Lanraso Reviews

S. Darko (2009)

What a way to make a mess of the first film

[2/10 · 27 October 2009]

To call this movie bad is a good thing. The truth, without Jackson Rathbone's talent this film would have been a total crapper but still, this film kinda ruined the first for me.

It was a bad idea to want to exploit the fans by giving this grade of rubbish and IQless music video trash.

certainly too much for a noname director and the script, its like bad fanfiction and we get the butterfly effect sequels all over again.

I kinda wanned a sequel after I first saw Donnie Darko because there was potential, and this wasn't the potential the fans deserved, it wasn't good, nor did it offer the fans anything worth waiting for, it was just a bunch of fanfiction written by someone who was unable to comprehend what Donnie darko meant for the millions of fans around the globe... and having said that... Im kinda glad it blew up in the faces of the idiots who tried to exploit us.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

The best X-men yet

[8/10 · 29 April 2009]

What to expect from Gavin Hood as director of Wolverine?

I'll tell you,

A more hardcore version of wolverine, totally bad-ass and fresh, a good way to start a spin off franchise. There's several new mutants, and unexpected old faces.

There's a better sense of grittiness and the baggage of Brian Singer's installment and the lack of realism Ratner had is gone and Hood sculpt a clear beautiful film.

This was a fantastic film and I enjoyed it very much.

A sequel already!

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

Somebody forgot the script...

[1/10 · 6 September 2006]

Back in the day Alex Proyas brought us the relatively low budget actioner The crow, after that a sequel that wasn't too bad followed, after that yet another not great but not too terrible sequel came...and now this.

What on earth went wrong, and why was this movie ever made? It is one thing making a bad movie that had the potential of being a good movie, but this movie never had potential whatsoever.

It was awful to watch, the script were terrible and it was almost as if the director wasn't quite sure what he wanned the movie to look like, he tried to give it a 2000's MTV hip-hop feel in the beginning and then tried to do something quite different and then everything went to hell and everything got so cheesy that I only needed a patty and a bun and I would have had a cheeseburger, it actually bordered on slapstick comedy.

Yes this film should not be watched and its lightyears away from the classic helmed by Alex Proyas.

Sky High (2005)

depends how you look at it...

[6/10 · 9 February 2006]

SKy high is the type of movie that can only be judged, depending on your current state of mind or mood. If you are looking for a movie with the overall class, charm and real-world feel of the X-men films or the quite recent Fantastic four, you have a surprise heading your way...but if you just want to relax and watch a semi no-brainer with the kids you have a winner.

For me, sky high was a movie that is utterly mediocre, forgettable but quite interesting in many ways.

There's many twists a turns in this film and surprises here and there, and it has many-many nods to other superhero's like Superman, spider-man and most characters from the marvel universe.

I totally love Kurt Russel and it was almost surreal seeing him in a film like this, but alas he did not reach his full potential and although all the sfx were mint, the camp element over-thundered everything in certain ways.

Like I said earlier, the movie is mediocre but having said that, the kids in the multiplex went crazy for this movie and enjoyed every last second of it.

Saw II (2005)

If you SAW the first, you have to see this.

[8/10 · 22 January 2006]

It is not every year that you get a sequel worthy of the first, not even to mention cinema, especially if the original was a mega sleeper hit such as SAW.

Most of us expected a lame, unintelligent piece of rubbish, rushed and made in production line fashion, merely created to cash in on the unexpected success of the first, some even expected it to be a pg13 rendering of the original.

Thank heavens we were all expecting the wrong thing.

Saw2 was unexpectedly good, and with its complex plot and claustrophobic cinematography it certainly kept me on the edge of my seat for most of the full duration of the film.

Yes it is quite bloody violent in a grisly way and extremely disturbing, but I should tell you that the blood and violence is not just there to shock, it serves the story and entertains the masochistic side of all.

I will not divulge anything about the movie only that...If you liked the first, you will love this so go and see this if this is your cup of coffee.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

uber British and on the way for one of the spots on the top20 of all time!

[9/10 · 2 December 2005]

As I saw the poster I read the names Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman and of course Ralph Fiennes. This was just the movie I've been waiting for, but three months prior to this day I read the novel, heard that the film force behind the movie had cut loads of subplot and so forth...was I still excited???

Hell yea...its Harry potter Ladies and gentleman.

It would seem as if each movie since "Azkaban" have been reinvented and rewritten for the silver screen. Is it the case with this one? yes it is.

Did I like this movie? Certainly.

Mike Newell directed his version of HArry potter in a way that only a Brit can...in a uber British way, with a dark murky atmosphere and a uncanny dosage of British anarchy.

