2023]

I actually expected a cerebral intelligent possible future that didn't defy laws of physics, with difficult moral questions. There were hints at that, but The Creator was full of clichés, tropes and nonsense.

* but *

It was beautiful, amazing and still brilliant.

I felt many aspects of films like Chappie. Star Wars: Rogue One. (unsurprising as it was the same director), Blade Runner. Elysium. Platoon.

The sets and production design were outstanding and I would love nothing more than to visit something like this being made because although a lot though I know a lot is digital, there's a tonne real things they made too.

I didn't quite get what I'd hoped for but the visuals were splendid enough for me to give a good solid 8.

Blonde (2022)

A good film is you accept it's fictional.

[8/10 · 14 October 2022]

I don't have a real problem with any part of this being inaccurate. It needn't be truthful. I understand that so many Marilyn Monroe fans are butt-hurt over it portraying her as a constant victim and the film being relentlessly depressing. Perhaps this represents how she felt. Perhaps it's representative of the exploitative and abusive relationships she had with people, situations and substances. I don't really care. It was saddening and engaging for me. Ana de Armas did a thoroughly amazing job in so many ways. The film was stylish enough to just take it at face value for the sort of horror film it was even if you detach the real life person from this story.

For how well the film was made, it is perhaps slightly unfortunate that so much of it was complete fictional fabrication though.

The Northman (2022)

Actually quite bad. Nowhere near as good as many reviewers here would have you believe.

[3/10 · 20 April 2022]

I've only ever walked out of one film in the cinema. It wasn't this one, but I got close several times. It's absolute nonsense and people are rating it as if it's some sort of amazing historical cinematic story. There's way too much to pull apart here. It wavered too much into fantasy, exaggerated rituals and dream sequences and visions. Not to mention blatant magic and supernatural capabilities on the part of several characters.

So much of it made no sense and it was just relentlessly bleak, violent and unbelievable. And so many of the slave characters just seemed to be alright with it.

This film made me bored and angry, and reading the glowing reviews here gives me no hope.

I'd love to see a great realistic Viking film, but with The Northman I might just as well have watched Game of Thrones for how believable it was. And I hate GoT too.

Operation Mincemeat (2021)

Operation "everyone likes Kelly Macdonald"

[7/10 · 5 April 2022]

It was enjoyable enough but I really wanted to enjoy this more than I did.

It seemed to unnecessarily labour several male characters fancying Kelly Macdonald's character. All the time taken up on this tiresome sub-plot would have been better spent on some of the main story. Also, a triple-agent character giving a hand job to someone just seemed unlikely and out of place.

One of several nods to James Bond was an unfeasibly high-powered buzzsaw watch as a throwaway gag (because of Ian Fleming being a character) was corny and distracting.

I somehow expected it would be more engaging, gritty and revealing than the 1956 film, but it seemed pretty typical and formulaic like many modern British WWII themed films with foiled wartime romances crow-barred in.

There are some great actors in the film but some of them seem to be overused in other similar roles the same era. It even seemed a little like a mini "Death of Stalin" reunion for Jason Isaacs and Simon Russell Beale.

Perhaps I'm being too unkind to the film, but I was looking forward to it and fell a little short of expectations.

Clarice (2021)

Please, Silence the Shams

[4/10 · 20 January 2022]

There seems to be no point to this show whatsoever. Like others have said, if you don't have the rights to even mention Hannibal Lecter, then maybe don't bother.

There may be an overarching plot, but it seems to be mostly just a rushed formulaic "villain/crime of the week" affair for filler.

I'm giving up three episodes in. Literally the most interesting part of Silence of the Lambs is absent.

It may not be important to how worthy it is, but it also never felt like it was a good representation of the 1990s either.

"Hannibal" was WAAAY better than this.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Ghostbusters Afterlife is complete garbage.

