Well that's 1hour 35minutes of my life I'll never get back. Just awful, slow overacted nonsense. If you want to make a film about a British family living in a castle come to Britain to make it with British actors. Otherwise you end up with a mess like this.
Reviews
14 Reviews
Deadly Switch
(2021)
Just why?
23 February 2019
Why? Why make a film with a group of "actors" that couldn't act their way out of a paper bag? I just don't get it. Surely at some point someone realised just how bad this was? I appreciate Netflix funding things others won't but please get a quality filter.
Downsizing
(2017)
What did injustice watch?!
27 January 2018
It certainly want what was given across in the trailer. Expected a comedy with Christen Wigg and got a preachy showpiece for Matt Damon. Did they think it was so bad they had to sex it up in the trailer? I suspect so. Could have been so good as well!
9-1-1
(2018– )
Oh dear. This has potential ...
25 January 2018
I was excited about this but I shouldn't have been. Honestly do these people not hire emergency service advisors? It sure doesn't look like they do. That said it seems they didn't hire a casting director so I'm not surprised. It's LOL and it really shouldn't be. What a shame that shows like this get made and other great ones get cancelled!
Death in Paradise
(2011– )
Please put it out of its misery!
12 January 2018
This began as a different kind of detective show and was quit enjoyable. Now in its 8th year it is truly on its last legs and needs to be taken out back and humanely put to sleep. The plot is the same every week, they have run out of ideas. All it is now is a way for the BBC to reward it's stars with a free holiday on a sun soaked island. There are some great characters so it is truly a shame to see them trotting out the same awful scripts week after week. PLEASE let it go quietly BBC and spend the money on something more worthwhile!
Inhale
(2010)
What a surprise!
24 March 2012
Every now and again a film comes along that you watch as a "matter of course" and get blown away by. This is such a film. I did not expect a great deal from the back of the DVD but figured it was worth a watch.
The premise sounds corny but the cast really pull it out of the bag. I found myself immersed in the film which doesn't happen very often. The last time I was this engrossed was Schindlers List which I think says it all.
Watch
it
soon!
The premise sounds corny but the cast really pull it out of the bag. I found myself immersed in the film which doesn't happen very often. The last time I was this engrossed was Schindlers List which I think says it all.
Watch
it
soon!
The Hunters
(2011)
Truly awful on every level
29 December 2011
Well it seems for a change someone not involved with a film is posting the first user review. I suspect this is because everyone involved with the film is far too busy denying they had anything to do with it!
I never let the words "low budget" or "independent" put me off a film, I've seen some great films by looking for this kind of stuff. I've also seen some terrible ones and this baby just joined the list very near the top.
OK so marketed as a horror film you soon realise it's anything but. NO matter, I like a good thriller...which this ain't. Confused is the words that comes to mind. Filmed in France but set who knows where, dodgy American accents mixed with a large portion of French language. Plot could be written on the back of a postage stamp but somehow ends up with a 1hr 50min film...
For me the film as advertised started at the 1hr 30min point and by then I was losing the will to live. The main location was interesting but was never used to it's full potential and the effects! Good God the effects... Body parts straight out of a dusty corner at The London Dungeon, guns with holes in the end only an airgun pellet would fit through, watery blood and the most amazing trees that shoot sparks when hit with bullets.
Acting wasn't horrendous given what they had to work with, music was OK. Cinematography was OK with the notable exception of the nightmare scenes which where, frankly, shamefully bad.
Words fail me.
I never let the words "low budget" or "independent" put me off a film, I've seen some great films by looking for this kind of stuff. I've also seen some terrible ones and this baby just joined the list very near the top.
OK so marketed as a horror film you soon realise it's anything but. NO matter, I like a good thriller...which this ain't. Confused is the words that comes to mind. Filmed in France but set who knows where, dodgy American accents mixed with a large portion of French language. Plot could be written on the back of a postage stamp but somehow ends up with a 1hr 50min film...
