virginia-shed Reviews

Invictus (2009)

Soccer is a child's games, Rugby is war.

[8/10 · 30 April 2011]

Rugby is in the soul, the heart and the mind. If you are lucky, it is held within your Family as The Greatest of Sports. If you expect Invictus to deliver some great Rugby you are watching the wrong film. Go watch Ireland's Grand Slam 2009 DVD's or the British & Irish Lions Tour from 2009. If you want a truly compelling, well directed movie with it's basis in Rugby then watch Invictus. Morgan Freeman is excellent as Madiba (let's face it Morgan Freeman does not do bad performances) and in fairness to Matt Damon he pulls off the role of François Pienaar rather well. François Pienaar himself was happy with the representation, so should everyone else. Damon is maturing into a very fine actor and Eastwood is (I believe) an exceptional director (watch Gran Torino and call me a liar). Invictus tugs at the heart strings and delivers a message about being colour blind, not only that it gives us all a brief view of what Nelson Mandela suffered though. If you ever wanted a feel good movie, then in a roundabout way, this is it.

Red Heat (1988)

Bloody awful movie.

[2/10 · 24 April 2011]

Arnold Schwarzenegger movies should generally be taken with a grain of salt; switch your mind off, sit back and enjoy the ride (or cheese, take your pick). But, truth be told they are usually not that bad - very few will ever be regarded as some of the greatest movies ever made but they are generally enjoyable to watch (Commando, Total Recall, True Lies, etc.). This cask of crap is something else. I trust that James Belushi is ashamed of himself for his performance in this movie. He was ridiculous. Every time he appeared on screen I hoped a bad guy would pop up and shoot him. His performance is so bad I was convinced he was trying to make a statement to the director about the fact he was to be killed off during the film, but it didn't happen. Sometimes life disappoints, just like this awful movie. It's not even laughably bad, it's just bad.

Sharktopus (2010 TV Movie)

Run away from crazy snake man

[1/10 · 26 March 2011]

You've got to be kidding me. We rooted for the Sharktopusamagiggle thing because the acting was catastrophic. Eric Roberts is ridiculous but clearly trying his best (thank you for that my P.I.C) and the least said about the other cast members the better. Sorry, I farted. Whoopa! 2 bottles of wine, three cans of beer utilizing 4 straws could not make this film anything other than complete cack. Recommendation (for two people): get a BIG bag of green before considering watching this film for the comedic value. I will now repeat myself.

You've got to be kidding me. We rooted for the Sharktopusamagiggle thing because the acting was catastrophic. Eric Roberts is ridiculous but clearly trying his best (thank you for that my P.I.C) and the least said about the other cast members the better. Sorry, I farted. Whoopa! 2 bottles of wine, three cans of beer utilizing 4 straws could not make this film anything other than complete cack. Recommendation (for two people): get a BIG bag of green before considering watching this film for the comedic value. End. Shed Out.

The American Poop Movie (2006)

No, don't bother really. Seriously - miss this one.

[1/10 · 16 February 2010]

No, don't bother really. Seriously - miss this one. It doesn't matter how baked you are, this film is not worth it. It's some dude with a camcorder. And now the copy and paste to make 10 lines...... No, don't bother really. Seriously - miss this one. It doesn't matter how baked you are, this film is not worth it. It's some dude with a camcorder. And now the copy and paste to make 10 lines...... No, don't bother really. Seriously - miss this one. It doesn't matter how baked you are, this film is not worth it. It's some dude with a camcorder. And now the copy and paste to make 10 lines...... If you watch this, its your own fault. Knight Rider 2010 is a masterpiece by comparison. Do you get it now?