[3/10 · 24 November 2021]

Just another in a long line of irritating films where kids save the world and have skills and behaviours well beyond their years and credulity. (Even in this case with a fictional world with ghosts that for the most part aren't ghosts.) It's almost as if film makers think that minors won't appreciate a film unless it features genius characters their age. And it's not just because I'm older now. Even when I was a kid, seeing kids in films with abilities and mannerisms even beyond gifted adults rankled with me. Severely disappointing and the crow-barred cameos weren't worth it at all.

Brakes (I) (2016)

A good film. Don't trust a small number of poor reviews.

[9/10 · 25 July 2020]

I barely ever write a review, but I risked seeing this film after seeing such dire reviews and scores in IMDb, and felt that it had been very unfairly treated. I really thought these vignettes felt real and believable for the most part. I suspect that some reviewers were expecting some sort of off-the-wall comedy based on who was in it. With the exception of Julia Davis's typically brilliant comedic performance (in a section that had a distinct and overt comedic Davis-ion tone), none of the other few comedic actors need have had such a background. It was well-observed, very well-acted and it resonated with me, even if I couldn't personally relate to all of the scenarios. There wasn't anything I disliked about this film, and even the poorly filmed parts were that way for a reason. And seeing part 2 first felt perfectly right too. After having watched it, I was glad I did, and I understood why it had been nominated for an award. Rotten Tomatoes had a much fairer aggregate score of 75%. It really goes to show that IMDb scores should be taken with a pinch of salt sometimes.

Ad Astra (2019)

A series of unfortunate space-related events

[7/10 · 19 September 2019]

Ad Astra had its moments but it was underwhelming and a bit light on hard science. The low/no gravity seemed to be poorly and inconsistently portrayed. It definitely seemed like it was trying to be more meaningful and worthy than I think it was. And it had typical tropes that seemed lazy and unnecessary. I enjoyed it enough and the sets, costumes and props were quite wonderful of course but it was ultimately quite forgettable and nonsensical.I'm sure it was trying to say something about the mental journey of the main character rather than his space-faring one, but I don't know what it was. Could also be called "A series of unfortunate space-related events".

Blinded by the Light (2019)

It tries, but fails to impress.

[5/10 · 9 July 2019]

This evening I took the bold decision to go to the cinema to see a film without knowing what it would be before it began due to Cineworld's occasional Secret Cinema events. It turned out to be Blinded by the Light, which will be released in August. A true story about a British Pakistani lad who adores Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s and struggles with family expectations vs personal interests etc. It seemed to be all over the place and even quite bewildering and cringy in places. Although I didn't hate it, the most enjoyment I got out of it was playing "spot the anachronism" of which there were lots, but they did try hard to make it authentic. I should probably have gone to see something more predictably enjoyable.

Wild Bill (2019)

Another instantly forgettable ITV series

[5/10 · 14 June 2019]

Whilst watching this, I could almost feel my brain cells die, and my intelligence diminish. If I watch further episodes, I fear I may end up watching Britain's Got Talent. It was dumb and ludicrous and really needn't have been. Various aspects annoyed me, such as gruff insubordination and the needless overly northern stereotypes to name just two. ITV rarely seem to do these sorts of things well, and I shouldn't have been too surprised. Pretty lame really.

Chernobyl (2019)

Intense, horrific, astonishing, amazing.

[10/10 · 5 June 2019]

Sky Atlantic and HBO's 5 part miniseries Chernobyl has been one of the most intense, horrific, astonishing, upsetting, fascinating, revealing and amazing television programmes I have ever seen. An excellent, convincing production, that never did anything by halves. The sets, the costumes, the locations, graphic design, casting, production design, special effects, visual effects, and everything else. And even the British instead of Ukrainian/Russian dialogue faded into insignificance very quickly. I hope a Blu-Ray will have lots of extras if they release one.

Snatched (2017)

Pleasantly surprised after seeing needlessly harsh reviews and scores on here.