For me the film as advertised started at the 1hr 30min point and by then I was losing the will to live. The main location was interesting but was never used to it's full potential and the effects! Good God the effects... Body parts straight out of a dusty corner at The London Dungeon, guns with holes in the end only an airgun pellet would fit through, watery blood and the most amazing trees that shoot sparks when hit with bullets.
Acting wasn't horrendous given what they had to work with, music was OK. Cinematography was OK with the notable exception of the nightmare scenes which where, frankly, shamefully bad.
Words fail me.
Retreat
(I) (2011)
Thoroughly enjoyable
22 October 2011
Any film relying on just three main characters needs to make sure the actors are up to the job. This film from a new director got it spot on as far as I'm concerned.
Jamie Bell has well and truly come of age and shown himself to be a superb actor. Thandie Newton is as always a good bet and of course Cillian Murphy makes it a hat trick.
People have pointed out plot errors and there are a few but I feel that watching a film always involves leaving reality at the door to a certain extent so think this is nitpicking.
Enjoy this film for what it is. A low budget thriller that punches above it's weight!
Jamie Bell has well and truly come of age and shown himself to be a superb actor. Thandie Newton is as always a good bet and of course Cillian Murphy makes it a hat trick.
People have pointed out plot errors and there are a few but I feel that watching a film always involves leaving reality at the door to a certain extent so think this is nitpicking.
Enjoy this film for what it is. A low budget thriller that punches above it's weight!
Sanctum
(2011)
Cracking film
15 October 2011
Yet again I seem to like a film that others seem to hate. I think people expect too much I really do!
Sanctum was thoroughly entertaining. At times I fought back tears and found myself really immersed in the characters.
The cinematography was nothing short of amazing, the sense of scale was stunning. I really felt the claustrophobia as well as the vast open spaces.
Not the best film of the year but certainly not deserving of the harsh comments here!
Come on folks, give credit where it's due:-)
Sanctum was thoroughly entertaining. At times I fought back tears and found myself really immersed in the characters.
The cinematography was nothing short of amazing, the sense of scale was stunning. I really felt the claustrophobia as well as the vast open spaces.
Not the best film of the year but certainly not deserving of the harsh comments here!
Come on folks, give credit where it's due:-)
Bereavement
(2010)
Lost the will to live.
17 September 2011
Where to start.... Well I read the reviews and as always went in with an open mind since I frequently like films with bad reviews (I obviously ignored the amazing reviews from cast and crew)
I was expecting a B-Movie slasher I guess. What I got was a film trying to punch far too much above it's weight. It wanted to be taken seriously but when the leading lady has obviously been picked for her ample bosoms and permanently larger than life nipples over her acting it just ain't gonna happen!
Then there's the blood.... Lots of it obviously but could they really not get the colour right? I think the effects dept must have popped to Asda for some cheap ketchup. Very poor effort.
I think F- Movie sums it up really. AVOID.
I was expecting a B-Movie slasher I guess. What I got was a film trying to punch far too much above it's weight. It wanted to be taken seriously but when the leading lady has obviously been picked for her ample bosoms and permanently larger than life nipples over her acting it just ain't gonna happen!
Then there's the blood.... Lots of it obviously but could they really not get the colour right? I think the effects dept must have popped to Asda for some cheap ketchup. Very poor effort.
I think F- Movie sums it up really. AVOID.
Behind the Wall
(II) (2007)
Oh dear....
5 August 2011
I always give films a chance and as such watched this to the bitter end. Where to start..... Made for TV has become known to mean a film that may not be of the quality Hollywood demands. I would say this was "made for betamax"!
Acting: Poor to awful Plot: Could have been handled better Production: Non existent Music: From an episode of some cancelled 70's drama
What more to say.....
I want 1 hour and 29 minutes of my life back!!
Really, even if you are bored out your mind watching paint dry would be far more enriching to your life.
Acting: Poor to awful Plot: Could have been handled better Production: Non existent Music: From an episode of some cancelled 70's drama
What more to say.....
I want 1 hour and 29 minutes of my life back!!
Really, even if you are bored out your mind watching paint dry would be far more enriching to your life.
