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The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
Don't do it!
I had heard about this special for years. I knew it was bad but I thought it would be funny to watch and laugh at. This was my first error. My second error was watching it in an altered state. My third was watching it alone. There were a few really funny parts (Harvey Corman doing the cooking show) but most of the movie was spent in a state of utter and absolute confusion. Even the parts that were funny were mostly funny because of how ridiculous they were.
As I began it, I thought, why don't they put this on Disney+ for the die hard fans. I know it's terrible but people will watch for the novelty. I quickly realized that they won't do that because they would then be required to pay for the therapy of anyone who watched it. I don't know what was wrong with them or what kind of drugs everyone had taken but it spiraled off into something horrifying. I know people will read this and think it's a joke or I'm exaggerating but please, I assure you, I'm not joking. I thought I was having some kind of psychological break. At one point, towards the end (don't worry I'm not spoiling anything and it wouldn't matter if I did) there's just a shot of Chewbacca on the screen and it was at this point that I actually felt my soul leave my body.
If you want to watch this, I implore you not to do it alone, especially if you're going to do it in an altered state. If I'd had someone with me, I might have mitigated some of the damage by having someone to talk to throughout.
There is just so much I don't understand. Not that I couldn't follow the story, I could, it's basic. It's just a why? Why is any of this happening? Why am I being subjected to this? Why are some parts incredibly dark for something that's a holiday special? Did Bea Arthur owe someone money? Is that why she did this?
If I tried to list everything that was either completely bonkers or disturbing, I would be here all day because it was virtually everything! So yeah. Seriously. Don't do it. I'm pretty sure this is a real life version of The Ring only you don't die, you just sort of wish you had. Trust me on this.
Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate (2018)
Not as funny as the first but still very funny! Rex is hilarious!
I see a lot of negative reviews and they compelled me to write my own. I found the movie very funny. True, the first was funnier but this was still very good. I was sorry Willam wasn't in this one but I love Katya and she did not disappoint. She was fantastic. There was an underlying, darker, graver subplot to this movie, just beneath the ridiculously campy main plot that I found very powerful.
But the real reason I wanted to write this review is because of all the complaints about Rex played by Doug Plaut. I'm not sure why people hated this character so much. I found him HILARIOUS. I saw at least one reviewer say that he made them uncomfortable. Doug Plaut has mild cerebral palsy. He also had thyroid cancer and had to learn to speak again. His character is incredibly bizarre but that's what makes him so funny. He really played it very well and he makes the fishiest of queens!
If you go into this movie knowing that it's low budget and campy, you'll likely enjoy it. If you go into it expecting some kind of auteur film, well, you're watching the wrong movie!
My only real complaint is that I wish Alaska had a larger role. Bye-eeee!