[8/10 · 24 May 2017]

I really don't know why people are so negative about this film. It's shocking to see so many one star reviews. I looked at IMDb before going in and almost changed my mind about seeing it. However, I like Amy Schumer's work and I figured it would be worth seeing to make my own mind up. Well, I'm glad I did, as I saw it in a full cinema and everyone around my laughed and enjoyed it as much as I did.

For measure, I'm a 42 yr old bloke from England.

Sure, it was crude, daft and predictable. But that's not to its detriment at all. sometimes that's what you want, and with Amy, it's what you should positively expecting and hope for. It had enough relatable humour in there for everyone to enjoy and there was variety too.

Now, as far as 1 star films go of recent, there's Alien Covenant. but that's another story.

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Visually stunning. Great film

[8/10 · 6 April 2017]

GitS did have some flaws, but not so many that it detracted from the beauty of the way the film looked. The style was the real draw for me, not the story, which only served as a means of showcasing fantastic design as far as I was concerned. I can't compare it to the Anime of the same name as I find Anime unbearable to look at, whereas this was captivatingly executed with both CGI and physical effects throughout.

Last week I saw "Life", which was much like Ridley Scott's "Alien", but better. "Ghost in the Shell" was very much like Ridley Scott's "Bladerunner", but better. And what's Ridley Scott doing? "Alien Covenant". Which, as a sequel to the dreadful "Prometheus", is probably like trying to polish a, well, you know...

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Typically flawed and over hyped but enjoyable nonetheless.

[1/10 · 1 June 2012]

So I saw the long awaited "Prometheus" tonight. Overall, rather good, but the characters annoyingly and jarringly flaunted so many basic health and safety regulations regarding potential contamination, infection, quarantine and exposure to physical injury from not wearing adequate safety equipment in an unfamiliar extra-terrestrial environment etc. Maybe we're just supposed to be careless or stupid in about 80 years' time. Tsk! Also, while not being pro-god or creationist as such, it did kind of take a dump on Darwinism and the role of evolution in our existence.

Being in 3D was fairly pointless. I even had to check that it was by taking the glasses off. It was, but barely noticeable.

Gorgeous sets and imagery, but I wasn't too happy about what the Engineers or "Space Jockeys" look like under their bio-mechanical suits.

It was plagued by thoroughly unbelievable and rather unprofessional characters as well. Dumb scientists and ship crew lacking the professional integrity you'd expect from a trillion dollar mission. Oh, and the old Weyland guy was a bit rubbish. Just Guy Pearce with lame prosthetic wrinkles. How about using an actual old man actor with an actual old bone structure? He stuck out like a sore thumb. Anyway, I have to pick fault, but it's very much worth a watch and most people aren't as picky as me I guess.

I still wish they'd stop making films as if we're all dumb 15 yr old kids without any real intelligence though. And it should have been purposely made to be an 18 certificate (in the UK at least).

44 Inch Chest (2009)

Sweary, Funny, Tense.

[8/10 · 16 January 2010]

I went to see 44 Inch Chest not knowing much more than the basic premise for the plot and didn't have very high expectations. I left having been very entertained by a simple and effective film. The dialogue was hilariously sweary and the characters were all well defined and acted.

Whilst it might be true that there didn't seem to be any real concern for the law or repercussions of the characters actions, it didn't matter that much because the film's universe barely ventured outside of the one bare room in a derelict house. Although the atmosphere was threatening and some violence had already been meted out, I was glad this wasn't overdone continually as it would've diminished any remaining sympathy we had for the characters involved.

I really hope that this film finds a wider audience because it deserves it, even if for no other reason that it's a bit off the wall in places and differs considerably from the Hollywood style we're so often fed.

I hope to find out at some point what the c-word count is in this film. Overall, well worth watching. I'd happily watch a series of films exploring these characters as I'm sure they would all have fantastic back stories by the looks of it. In fact, I really like that idea.

Verdict: Swearing at its best.