gareth242000 Reviews

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

boring

[3/10 · 2 May 2023]

I do wish modern horror directors/producers tried to add actual fear and dread in their movies. Louds of banging noises, endless possessed screaming, buckets of blood and gore and yet i could watch this sat alone in a dark wood eating cereal without looking over my shoulder.

I think, in fairness, this is a horror film for non-horror film fans. There are many on this list which sadly just keeps growing - it serves only to disgust and shock, but there is no sense of dread, non of the characters are likable, and they make the mistake of thinking "well, let's shove a child in there, cos people will care what happens to her." Nope, not really.

Also, very, very boring and full of the most stupid people who do not once do the sensible thing.

Rubbish.

The Whale (2022)

Let down.

[5/10 · 25 February 2023]

A director i have a lot of time for, but this for me was a huge letdown. I stayed clear of reviews as much as possible before seeing this movie, and i guess this film is emotive to some degree and a movie you could watch in one frame of mind and enjoy/appreciate much more than the next?

I am not put off by the "fat suit" complaints i have read since, but the whole thing just felt contrived and forced! I thought the acting across the board was too dramatic, and yes i understand the pain suffered by the daughter, the wife, the main protagonist, but i just felt like swimming in someone's wallowing self pity!

What is the message of this film? Is it our disgurt at this huge, unhealthy, sweaty man -who with more understanding we come to appreciate? Maybe, i am missing something here, but thought this was all a bit crap, cheap and unexpectedly more shallow than it wants to appear.

28 Days Haunted (2022– )

hilarious! :)

[1/10 · 21 October 2022]

Now, i will first say i havent watched every epidsode yet (3 so far) but i will presume this is not going to be one of those "the joke is on them" things. If i'm right in thinking this, then it is quite possibly the best comedy i have watched and on that scale maybe i should give it 8/10! However, its not meant as a comedy but it is so funny.

Now, you may think i just don't believe in ghosts, and to be honest, i am not sure, but i know a fake when i see one......i mean seriously - "there is as shadow that just moved there!" Yep, the camera crew who one second later show their set up right outside where you were!

Lots of ghostbusters gadgets these clearly bored people use which are basically ridiculous toys with silly lights. So often there are scenes with two paranormal experts sitting right next to each other with blindfold on and listening to radio signals only ghosts can communicate through (special high frequency! :)). They then annouce - we doing a double test to increase the signal and message we may get- we cannot hear eachother, or see other---YOUR SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON A BED! Lol

Brilliantly bad.

The Black Phone (2021)

rubbish!

[3/10 · 1 October 2022]

Can't believe this film has a 7 star rating even at this stage in its infancy.

The characters and completely paper thin, non-memorable. The plot has a thousand holes.

Worst of all its boring!!! I mean really, really boring.

Not to mention predictable to the point i thought the director must have meant for it to be so!

I don't care too much about the morals of the story and it doesn't bother me too much it's another film that suggests being some kind of alpha male makes you a better person, and more acceptable, but it's just the fact it's so badly written, so pointlessly unimaginative that the only way the cops would have any clue is by means of, yes you got it, a psychic girl who leads them in the right direction.

How so many far superior thriller and horror movies do not get the recognition this has, ill never know.

Flimsy writing, bad acting-especially from the killer who at the least you would expect to be in some way scary but was completely comical.

Hey ho, each to their own i guess.

The Split (2018–2022)

its okay but morally?

[5/10 · 6 April 2022]

I thought series one was enjoyable enough although too many clichés and too many long drawn out scenes trying to force emotions rather than do so by use of great script writing or with subtlety.

The acting is good enough but it relied way too much on Walker's dreamy stares and emotional quality too often which for me became a bore.

More so, morally???!!! I mean is it worse that her husband cheated in the past than it is she is in love with someone and was ready to walk out on the her family on her wedding day?? For me it stank of entitlement - to have Walker feeling constantly sorry for herself, without ever really acknowledging what she did/wants is far more damaging and unfair.

Just seemed every woman in this programme (series 1 at least) would get away with morally bankrupt actions while the men were constantly being badgered and lectured to by their counterparts who all had the emotional maturity of a teenager.