Unlike the first two movies, that was a straight forward artificial pieces, driven by a quasi sense of magic and acceptable special effects, this film, is more like the third that raised the bar for quality of content.

Unlike the first two that was utterly claustrophobic concerning the school and castle, Newell shows us that Hogwards is gigantic,enormous and a colossal school that is much more than a castle.

In this movie,everything goes, anyone goes and the once goody-two-shoes atmosphere of the other movies seems faded.

Enough of that.

Brendan Gleeson was superb as Alastor Moody, Albus Dumbledore seemed more human in this volume, more tense and exactly like an actual headmaster.

The main three were amazing and it was certainly great to see our silver screen heroes at it again.

Ron were superb as the sidekick-like friend trying to find a voice of his own.

Hermione- dazzling as the swan who is (at a fast pace) becoming a lady, that is caught in the midst of a love triangle.

Harry- the everyman person, was well acted by Daniel Radcliffe and he carried the film well.

The main attraction was however Ralph Fiennes, without the benefit of a nose and in thick make-up and robes. He was mesmerizing as Lord Voldemort, a guy so evil and arrogant you love to hate the hell out of him.

Yes movie fans, I loved this movie...saw it twice on opening day, and I am going to see it again tomorrow.

It entertains like only Harry potter movies can and David Heyman produced something amazing and most of all entertaining, for us.

Although scraps of subplots and unresolved themes were almost littered through the movie, it did not break the film. And although many people reckon that Radcliffe cant act, they forget that Elijah Wood cant even spell the word not in one movie and not in any of the LOTR movies.

I think Daniel Radcliffe was brilliant, and though I believe this movie to be better than the mediocre pieces of slime that is the first two, I cant truly say that it is better than "Azkaban"...for Cuaron managed his piece loads better than Newell managed this utterly difficult piece.

But still its worth every show you can lay eyes on...so go out there, see the movie and write your review.

Gremlins (1984)

the classic of classics <<< potential SPOILERZ>>>

[8/10 · 29 November 2005]

Few movie fans remember their first trip into movie-world. For me it was this 80's directed Joe Dante piece that was written by Chris Collumbus and produced by Steven Spielberg. O, the 80's, a truly jubilant era in history...the era of the gremlins.

Given to him by his inventor father, a boy is introduced to Gizmo, a cute strange furry creature that sings, acts lovable and so forth. With Gizmo comes the rules and regulations that is to be strictly administered...No food after 00:00 - no daylight and no water.

When this rules is broken, Gizmo first multiplies when the boy spills water over him, and then the evil offspring tricks him into giving them food after 00:00.

All of this results in the newly born Gizmo's turning into Gorgoyle like demon-creatures causing havoc and living for chaos.

Gremlins is a classic no matter how you look at it, loaded with social commentary, humor and the most important element of movies...love.

an amazing fantastic and funny piece.

Saw (2004)

Not even remotely as terrible as the poster...

[8/10 · 19 September 2005]

I saw the poster but have never heard of this "saw" and because there was in fact nothing else to see I bought tickets for the show.

I was caught off-guard by this, it is very-very bloody, extremely violent and immensely dark. Cary Elves stars as Dr Lawrence Gordon, well acted and charismatic it is hard imagining him as Robin hood men in tights after a performance he gives us in this film.

The plot is very interesting, the concept brilliant...it kind off reminded me of "Seven" and in other ways "Texas Chainsaw massacre" and even "scream" It will gross you out and scare you to death if you are one that is faint of heard, but it will in fact entertain the hell out of you if you like scary-scary movies.

The verdict is that this is a mega sleeper hit, much better than the terrible poster and entertaining.

Layer Cake (2004)

Snatch without its blatant silliness...

[9/10 · 14 September 2005]

With a title such as "layer cake" I entered the cinema today feeling that I might have wasted my money on yet another Lock,stock... type movie that mixes humor with violence etc etc.

Bloody-hell was I wrong. this movie is snatch without the blatant silliness Guy Richy incorporates into his movies. Helmed by Matthew Vaughn, (Richy's producer on the only good movies he's made) Layer Cake tells the story of XXXX, a cocaine dealer wanting an early retirement from everything, but it is not that simple to go cold turkey from the industry worth billions, no no no, he's too well connected.

Layer Cake is a very sombre film with incredible direction and British quality acting...in other words fantastic acting.

Amongst the fantastic actors is Michael Gambon who is a hard boiled, loud cursing bastard as apposed to his rather eccentric turn as Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter.