Trust
(I) (2010)
A film that HAS to be seen
24 June 2011
I watched this film without any expectations. To be honest I saw David Schwimmer was involved and let my head devalue the film before it even started.
Boy was I wrong. Trust had me hooked from the first few minutes. The subject matter is controversial to say the least but I feel it has been handled very well here. In no way does it feel exploitative, in fact in some areas I felt it was almost like a documentary.
Extremely hard to stomach in places it does not overdo the shock factor as it may have done in other hands. The cast are superb, there is not as I can see a weak link anywhere.
The only problem with this film is it's certification. Rating it R means that the people who should be watching it can't. IMHO this film should be given to every high/secondary school worldwide as Schindler's List was.
If you have kids watch this film. Them watch it with your kids! This is a subject that needs to be out there and I commend Mr Schwimer for having the guts to make it!
Boy was I wrong. Trust had me hooked from the first few minutes. The subject matter is controversial to say the least but I feel it has been handled very well here. In no way does it feel exploitative, in fact in some areas I felt it was almost like a documentary.
Extremely hard to stomach in places it does not overdo the shock factor as it may have done in other hands. The cast are superb, there is not as I can see a weak link anywhere.
The only problem with this film is it's certification. Rating it R means that the people who should be watching it can't. IMHO this film should be given to every high/secondary school worldwide as Schindler's List was.
If you have kids watch this film. Them watch it with your kids! This is a subject that needs to be out there and I commend Mr Schwimer for having the guts to make it!
Hidden 3D
(2011)
Really not that bad!
22 May 2011
I really think the reviews here so far are unfair. This is not a big budget Hollywood film! What it offers is an hour and a half of mindless horror fun. I think it's better than at least 3 of the Saw films and that's not saying much.
Yes it's been done before but it's been done again pretty well here. There is a bit too much snobbery on IMDb right now IMHO and the reviews of this film prove it.
Got a spare 90 minutes? Looking for a no brainer fun horror?, give it a try and if you like it add a review. And BTW I'm not in any way connected to the film, I just liked it!
Take it for what it is and enjoy it:-)
Yes it's been done before but it's been done again pretty well here. There is a bit too much snobbery on IMDb right now IMHO and the reviews of this film prove it.
Got a spare 90 minutes? Looking for a no brainer fun horror?, give it a try and if you like it add a review. And BTW I'm not in any way connected to the film, I just liked it!
Take it for what it is and enjoy it:-)
Bad Day
(2008)
Awful film lifted slightly by supporting cast.
29 May 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I had high hopes for this film when I saw Claire Goose on the cast list and she acted well. However, even she could not make up for the truly awful performance from Donna Air. Wooden doesn't even begin to describe it.
The supporting cast, in places, lifts the film slightly but to be honest the acting isn't the main problem with this film. The plot has more holes in it than Sarah Harding's fishnet's.
Little things annoyed me as well like the SOCO team having "S O C O" stencilled in huge letters on their backs as if the audience is too stupid to know what the men in white Tyvek suits do at crime scenes. Why did the lead have to drive a Pontiac? Why did Air's character have to slide across the bonnet of that car during the chase scene? Looking at the drama we are producing here in the UK at the moment it amazes me that tripe like this got past the drawing board. Surely Miss Goose can find some better vehicle for her obvious talent.
Watch it if you want to know how not to make a Britfilm.
The supporting cast, in places, lifts the film slightly but to be honest the acting isn't the main problem with this film. The plot has more holes in it than Sarah Harding's fishnet's.
Little things annoyed me as well like the SOCO team having "S O C O" stencilled in huge letters on their backs as if the audience is too stupid to know what the men in white Tyvek suits do at crime scenes. Why did the lead have to drive a Pontiac? Why did Air's character have to slide across the bonnet of that car during the chase scene? Looking at the drama we are producing here in the UK at the moment it amazes me that tripe like this got past the drawing board. Surely Miss Goose can find some better vehicle for her obvious talent.
Watch it if you want to know how not to make a Britfilm.
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