But, enjoyable to watch for the most part.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Big jumps, little content

[5/10 · 1 July 2019]

A little surprised this film hag received such glowing reviews. For me its just a lot of scary, jumpy scenes and more like a collection of short stories than one well formed film. It relies on jump scares and creepy scenes almost to the clock! You know after 10 minutes your going to get a jumpy AND LOUD scene. So boring and no real content. The only reason i give it 5 is for a couple of scenes that were well done, but again don't do anything to form another layer of the story. Modern horror at its most obvious. Boring

Hereditary (2018)

let down.

[7/10 · 12 November 2018]

Briefly, this film promised so much and started brilliantly. I do not always agree with Kermode but since watching this film and then listening to his comments, i couldn't agree more. Its good, but could have been so much more. Its nowhere near as good as the Babadook although it tries. Comparing this to the Exorcist is crazy ! Up to the decapitation scene and including this, it was brilliant, but then, as is often the case in modern horror films, the director feels the need to spell out the content and what it means, as if most people couldn't see this quite clearly already.

Not bad, but a let down :(

Alien: Covenant (2017)

such a let down

[5/10 · 18 May 2017]

So fed up after watching this last instalment of one of my favourite franchises. Even though there has been a couple of let downs, and one terrible movie (Alien 4) i still held hope that we were getting back on track.

The first 30-45 minutes were absolutely fine. nothing special but a simple search and rescue film, similar to Aliens. The middle was rushed so badly it suffers from a real lack of story, timing, and as so often in modern films, including sadly sci-fi and horrors it just bored me after that midpoint.

Why oh why does someone like Ridley Scott continue his downward slide into mediocre action movies. Why, also does he seem hell bent on flexing his ego by trying to over-complicate something so simple it doesn't need it.

Alien, a perfect horror film. Tense and to the point with enough story but not so you felt you were being taught some sci-fi facts. Aliens, simple search and rescue and excellently effective. Aliens 3, better than some suggest but still i big letdown (both the cut and uncut films). Alien 4...crap!!!!! For me it then picks up gradually but now sadly i have lost all hope.

The film should have been called robot or droid, because that is all that it seemed it was about. The fxxking droid! You do the right thing and put less well known actors in it which is great in horrors particularly as your never sure who is going to die first. The you put droid man in it, whose a huge movie star and hey presto, its all very predictable again!

Two scenes in which i lost all faith and never regained hope...the droid fight and the drop ship fight, both right out of a Hollywood film for young adults, not so different from transformers and the like....DREADFUL!!!! Ridley please don't touch another alien film. Go and sit enjoying your endless wealth, but quit ruining films

Knock Knock (I) (2015)

Horrible

[2/10 · 30 November 2015]

Horrible film!

Reeves acting is dreadful and the plot is so woeful I cant even begin. The two female actresses are also pitiful and I cant help but be amazed they actually get paid for this!

The plot has so many holes in it and the cops following this would have to be the dumbest ever not to wrap it up pretty damn quick.

Wasted a couple hours of my life on this regurgitated nonsense. The story is your basic house break in movie with the added nonsense of the two violators being hot girls who look about as unlikely to act the way they do as reeves doing hamlet! How throwing Reeevs's house belongings and trashing the house during breakfast should add menace I don't know but I guess its meant to

The Babadook (2014)

Finally a great horror!

[9/10 · 30 January 2015]

I am not going to do any long review or give anything away but after many tears waiting i watched a horror that had some hype and was not left feeling cheated by the end! I love horror movies and have seen far too many. In recent years people have been left watching bad recycled horrors in which you can correctly predict what will happen, who will die, in what order and how the end will almost certainly be left on a cliffhanger--or better known as a director/producer who is thinking of lining their pockets more than constructing a proper end to a film and not thinking of another rubbish franchise. How people regarded the Conjuring as better than this ill never know. It had moments of course like all half backed horrors which know how to pull strings but that is rarely more than that. This was different. Perhaps the fact it didn't come out of the US is partly why it managed to stay clear of the usual flaws.