This was a really good movie and certainly worth a 8 o'clock spot on a Friday evening.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

The anti-hit of this year!!!

[8/10 · 19 August 2005]

With all of the recent mammoth-budgeted sci-fi movies, we came to except that all of them...the matrix, star wars etc etc are way too serious, some of them utterly mediocre whilst the rest either lacks substance or the elements that makes good films.

I've never read the novel and therefor had no idea who or what Hitchhiker was...

This movie has a strong English sense about it...the dry humor and the actors' overall ability to act properly.

Yes, this movie was impressive and I liked it very much. It is without a doubt the anti scifi hit of this year and for once a movie exist that was actually made for an audience with some brains.

Cursed (2005)

If you want to be cursed...watch this!!!

[5/10 · 13 August 2005]

I was excited when I heard of yet another Williamson/Wes Craven collaboration...but I was fairly disappointed with this rubbish.

What do you get when you write a bad idea into script format, hire an uber director and waste his talent, get a star studded cast, and let the camera roll...well actually you get bloody trash like this, but coming to think about it, trash is still a good thing.

It would seem as if Williamson tried to do for werewolves what "the lost boys" did for vampires...but this it is brainless, idiotic nonsense with way too many coincidences and campyness.

Christina Ricca is a beaut, so it Shannon Elizabeth, but that bloody Joshua Jackson is a terrible excuse for what a actor should be and he acts constipated throughout the film.

All and all, it was s***, terrible and not to be compared to any of the scream films.

The world is cursed with movies such as this one.

no sir not at all!

Bad Santa (2003)

unexpected!!!

[8/10 · 4 August 2005]

A miserable conman called Willie and his tiny sidekick Marcus unite every year to pose as Santa and his little black helper.

Willie, a loud cursing hard drinking fool who enjoys the occasional sex on the side cares for nothing and nobody but the next bottle that'l get him drunk.

When he meets a waitress who screws his brains out and a pathetic little boy, he finds that there is in fact more to life than screwing and drinking.

first up...I reckon the strength of this movie lies in the script that was superbly written and secondly with Billy-bob literally being the character with all its rudeness and so on.

It was truly unique.

Funnier beyond anything I expected and a clear example of a anti-blockbuster.

Fantastic Four (I) (2005)

potential spoilers but more than incredible...fantastic!!!

[8/10 · 15 July 2005]

And the superhero movie for this month is...The fantastic4. Weary and loaded with a fair amount of skepticism I entered the cinema today. TO see a guy who flames on, another who stretches, a big monster (with more heart than Meg Ryan at the end of all her movies, combined) who smashes things and a amazingly beautiful Jessica Alba who (makes like most one-night-stands...)disappears. I must be honest that I found myself laughing and being the one thing movie lovers should be...entertained.

Yes...the so-so director of "Barbershop" helmed this piece decently but not as dark as "Batman Begins" or as moody and over-serious as "the hulk" no my dear movie fan, Mr. Story took a more lighthearted approach to helm this movie and I must say that this is very entertaining and will appeal to the entire family.

I find this as a cross-over between the fun/wacky element in spiderman and the kind of scifi/action element of X-men...all blended nicely into a package that is without the potential corniness. Yes, this movie was more than incredible and actually fantastic...times four.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Pretty amazing.

[8/10 · 8 July 2005]

The first glimpse of this picture reminded me quite a lot of ID4 and I must be honest when I say that I did not look forward to see this film, but alas my brother dragged me to the cinema to watch it, and I must say that I found it pretty amazing and much better than ID4. Many may debate that ID4 was released almost a decade ago and that it would be unfair to compare the two but even so, I find WOTW more believable, its got a much better script and the acting, O the acting, more than good. It has been a while since Tom Cruise acted something less than a super-tough guy and in this his character are purely humane. Dakota Fanning is awesome as are Tim Robbins. This was a very interesting picture, the SFX great and everything amazingly good.

Consider me entertained.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The best of the new.

[9/10 · 2 July 2005]

After the fairly good but terribly received film that was Attack of the clones fans was skeptical about the overall quality of the third and final chapter in the star wars saga. But alas I found Revenge of the sith an action packed, fast paced tragedy and the best of the new trilogy. The SFX were incredible as always, the fight sequences amazing but Hayden as Anakin was utterly crap and with Ewan Mcgreggor as Obi-Wan and even the king of cool Sam JAckson as Jedi master MAce WIndu in the cast, he seemed out of place and odd.

Yoda was a treat and the way Lucas structured this piece to connect with "a new hope" brilliant.

Hats of to Lucas, the ultimate Jedi of our time.

