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dingusbird
Reviews
The Canyon (2009)
What happened to common sense
SPOILERS .The scenery in this movie is excellent, I have a feeling they shot some of it in Utah though. Anyways I just had to post a review for this movie.
I can almost imagine how the screen writing went. They decide somehow the guy is going to get his leg stuck then of course there will be a following scene where the woman has to cut it off. I think after they decided on that scene they handed over the reigns to a monkey with a typewriter to make it fit. It makes no sense for them to just decide to climb a 200 foot cliff when they have no climbing gear , probably no experience (aside from 1 rock wall climb lol), and were heavily fatigued. It was a poor attempt to get from point A (they are lost in the grand canyon) to point B (he is stuck and must cut the leg off). Not to mention that any little crevice like that would be long filled in with sand.
The movie just has so many parts that aren't believable because the characters do such stupid things. The biggest part was the fact that they didn't just retrace their footsteps after the dood was bitten. Nope they had to wonder off and get lost. If you put aside the ridiculous script this movie isn't bad.
The Grey (2011)
Not too bad of a movie
SPOILERS. First off it wasn't too bad of a movie, what really bothers me is the growing trend for movie makers to include scenes that are "cool, action-packed, or exciting" at the expense of having the movie become so unbelievable that its hard to watch. For instance, the scene when they jumped off the cliff into the tree. "Oh! lets have a really kewl shot where the guy jumps then there's like a big cliff and the audience gets anxious when the guy falls and then they get scurd when the wolves eat him and drag him away! Itll be so awesome!" ... Nevermind the fact no one would do that in real life. Nevermind the fact they were WAY better off in the plane. Nevermind the fact that wolves do not in fact fly and would not magically be at the bottom of the cliff waiting at the exact tree for him to fall. And it goes on an on throughout the entire movie.
What I liked about the movie was that it wasn't all nonsense action like the trailer suggested. The parts with the wallets were meaningful as well as the flashbacks to the crews family members. The scene I enjoyed the most was when the guy decided to give up and wait to die while enjoying the scenery. The slow revealing of why Liams character was so depressed was good as well. The poem added a bit to the movie too , I think if they focused more on the drama of survival as well as what it does to the human mind and less on the nonsense lets fight wolves with shotgun shells for 120 minutes it could've been way better. It probably wouldve been better I think if they weren't even any wolves. The cold is the only antagonist the movie needed, unfortunately I Think in these times people will only go to see movies that are boom this blow that up fight this rather than ones that make you think a reflect upon it long after its over.
PS. for all those complaining the end scene was cut short without a fight I give props to the director for doing it like that. The 2 seconds of Liams character laying over the wolf after the credits said more than a 5 minute long action packed booze bottle fingered fight scene could've ever said.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
leave your brain at home
attention. leave your brain at home. it will not be needed to watch this movie. and WARNING if you attempt to bring it don't expect to leave the theatre feeling fulfilled
It bothers me that guns can fire endlessly. that is until the characters decide its time for a slow motion shot then they discard it and grab another from ?somewhere?
It bothers me that alice supposely can fly from alaska to LA on one tank of fuel. Seriously whats with that? This movie has no plot and it would have been much more entertaining to fill in the gap here. If you use your brain you might have been able to surmise that she would have needed to land to refuel... landing at various airports trying to find fuel whilst defending from the undead would have been a more well thought out and entertaining plot IMO
It bothers me that the Hollywood appear to burn straight for 4 years. what is it made of? If it has enough energy to burn for 4 years straight then why aren't we running our cars on burning of Hollywood signs. this completely annoys me ... OH LETS HAVE A KEWL SCENE WHERE SHE FLIES BY THE Hollywood SIGN AND ITS LIKE ITS BURNING AND ITS LIKE A REMINDER OR SOMETHING OF PAST SOCIETY AND HOW LIKE ITS LIKE OVER CAUSE LIKE THE UNDEAD ARE HERE ! nevermind that after 4 years most if not ALL of the fires would be out of fuel.
and most of all it bothers me that I watched an ~80 minute movie and I feel like absolutely nothing interesting happened. There isn't really a plot. the main character goes from one place to another. does one thing. then shoots a bunch and its over. It was the same with the movie before this resident evil extinction. who agrees with me that both these 80 minute movies could've been combined into one regular length movie? Go watch quantum of solice or inception and you will feel like you've been around the globe twice and enjoyed every minute of it.
well at least there is one fun thing to do while watching this movie. try and count the bullets before the characters reload.
PS Paul in the next movie can you just cast KACEY BARNFIELD as the only character. don't worry about the plot or dialog just have her on screen the entire time. god is she gorgeous