Anyway, enough from me. Like i said i don't want to say too much but the score, the sound and visual effects, the acting, the lighting, the creativity and clear understanding of what makes something scary are all top notch

Wrath of the Titans (2012)

awful tripe

[3/10 · 14 November 2014]

I thought Battleship was pretty awful, but then i chanced seeing this! Fortunatley it was free via amazon but honestly i couldn't even watch it all. So many good actors who frankly i would like to say sold out, but in truth what do they care they get paid a fortune so can't blame them i guess. Terrible terrible script, and possibly the most tedious film i have seen in ages. I have avoided transformers after the first as i guessed they would be just as tedious. Seriously how many battles do you need to see against a seemingly impossible foe to then get defeated by the most stupid means until you fall asleep. Every foe is like an end of level bad guy in old school computer games but at least you could decide to just die and end it all by your own actions, whereas here you are dragged through a hundred more pointless fights that all end the same way.....

Terrible abuse of a great great story, albeit not anything like what ever written and there is good reason for that. How the hell did this even get on film? Well obviously as its another mindless director and producer backed by financial big shots that don't care one bit for film but see this as another way to pocket millions.

Seriously one of the worst films i have seen and shame on them all. tripe

Red Road (2006)

True and fine

[9/10 · 14 November 2014]

Really great little movie in many ways.

It doesn't try to be more than it is and in that ways stays well clear of more contrived dramas.

Realistic relationships and characters

True to life and also i must mention (silently) that it had one particular scene that made me break down...which is something i so rarely do!!!! For you that have seen it and have wee little ones, you will undoubtedly know the scene i am talking about

Watch it if you haven't yet. Its not perfect by any means but a solid little movie

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Atmospheric and disturbing

[8/10 · 14 November 2014]

There are issues with this movie for me but i love atmospheric movies and this movie for me was that, and sadly atmosphere is something missing from movies so often.

It was contrived i felt but it did make me feel tension, claustrophobic and uncomfortable which rarely happens to me when i watch a movie.

I also enjoy slow movies for me that was no real test and the score really helped to intensify the pending dread i felt.

Without giving too much away the part with the crying child on the beach was really unsettling too. Something about having kids makes this harder to watch!!

Like i said i really thought it was great and i don't really care if it followed the book, or that it was meant to be understood differently.

Hannibal (2013–2015)

The Good, Bad and Ugly!

[7/10 · 4 November 2014]

I was really hoping for this to be brilliant and like many i find the topic of hannibal very interesting. However for all the good elements to this series it was distracted by too many flaws and repetition.

I personally love the slower counseling sessions and reading between the words in conversation, but i found there are so many scenes repeated over and over that i detracted from what could have been a more cohesive and interesting series.

Firstly repetition of dreams while often stunning became a little tiresome and my word there are a serious amount of serial killers in this area! I am surprised there is anyone else left! And without giving anything away they are some seriously stupid FBI not to get a fairly good idea who the killer was!!!! I know people will say that the repetition is necessary as about madness of the mind as much as anything else which builds and builds but i would argue the audience got the gist and didn't need beating round the head with it to get the picture. Anyway, very brief summary but overall enjoyed it all but could have been a lot better considering some of the talented actors/actresses

Heretic (II) (2012)

not very good at all but with some moments!

[5/10 · 26 January 2014]

This was a strange little film. Obviously made on a low budget and with some serious lack of direction at times but for all its failings it has a couple of good moments in it. The fact the budget was small does mean we don't get loads of awful and completely unjustified and non-scary CGI, so there is some good news!

Without spoiling anything there is obviously a connection to the several recent crimes and unsavoury actions of certain priests, bishops, and others clergymen that should be displaying the best qualities in people, not dwelling into the seedy descent and diabolic degrading going ons they have since been accused of.

Anyway, it reminded me of Angel Heart in some ways but not nearly as good. For me though far more promising than chucky or even the awful insidious 2!

Aftershock (2012)

2

[1/10 · 18 January 2014]

This director along with Eli Roth should go to sleep for a long while and think long and hard before making another film. It is just plain awful. Its so misogynistic, senseless and depressing i couldn't bare it. I find it hard to believe it has nearly 5 rating!

