stahwang Reviews

Bruce Almighty (2003)

Bruce Alcrappy

[2/10 · 31 May 2003]

Jim plays a character that's a mix and match from all of his previous films and we get this not funny old jokes predictable flick with no surprises. It's not that any actor is particularly bad, it's just that the script sucks so much that no one could have saved it.

In the words of the late Bill Hicks "Piece of sh*t, walk away"

Big fat 2 out of 10

Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)

Stay away from this garbage

[1/10 · 20 May 2003]

DMX cant act, and his attempts at it are pathetic, you would think that after his first smash hit with Steven Seagal (Exit Wounds, he may have done others but I have been blessed by not knowing about them as I am sure they must suck as much as this sh*t) he got the hint that acting is not for him but nope here he is in another worthless cheesy action/martial arts flick. Tom Arnold makes yet another pathetic performance (This dude got to be on speed 24/7) but hey what can you expect from the guy starring in McHale's Navy . Jet Li's part in this movie ain't nothing to cheer about either altho I do like many of his other NONE Hollywood film.

Stay away from this garbage, 1 out of 10.

What a Girl Wants (2003)

Been done before and much better at that...

[2/10 · 18 May 2003]

American Girl lives with hot rock&roll mom. Girls dad is an English lord who didn't know he had a child. Girls seeks father out and all sorts of funny stuff happens. This movie has it all, there is extremely funny bits when she falls and stumbles, other great moments is when she acts "crazy" at the boring/lame English events or why not pick the great and extremely hilarious talks she has with her almost stepsister.

Anyway i would like to give this movie a 10....but on second thought a 2 fits much better (It almost was a 1 but I did see the whole flick so...)

Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

They got paid for this ?

[1/10 · 16 April 2003]

I find "stupid" movies just as funny as the next person (Dumb & Dumber Road trip etc) but this isn't stupid, it's utter crap. The "jokes" are lame, the plot is lame, the acting is bad and the movie is 83 minutes too long. I did not laugh one single time. So what's the verdict ? A solid 1 out of 10.

Little Nicky (2000)

Deliver me from evil.

[1/10 · 16 April 2003]

I'm not a big fan of Adam Sandler, I do like Happy Gilmore but all the rest of his movies suck major a** (waterboy bigdaddy mrdeeds etc *barf*)

Adam plays one of Beezlebubs (the devils) children and is sent to earth. This should be the beginning of the funny part of the movie but it ain't. For some reason Mr Sandler uses some kind of retardo voice through out the entire film, and I actually felt embarrassed for him. Mr Sandler isn't the only one suckin in this movie, Harvey Keitel's contribution is laughable and my "respect" for him as an actor went way downhill.

To sum it up. Not funny. Bad Acting. Stupid story. Oh did i mention that It sucks. This baby gets 1 out of 10.

Head of State (2003)

Just not funny

[1/10 · 13 April 2003]

Something about Chris Rock's voice gives me a headache. He does the same old White ppl are geeks who cant dance jokes and sure they were funny the first time but this is like the fourth movie in a row with the same old bs. The story is lame. Only reason I watched this movie was because Bearnie Mac, problem is he has a rly small part. I left 15 minutes before the movie ended. This crap gets 1 out of 10.