Batman Begins (2005)

The Batman we've been waiting for.

[9/10 · 25 June 2005]

After 2 crap attempts at a Batman movie, the studios finally gave the franchise an 8 year hiatus, and it seemed dead until Marvel rocked the industry, forcing this into production. With David S Goyer scripting it with the ever brilliant Chris Nolan behind him...they have created the Batman movie, fans have been waiting for. Christian Bale is a angry, moody and scary batman and not just a pussy such as the previous two. The villains are great, and everything seems perfectly balanced.

It will entertain movie fans with its action and wit and will impress comic fans for the fine attention to detail and comic reference.

In the end it entertains like only a batman movie can and I have new faith in DC and the most brilliant hero in comic history...Batman.

Constantine (2005)

Not bad at all.

[7/10 · 4 March 2005]

When I heard that Keanu's follow up on the Matrix was to be this movie, based on the popular underground comic by DC comics I was way skeptical.

But alas, after seeing it, I have to say that I am immensely impressed by this movie.

To be fair, it is definitely no Hellboy, its visual style lacks the sheer power of Guilermo del Toro, but for once, Keanu's under-performance actually works, especially for his character's "devil-may-care" attitude, and where Hellboy is a cigar chomper, John Constantine is a chain smoker with lung cancer.

It is certainly not the usual riff-raff comic crap like Elektra or Catwoman, and to be honestly clear...if I did not know John Constantine to be from the Hellblazer comic series I would have thought this to be just yet another ultra stylized action horror.

Okay what made the movie for me...

Keanu Reeves...in yet another unusual role, a character thats more human than human...

Gavin Rossdale...in his debut role as a demon, with the appearance of a upper-class guppy. He was a show stealer in his scenes and I kind off wished that I could have seen more of him.

that "Stormare" guy from Fargo... as the Devil. Now kids, that was one hell of a show stealer, and the way he portrayed the devil was funny and yet very scary.

all and all, the SFX, the monster designs, the sets and acting...everything worked well and it was one entertaining...scary but entertaining piece.

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Lacking everything that made the other six movies so incredible.

[6/10 · 26 February 2005]

I can still remember the sleepovers we had on weekends with my friends. We used to spend hours and hours watching the Alien and Predator movies. We even divided into two groups, the Alien fans and the predator fans. Me myself, I am a Predator fan, and was impressed when I heard that a movie was on the way that had both in it. But. Although the SFX were superb and the costumes incredible and the fight sequences breathtaking it lacked everything that made the other movies so amazing. There's not enough Predator action in it and far too much human presence and that silly little girl annoyed the living daylights out of me.

It could have been worse it could have been better, but I found it extremely underwhelming.

Elektra (2005)

Looks can do it for me, but this movie sucks.

[9 February 2005]

I was in my 7th heaven when I learned that a spin-off movie was being made that featured the Elektra character from Daredevil. Last named was an uber stylish piece of work when compared to this rubbish. It had a realistic storyline, brilliant cinematography from DOP Ericson Core and a workable script written by the helmer himself Mark Johnson.

This time round Johnson only returns as Producer with Avi Arad. And the man taking the helm Rob Bowman, who vomited us that uber crap X-files movie some years before. Elektra is a lonely assassin, who lives a life of murderer for hire. With no mention or nod to the Daredevil movie except the sheets in the last fight scene this movie sucked so hard it made me sick. The realism of Daredevil is gone and all of a sudden its American she-ninja meets X-men and stuff. This movie is a insult to any ones intelligence and its screen quality is so low that one could almost deem Daredevil as a Oscar contender. Yes ladies, this 90 minute orgy is in the class of Catwoman, although Garner spends far less time in CG character than last named. Garner is as hot as always, and a beauty so pure she's perfect, but the rest of the cast with the exception of Terence Stamp is a waste of toilet paper. The bad guys are underused, and weak and the Mark Miller character with his fake US accent enough to make you laugh for 2hours. He should be a contender for worst American accent and he ought to take lessons from Charlize Theron on doing accents. I am sad to say that this was one of the worst movies I've seen all year.

Hellboy (2004)

One Hell of a movie...

[10 October 2004]

<<<POTENTIAL SPOILERS<<<<\ I have been waiting for this movie for a long time...

...and although I have not heard of the character or read a single page of the comic before Mr. Del Toro announced that he would helm this piece.

It is a interesting piece, with a strong sense of visual style that consisted out of brilliant make up effects, incredible sets and audience friendly cinematography from Director of Photography

Guillermo Navaro who also did the cinematography on another hell hero movie, spawn and Desperado.