The acting was terrible especially from Roth who should just stop making, producing or staring in films. After 30 minutes of pointless party scenes...pointless other than showing lots of scantily dressed model type woman hungry for sex with what seems any man willing, we then get the frankly stupid earthquake scene.

of course this was clearly introduced to partly show half naked girls with short skirts climbing up ladders to gain height while the camera (fortunately for the audience) is right underneath her and looking up skirts! Also its just a silly way to separate some degree of normality into the depravity of small minded Chilean people?, all of whom seem to want to torture people they never met and sexually assault all women, undeterred by their pending doom of a tsunami.

I mean films like this are so bogged down with the idea that all men are capable of pointless murder and causing suffering to those they hardly know its just stupid. It reminded me of the almost equally bad 'The Divide' in feeling.

Anyway, no point me saying anything else. Each to their own but for me really poor. And yes i know slasher movies and other horrors have similar themes of half naked woman/sex/drink/drugs = death, but this exercise of a film didn't serve those purposes either and was flat, dull, without humour, without character, without substance or any sensitivity

Crap!

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

Awful!

[3/10 · 9 January 2014]

Disjointed and possibly the most un-scary film i have ever sat through, but most annoyingly it was so boring! I love slow burners but that's often because there is something true to life about the pace and feel, but this rubbish cop out, money making, profit margin piece of tripe was so full of stupid ripped off sound effects and jumps that i was bored stiff in 20 minutes! It just keeps getting worse and more boring. The story was ridiculous and i don't care how silly people want to be trying to justify this lame pseudo intelligent film with its ludicrous attempts to try and make us think it was just plain BAD! In every way it fails as a horror. Friday the 13th part 100 are awful films but at least they do not pretend to be anything else. This is a director who has limited imagination and scope and indeed credit anymore, and is clearly running the same old machine and getting paid handsomely for it...and fair play to him! But one day people will look back and not remember him at all if this crap keeps being churned out.

This film fails as a horror film because it was not scary. It fails to grab you because it was so disjointed and fragmented it was impossible to care, or at least for me. It fails due to the lack of direction and IMO because it was so clearly just about making money.

Am i the only one that was bored? I mean all those screeches and jumpy sounds are find if there is any point to them but seriously i thought at times they would add them when someone sat on a chair, made a cup of tea or ironed their shirt!!! It was crazy annoying and pointless!

If a couple of the actors were worse i would have given this 2 and that i think is probably too much. And please do not get me wrong i love horror, its my favorite genre and i also fully realize that horror films are largely made than ripped off and regurgitated at an alarming rate, but this for me was just awful and lame beyond my wildest dreams!

Curse of Chucky (2013)

rubbish!

[2/10 · 8 January 2014]

Absolutely useless crap! Seriously thought before watching 5.6 rating was maybe going to be about right but Oh My! Seriously overrated! Just plain awful regurgitated nonsense.

You really should not have to work hard with that horrible doll to make a scary movie but in just every way the film just falls flat and and fails in every way.

I realise its meant to be a bit stupid but if i really have to watch another person wonder how the scary doll moved from a-b and is concerned but then leaves their child with it to sleep with, or leaves a knife beside it etc etc i will scream. Just bad bad Pap!

The Shooting Party (1984)

most underatted film ever!

[9/10 · 22 December 2013]

I cannot believe how badly the point of this film must have been missed! I am no snob, but people can't have understood the core ideas behind the film as otherwise it would be regarded as a classic.

I thought the film was very sad and a great reflection on a English time and traditions passing. The time of drinking fine wines and eating fresh game will be shortly over with the pending war.

James Mason is just perfect in this film! He represents the "good old boy" with principles and values that the younger more competitive Edward Fox misses. This partnership is a beautiful juxtaposition, both understated and acted masterfully.

ANyway, slight rant over but please watch again if you were not sure one way or the other

gareth

Green Street Hooligans (2005)

Awful!

[2/10 · 20 December 2013]

7.5 currently on IMD and i have to say this made me laugh. I am not being a snob but this film is possibly the worst of the year! Mr wood (the hobbit)has to be the worst casting in the history of film! He could never be scary or "tough" with street cred. He is a hobbit at best and the most unlikely hard nut you could ever face! Not to mention what is this film actually trying to say? Is football violence fun? Does it make us a man? Should we never leave a man behind? WHAT A PILE OF CRAP The worst accents in the history of film? Can't be far off! And what nice football hooligans....they don't kick a man when he's down! Really! Amazing! What a way to make us like and identify with the characters a little more by suggesting that they are not cruel thugs but honest, good hearted souls we can relate too! Honestly, the most overrated film ever Gareth

Stoker (2013)

wooden

[7/10 · 30 November 2013]

I will not talk about or summarise the story of the film as i think it can ruin things for those who would wisely rather just see it. However, yet again i have to say what a disappointing film this was. I Really rate the director and love foreign movies and tend to lean towards slower more meaningful films so though this would be a good choice. Empire raved on about it and it all sounded excellent.

In reality while it was not bad it was perhaps the most stagnant film i have seen in a while that should have offered so much more! I like slow, but only when there is something worth waiting for or something subtle lurking beneath what we see, but for me this was protentious and so wooden it was annoying!!!

honestly how people saw this as one of the years best films is beyond me!

Forbrydelsen (2007–2012)

Subtitles losing votes?

[9/10 · 27 October 2013]

I won't review the series as those that have seen it will probably have enjoyed it very much and those that haven't, well they will if they do.

I just wanted to ask if other people think the ratings on IMDb are often lower due to subtitles? I can't see in a million years how the Shield or any of the other TV series have soared above the killing, wallander and the Bridge...also Spiral! They were all great and obviously appreciated by some (which is maybe a better thing i guess?), but wonder what other people are watching sometimes. Yes 24 was enjoyable for 1 series but so over the top it was insane. The shield was fairly shallow IMO. Sopranos i really enjoyed but actually quite overblown also.

anyway, rant over gareth

Dredd (2012)

Anyone for US version of the Raid??

[5/10 · 15 January 2013]

What a rip off!

I am not going to bother reviewing as such cos each to their own. However, i loved The comics growing up and they didn't do a bad job in terms of the violence and darkness of it, but missed largely with the humour.

My only huge gripe is what a rip off of another certain foreign film about a villain owning an entire tower block!!!! Anyone seen the Raid!? They even ripped the music off

What a joke US movies are becoming

Gareth

A Man for All Seasons (1966)

Very underrated

[10/10 · 12 November 2011]

Paul Scofileds lead performance has to be my favourite of all time, and i have seen many films and classics throughout the history of cinema, from major films to small obscure films many people have not heard. Its a wonderful treat of a film, both moving and intelligent and understated. I wish films with similar effort and depth were made like this now but largely are not due to the craze of the profit making film industry we have today. The kings speech is a good film but by todays standards is regarded as a modern masterpiece...??? Empire magazine treat so many films with a 5 star rating its insane. Some are good and some of these films are nothing short of middle of the road films with an annoying quirky twist.

Like some others have said how this film is not in top 250 on IMDb is laughable. Yet crap like American history X is??????!!!!!!!!

Saw 3D (2010)

Deaths, gore and boring!

[2/10 · 2 July 2011]

Same old Same old and no surprises. Lots of deaths in lots of increasingly horrible ways. I can't understand why horror film makers would work so hard to echo the parody of Scream but seemingly without even flinching at the crap they are producing! With each Saw, its so predictable that the gore effects will be more visceral and nasty than ever. There will be more deaths by means of ridiculous traps that would take days to set up in the first place and truly make planning anyone's death impossible to time or fix when or where it would take place. I'm stupid enough to have watched them all, mainly due to the fact i really liked the first Saw, but to be honest like most movie franchises you will feel let down and slightly dirty and this franchise is certainly no different.

Anyway, nothing new here and if you like gore to the max then for this at least you will not find many films on a par with SAW 3D. The fact this film is all about gore and sick scenes and absolutely nothing else is why its a little sad and for a better word...Crap!