Yes, I was impressed by Guillermo Del toro's work and vision on this movie and he managed to convince me that Hellboy is a more humane character than most of the characters in this film and that (if blended tastefully) comedy can work in these kind of films.

The plot was decent and everything worked well, though the ending came a bit fast...but it wasn't terrible.

For a $80 mil movie this impressed the "HELL" out of me and I wonder why other movies such as Catwoman with budgets of $110 and more was so terribly crap.

The Punisher (2004)

Very Good! <<>>

[24 September 2004]

I went to see this film without any expectations, and I have to say that it was pretty good. Frank Castle is a man at the end of his career as a FBI operative and sets out to start a new life with his wife and child.

Everything goes north when his entire family is annihilated by some men.

Frank is left for dead but he returns to wreak vengeance against those responsible. He becomes the Punisher.

The punisher is a Die hard type of film with a well written script, believable characters and good acting. Thomas Jane was brilliant in his role and he carried the film well.

This does not feel like a comic book movie, but rather a very good action movie.

I, Robot (2004)

Mr Proyas is a robot director

[21 September 2004]

Alex Proyas...with impressive hits such as the very first Crow movie and the superb Dark city ventures into sci-fi once more. But this movie is as artificial as the story and without any of elements that made the other two so impressive to me. The SFX is okay but a bit over whelming and it is only Will smith's brilliant acting and charisma that saved this movie from becoming a shaky battlefield earth type. It entertains however and is the kind of Blade runner Murder Mystery. It is even comparable to Minority report although it lacks the visual specs of that.

For me it was ID4&Bladerunner combined and on heavy steroids and without the aliens.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Something brilliant this ways come!

[16 August 2004]

This movie impressed me very much. After I saw the second movie I worried that the third story (that incidentally is my Fav. of the series) would be inferior to the first two because of a new director taking the helm, new actors in new roles etc.

A role that worried me immensely was that of Sirius Black.

What scared me the most was the rumors that Christian Bale was casted.

To my relieve the best actor from the UK...Gary Oldman was casted as Black and I was relieved.

This movie was a brilliant piece of cinema and had everything...Brilliant SFX,superb acting, good direction and a more than decent script.

Alfonso Cuaron concocted an entertaining and intelligent brew of magical film that is superior to the efforts of the quasi-genius we know as Chris Collumbus.

Yes I would have loved to see MR.Cuaron furthering the history of Hogwards but the man has higher ambitions and other movies.

We are yet to see if Mike Newell is Uber enough to fill Cuaron's shoes at the helm of the next movie.

Catwoman (2004)

So Bad it is funny <<>>

[12 August 2004]

when in the late 90's the news of a catwoman movie did the round I was excited to hear the news...but after seeing this piece of rubbish I am ashamed of ever opening a catwoman comic. Boys and girls I give you catwoman... To begin with, she is not the one from the comics but rather an interpretation the name, thats it. In batman returns Tim Burton introduced Catwoman, a type of anti heroin who kicked serious ass. She was the alter ego of a woman named Selina Kyle, and she had blond hair. In this, movie...Catwomans name is Patience Phillips and she's almost more in CG character than gollum in the entire LOTR trilogy.

Whats more is that catwoman is almost like some Highlander corpse of super bitches and the worst of it all....the bloody costume.

They should have just re-used the old costume in which M.F. did her do's in 12years ago, that would have worked, but instead they reinvented the suit to be a cross-over between the Storm costume and that of a dominatrix.

Pitof did too much with this movie and towards the end it gets a type of PS2 feel to it. Further more... Was Sharon Stone's power...if you can call it that a clear nod to one of the batman villains known as Clayface. was the setting of the movie Gotham city. Well two questions that needs no answers. >My conclusion... This movie is the worst superhero movie of the 2000's and Pitof should P**s-off and stick to SFX.

thats all.

Mean Girls (2004)

I did not want to see this but hell it was all-right!

[10 August 2004]

I wasnt planning to see this movie but nothing else was showing at the cinema in town and I received a free ticket. But this was a entertaining movie with truly funny moments.

That Lohan chick from Freaky Friday sure knows how to carry a movie and that Lacy Chabert, as hot and pretty as she is, acted fairly well in all of her scenes.

Yes this movie had some funny moments like I already mentioned, but also good looking girls.

This piece reminded me quite alot of that Drew Barrymore garbage that is known as Never been kissed. The difference here is that Lohan carries the film stronger, the other actors are funnier and the entire movies feels not as serious.

All and all I think we have a winner for the main event of a Saturday night and a decent piece of entertainment.

For guys, for chicks for crying out loud just see this.